How to Cope with Returning Back to Work

Updated on July 08, 2008
E.R. asks from Cicero, IL
6 answers

Hi Moms,

Here I am back to work after being off with my little princess for 3 1/2 months. I am feeling allot of different feelings from guilty, sad, anxiety, mad ect. This is the first time that I feel like this and I just don’t know how to cope with it. I have two other children ages 11 and 5 I never felt like this with them and I returned back to work within two months. I just don’t know how to handle this I really wanted to stay home but with the economy being so bad I am not able too, I am also the bread winner in my house. Please help me with any ideas on how to handle my situation thank you.

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for all of the support that I received. I did feel better after hearing that I am not the only one out feeling like this. I did visit the babysitter yesterday after work and I found my little princess very well taken care off. Everyone in the house loved having her there and I did feel all of the love coming from everyone there. I did sleep better last night thank you again.

More Answers



answers from Chicago on

Agree with finding a good child care situation you're comfortable with. That way you know your baby will be well cared for. What helped me was making sure evenings and weekends were reserved for family time so it lessened the amount of time I had to be away from/share my son.

This will get easier in time. Give yourself a break (and get some nice soft tissue to dry your tears) for a few days/weeks. And then do everything you can to abandon the guilt - it will only make you feel bad, not accomplish anything and will eek into the precious time your have with your children. Get rid of it and make the most of the time you do have together.

It WILL get easier. The transition is the most difficult part. Give yourself a break (and do something nice for yourself.)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Ah. Mama. I do understand. Some things that really helped me were:

For the first couple months- I was able to have my older daughter brought to me during lunch so I could see her and nurse her.

I also took wednesdays off for the first few years. It dropped my income a little but it made the return to work more bearable.

The other thing that helped was knowing that the daycare provider we chose was wonderful and loved my children and I knew that the more people who loved my chilren- the better.

I empathize!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I'm a full time working mom of two boys (3 and 10 months). I can tell you that THE most important thing for me is finding childcare that I'm 100% comfortable with. I've found that and knowing my boys are in good, loving, safe hands lessens the guilt. Notice, I said "lessens". Lol.



answers from Chicago on

E. -

looks like a lot of moms are in the same situation. One of the things I was able to negotiate when I went back to work from maternity leave is a transition period - 3 weeks where I would work 3 days in the office, 2 days at home. That helped so much because I was able to slowly get back into the groove of working...

Additionally, I'm hearing more and more moms have the flexibility of working from home. I unfortunately don't have that situation - but it's worthwhile to look for a company that entrusts you to work from home and meet your work obligations -

Good luck -



answers from Chicago on

I am also a working mom and the major breadwinner for my family. I think every working mom has to learn how to deal with the guilty feelings. You will find a way to feel better. Know that you are not alone.

You may be suffering from some post partum depression. I had a really bad case of it when my son was born. I spoke to my doctor and got medication and some counseling that helped a lot.



answers from Chicago on

Oh how I totally agree with the first two posts!

Doing your homework and research on childcare is a MUST! It will either put your mind to ease or make you a nervous wreck.

I felt guilty about leaving my precious son, with whom I had been with for nearly 9 months before returning to work, and I must say that it was a healthy decision for me to go back to work.

I remember the first time I dropped him off at daycare. He was only staying for an hour because we did a transition week. I left him there and just cried my eyes out. I felt like I was a horrible mother, like I was abandoning him, like there was NO ONE on this earth who could tend to my child like I could. I felt awful. When I returned, he was happily playing in the exersaucer while the teacher was reading him a book. Laughing, smiling, having a ball. Instantly I felt better. He made an immediate connection with his teacher, so much to the point where we jokingly called her "Grandma Karen". She loved snuggling babies so it was a perfect fit. In the meantime, I got back on the career track and had adult interaction that I had not realized I had missed so much.

I still sometimes feel guilty about my child being in daycare, but I realize that he is getting the best of both worlds. I spend plenty of time with him on the weekends and the evenings teaching, learning, and growing with him. But when he is in daycare, he is learning so much about being with other children, watching them use a spoon and fork and other fun things like that(so now he wants to do it too), being involved in fun, creative, artistic, musical activities that I would never have thought to do.

Everyone has to do what they have to do to support their family and of course it is natural to feel guilty about it. Just try to see the positives as well :) Good luck to you!

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