How Soon Can I Really Get Pregnant??!!!!

Updated on July 23, 2008
K.E. asks from Lewiston, ID
14 answers

Hello ladies,

In the beginning of October this year I gave birth to twin boys, however they were born only at 19 weeks, and did not survive. My doctor advised me to wait 6 months to get pregnant again, but I just ache to hold a little one again! I feel normal, and I don't see any reason why I couldn't support a pregnancy. I'm just wondering if any of you ladies ever had a miscarriage this far into pregnancy, and turned right around and got pregnant. What were the effects you experienced? What I'm mostly afraid of is that I will get another infection(that is what caused me to miscarry the babies-chorioamnionitis). I would appreciate any advice. Thank you all.

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V.C.

answers from Seattle on

Sweet K.

don't be so hard on yourself! You have just been through a traumatic experience of losing not one but two babies. Your body, heart and psyche need to heal before you jump into pregnancy again.

Remember that your family suffered the loss too, not only losing the babies but seeing your sorrow. My advice! Take some time for yourself and your family. Dylan and Bethan need their mother more than they need a brother or sister at this point.

Love and Light

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A.C.

answers from Eugene on

First of all I am very sorry for your loss. I have never had a miscarriage, but I have to assume the Dr. told you to wait 6 months so that way he could be sure that the infection is completly healed as are you. I know you want to hold a lil one, but I think waiting might be better for you as you might have a bette chance of carrying to term if you do to make sure there is no infection.

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B.P.

answers from Seattle on

Hi K.,

First, I would like to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. What a heartbreaking thing to go through.. I wish you the best for your physical and emotional recovery.

Second.. I had a miscarriage a few years ago at 18 weeks which was medically uneventful and complete. I did not need a d&c. I was told by midwife and her ob partner that because I did not require a d&c, I could begin trying to conceive as soon as I felt up to it.. however, sometimes the dissapointment of miscarriage can be overwhelming.. especially at that gestation and especially coupled with the dissapointment of not conceiving right away afterward that women can sometimes get really, really depressed.. I was told to watch for symptoms of depression that are beyond "grief".. If you did have a d&c - you should wait at least two weeks to have sex or use tampons or take baths in the tub - this reduces the risk of infection.
Your cycles will be a little haywire.. probably for at least 3 months.. so charting for conception (if you do that) may be difficult..

Best of luck to you!

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J.G.

answers from Anchorage on

There are more reasons than just your physical health to wait. If you had those babies to term.. you would wait longer to get pregnant again... and you carried these babies almost halfway. The doctor is a doctor for a reason and he/she has his/her reason for asking you to wait.. and there is more to consider than your physical well-being.. and consider the emotional state of your husband and your other children. Everyone needs time to heal physically and emotionallly. Your husband and your kids may feel left out and second rate so make sure you let them know you love them and spend time with them.. together and one on one.

Be good to your body and take care of it.. let it heal and be in the best shape - physicallly and emotionally for the next baby or babies you carry.

with warm regards and best wishes for a healthy/happy family..

JG

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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

I've had 2 miscarriages that late in pregnancy(1 earlier as well.)I got pregnant with my daughter now 4 3 months after the first miscarriage at 18weeks. There were no reasons given for any miscarriage I've ever had, so while my body did what it did for whatever reason, I didn't know the risks of what another pregnancy would do. The pregnancy with my daughter went perfectly fine and "normal." I delivered her early but that is my body's predisposition. I know you're not supposed to in order to give your body a chance to recover from all the trauma a pregnancy and subsequent miscarraige causes. Considering you have a reason why you miscarried your twins, of which I feel so incredibly sorry for your loss, it would be your best bet to follow your doctor's orders on this one. I am not familiar with the condition you had that caused things to happen but I hope for your sake, both mentally and physically, you'll take a moment to rest. I know how much you can ache, yearn for a new little one, but is it worth risking a possible loss because you chose not to wait? I am so sorry you are going through this though. Hopefully you can successfully have another little one soon. Talk to your doctor about the reasons why you need to wait, and about your desires to have another.

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D.D.

answers from Portland on

My deepest sympathies to you... How wonderful it is that you feel ready and willing to move on so soon.
I lost my first son at 21 weeks gestation. I ended up needed a D&E, which is a bit more complex than just a D&C. I got pregnant with my next child 7 months later and had several complications from the surgery that I had. It made my cervix "incompetent" and every pregnancy after I had to have a Cerclage (Stitch to hold the cervix closed) because of pre-term labor issues.
Because of my 1st pregnancy and the cervix issues I was hospitalized 4 times with the 2nd pregnancy, 2 times with the 3rd, Once with the 4th and Once with the last. My advice is to at least wait 3 months, visit with the doctor again and open a discussion about your wishes with them. I'm sure they will give you the go-ahead if it's safe to.
Good Luck!

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E.K.

answers from Portland on

So sorry for your loss. I really don't have any experience in becoming pregnant after a loss so far along. I have experienced several miscarages, 14 weeks was my longest. Unfortunately, due to other factors I didn't get pregnant for 6 years after that pregnancy. Then suffered several other early losses (9 & 10wks) Then I did have another miscarage at aprox 10wks in Dec 02 and got pregnant in Jan 03 again and had a Daughter in Sept 03. (with no cycle between) I had a very normal, uneventful pregnancy. Went on to have a second daughter born in 1/06. So I know it can be done, but it's best to follow your doctors advise.

E.

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M.L.

answers from Anchorage on

K.,

I am so very sorry for your loss.When I was just about 9 months preg my sister went into labor (ended up being placenta abruption and cord prolapsed) 16 wks early.Her daughter lived for 9 days. That was the hardest thing I have EVER went thru in my life..it tore me apart to know I was going to have a perfectly healthy baby and she wasn't. My sister was told to wait AT LEAST a year before even thinking/trying to get pregnant again so I guess I don't see waiting 6 months that big.I know the ache to hold a baby in your arms though.I would be sure to talk to your dr further about the subject and see what she has to say before doing so though since it should be sure that your body is completely healed and ready for another pregnancy.Good luck and I hope u get a happy/healthy lil bundle of joy someday.

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D.O.

answers from Portland on

My heart goes out to you.
Your scenario takes me back 17 years. I too had a twin boy pregnancy loss at 19 weeks, the same course-infection, postpartum hemorrhage, D & C etc etc.
My heart was broken and I remember how badly I wanted another child. My doc also said wait 6 months. I didn't necessarily wait, but my next baby was conceived about 5 months later, despite my desire to have things happen sooner.

I think the rationale is to allow your body to heal. However, after a 6 week healing period all should be okay physically to try conception (as would be acceptable following a term pregnancy).I have also had a 12 week loss, and believe or not had only one menstrual cycle and conceived child #3.
So, my best advise is make sure you have healed physically and emotionally and look forward to your next healthy pregnancy.

There is hope after miscarriage.

Take care,
D.

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B.K.

answers from Anchorage on

So sorry for your loss... I recently lost (October 17) a daughter that was born at 23 weeks and a few days. I had a placenta abruption and ended up with a partial hystorectomy. She would have been my sixth baby,my 3rd girl, and my 6th csection. She was the first pregnancy I ever had any type of problem with.

I would suggest making sure you are talking to someone I would wait a little while a few months at least.

I got pregnant with my daughter I lost 3 weeks ago after having a baby boy just 6 weeks before I got pregnant and with so many csections I was told with the boy that I shouldnt have another baby but I got pregnant anyway. (It wasnt planned but measures werent take to NOT get pregnant again) But I believe if I would have waited a few months I would have been ready... I had never had any of the children so close together.

I would definatly wait... I know what you mean by wanting to hold a baby. I want to have another baby badly too but now I cant.

I hope you find someone to talk to and you get yourself together. and I hope you are able to have a baby soon.

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K.E.

answers from Spokane on

K.,

I am so sorry for your loss. As someone who works in healthcare, I wanted to let you know some things. First, it can be natural to want to become pregnant again, however your body needs time to heal and balance itself hormonally. The time frame for this is different for each person. Second, for infection/health issues with subsequent pregnancy early and consistant ob care is the best way. Your OB and his/her nurse is there for you, for any questions or concerns you have (that's what they are paid for :)). Lastly, I would like to stress it is important to feel physically okay to conceive, your body has to be ready to sustain/support another pregnancy.
I truely hope things work out for you and your family. Keep your chin up.

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K.

answers from Anchorage on

Krisit - I am very sorry for your loss. That must have been devastating. I can understand wanting to be pregnant again and have some happiness to look forward to. I would discuss this with your doctor. The uterine lining can take a while to fully regenerate after a pregnancy and a pregnancy too early may not implant correctly and miscarry. Also, your doctor may be concerned about the infection and want to ensure a healthy uterus for your next baby. The last thing you want is to experience another loss if it can be prevented. Good luck to you

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C.M.

answers from Medford on

I can hear the ache in your question. I am so very sorry for your loss! My prayers are with you and your family as you continue to grieve.

I know that you want to hold a baby in your arms again but take your Drs advice and wait. You may feel fine but women have complicated bodies and you would feel terrible to find that you contracted the same infection with the next pregnancy because you jumped the gun. And although you think you "feel" fine remember our minds are even more complicated than our bodies and we need to give ourselves time to sort through everything before we add more.

I pray that you find peace in whatever decision you make!

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

Hi K.,

I'm amazed at your readiness to conceive and bear another child/children. I too miscarried. Halleluyah, I realized that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. So whatever the reason for the onset of the infection, it was not yet time for you to raise twins. I do not try intentionally to prevent the hand of God working in my life, so whether or not I conceive it is to His glory, He is the one who opens and closes the womb.

I worked with a midwife on my second pregnancy but didn't actually meet with her until I was six months. I was educated enough for my first pregnancy about what to eat and not, when to rest, monitor the baby's movements, and take pregnancy vitamins. Halleluyah, God is faithful. It was about a month later that I conceived again. Without having the shot for being Rh neg. And I began spotting at about 8 weeks. I annointed with oil and prayed for, and the spotting stopped that evening. HALLELUYAH. With God all things are possible. And He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

May the Lord bless you according to His perfect will for your life, and carefully knit a beautiful child in your womb for you to love and nurture and raise in righteousness.

Shalom,
M.

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