Argh!!!
I am teaching an honors level, COLLEGE class and have two students who are a couple. They come in late, whisper in the back and hang all over each other. Today while I was lecturing the girl had her arm around the guy, was twisting his hair and playing with his ear....I was sort of stunned and interrupted in my train of thought. I asked to speak with both of them, explained that such behavior had no place in a college classroom and that it was a perception problem...that is people will judge them (her) on the behavior and that judgement in an academic setting would be negative. She argued back saying she was leaning on him because she could not see and when I said she should move her seat, she said there were not seats in the front left because she came in late. I lost it at this point as said "Then be on time. Are you really going to debate me on this?" So, she is pissed; he is pissed and I am pissed. I do not want to deal with this glued at the hip couple for the rest of the semester. Any advice from teachers or anyone else. BTW I was very gentle at the beginning and said things like : "I think you do not realize you are doing this." and "You are both so smart and this changes how people perceive you." I wanted to say that this is not junior high and you are not 13, but I did hold my tongue. Help!!!
your comments are great. I can now see that my trying to use reason I made things subjective and that opened it up for debate. I was trying to be gentle when I should have just gone with my gut instinct. It is always a balancing act. On one hand I am the boss. On the other hand, I need to create a cohesive group. I do also have the feeling that no matter what I had said, there would have been push back. I have to say that I must be getting older because I never would hav spoken to my professors the way that some of my student speak to me. Makes me want to retire because I do not see it changing for the better.
How about, "PDAs or touching other students in any sort of way is not allowed in my classroom, as it is disrespectful to me and to the other students. Please don't let it happen again or I will have to ask you to leave." Short and simple, matter of fact. Yes, my goodness they should know better, but I'd give one warning. If no one has ever told them their behavior annoys other people, they are probably oblivious.
I totally agree with wickerparkgirl. Don't beat around the bush, don't be subjective. You messed up by letting the conversation get into a debate of sorts.
"Joe, and Sally. I need to speak to the two of you."
"There is no touching in this class. It's unprofessional and inappropriate.
"Got it?
"Great. See you next week."
Jeez! Well, you've privately implored them to stop and they haven't so at this point it sounds like they need some public shaming so that they "get it." Next time they start going at it in class, stop, call them both out by name and say, "I can see that you both greatly admire one another. Please step outside to continue the admiration. Otherwise, keep your hands to yourselves and focus on the material that I'm presenting or you WILL be asked to leave."
I agree that they sound very immature. If I'd had an instructor in college have to pull me aside for something like this, I would have died right on the spot! And never done it again, that's for sure.
There was a couple that did that in my college music theory class. My professor simply said one day, "This classroom is for learning, not for making out during class. If you want to do that, leave."
There wasn't much of a problem like that again, at least in his class. But if they ever started getting closer, my professor would call on them and ask them question after question. They hated that.
You have a right to expect a certain behavior in your class.
This is like their job right now and you are the boss. If they did this behavior at work they could be fired..
It is just not appropriate and is distracting while you are attempting to do your job.
They need to grow up.. I am appalled she would argue with you on this.. She sounds incredibly immature.
Don't make it about how others will perceive them.... that's subjective and kind of irrelevant. The actual issue is that they are behaving inappropriately and unprofessionally. Next time she leans over, stop teaching and ask if anyone is willing to switch seats with her since she has indicated she is having trouble seeing.
The other thing you can do is go stand in between them and lecture.
You can also say out loud, students are not allowed to touch other students during class.
Your school should have a policy that backs this, so go to the administration and get a copy.
Good luck.
Do you have an "Expectations" contract? I had to sign one for each of my courses it included arriving to class 5min early - if you are late you are not allowed in the class, what you are expected to bring (tools each class required different ones), your bahaivor in class - some did not mind gum or drinks some did. I can see where everyone would think that this is "babying" them, however I have never been hired to a job with out going thru a hand book and signing it agreeing to their "Code of Conduct" that included dress code, and what behaivors were expected of me. In addition, how can you play the game if you do not know the rules? If you have not created one maybe it is time to do so and continue this as part of your syllubus (sp) each semester. I had a friend who was taking business courses and her professor expected them to arrive daily in business casual and for tests business dress - points were removed for not being able to follow the dress code. In addition assigned seating is never bad, this allows you to learn your student's names/habits better and faster making for a more successful semester - seat them apart.
When I teach (TA, granted)... I don't make it about them. If it's about them, they can argue. I make it about me. :) It annoys me, and you'll be asked to leave OR I'm going to stop the lecture and start filming you &/or get other people to start filming you and providing the voiceovers. It doesn't matter what you're ACTUALLY doing... if you LOOK like you're snogging, glomming, having sex, whatever... it distracts me. So I'm either going to remove the distraction or have fun with it.
I have a whole list of warnings at the beginning of the quarter (including things like: if your phone goes off I WILL answer it and start talking with whomever is calling/texting, PLEASE leave it on! Unfortunately, it gets around rather quickly that I'm serious about this, so phones are off in my class except for people who arrange ahead of time for emergency types).
Mostly the series of warnings is an icebreaker on syllabus day, but I'm quite serious about them.
I avoid any problems with booting people by not requiring attendance.
I also teach college and once had this problem with a couple of high school kids who were taking the class for college credit. Let them know that as of immediately, there is no touching allowed in your class whether it pertains to them or anyone else. You might even want to put that in your syllabus next time. You could say that this has to be an across the board policy since touching between two students could be construed as sexual harassment (even though they are both willing participants).
Then let them know that what they do on their own time is their business, but in your classroom, you need to maintain a professional environment. Part of maintaining a professional environment is having students behave the same way they are expected to behave in a work setting (for their benefit and everyone elses.)
Maybe you should assign them seats at the front of the class on opposite sides of the room if they can't keep their hand off each other.
I don't care what anyone says like, "Oh, older generations always think younger ones are worse..." NO. FOR REAL. The younger ones ARE worse right now. Big time. They are entitled and spoiled and I also would have never fathomed speaking to a parent, professor or boss the way "young adults" do now. It's pathetic. Modern parents pass off permissive parenting as raising kids with "confidence to question authority" (because it gave them a pass on having to enforce discipline) but rarely do I see it play out in anything more than bad manners for their immature spawn as adults.
I think you should report those two a-holes and have a higher-up separate them and contact their parents. Put your complaint in writing and have a copy sent to mommy and daddy who are probably paying through the nose for their brats to go be little snots in college. You tried to be nice. They're jerks.
I agree with Riley. Have a meeting with them briefly at start of next class (or next time they start to cuddle), and use one of the "I" statements about what you will do. "I will stop teaching and x the next time you do it." Good luck!
High school and middle school teachers assign seats. In college you usually dont have to. You are the teacher, you are the authority figure. Assign them seats on opposite sides of the classroom.
Tell them you think it's very sweet they can still act like they are in Middle School and that you think they should "hang on to 16 as long as you can..." " But in Middle school they have assigned seats." Maybe assign seats for everyone and let the other students harass them for it.
As I read your question my first answer was- good grief...then I realzed you teach at a college, not an honors college LEVEL class at a high school! Then the next thought that came to me was to possibly ignore the behavior for a bit and then the next time something happens, without stopping what you are intstructing, just ask, "Do you two need to get a room?" or the like! :)
It's pretty bad, but sometime peer pressure and embarassment do work!
I'm currently a stay at home mom, but do have a degree in K-8 in MN and while teaching the junior high level I do know that peer pressure worked a lot of the time!
Good luck!
If they're going to act like kids, maybe you should treat them like kids and tell them that they can't sit together. I don't know if that's possible in a college classroom, but it's all I can think of.
If you can't separate them and it's causing a distraction, maybe a talk with their academic counselor would help.
Don't coddle them - that's how my generation has ended up the way we are ;) At this point, you should not have to explain a ground rule. If they do it again, follow through. I wouldn't try to embarass them - I would keep it professional and straight forward. This is the rule, this is the consequence. If they do it again, tell them to leave. Maybe as a bonus they'll drop the class.
see the way i see it is yeah this isnt junior high its college these people are adults if they wana waste their time and money and do that in class not pay attention and not do well theyre the ones who will have to deal with the concequences not you
I dont think their behavior is appropriate. If they continue to do it, I would just ask them to leave. You already spoke to them, end of discussion. It's probably also distracting for other students as well.
I think you should be firm- YOU are the boss and that is totally immature and inappropriate behavior at the college level.
In regards to your SWH, I totally agree. I just started back at school after being off for nearly ten years. I am taking two online courses from an ivy league school and my professors are EXTREMELY qualified- like ten times more qualified than the professors I had at state school IN a classroom at my previous university. I am utterly amazed at the disrespect with which students use toward the professors in their emails (that they constantly copy to the WHOLE class). After reading some of them, I only hope for the professors' sakes, that there is some sort of consequence for insubordination.
If their behavior continues, can you report them to the dean? I would also make sure to document your "talk" in writing, just in case they try to play dumb and say they "didn't know" their behavior made you uncomfortable. Good luck!
