How to Answer?

Updated on January 19, 2012
D.F. asks from El Paso, TX
20 answers

Okay, I havent bought any baby stuff or have any baby stuff but a Pooh baby walker, which the baby wont use till walking is an option.
I dont know what the sex is of the baby till next month, or atleast there going to give it a guess.

My Mother In Law ask: What I need for the baby?

How do I answer that? I havent replyd back she txt me while I was sleepN last nitte. An I feel odd even suggesting anything.
Would it be fine if I say: Its too early to tell whats needed or to buy? Because I simply havent bought anything either lol!

I dont know I feel Im in a pickle lol!

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So What Happened?

I want to Thanx All you Moms for the wonderful advice, it really helpd.

Well let me start by answering: Just M. >Your right Im not use to my spouses family caring about me or my children, and I defenetly feel awkward accepting things.

An yes this is my 3child. An I didnt have much of anything with my daugthers. I dont have family an only very few friends. An I could only manage to buy what was NEEDED, an to do so I had to sneek $10 or $20 out of my Xhusbands wallet to buy anything. An like Ive mention his family doesnt like me or my daugthers. An I never expected anything from them and never will. All I had was a Bassinet and nothing else. Not even a baby carseat for both my daugthers. I do have carseats for them both now, in feb I got my youngest a carseat :-) So I really dont know what I need because Ive done without everything. I look at the baby regestry on Babys R Us an OMG there so many things I never even knew about or that I needed :-/

But thanxs alot Again. Ill be posting a new post on behalf of this one :-)

Featured Answers


answers from San Antonio on

I would just tell her that you're waiting until you know the gender before you buy anything, and that at this point you only have a walker.

That way she can either buy something that is gender neutral or wait until you know.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

Like others said, suggest non gendered item, or get a registry. And....walkers are not safe or good for baby's development orthopedic wise. I can't remember why but most have been taken off the market for that reason. I would take it bAck and get an exersaucer or jumperoo instead.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Los Angeles on

CONGRATULATIONS on having number 3 ! ! !

How do you respond?
"(her name), I love you. Thank you for asking. I just have a walker now and I won't know the baby's gender until next month. I really appreciate you're asking and how much you care about me and your grand child. I love you."

Good luck to you and yours.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Since this is your 3rd (4th?) what happened to your other stuff? Anyway, get rid of that walker. Just like bumpers, they are not reccomended for babies. I am a little confused by your question because since this is not your first, you would know what you really liked and what you didn't need from your other babies. Gender wont play a role in what you need except in clothes and possibly the bedding. Do not feel odd! She is going to buy you something because she loves you and doesn't want to waste money on something you don't actually need. Why not suggest that you both go together and start looking around at the baby store to get a better idea of what is available? How about a crib or a stroller?

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

If this is your first, you need a high chair, a booster seat for tables and yet another one (the kind that can fold up and travel with you) if you eat out much. You will also want a convertable stroller, convertible car seat, a play yard and or packn'play, safety gates and outlet covers (sooner than you it now...not after the kid is getting into everything as early as about 9 mos), an exer-saucer, a jumper, playmat, teethers, a good supply of crib sheets, crib pads (cut down on laundry), lots of onesies in every size up to a year old, and same with sleepers. Just be sure to go neutural in colors.

Be sure to get a good first aid kit, including both a rectal and temporal thermometer, clippers, bulb (for nose), humidifier is a must for colds, a really good diaper bag that's cute and can hold a ton. Breast pump and supplies both electric and manual (for emergencies) and so on. A bouncy chair is good and so is a bassinet during the early months.

As for putting MIL on hold, don't! You will need lots of things and it all costs a ton of money. People don't hold the offers out long, so strike while the iron ish hot. If you get along with her well and you have similar taste, go register together and if she starts buying stuff along the way, don't stop her! Especially if you're not having a shower, or the one you will have is going to be small.

Last but not least, do not make this mistake: Get rid of stuff when you think you're done. I have so many friends who thought they were done after #2 or 3 only to get a surprise! They all learned the hard way NO one gets a second shower, and people are never as generous as they were with baby #1. So choose the necessesities well! Pick classic and neutural designs that are well made and wash well, and take good care of everything by finding a good place to store them when you are done. If worse comes to worse, and you don't use it again, these things do not lose their vaue at second hand stores. It's an investment. Think of that as you shop and plan. Don't let gender of the baby hang you up. That is insignificant if you buy things they way you should...for quality and longevity...not color.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

It looks like from your previous posts you're not used to a family that cares about you and wants to help and feel awkward accepting things.. I may be way off base but it seems that way. Maybe tell her you havent brought anything yet so anything she offered would be great or if she wants to go out one afternoon with you to look at things you'd love to spend the time with her and have lunch too?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

YOu don't mention if this is your first baby. If it could use a lot! Not just things that are pink or blue, but things that every baby can enjoy.
A car seat
A high chair
A bouncy/vibrating chair
A mobile
Teether rings
Blankets for the floor (some of them have things the baby can grab or look at for tummy time)
A swing
Boppy (which I never used, but have heard good things about) if you will be nursing. Bottles if you will be formula feeding.
Circle seat (that's what we call it. The baby sits in the middle and there are a bunch of toys surrounding the baby. Great to have in the bathroom when you are showering!!)
I would tell your MIL some of those things. How great that she wants to help you guys out!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

Oh my! This list could be endless! Bottles, diapers, wipes, baby soap, mattress pads, stroller, jumperoo, swing, nursing accessories, Anything you need really, that doesnt need to be pink or blue. :)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on


Call her back and tell her that as soon as you know the sex, you will let her know.

If there are things that you can use that are not gender specific - then say you need Onesies or some other uni-sex item.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I would tell her you haven't got anything yet. In the "olden" days before ultra sounds were a regular part of the visits we didn't know what we were having until they popped out. We decorated with yellows or greens, generic things.

I would tell her if she wants to do something now she could start looking for a carseat that will fit in your vehicle. In my vehicle a convertible infant CARSEAT, not carrier, would not fit until I got a van. The height of it was to much to fit between the passenger seat and the back seat. It was too tall when it was laying down. But the infant carrier style seats are nice but pretty useless after about 6 months when the baby is getting bigger and wanting to sit up more. They also get too long for the infant seats quickly.

A convertible car seat is one that is tall, it faces the rear in the first year or so and then gets turned around and can be used the entire time until they go into a backless booster. I loved it instead of the infant carrier that the little guys grow out of within a few months. You only need one and it can be expensive since she has time to save up.

I liked having a carrier when I went to places like Walmart but once I got the hang of just using a full size stroller I did better. I plopped the baby in the lay down seat of the stroller and then just used the basket on the bottom to put the groceries in and the cover on top as a shelf for soft stuff like bread or clothes. That way I didn't get too much to have to carry and I could push the stroller everywhere.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Why don't you just be honest with her and tell her you don't have ANYTHING yet so you need everything. I don't know how pregnant you are, but if you were my DIL pregnant with my grandchild, I would want to start early buying things so I could help you out as much as possible. Also, don't feel weird about her buying things for the baby. I know you'll feel funny if she spends a lot of money, but being a grandma myself I know how much joy I get from buying things for my grandkids and seeing them use it. There is no reflection at all whatsoever on the parents or their financial status or anything else. It is simply one of the joys of being a grandma! Don't do your MIL out of that feeling!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Albany on

I always felt uncomfortable too when suggesting gifts to my MIL (now ex-MIL). I didn't want to seem like I was asking for too much. I've gotten better with it though- I'll give her a few options so ultimately the choice is hers to make and I know we'll all be happy in the end. As for your particular situation, I would thank her for wanting to help out and suggest some items that aren't gender specific- diapers, bottles or breastfeeding equipment (depending on what you need), onesies, towels, pajamas, bathtub, etc. Do you need an exersaucer, swing, playmat, bassinet or pack-n-play.Those can all be gender neutral. I would give her a few ideas for now and, I believe someone else also suggested it, pick a day the two of you can go to a baby store together and pick out baby gear. I would definitely tell her how much you appreciate her help and that once you find out the sex of the baby, you'll have a better idea of what you'll need.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I'd say you have enough time, but that kind of depends on how long it will take you to save up for the things you'll need.

You will need help getting stuff for the baby and if your mother in law is asking it's because she wants to help. It's more or less standard these days to have a baby shower where people buy gifts especially for your first baby.

I suggest going to babies r us or or and creating a registry. It will walk you through, step-by-step the things you need to register for.

It can be overwhelming, for sure. You don't know what you need until you need it.

If you plan on having more than one child, I'd say go ahead and maybe start investing in some gender neutral items (swing, bouncer, bathtub, crib and mattress, pack n play, changing table and pad, stroller, car seat) Then, when you find out what you're having, you can buy clothes and blankets and bedding. A registry will help you figure out what is necessary and you can tell people when they ask what you need where you are registered. That way they can decide how much they want to spend and you don't suggest items that might be too expensive.

There are also lists online that suggest how many onesies, blankets, etc you will probably need if you feel overwhelmed.

Happy Baby!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

I'm guessing this is your first. Just let your MIL know that you aren't really sure and you want to wait on some things until you know the baby's gender. Ask her to help you make a list (since she's obviously already a mom). Maybe you, your MIL and your mom could all get together for lunch and make a list of things you'll be needing. Also, don't forget that there may be a baby shower in your future!


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dover on

Doy you have the basic stuff from your girls (crib, high chair, etc)? Those are things that can be reused regardless of the baby's sex. If you don't have those things, those are things that can be bought without knowing the sex.

I would tell you MIL that right now, we have a walker and "whatever you know you can reuse from the girls". Tell her that you know you are going to need onesies, sleepers, diapers, wipes and other basics. Reminder her that unless she's looking for gender neutral items, she should probably wait until your ultrasound next month. Sounds like she's trying to help and is possibly excited to have a new grandbaby.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

Well, not exactly what you ask but it took me a few years to see how grate it was.
When my first was about to born I didn't have much money, my aunt made me a diaper babyshower, I wasn't to exited about it because in my mind I would have rather the cute presents, she did ask the guest to get different size diappers, and a few people got me more then just the diapers but I did got A LOT of diapers.
with my second I got a lot of presents and a LOT of clothes for my girl, so many that for months I felt so uncomfortable to buy anything I liked because I already have much, most of it wasn't my taste at all but I have it so.

Looking back, I loved the diaper thing because those ones get very expensive, you always need them, they don't go bad, they are not girl or boy thing, and I could use any money I had to buy things "I" liked.

When my daughters get pregnant I would want to buy some baby stuff, but also I would be buying some diapers here and there for the baby.

I think is a great idea until you know the sex and what you need, just not sure if it is something a MIL would like?

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Savannah on

What I did: we registered at Babies R Us for basics that all babies need, and they have a little checklist that can help you out with all that. You can even do that online. Obviously, there's a lot of "stuff" that you just really don't need that are listed, but since you've had 2 children before, I'm sure you have an idea what you needed, didn't need, or really wished you had. We actually just used ours as a personal shopping list / checklist and didn't tell everyone we were registered (just my mom who bought us some small decor items we'd picked out, due to her finances). Even if I registered for something but bought something similar at say, Target, for a better price, it was my list and I was able to go online and check it off as purchased. Things like a baby bathtub, some infant care items, a change pad, maybe a changing table (which we actually got from craigslist for $20, but still put it on our "checklist"), some sort of bed situation (be it a cradle, portacrib, crib, pack and play, whatever) and the mattress, those things are going to be needed whether it's a boy or girl. Get some of that listed and out of the way.

Then you have some things to start acquiring bit by bit, and a list someone can see if they want to know what to buy. On the registry there's room for comments at the top which could be something like "we're holding off on choosing gender specific decor until we find out if the baby is a boy or girl". Then you can go back after you know the sex and decide if you "WANT" blues or pinks or lavenders......or if you'd be happier with greens, yellows, or whatever the heck you want, then you can choose bedding, receiving blankets, etc. and the comments on top of your registry can be changed to "It's a ___! We are looking for a ___ theme" (or whatever).

Sounds like your mil may be excited and wanting to show support for your baby and of course she wants to be a part of it. If she's local and you get along, perhaps you could even ask her to come with you to look at things? I don't know your situation there, but those are my thoughts.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Tell her you haven't even bought anything yet--except a walker, and you are waiting to find out girl or boy.
Someone below mentioned this is your 3rd, so I'd assume you don't need crib, high chair, pack & play etc. Maybe mention some onesies, towels & washcloths, bath things, nail clippers--whatever you don't still have from the others. In my experience, you can never have enough crib sheets and light receiving blankets, baby wash cloths and diapers!
So could you say: "I have the major things from the other kids, maybe some onesies, sheets or socks & t-shirts?"

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Lakeland on

They make plenty of items that can be used for either a boy or a girl. I think you would be better off getting some stuff that is gender netural, so you can use it again. Do you have a crib, changing table, sheets, towels, wash cloths etc.? I wouldn't worry about getting toys just yet, but maybe ask her for ideas if you haven't gotten anything.
Maybe make a day together and go to Babies R Us or another store to look at baby items. I am sure she is exicited about being a grandmother and wants to get stuff too.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Victoria on

Tell her what you have then let her decide. Dont feel weird and accept all the love an gifts that come your babys way. its really her pride for the child she is wanting to express...not so much helping you out! :D its a great thing.

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