How Old Was Your Kid When You Told Them About the Birds and the Bees???

Updated on January 01, 2015
C.C. asks from Crown Point, IN
20 answers

So my husband told me last night that my just turned 8 year old daughter was asking a bunch of random questions so he proceeded to tell her about how a baby is made. Appearantly it went well but i know she probably has alot of questons and is a bit confused. Anyone have a good book that might help her process this???

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answers from Philadelphia on

My oldest was 5, my youngest was about 6 or 7 but it was a series of conversations. My youngest is almost 12 and we were discussing boys, sex and marriage last night.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Care and Keeping of You is a good start for puberty and things related. If she is asking, she wants to know. Keep it simple and answer what she asks. It will be a series of ongoing discussions.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Washington DC on

i dunno. we never had one big all-in 'birds and bees' talk. we just discussed reproduction and reproductive bits whenever it came up, and in whatever context. so little snippets of info got released in a very organic fashion.
my kids were never traumatized because it didn't just get dumped on 'em.
good for your husband for handling it directly and hopefully simply. she's past old enough.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Danville on

I feel blessed! When my oldest son was just over three...his brother a new 2, their sister was born. One of the early questions during one of her diaper changes was "Why is Caitlin's fanny in the front?". It opened the door for many age appropriate discussions going forward.

For us, it has been an ongoing discussion where questions were (and continue to be) answered in an age appropriate fashion. They are now 18 to 25.

As far as a particular book - I have no recommendation. I have just always answered WHAT was asked WHEN it was asked...and continue to do so.

Not too many questions


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answers from Baton Rouge on

Mine was four. She asked and I told her the truth.

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answers from Dallas on

Sounds like he handled it well, however, it's not a one time and done conversation. It's a continuous dialog. The Care and Keeping of you is a good book.

We were open with our daughter early on answering her questions in an age appropriate manner. Open honest communication is critical. You certainly don't want your child seeking answers from peers.

Don't assume your child is oblivious to sex talk. It's all over the school early on. She may be asking questions based on what she's heard at school.

If you feel uncomfortable with the subject, please don't let her pick up on that or she may develop the idea that it's taboo or dirty. You never want her to think that!

Go for a walk or drive and talk so you are not eye to eye if that helps. She needs to know she can come to you with any questions. That open dialog is necessary for a healthy relationship way on down the road.

Our elementary school nurse speaks with groups of boys and girls separately in 4th grade. It's sad that these are the only facts some children hear because their parents just won't discuss it. It's a part of life... They need to know about STD's, pregnancy, monthly cycles, body changes, mood changes, etc

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Last year, age 6. Our church does an age appropriately detailed, multi-day class about bodies, body safety, reproduction. There are quite a few pregnant moms - so this is a valid thing for young kids to have a basic understanding of.

The library may be able to help you find an age appropriate book with just the right amount of detail for the age.

And really, she's 8. Puberty isn't that far away, so start having an ongoing conversation about responsibility, safety, etc. Don't make it "the talk", but use situations, movies, etc. to get conversations going.

This is a link to one of my favorite blogs. It's related to autism, but there may be resource links in the post that are helpful for you.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Salt Lake City on

In my house this has been an ongoing item of discussion. I've answered questions as they have come up, and from what I've observed, any embarrassment is usually on the adult side of the conversation. My kids are just curious.

I second recommendations of "The Care and Keeping of You" for understanding the changes that come with puberty for girls (and 8 is not too early to start talking - some of her friends may already be there). My daughter, who is now 13, first got that book at around 9 years old, and she still refers to it from time to time. Because of it, she had no fear of menstruation. The book also addresses things like nutrition, hygiene, and emotional health. This book does not address reproduction.

I don't have experience with "It's Not the Stork," but the same writer has done one for kids 10 and up entitled "It's Perfectly Normal" about reproduction, puberty, and human sexuality that is excellent (in my opinion - you'll want to preview any of these books before putting them in your child's hands). Based on our positive experience with "It's Perfectly Normal" I'd recommend taking a look at "It's Not the Stork." Does your public library have good resources? That might be a good place to look at these books before purchasing them.

My girl just came and looked over my shoulder. She seconds the recommendations. :-)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

I love this book:

I showed it to my son throughout my pregnancy with his brother. It shows a baby being delivered and some images of bare breasts in the breastfeeding bit, so you have to make your own call there. The in utero photos are AMAZING and they give a great, science-based way to answer the actual baby-making questions. Puberty is a whole different ball game, haven't had to deal with that yet!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I think my dd was 8, almost 9 when we had the initial talk. I used several books as references and they were: It's not the Stork, The Care and Keeping of You, and God's Design for Sex (which reinforced our values of sex being reserved for marriage).

The conversation is ongoing throughout development. My dd just got her period this fall which opened things up to more discussions.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

We started talking about it when DS was probably almost 5 and we thought we were late. It's not one talk, it's a series of questions and answers as their questions become more specific. I have heard only good things about 'It's not the Stork' but have not actually read it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Rochester on

The website A Mighty Girl has a great list of books on the topic.

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answers from Columbia on

I'd just let it be for now. The "birds and the bees" isn't one single talk where you dump every bit of information about it on her all at once. It's a series of talks that you engage in based upon her age, level of development, what she's learning in class, and need-to-know.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

another good book is "its not the stork" If you have more than one child, this book is good for girls and boys. The care and keeping of you is great for girls I've heard.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I still remember the book my parents read to me and just saw it at Barnes and Noble the other day, it's called Where Do I Come From? I haven't ready it since I was little but I don't remember being too creeped out by the book itself, just by having the conversation with my parents!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Denver on

thats better than my son, he didnt take it well and thought it was the grossest thing he ever heard (and we didnt go into too much detials) any extra questions he had, his dad answered. He actually got mad and didn't want us sleeping in the same bed just to make sure it wouldn't happen. He was 9. (We didn't sleep in seperate rooms at his request) My daughter on the other hand was 7 and her cousin had filled her in on all the details so she knew far more than her brother. Some peoples kids!!!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Amarillo on

The age of 8 is a good starting place. I got the book called "What's Happening to Me?" It has both male and female changes to the body and since I had one of each it worked out well.

We were overseas when my kids were young and they were taught about the body in school and had to watch a birth and what STDs looked like. My daughter said between the two she waited to have sex. My son was a bit different but neither were or had anyone pregnant in high school.

We had talks throughout their teen years about emotions, relationships and sex.

Welcome to the tween years. Keep the lines of communication open so that you can discuss things and be honest. If you don't know tell them and go get the answer and report back to them.

Have a good year.

the other S.


answers from Phoenix on

Not sure of your religion but the big Christian book stores carry a really nice line of books by age. Literally starts at ages 3-5, 6-9, 10-13, etc. Something like that, so it's age appropriate. Good luck.



answers from Oklahoma City on

Go to your local public library and ask the children's librarian to point you in the right direction. They know the materials in their section.

You can take a stack of them and go find a quiet place to read them yourself.

I don't think 8 is too young. If you google kids having babies you'll find a 5 year old, with a certain health problem, can get pregnant and have a living child.

When you get to age 10 there are pages of lists of children age 10 that have had living children.

Kids today are exposed to things way before we realize it.



answers from Albany on

My daughter is 8 and I plan on getting 'The Care and Keeping of You' for her ninth birthday. I also talk openly with her and answer any questions she has simply and matter-of factly.

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