HOW To Deal with a Disrespectful Teacher?

Updated on April 04, 2018
E.B. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

In my 8th period class my teacher is so rude and it’s hard for me not to do anything about it. my teacher called me up to her deck and told me to stop hanging out with my 2 Bestfriends because there bad kids and to listen during class and there not the right group of people for my kind the teacher said. when I sat down my friends came into class late but with a good reason ( they were sick one was throwing up in the bathroom and the other was trying to help her) when they came in the teacher got mad at them and send them to 128 the deans office for punishment I got mad because before that the teacher was already treating my friends like garbage so I walked out to try to defend my 2 best friend I know there could have been a better way to handle the situation but it really hurt the next day my teacher separate us and would not let us sit with anybody because according to her we were destructions to the whole class and threatened us to behave or we would get punished this teacher has lost my trust and my friends trust and we don’t feel safe with this teacher at all and I need your guys help to figure out what to do because now it’s ripping our high school experience apart thanks

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i feel sorry for the teacher who is trying to do her job but is stuck with bratty kids who think their high school 'experience' is more important than everyone else's education.

i have zero patience for 'trust' and 'safety' being misused in this fashion. it leaves kids who have real reasons for not feeling safe with nowhere to turn.

khairete
S.

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K.G.

answers from Fort Myers on

It sounds like you need to grow up. How do you not feel safe with this teacher? She asked you to stop talking and disrupting the class. I'm so sorry shes ripping your school experience apart because shes trying to teach while you worry about being with your friends. Pay attention in class; maybe you will learn the difference between there, their, and they're.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

If your friends had a good reason for being late, and the teacher would not listen to them, that's unfortunate. Teachers sometimes have to make judgement calls, and sometimes students do get in trouble when they don't completely deserve it. Keep in mind, though, that if your friends have repeatedly gotten in trouble, it will be very difficult for any teacher to give them the benefit of the doubt. It's like the boy who cried wolf. If a student gets in trouble too many times, it becomes very difficult for anyone to trust them.

I'm not sure why you feel you can't trust your teacher. She was doing her job. You should behave. Your friends should behave. She didn't threaten you. She reminded you that if you do not behave, there will be consequences.

Right now you feel like your teacher doesn't respect you. So do something positive to earn her respect! Don't whine and complain about it! Prove to her that you are worthy of her respect, and encourage your friends to do the same. For starters, apologize to your teacher for walking out. That will show her that you take this seriously and that you sincerely want to make things better.

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

ETA: You don't trust the teacher anymore because he/she separated a group that was unruly in the class? You sound like you're 14. That's NOT why one should not feel safe or no longer trust a teacher.
________________________

E.

Welcome to mamapedia.

YOU were rude for walking out on class.
Sometimes ADULTS see and hear things that CHILDREN (YOU) don't hear.

It's obvious you still need an education, as you couldn't put this post together correctly.

It's THEY ARE - or they're - not the right group of people for you.

IF one of your best friends was sick and vomiting? They should have been going to the nurse's office or clinic not just walking in late. and if YOU KNEW one was sick? You should have said something BEFORE they walked in late.

Your teacher separated you - it's a pack mentality.

Destruction? I think you mean DISTRACTION to the class. If you can't be RESPECTFUL enough to LISTEN to your teacher while the teaching is INSTRUCTING you? Well, yeah. You need to be broken up.

This is a learning point for you. You need to actually listen to the adult without being pissed off and see what is going on without your jaded opinion of the situation. As I stated earlier, sometimes, people can see what we don't want to see - and it's obvious you don't want to see that your "best friends" are NOT a good influence on you and your education.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

No one should have to deal with a teacher who makes them feel unsafe, but unfortunately, you have not said anything here to explain why you are in danger. You say you don't trust the teacher, but you don't say why.

Your teacher - right or wrong - thinks your behavior changes when you are with these 2 other girls. I don't know what she means by "your kind" or how you interpret that. But usually what teens do is they talk to he counselor, the school psychologist or another administrator to get help.

You say the teacher accused you of being "destructions" to the class. I think auto-correct got the better of you here, but I don't know whether you mean "destructive" or "disruptive." It makes a difference.

The teacher's job is not to make your high school experience a ton of fun. It's to teach you. Your job is to do what's expected and to have as much fun as possible while doing it - that means a balancing act. Expecting it to be "best friends and play time" all day is kind of immature - and maybe the teacher is telling you that you have far more potential than you are living up to. If you walk out and stay pissed off at a teacher, you stop learning.

If your friends arrived late to class because one was sick and the other was helping her, they made a mistake in judgment. A sick student should go to the nurse - and the one helping her should accompany her, and then get a pass back to class from the nurse. A student with a virus or food poisoning shouldn't be going to class - she should go to the nurse and get picked up by a parent. A student who is sick from some other cause (pregnancy, hangover) should be taking better care of herself too, and should at least rest up in the nurse's office. Your friends ignored that basic, common-sense rule. They came to class, didn't like what the teacher said about seeing the office staff (because a teacher shouldn't stop class for 2 kids like that) and you decided to walk out in protest. That shows you can only see one side of the situation - theirs - and you're not mature enough to think of the other 20 kids in the class. They are entitled to an education that isn't disrupted by kids coming in and walking out when they feel like it.

Sounds to me like the teacher has the best interest of all the students at the top of her mind, and she's not going to let 3 besties run the show. If you don't agree, then you set up an appointment with the appropriate administrators and try to show your maturity by understanding all sides. If you walk out of a classroom, you just show you are not mature enough to have a discussion, and that's not going to get you any privileges or leeway from school staff.

No one ever learned anything while talking. So if you're going to stay outraged, then sit down with an experienced staff member, state your position and concerns, and then LISTEN (really listen, without saying "But, but...") and try to be an adult about it to show how reasonable you are. Your legitimate complaints will be dealt with better, and your non-legitimate concerns can be put aside. If you just want to stay outraged and not look for a solution, then I think the teacher is probably right.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

You sit separated because you don't have the right to sit where ever you want in class if you are disrupting the learning experience of the others. You continue to do your work and keep your head down until the school year is over, and remain respectful to the teacher.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Your priorities are pretty mixed up.
How much help does anyone need when they are barfing?
You vomit, rinse your mouth out and go to the nurse - how does any of that involve you?

You are immature - which goes a long way to explain your lack of anger management - but some anger management is exactly what you need.

Your job is to get as good an education as you can so you can eventually become an independent adult who at the very least provides for their own food, clothing and shelter.
Walking out from class isn't going to get you there.
Leaving high school with a diploma in your hand is what the 'high school experience' is all about.

Friends come and go - and they aren't going to pay your rent, buy your groceries or provide a wardrobe for you for the rest of your life.
It's hard for a child your age to picture - but someday you will be 75 years old and the 'best friends' you hold so dear right now will be long gone.
It's doubtful they will be in your life 5 years from now.

You want some respect - what have you done to earn any?
Whining about how unfair life is will not get you the pity party you are looking for.
Life isn't fair - never was - and never will be.
Get over it.

Talk to your parents, your guidance counselor and your teacher.
Say you are sorry - you need some help with impulse control and anger management and really listen to the advice that they give you.
Let your friends handle their own problems - you can't fix anything for them.

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N.K.

answers from Miami on

Wow, drama much? What is so unsafe about a teacher breaking up disruptive students? Ruining a high school experience and losing trust? Like I said, very melodramatic reaction for something so petty -- what is next, slitting your wrists because you didn't get your way? School is to learn. You can get together with your friends after school, during recess, and on weekends. The teacher is right in separating you if you're all running out into the hallway or disrupting class to defend each other. This is unfair to other students who are there to learn, and stressful for the teacher who thinks you should be old enough to not need a babysitter while she is trying to teach.

The fact the teacher said you should not hang with these kids tells me that these are kids who HABITUALLY get in trouble, this isn't just a one-time occurrence. I bet there have been other occasions these girls missed class or came in late and she's fed up. Then you stand up and disrespect the teacher by talking back to her when she sends the other two into the principal's office. Yup, I can see why she's trying to break you all up. Your grades are probably slipping and you're probably getting an attitude, as well. She probably has seen some type of potential that is being jeopardized by your friends' behavior, and she cares enough to say they are not right "for your kind" meaning, a potentially talented, intelligent kid.

Be thankful she hasn't reported all of this to your parents, as most teachers would, which would probably make things worse for you, if they're true, involved parents. She also has caught this in time and spoken to you respectfully so you can do something about it, before it affects your chances of getting into college or flunking out of high school. Maybe someday you will be mature enough to thank her for that, before it's too late. I still don't see how this affects your safety in school though. Do you even know what it means to feel safe around someone?

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Look, I understand where you are coming from but you are thinking about this in a way too dramatic and immature way. I don't mean to hurt your feelings saying that. I'm sure you are a great kid. Think of things from your teacher's perspective. She didn't know someone was sick, but she did know that these kids have a history of disrupting the class. Sending kids to the deans office is not that big of a deal...the dean will talk to them and find out what happened and life will go on. In the future if you or a friend is sick they need to do the right thing and tell the teacher they just threw up and may they go to the nurses office (or just head to the nurses office if it is between classes). Other friends do not need to help them or tag along and sit with them. The nurse will take care of it. From my viewpoint, the teacher is trying to keep order in the class and keep kids from disrupting it because it is her job to teach. It also seems like she cares about you and wants the best for you. Don't take her saying those things to you personally. She doesn't mean to "dis" your friends. She is just saying that from her perspective she wants you to hang with kids who care about school or focus on school instead of other distractions. She knows you can live up to your potential and focus on schoolwork and go on to do great things in life.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

You have written nothing that indicates why you would not feel safe with this teacher. I think you should try to put yourself in your teacher’s shoes and try to understand where she is coming from. Sounds to me like she cares about you and doesn’t want you to get involved with the wrong crowd.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

It actually seems like this teacher sees your potential and just wants the best for you. If you were my kid, I would tell you that walking out of class is disrespectful. The teacher was just giving you advice because she cares about you. You may not see that now, but as an adult you will look back and see that she was probably a great teacher. Give her a chance. It's up to you whether you take her advice about your friends, or not. I would tell my kid that while in class it is his job to learn, not make sure he gets to sit next to his best buddies. You do that at lunch and after school. Not liking how a teacher disciplines has nothing to do with trusting them and nothing to do with feeling safe or not. I would also say to use capital letters, punctuation, correct spelling and paragraphs when writing to a bunch of adults, especially if you are trying to make an argument about school.

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T.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

School is like a JOB. You are there to learn. When you wrap your mind around that part you will be ahead of many.
School is serious. Your teacher is trying to teach.
Be respectful. It's not a social situation, it's a place to LEARN.

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D.D.

answers from Boston on

Your teacher is so mean. Expecting you all to be on time to her class. Plus listen to the lessons and possibly learn something. How rude of her. Does she think its her job or something??????

Really you need to pay attention to your lessons and do well in school so you can get a job where you don't have to push the special of the day.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Wow, times have changed in classrooms. When I went to school, you went to learn and be obedient. Now days, kids try to do what they want to do and not learn so that they can earn a living.

A story I have is that my son was in elementary school and he had had a problem of causing trouble because he was bored. Yes, he had completed the course work but not all the class had done so. The last time he got himself in trouble, his dad had to come to the school (military school overseas) and I went to school as well. I came up with a plan and that was that he had to write a letter of apology to the class and read it before them the next morning. I went to school to make sure that the letter was read. The class accepted his letter. He still talks about what I did to him and he is now 44 years old.

The moral here is that there are times that you have to do what is asked of you even if you don't want to do it and you learn just by being in the classroom and participating. You are in school to learn (your first JOB) and be a civilized human being that can be self-sufficient. As others have said, friends come and go. Learn to use your gut feelings to know the right crowd from the wrong crowd so that you don't go down the wrong path.

I wish you much luck and success in your future life. Make sure you get a good educational foundation so that you have options in life. As people would say to you, "If Tommy jumps off a cliff, are you going to follow and jump, too?" I hope you say you won't. The world does not owe you anything. You have to make your way and be successful.

the other S.
Mom of two adult children 41 and 44. They are both very successful people and live on their own in separate neighboring states.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Here if a kid is sick, they are sent to the office, parents are called, and it's handled. If there are substances involved, then that's a separate issue, and disciplinary action is taken.

You caused a scene by walking out to make a statement, in class.

The teacher is there to teach a class of students. If my kid was in that class, I'd be annoyed that the teacher had to stop teaching to deal with a student who was just making a point.

As for the teacher pulling you aside to give you advice - If you don't like the advice you don't have to take it. If you feel it was ill advised, then complain to your parents and/or the guidance counsellor.

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