How Should House Bills Be Divided?

I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, but every married couple I have ever personally known who keep their finances separate have ended up separate.

My husband and I have always combined our incomes into one checking account and pay all bills from that account. I used to make a lot more money than he did and now he makes more than me, but we never divided expenses based on how much we make.

Early in our marriage, we went to a marriage counselor for many different issues, not just finances, but regarding finances our counselor said that she and her husband had 3 checking accounts. One joint and one for each of them for their own personal things. They divided the money equally though. Not based on who made more. So they combined the money, put enough in the joint account to take care of all household and other daily expenses and then had an "allowance" they each put in their own accounts to do with what they wanted. We've really not done anything like that 'cause we've never had any issues with one spouse spending on things the other disagrees with.

I am of the belief that once we are married, his income is my money and mine is his and there is no separation between the two. Part of being married is negotiating and compromising about what we spend our money on. If we can't agree, maybe we weren't compatible enough to get married to begin with. Probably a minority view, I know, but that's how we handle our finances.

Good luck!

My husband and I have both of our checks directly deposited into a joint checking account. After all the bills are paid each week we talk about how much should be moved into savings and then how much we have to play with. My best friend and her husband separate their money. They are always fighting over who makes more and who has to pay what and who gets to play with this and that. She is always complaining about how he says he's the "bread winner" in the family and he should get to have more play money...it's terrible. I don't think any relationship can survive that type of arrangement.

My husband and I have a joint checking account and we opperate as a team. All the money we have is OUR money and it all goes toward bills and purchases as needed.

I am with everyone else - it is all joint for us. My parents do it a little differently, something you might consider. They have three checking accounts! All paychecks go into their main account, and all bills are paid out of that. They then take an agreed upon amount each month and put that equal amount into their individual accounts. That is their money to do with what they please. They do the same with three credit cards. One is shared for household purchases, and they each have one of their own that is paid out of their individual checking accounts. Grocery bills are out of the main account, but lunches and luxuries (like Starbucks) are individual. It is kind of funny to hear them bicker about who is paying for coffee sometimes, but it seems to work for them.

R., I totally agree with the previous responders. You are a married couple. All of your money should be in a joint account and budgeted accordingly.

Don't play the yours and mine game. You'll end up divorced and you'll never prosper financially.

I've been a SAHM for 12 years and NEVER once has this been an issue.

We put all our money into one checking account and pay the bills from that. We did that when I was working and continue now that I'm a SAHM with no income. I never would have thought to divide the bills personally. Maybe you can pay percentages? For example, together, you make $2874 a month. You bring in 44% of that, so you pay 44% of all the bills. If rent is $889 like you said, you pay $391 which is 44% and he pays the 56 %.

We personally don't believe in separating the bills. It doesn't make sense to us. We took vows that our two lives become one. There is no reason to separate things. You are one entity now, which means you don't compare who brings what and who does more for the family. That's not healthy in a relationship. It doesn't sound like you do that at all, but it sounds like you may be starting to. I would just look at it like this: Can you live off of what you both currently make together? If so, then there should be no reason to worry.

In our household, we know that since I decided to be a SAHM my husband is definitely paying more of the bills than I am, but that's never a topic of discussion or an issue. We do struggle, but it's a decision we made together for me to stay home. Even when I was working we never divvied up our payments. Don't stress your relationship like that. Maybe just talk to your husband and see what he thinks about you staying home versus working. Listen to him and follow his lead. Whatever he thinks would be best for your family. . . Good luck!!

2 checks, 1 account 1 family.. thats if you want to stay together.. why should it be divided? i know a few families that do it that way and i cant see them staying together much longer!

R.,

I agree with the majority. You should have an ours mentality not a his and mine. Statistics show that those who keep their finances separate are more likely to separate themselves.

It sounds like you're doing well in the grocery budget. $420 for 7 for food means that you're doing some home cooking. This is a contribution to the family that saves lots of money. The cleaning and child care is also a huge money saver. The difference in what you'd make and spend differently if you worked may work out to you losing money. Staying a home is a noble endeavor. Never feel that you aren't contributing. Look for more ways to save money on groceries. I comparison shop and get the best produce prices every week. I got potatoes and onions for 20 cents a lb last week.

However, I see a few things missing in your budget. Kids grow, so you'll need clothes. Budget and save for that every month even if you don't need to buy any this month. Car repairs as well. You know they are coming, save now. Car insurance payments, too. Christmas and medical are big, save for these all year. All these things and more should be a part of your monthly budget.

I've got a few budget forms I can send you. They're from a guy named Dave Ramsey. (www.daveramsey.com) He focuses on getting out of debt, but he has great budgeting advice. I recommend his financial peace university. He's got great ideas. He says that I can give you any budget and financial forms so long as I don't sell them.

We also have a joint checking and savings and pay all our bills together. I am not sure how you go about changing that arrangement after you have been doing it the that way. But I would tell your husband that you are not happy about the way it has been going and you want some changes.

Hi R.. I do not believe for one minute just because your married you have to have a joint checking account. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have tried several different ways of handling the household income and bills. We've tried having a joint account, then we tried each having our own accounts and a household account where we put a portion of our check into this account to pay all bills and groceries. Then about 5 years we just went to each of us having our own checking and savings accounts. We sat down, made a list of all of the household bills that we had. We decided who would pay what bill so that in the end we would end up with roughly the same amount of money left over. Any of my own personal cc, I paid myself and my husband did the same. If there was something I wanted, I paid for it and so on. We have discovered for us, doing it this way, we end up having so much more money than we ever did before. We manage our money better. We have more money in our savings accounts. We also don't fight over money. I don't ask my husband what he spends his money on, and he doesn't ask me. As long as our respective bills are getting paid and there is food on the table, it shouldn't matter.

I agree with what the majority of these women wrote. Before I got married to my husband, we did pre-marital counseling through our church. This was fundamental in discussing our ideas about money and the handling of money. The facilitators of this course emphasized money is one of the biggest reasons marriages break up.

Therefore we made a decision before we even married to put "our" money in a joint account. We did make transfers to other accounts from there to money market/ investment accounts, IRAs, savings, etc. after these deposits though. This way we are both aware of the money that was being transferred and being "used" for other purposes. In some cases these are individual accounts that the spouse cannot access, but I gave my husband access to view as I had no secrets about my spending.

My aunt recently lost her husband of more than 50 years. They had always maintained separate accounts because he had a spending habit that she couldn't tolerate. They had always divvied up the household bills and each paid them accordingly. They also had 3 joint credit cards that she thought had been closed years ago by mutual agreement. Little did she know until his death though is that he had maxed out all 3 credit cards again. She was on the hook for $75K in outstanding bills he had incurred on these cards since she was a co-signer.

This speaks to another issue altogether but emphasizes that you and your spouse should speak together about your finances jointly. My husband and I have a touch base every two weeks or so to discuss where we are financially to both feel involved. We jokingly call it our bi-weekly Financial Summit but it really is an important meeting. We also have an agreement that if we are going to spend MORE than say $200 on you, we give the other one a head's up to let them know we are spending that money. That way the joint budget is not thrown off kilter. This $200 limit is just an abitrary number, it might be $50, $500, or $2000 in your family's budget, but discuss it as a couple. This way, if I decide to spend anything below $200 on myself for the month, I don't really give him a head's up- it is my own little allowance built into our monthly budget.

Good luck and keep communicating with your spouse about "OUR" money.