How Old Is Too Old to Get Upset over Minor Things?

Yes, this is normal at this age and at my age, 70. I suggest that the event that upset him triggered some other memory or issue. Perhaps he felt that the two pieces with his one made him feel less liked.

I suggest that the way to handle this is to give him a hug while saying I can see you're upset right now. Mirror back what they're feeling while letting them know it's OK to feel that way.

I think it's normal. No one is perfect and we ALL still get frustrated by what some might think as minor/trivial things.

Don't worry about other parents judging you...if they do, there opinions don't matter any way!!

I know you think he might be getting too old to be doing this but in reality 7y/o really is still pretty young.

~I am 35y/o and have been known to rock a fit...total 'Veruca Salt Style'!!

At each age a kid changes developmentally. And their emotions, too.
And their hormones.
From 9-12 years old, these are also the Tween ages.

Kids can be sensitive. Anytime.
But for boys, I think its important that they learn, that they do NOT have to be all "strong and silent" and pent up.
I have a son, I teach him to express himself to me.
He is 6.
If he cries, its fine.
We talk about it.
I tell him to tell me... what is going on or why.

My late Dad used to say: that a child needs to a place to be themselves and to express themselves. And at home, that is the place. If not, if they cannot do this at home or with their parents... WHERE, will they do this? And with whom?

When upset, it is NOT always about it being "his" way or "your" way. Often, the person or child, just needs to express themselves and talk. Then they feel better. They just need a shoulder.
As an adult... or as a woman... don't we just need to talk about things too or just let our hair down? We don't always just want someone to "FIX" us. We just need a soft place to fall. And have someone understand.

I would also acknowledge that 'yeah, it's a bummer that so-in-so got two pieces of candy and you got one, but that happens sometimes'. Along with it, point out occasions when he seems to have gotten an advantage but others haven't so he recognizes that things like that happen to everyone, not just him. To me, this is life, it's disappointing, but it is life. The sooner he learns to accept little things like this, the better he'll be able to deal with bigger things. It's also important to acknowledge the let down too and not blow it off like it's silly to get upset over little things. The more he learns to deal with things like this, the less he'll get upset. We went through things like this with our kids and this is what we did. Now they usually accept disappointments pretty well.

I'm nearing 40 and sometimes I find myself sweating the small stuff. I'm def. too old to be doing this, yet sometimes it still happens.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I know some people who do this in middle age, too. I wonder if it's a sense of 'fairness' that's been offended, a sense of helplessness that's triggered?

I have one young member in my family who would fall apart, even at 12, over some stuff that most of us think of as 'small potatoes'. I'd just be clear when these things happen-- give empathy, and let him express his emotions in healthy ways. "I know, it is such a bummer when he got more candy than you did, huh? That's just the way it is sometimes,and I know, I don't like it when I don't get what I want either." and then, give him some space to just move through that emotion and let it go. If he's not allowed to express his sadness, expect him not to continue to open up to you. Just give him some guidance--if he's really mad at home, invite him to take a break in his room and "come back when you're feeling better/able to use a regular voice/want to join us"..... it's a balancing act, giving them the empathy and support they need without allowing their upset to become the sole focus of everyone's attention.

Some things, too, you can let go of. He doesn't want to wear a jacket? "Well, bring it in case you change your mind." Empower him. Lost the soccer game? "If you know you played your best, that's all you can do. Sometimes, losing really stinks. The only way for your team to get better is to keep practicing."

If he's "generally sweet and happy" does he know how to process through time when something DOES bug him? Maybe most things don't bother him but when something does he isn't quite sure how to handle it.

It may not be that he wants his way..... it may be that he wants to be validated or heard. So, if the soccer team lost his game and he is upset have you ignored his behavior but parroted back his FEELINGS? "It looks like you were really upset about the game. It's rough to lose, huh?"
That may be all he needs. Just to be heard.

I'm 34 - I still get upset over minor things. I guess you never really get too old.

I don't know. I'm 40 and my husband is 48, and we still haven't outgrown it. I'll let you know when we do.

I agree with others. Show him some empathy. Validate his feelings and help him get past it.

Sounds like he's doing great.

Sure it's normal, especially for a young child.
Don't you ever have a bad day, or sometimes get pissed over something small that shouldn't bother you?
Imagine being seven and being even LESS aware of your emotions and why you feel the way you feel.
If he doesn't do it most of the time then it's not a problem.
I would also suggest you pick your battles, if he doesn't want his coat let him go without. He'll be cold and know better next time. Kids learn best by experiencing the results of their own choices (natural consequences.) Of course you can't let him make any dangerous or hurtful choices, but not wearing a coat is nothing to be getting into a power struggle over.

Oh god you are going to love the teen years. He won't cry but you will get a good dose of the death silence......

Oh, yes, it's normal. (It's normal at my age, too.) Personality has something to do with it. So does energy level, time of day, what time he got to sleep the night before, what was served for lunch, and a lot of other things. The days when "every little thing goes wrong" are actually the days when every little thing gets noticed.

But it's a good teaching opportunity, and you want to use those when you find them. "It's too bad that you don't want to wear your jacket, but I want you to, because you'll need it later today when a REALLY cold front comes in." "Yes, Eric got more candy than you did. Things don't always come out even, do they? Was it a good party otherwise? What was good about it?" "It's tough to lose a game. I imagine you all did your best. When there's a game and somebody wins, somebody else loses, and sometimes it's you. Do you still like soccer?" Accompany these responses with hugs!

Encourage him to verbalize, listen to him, and hang in there. If it were easy not to sweat the small stuff, there wouldn't be so many books written for grownups about how to do it! :^)

I know this might not be the most popular of responses but here is my 2 cents...I worry that his over the top reactions will negatively impact his relationship with peers. I say validate his feelings but not the way he is handling them. I have a nephew who still has strong reactions to things, like losing a game, and I can see the kids around him stepping away when he acts this way. I tell my kids it is ok to get angry and get disappointed but it is important to dial back how much we show it in a group setting. I tell them if they need a moment, step into the bathroom or go upstairs, and
then come back. I validate their feelings but I encourage them to handle frustration with grace. If not, step out lose it, and come back. I think it is important for us to help kids learn how to deal with strong feelings in appropriate ways given different settings and situations.

I would talk to him about what's really important and what needs to be let go. A piece of candy? Shake it off. The team lost their game. I'd probably let him get upset about that but teach him to be a good loser (as well as a good winner). Doesn't want to wear a jacket? Let him go outside and be cold.

You might try going back to "please use your words" and teach him words to put to his feelings. "I'm jealous" or "I'm disappointed" or "I'm angry". Does he need you to say, "I understand"?

I'd also look at his overall behavior. Does he like things "just so" and is it hard when they aren't? Can you work with him on accepting change or differences? Maybe ahead of time tell him how to deal with A or B outcome of a possible situation so he has a plan vs it being thrown at him. Work with him in advance.

Learning to deal with things is different than being stoic and unemotional. We all have emotions and bad days. We just deal with them differently at 7, 17, 70, etc.

yep, he's in the crying phase....which for boys can last until age 10. It sucks, it's embarrassing, & it will pass.

The anger end of it....hmmm, my husband is 58 & totally rocks temper tantrums. It sucks, it's embarrassing, & it will never pass. He will die of a heart attack during a temper tantrum. Oh, well.....he's an adult & this is his choice on how to live. My older son is well into this choice, my younger son is debating whether or not he can control this impulse, & I (mentally) leave the relationship when this happens. I have no idea how we've lasted 30+ years! So not my thing. :)

For your son, I used humor to pop my sons out of their angst. Coddling seemed to prolong the events. Try a roomful of Cub Scouts (or a sports team) pulling this, & coddling is out the door!

As long as you don't give in to his fits, he will get over it. His peers will also look at him funny if they think he is too old to be doing it too. That will usually make him stop as well.

Hang in there!

absolutely.. my hub is high tempered.. and has fits over little things.. i am calmer and tend to keep my emotioins in check.. my son 5 can have fits at any time.. i am hoping he outgrows it.. but he may not..