How Much $ to Give for Chicago Suburban Wedding for Co-worker?

Updated on May 20, 2015
B.N. asks from Chicago, IL
21 answers

Going to a wedding next month for my close co-worker's wedding in the suburbs of Chicago. I attended two bridal showers and just got back from an out of town bachelorette party (which was $$ for the weekend). Gifts were given to all events I attended (bridal shower gifts were from her registry).

Any ideas of how much I should give to attend her wedding? I will be bringing a plus one.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of the advice. I went to two bridal showers as one was thrown by another co-worker and one was thrown by her mom. The bachelorette party I attended as I wanted to get to know the other girls better before the actual wedding so it would be more fun. That's actually the first time I met most of her other friends so, no, I'm not in the bridal party. :) I will probably give a cash gift of $150 which I feel is appropriate. Thank you!

Featured Answers



answers from Los Angeles on

Yeaaaaah.....2 showers? Please.
$100 minimum
Go in with other coworkers and collect for a nice sized and appropriately chosen gift card.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Orlando on

What is this "cover the plate" business?
I have never heard of that. Do people use the money they receive at their wedding to help pay for the reception?
If they want to spend $150 a head at their reception, that is their business, but I don't feel a need to keep up with their decision. You are an invited guest, you should give a gift. Whatever amount you can afford. If they are doing a tally sheet about how much each guest gave hoping to cover the expenses, they should of opted for a less expensive venue. I would never expect people to "cover their plate". Interesting.
We would not do that in the south.

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Boston on

I don't know the custom in that area, but it seems to me that you have given two gifts and spent your own money for a ladies' weekend. Good heavens, what else could this friend expect??? Whatever you give at this point is more than generous.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Give what you want to give, an amount that fits into your budget. Gifts of all amounts should be appreciated. I've been known to give as low as $25 to as high as $500 depending on what flexibility there is in my budget.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Chicagoland? I'd imagine they are spending about $75 per plate, so at least $150.

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answers from Washington DC on

geez, i hate this whole scenario. i feel as if 90% of the weddings and graduations and showers to which i'm invited are in place only to generate cash.
a co-worker? i guess you're stuck with at least $100, since the 'acceptable' amount is to cover your own plate and then some.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I'm assuming two showers because one was at work?? But she must be more than a co-worker if you attended her out of work events and a travelling bachelorette party as well.

I stick to $100 if I can afford it. For two friends that got married within 5 weeks of me having my third son, they got me. They knew that and just wanted me there (with my husband and baby of course). Another friend got married when my husband as laid off a few years ago, she got $50. We do what we can. But if things in the universe are aligned, I go with $100.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

I don't think you have to give any more. You have attended bridal showers with gifts and the bachelorette party.

Personally, I wouldn't give anything. You already have.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Attending the pre-parties were all your choice, you should not deduct those costs from your gift. I know, I know, it feels like that should work, but that is not how things are done. If you are in a bind financially, just do the best you can. I had a friend who put my wedding invitation in a nice frame with a few mementos, it was very sweet. If it is not an issue of budget, but you just feel like you shouldn't have to give another gift...that's tacky. I feel for you, all those celebrations rack up!! I usually skip some of them to keep my costs down, unless it is my BFF or a relative.

At least $100 is appropriate to spend on something from her registry or a gift card. If it is a check, I would do at least $150, $250 or whatever more you would like if you can afford it.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

I would have suggested a 100.. but you already did so much, maybe a 50 spot.. even that seems like much for a co-worker... even if you are close..

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Santa Barbara on

I'm surprised you are not part of the wedding party...yikes!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

I have to say that I agree with Diane and Gamma in that you have given enough. Pre-wedding events and dual showers are getting out of hand and unnecessary in my view. It's not realistic to expect a wedding guest - even though it's a good friend - to shell out for 2 shower gifts and an out-of-town bachelorette party weekend and then a cash wedding gift.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I wouldn't bring another gift. Good LORD! You've already given way more than a normal person would have.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

I think it would be terribly rude not to give a wedding gift especially since you are attending the wedding. I would give what you can afford to give keeping in mind if you went out to dinner over the weekend and had a nice dinner and 4-5 hours of an open bar you would spend X.

Personally, I like to at least cover the cost of my plate(s). I know others disagree but it is my opinion.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

We give $150- $250 for a couple. That is the price point that feels appropriate for weddings in our area. We want to give a gift that covers our cost of attendance, and a bit more to be enjoyed to start their life together.

F. B.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

I agree that attending the other events doesn't mean you can skip the present altogether though I know it probably feels like it should. TWO bridal showers?? I'd be embarrassed if I were her. And I wouldn't have gone if I were you unless she's a great friend. So if none of this had happened, I'd say $150 - $200. But since you did do all this, I think around $100 or a little over is fine. I have a very very wealthy friend who didn't give me a great wedding present. But she helped throw my bachelorette little get together so seemed fine to me. I figure she scaled back a little on the wedding gift and I think that was appropriate. So I think you can do the same.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Wow, you're really close to her from what you describe, and I'm stumped why you would label her a co-worker after all those activities?

2 showers and an out of town bachelorette party seem like you're part of her inner circle.

My rule of thumb is that you give enough to cover your plate, plus your guests. Like, if you were to go out to eat and order the same meal, how much would you spend on that?

1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

100 is customary here, probably more up there.


answers from Chicago on

$100 is pretty standard around here.



answers from Chicago on

Are you in the wedding party? Why on earth were you invited to more than one wedding shower? Thats kind of over the top. As far as a wedding gift you should give what you can afford. The norm for us is $100 if it is friends. $200 if it is very close friends.



answers from Chicago on

Why three showers?

While I'd love to say you can skip out, you know you need to cover plates. Do at least 100. Queen of castles is probably closer to where you should be, but considering a weekend away, I'd say go for 100.

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