How Old Were Your Children When They Started Brushing Their Own Teeth?

Updated on January 14, 2012
A.S. asks from Glendora, CA
22 answers

We still brush our children's teeth for them twice a day and floss daily. They are almost 8, 6 and 3. My 3 and 6 year old have already each had one cavity despite the fact that they (honestly) rarely have fruit snacks, candy, juice etc and they have never had soda. I am very strict with it. They were off the bottle before 1 year of age and have no obvious "reason" to have gotten these cavities. I was devastated by it. My husband has horrible teeth and I have never had a cavity so idk if the younger two got his teeth and my oldest got mine or what. I have so many friends whose children have brushed their own teeth since a very young age and they do not have any cavities and it makes me sad. I would like to let my older kids brush on their own (and they do know how to brush properly because we have them do it before we do it) but I feel like, if the younger ones have already had a cavity even WITH us religiously brushing and flossing their teeth (and I mean we still do even if they fall asleep in the car on the way home and it is late etc and we floss for them every single day as well) then what will happen if they don't do as good of a job as we do? How old were your kiddos when they started brushing their teeth and has anyone been through doing "everything right" yet still having their child get a cavity?

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

2.

I dont have time to brush all the time. about once a week I give them a good scrub. also-i buy those floss sticks-so they can floss by them selves.

K.J.

answers from New Orleans on

Lol....I still brush my kids teeth. And they are 2 in a half,4 in a half and 5 in a half. I worried about them getting a cavity or catvities. None yet. They want to brush their own teeth and sometimes I have to tell myself they gotta learned how to do this. But I still go back and rebrush them again. :) I guess I'm so OCD!!! ;)

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My husband's family has HORRIBLE teeth as kids, and bad teeth as adults (but nowhere near as bad as the baby teeth). We've put over 15k into my husband's mouth in the past 10 years, and he has 6k worth of work in front of him. The kids in his side of the family usually need to get their teeth pulled almost as soon as they come in. They're "mushy" and are completely rotten inside of 6mo of erupting. (They don't "feel" mushy... but the dentin doesn't form correctly in his side of the family. They have to wait for their adult teeth. It's a dominant gene. Only about 1:4 kids in his side of the family manage to avoid having their teeth yanked. Before modern dentistry, those kids usually died of massive infection from the abscesses.))

I was hoping and praying my son got "my" teeth.

We were at the dentist like white on rice as soon as kiddo's teeth erupted. His dentin was good to go. Yay! When I asked about the whole bottle thing, this is what I was told not to fret... that in over 60 years of practice he'd never seen a kid get a cavity from milk sugar. Brush, go to bed with a bottle of milk, and brush again in the morning. So that's what we did. For years and years. Bottle until 3ish, sippy until 5ish, mugs until the present day. He eats sweets, soda, fruits, fruit juice.

My son doesn't have cavities because of something I DID, my son doesn't have cavities because he got good genes.

My neices and nephews don't have bad teeth because of something their parents did... they have bad teeth because those are the genes they got stuck with.

You can't fix GENES. It's not anything you did wrong. It's just genetics. His side of the family has bad teeth.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

My BIL is a dentist. He told me parents should be brushing until the age of seven or eight. He said that kids just don't quite have the dexterity to do it properly on their own. So my six year old brushes first. Our toothpaste dispenser plays music for two minutes, so he knows how long he needs to brush. Then I come in a brush his teeth a second time. We have the same routing with our three year old. But while she is brushing we still have to remind her the entire time where she needs to brush. And the other posters are right, you can't change genes. They are what they are.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is 4 and brushes herself, but I still finish up. No cavities yet.

My friend has a daughter the same age who has already had several. Unfortunately, both parents have soft enamel, Dad is worse, and it looks like daughter inherited it from Dad. And they are religious about brushing and flossing, no sticky sugary stuff, etc. It's just genetic and one of those things that you can do all the right things and still have it be an issue. My brother had a number of cavities growing up, and I never did, despite our mother being equally anal about our teeth. She assisted with brushing until we were about 8.

So if there is something hereditary at work here, causing the enamel to be weak or soft, you can't beat yourself up that much - it's the one thing you don't have any control over. Maybe discuss with their dentist what your other options are?

2 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Cavities has little to do with brushing teeth and dental care. If it is not done at all of course it will impact their teeth but the state of the enamel on their teeth is what determines whether they will have cavities or not.

I have weak enamel from birth. Sounds like your husband does too. Even if he never ate a thing and swallowed nutrition pills he would still get cavities due to the enamel being very thin and susceptible to weak spots for decay to start.

I believe your children got his enamel. They are going to have cavities no matter what they do. Deal with that and understand that diet and brushing don't really impact their dental health much. It helps of course but does not "heal" weak enamel.

I stayed nights with a young man who had a developmental disability. His parents had me take him to a local dentist for his yearly check up. They wanted me to tell the dentist to tell the young man he had to brush his teeth or they would fall out.

The dentist looked at me when I whispered that to him while the young man was occupied with the hygienist and said I'll see how his teeth look first. The dentist told the young man he had perfect teeth and to keep doing what he was doing.

I told the dentist after the young man went out with the hygienist that his parents would not be happy about him not reiterating what they wanted him to hear from the dentist. He told me the young man had the strongest enamel he had ever seen in all his years of practice, he was an older man too, and that this young man would never get a cavity if he ate candy all day and sucked a bottle all night. There was nothing that could penetrate that enamel and he was not going to lie to him. He told me that the young man would more than likely die in his old age without ever having a cavity or loosing a tooth.

Later I found out that the parents had taken their son to every dentist in the county trying to get one of them to tell their son to brush his teeth. He would not do it, he didn't like the flavor of toothpaste.

It was not a battle they were going to win and they needed to drop it and focus on something else but they fought with him every day over it.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

The strength of teeth is a genetically inherited trait somewhat influenced by the environment (like water you drink, foods you eat and whether you brush and how often).
That said, everyone is different. My older one is 14 and he had only one small cavity in his lifetime, I was brushing his teeth till he was about 5 y/o and later on he was supervised while he brushed himself till probably now... we still make sure occasionally he brushes before bed. I know he does brush a bit better in the morning because he goes to school and he makes sure his teeth are clean. He is bad about brushing in the evenings, never brushes after meals and rarely flosses (only if one of us gets on his case) and he is in braces, I take him for cleanings 3 times a year and every time the dentist is horrified with the amount of junk in his teeth, he has sealants, and no cavities so far. Knock on wood. His father has no cavities and doesn't know what the dental drill is, so I guess, he got the good genes.
My 4 y/o is good with brushing every morning and night and even reminds us to brush, I always watch, sometimes I help, but he does a very good job, also no cavities, he is almost 5 now. He was taught at school how to brush (we've been doing it before, of course, but the school instruction made an incredible impression on him for some reason) he was given a chart and he asked me to hang it in his bathroom and he follows the chart religiously. He is like 4 going on 40.
If you are interested, I never had both of them fall asleep with the bottle, they drink carbonated drinks and juices only on big holidays. Both of them eat simple sugars, daily, of course, the younger one does not drink milk, never did.
In our family I am the one with bad teeth although no one knows except me and my dentist. I had extensive dental work done all my life and especially after each baby and breastfeeding. My first baby cost me the whooping 8 teeth... so I am very happy that my boys seem to get the good gens.
My dentist explained to me that some people just have weak teeth, not much you can do about it even if you do everything right except getting regular check ups and fixing problems earlier. I, myself, go to the dentist twice a year for check ups and cleanings - I take my problem seriously.
Hope that helps.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

My dentist said I need to brush my kids teeth until they are 7 and floss for them until age 10. I do occasionally allow my 6 year old to brush her own teeth to help our bedtime routine keep moving.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 4.5. He brushes his own teeth in the mornings and I brush and floss them every night. It gives him a good chance to practice and learn to do it on his own, but I still make sure they get really clean at night.

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B.D.

answers from San Diego on

Lots of good info here. We are vigilant and our kids still have a couple of cavities. But they also have sealants on their permanant teeth, to hopefully prevent future ones. I have awful enamel and TONS of childhood cavities and my husband has no cavities (and poorer brushing/flossing habits than me). Our dentist told us that around 9 they can probably do a decent job by themselves. So that's when we started. Also, they use a Spinbrush and our dentist told us that their gumlines look great (perhaps MORE important than cavities is tartar buildup...since that's more easy to control and can cause worse damage - i.e. gum disease - than cavities). Good luck and try not to worry mama!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

My kids' dentist said that 8 is the age when kids should brush themselves. Before that age, let the kids brush but then the parent should go and it do it after to be sure everything is clean.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

SO, when I was in elementary, I took my toothbrush to school and brushed after lunch. I brushed in the morning after breakfast and in the evening after dinner. We never ate sugar, and I mean, I was 8 before we ever got sugar. We never ate processed foods. We only drank water. I GOT CAVITIES.

My brother never brushed his teeth. He would take his finger, put toothpaste on it and rub it on his tongue. HE NEVER GOT CAVITIES. Go figure.

We let our kids (9, 5, 3) brush their own teeth. We help them, if need be and we make our 9 year old go back and do it again, if it's not done correctly. We only make sure they do it before bed...and no cavities. Maybe too much brushing can causes issues with some kids? Maybe there's a delicate balance?

We give them pointers, but how else are they going to learn if we do it for them?

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

My daughter started brushing her own teeth at two, but I always go over what she has done (and still do). She had two cavities at an early age, but her dentist said it was because she had all her teeth by 7 months old. Even with brushing them (and her gums) since 3 months old she still got cavities. She has not had any more since, but she is due for her 6 month checkup.
I will most likely help her brush for as long as she lets me. My step daughter is 13 and never brushes her teeth without a fight, my stepson is the same way at 20 (his girlfriend argues with him about it). I have shown my daughter pictures on the internet of teeth that were not taken care of so she will understand what will happen if you don't take care of them.

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

A child under the age of 10 does not have the fine motor skills to propperly brush his/her teeth. That means that even if they brushing on their own , you have to do a double check and even take the brush and brush all the areas they are missing and trust me they are missing a lot of them.

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I am not 100% sure they still do and my oldest is 23.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

by school age, my kids were allowed to brush independently.

& yes, even with proper care, kids can get cavities. Sealants make a huge difference for most kids.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

My kids started "brushing" their teeth a little bit before they are 2 years old and they do their part, then I get to have a turn too, after them. We sing the ABC song at a nice semi-slow pace for the top teeth, they spit, then we sing "How Much is the Doggy in the Window" or some such song for the bottom teeth, then they spit and rinse. They DO drink juice (2 of their cups of juice mixed with a little water a day), 2 cups of whole milk, and lots of water, and no cavities (ages 2 and 5). My pediatric dentist said that until a child can write cursive, they don't have the dexterity to be able to clean their teeth properly on their own.....I started learning cursive in 2nd grade so I guess that's about the age they can start doing it without me going behind them everyday. Very occasionally, I will have my 5 year old chew a red tablet to show him where he missed or that yes, it's still good for mom to take her turn with the teeth too. We also have to instruct still---he either wants to brush too hard, too fast, etc. Those tablets can help with training so that they know to brush without missing a spot. But cavities are caused by bacteria, so perhaps they need to have toothbrushes changed out more often? Or try a mouth rinse? Ask your dentist about those options. My bff has issues with teeth and she goes to the same dentist as me. Dr B told her that she can SEE that the teeth are very very clean, that she's doing a great job, but she also just has "bad teeth" (enamel??); not her "fault", she just needs to stay on top of it.

A.G.

answers from Houston on

Both of mine by age 2, of course i supervise, we all do it together. it helps if they have a spinbrush.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Our dentist says we should follow up on the kid til at least 6 yrs old.

My SD has horrible teeth. We have fought a battle with her for years about brushing, sweets, etc. Last year she cost us several thousand dollars in cavity repair. We were NOT pleased, but at 17 she needs to be responsible for her own mouth.

When my DD was 10 mo. old, she had a precavity. I have been told by 2 dentists (my own and my child's) that she has poor enamel. My mom said I was the same way. DD was seen by the dentist every 3 months for a while, but now we're on every 6 months.

My SS? Not a cavity ever. He has NEVER had a cavity, never had to have anything pulled, etc. He just needed braces when he was younger. That's it. Same genetics as SD. Better luck of the draw and more contentious. He flossed more than any kid I know.

I think if there is any tendency toward poor teeth, you need to follow up more/longer than your friends might. They may also need to brush more times a day. You can discuss special toothpaste with their dentist.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

My dentist recommends to brush after they are done until they are at least 6 years old... however it's not all about brushing...genes play a role and even medication can mess up the proper formation of your kids teeth during pregnancy and infancy.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

my son, at 5 does his own teeth and to be honest we are not strict about it. I may be wrong but they are baby teeth, they will fall out, I am trying to make sure we focust on it but a 5year old with ADHD - there are more important things to stress about in my house! My family has good teeth and we may miss a brushing here and there and flossing is out of the question with is Sensory issues Ohhh no way no how so I guess I am saying lighten up, use mouth wash as well and let the kids take some responisbility with their teeth.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids brush themselves and started at age 5. They don't do a great job. My daughter had her first cavity last month at age 8. The dentist told me it had nothing to do with how she brushed. She said that it was a defect and that some kids have molars that come in with cavities already in them. She said we could have religiously scrubbed her mouth and she still would have gotten the cavities as they were there from development. I am not the best at brushing and flossing and, knock on wood, I have had very few cavities, maybe 1 or 2 in 37 years. So I would ask your dentist if these cavities were present all a long. Honestly, you can't brush their teeth in college, so the 8 year old has to learn sometime.

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