hun, you have to understand that NO ONE, not even doctors or nurses, can tell a person with certainty how much a baby should be eating. its individual. its personal.
a parent led schedule will never work. thats for sure. how would you feel if someone was in charge of when YOU got food? i would assume that it could be pretty frustrating, however we can wait 3-4 hrs to eat. babies have MUCH smaller tummies, and remember this; they will triple their weight and double their height in ONE year. thats a lot of growing, so that means a LOT of feeding.
you need to feed on babies schedule. when baby is hungry. this means all night too. yes, its going to be tiring, and hard. but you need to listen to your babies cues and signals, no matter when and where you are. its important.
as long as baby is gaining weight at appointments, there isnt a problem with how much baby is eating. just feed her when shes hungry. and dont ever force baby to eat more than she wants! baby is listening to her body, her body tells her when shes hungry, and when shes full.
william and martha sears are both in the medical field and have raised 8 children, one adopted, and they know what they are talking about! they are very into helping moms know that YOU are the ones with the instincts. you need to listen to them - and that is far reaching! always always listen to your heart and your instincts. thats so so so important. dont listen to outside advice unless it backs up the instinct that you are already having. if you start listening now, you will not regret it later. that means all the time. all day and all night. listen to your isntincts. during the first 3 months, you need to just find out how to survive. do it by instinct instead of outside advice, even from your doctors!!!
doctors sometimes will just tell us what they think we want to hear. and they dont nkow your child, they cant take the time to really explain something to you, they wont take the time to really listen either. doctors dont have time.
listen to your instincts. thats so important. and check out www.askdrsears.com and any and all of their books.
listening to my instincts meant with my son (now 22 months) nursing until he self weaned at 19 months (i understand you cant and thats fine, dont feel guilty. just do what you have to do ok? its ok) that meant for me co sleeping most of the time until he was between 15-17 months. that means letting him sleep in our room, yet in his own bed even today. that meant NOT forcing him to 'cry it out'. after all, what is 'it' and where is 'out'???
the cio method is something also that i feel strongly about. i really dont agree with it, and i really feel it hurts the parent/child relationship. if you have any questions, please as me, i will help you out the best i can.
parenting is hard. and tiring. and frustrating. but when you can see your child happy, safe, comfortable, friendly, .... and .. like my son, one who will lay down when put to bed, and just go to sleep instead of tantrums or crying... wow. the power of being the parent...
think of it this way. if the majority of kids have some sort of issue... and the majority of parents are parenting a certain way.... then.... connect the dots you know? something about parenting these days isnt working.
anyway, its a lot to think about this early in your parenting. but its a good time to think about it!