How Much Do You Help 6Th Grader with Homework?

She really should be doing it on her own, and only coming to you when she needs help or clarification.
I found a good balance by having my kids do their work at the kitchen table or counter while I was making dinner. That way I was right there if they had a question but I was also too busy to just sit down and hold their hand the whole time. Also I found that if they did their homework in another room they usually didn't stay on task as well.

6th grade here is the second year of middle school.
It's painful! Lol
IMO, it's ALL about study habits and planning ahead.
Mine is very disorganized. He's working on that. I'm helping him.
The actual work though? Not very much help. Unless he's completely list or I ask him spelling, etc.

Our daughter has a routine for homeowrk. She comes home, has a snack, flops out for a bit and then started her homeowrk on her own. If she needed help, she would ask for help.

In 6th grade, the teachers will expect the student to go to them with questions. Parent interventions are after the student has worked with the teacher first.

Many times teacher have time to work with students after school, sometimes during lunch.,

Staying organized is what 6th grade is all about. Learning how to use a daily agenda. If she does not have one., go and purchase one. Find one that has a week on 2 pages. This was she can see her entire week.

Some children have to cut back on extra curricular activities that are not school functions. until they get the hang of keeping up with school. So if a child is in Music lessons, sports, church youth group and dance, may be time to have the child cut back on one activity at least until the next semester.

Consider a tutor. We used a tutor once our daughter was in High school for her higher math. But my business partners son has had a tutor 3 nights a week during the school year since he was in elementary school. He is now a freshman in high school. He has severe ADHD and works better with the tutor than his parents.

Sometimes make up or late work is accepted, so make sure your daughters knows these expectations. Have you attended a back to school parent night yet? That is when the teachers speak to the parents about expectations and how to help your child be successful in their classes. If not meet with the teachers. Make scheduled appointments to meet them and ask about their expectations since your child's previous school was so different.

FYI - Middle school teachers love meeting the parents. They do not get much opportunity..

One thing to consider. I also teach math, and in high school I had a really, really bad geometry teacher. I kept asking my dad for help, and, rather than help me, he would ask me to explain the problem to him, ask me what my teacher said, what the book said, etc. Eventually we were able to answer my questions and get me going on the homework again. Years later he confessed that he didn't have a clue as to what I was doing. Part of the reason he kept asking me questions is that he was hoping i would eventually find the answer. I was probably one of the few students in that class that understood what was going on.

As much as you can, I would help her learn how to figure things out by asking her what happened in class, what the teacher said, what the book says, etc. It's ok to sometimes show her yourself, but maybe little by little require more of her.

She's lucky to have a mom that can help her as much as you can!

My daughter basically does it herself, but she has always been good at doing homework. She missed one assigment this year and it dropped her grade a lot, so now we just stay on top of her in making sure everything is at least completed.

She has social studies homework due every two weeks. She has to read a book and complete a journal/writing assigment weekly. Math is weekly as well.

If she had things due the next day every day, she would be in trouble. All 3 of our kids have after school activities, so no way could we complete it all.

We don't let her sink though. We work with her and communicate with the teachers to find out why she is struggling. Sometimes it's because she didn't ask for help, sometimes it's because she forgot, whatever the reason, we help her. It's still our job to guide her at this age.

6th grade is a huge change around here because it begins middle school and the entire dynamics of how the school day schedule runs is different. It takes a lot of students a little while to adjust.

When my daughter was in middle school and even now, the teachers are pretty understanding, especially the first 3 weeks or so for the new students to adjust.

EVERY student is given an agenda (planner) from K-12 to assist with planning their day, routines, writing down what is due and when. In the early elementary years, it is a big deal to have that agenda signed by a parent each night which tries to get all of the students used to writing assignments, etc in the agenda. Maybe an agenda or planner would help your daughter with organization of her classes.

As for one on one assisting... we helped when needed by guiding our daughter to figure something out. You are a previous teacher, I am a regular substitute as well and I see nothing wrong with explaining concepts for the homework.

Our daughter has always been a good student but one thing we also did was have a tutor for about 3 yrs for enrichment. This helped her SO much, especially with her writing style and study habits. Yes, it was hard to get it worked in because of her extra curricular schedule and cheerleading but it was worth every penny we spent for enrichment. This not only helped her at the time but the she continues to benefit from the skills learned as she is now a Sophomore in College with a 4.0 and on Dean's list.

I would not sit down, write a paper or do her math but I have sat with her and helped guide her. Even as a Sophomore in college and going through managerial accounting right now which is hard, she is shadowing me to learn the family business and all of my bookkeeping which is hands on managerial accounting. It really helps them to get the concept if they see it at work.

Good luck to you, the time flies from this point on!!

I'm probably out of the mainstream as a homeschooling parent, though my kids did attend traditional school for a number of years.

I have pretty much helped on an as-needed basis. By "help" I mean organizing, thinking through projects, keeping an eye on dates, helping make flash cards for quizzes/tests, etc. One of my sons is naturally organized and a good reader so he did not need much of this assistance. Another of my sons is a brilliant student but very scatter-brained so he has needed this much longer. This same kid is now in community college (he's still in high school but dual enrolled) and doing fantastic.

I just don't believe in the "sink or swim" philosophy that I often see people advocate. Children develop at different rates and just because you're helping in 6th grade doesn't mean that you will have to go to college with your daughter and do the same thing. Make sure that she's moving forward, that's all. Don't make her feel ashamed of where she's at right now (not that you are). We all have strengths and weaknesses. It's a marathon and not a sprint.

I wish someone had told me to relax a bit when my kids were smaller. It will all work out.

The transition to middle school is an ENORMOUS change!
It can take some students most of the year in order to get their act together.
I'd pull back on the sports/extracurricular activities until she gets a better handle on her work load - school/grades has to come first.
Our school system (in middle school) gave all the kids planners at the beginning of the year.
Getting use to using the planner, and checking it for homework assignments
took some doing - but eventually that planner is a life/sanity saver!
I'd help her with her organization and prioritization.
Oh and planning too!
It took awhile for our son to learn that you start a project the day it is assigned - not the day before it's due.
They have to get use to figuring a lead time for these things.
When she is more organized, the grades will come back up again.

She's got a big adjustment on 2 levels - she's now in middle school which is where a lot of changes are made, and she's coming from a less structured school system.

Many schools have on line schedules for tests and projects and even daily homework. If her middle school is set up in teams (one teacher for English, another for social studies, etc.), it's likely that they are coordinating a little bit so that there are not 2 major tests on one day. Check into that. Our middle school did that, with teachers within each team coordinating their testing. There is still homework every night which is designed to get the kids into a habit of working a little every day rather than saving it all up for the "night before". So getting a look at the full week's schedule can be helpful.

Sit down with her and look over the whole set-up. Just help her get the big-picture overview of her week, then help her break it down. You can set reminders on phones and computers to pop up something like "check due date for English" and "prep for math quiz" at certain times. If she doesn't have an organized binder or a folder for homework that ALWAYS comes home with her, set that up. Often teachers or guidance counselors will help the whole class do that. If your daughter needs extra help with this, fine. But there are certain things that always have to be in the backpack at the end of the day - help her decide what those are and put a checklist inside her locker if you have to.

Many kids are in sports and other extracurricular activities, but schoolwork comes first. If she needs to take a season off from a sport, then so be it. She's only in 6th grade.

I don't think parents should be doing their kids' homework, and I think you have to watch the amount of help you give even in an area where you have skills (e.g. math). Teach your child to approach her teacher for after-school help (every teacher has at least certain days to stay late for students, if not every day), so that it's HER responsibility. Encourage her to go to the teacher to say "I just don't think I'm getting this unit. Can you help me?" There's no shame in asking for help - only in not asking.

Don't sweat the grades right now - she's only in 6th grade so don't put any pressure on her (or let others do so) about her college prospects! You're right that these are indicators of where she needs to work. It's also likely that her report card grades will be affected by whether she gets homework in on time, and whether she participates in class. So encourage those aspects as well. For most teachers, errors on homework are not a problem if the kid spent some time trying to do it. The homework lets teachers know where the problems are. So if she turns it in with a question not answered that's okay - she should put down as much work as she can toward the answer, even if she doesn't complete it. But leaving a question blank (unless it's at the end of the homework paper) doesn't indicate that a kid didn't work or try (at the end, it might look like they just quit).

I would also set a time limit for an assignment - if a kid spends more than X amount of time on something and just doesn't "get it", there's no point in slaving. She should go to the teacher when she arrives in class and say, "I really had trouble with Questions 3 and 4 and I really didn't know what to do about them. When can I come for extra help?" That goes a long way with most teachers.

You can also find out at Open House or at an individual conference what services are available to help kids develop study skills and the ability to prioritize and plan. It may well be that a whole bunch of kids are struggling with the transition to middle school. That said, the goal is for parent to back away and let the kids take on more and more responsibility as preparation for high school, college, and life in general.

I really feel for her! She is paying the price for her previous, slack school. So you do need to step in and work with her on study skills -- which is not quite the same as "helping with homework."

One key thing was mentioned by TF below: Does she have a planner? In MS here, the planner is your LIFE. It's issued by the school and kids are actually penalized if they fail to have it with them in every class. It acts as their personal calendar and they are expected to write in every assignment, test, quiz, etc. If she has one issued by the school: Establish a routine, starting today, of going over it with her every single day including Fridays after school. She must get into the habit of entering everything, and including things that seem far off to her (a test next week or even weeks away, project due dates next month, etc.). Sit down and look not just at the next day's homework but at the day after that, upcoming tests etc. She needs to schedule her studying for quizzes and tests as well as her actual written assignments.

If her school does not require use of a school-issued planner, buy her a large calendar book, spiral bound, with date squares large enough for her to write in assignments. Require her to carry it daily to every single class and bring it home daily. For now, have a consequence if she does not do so. (If the school issued it, she would have a consequence if she didn't have it.) Sounds tough, but MS is tough.

She also could use some lessons from you in how to study - not the same as how to do a homework sheet or write an assignment. You may need to walk her through things like how to review notes; how to make flash cards; how to use past quizzes as study guides, etc. You may need to make some study quizzes for her to take at home -- there is nothing wrong with your creating some extra study problems in math, using her textbook and past homework, for instance. That is studying--doing it over and practicing with some new examples. You won't have to do it forever but she does need to learn skills that weren't taught in her elementary school.

Some are going to say, let her sink or swim. Nope. Not yet. If she struggles now, she is going to get turned off and start to think, "I can't do it" and she'll associate middle school with just being hard, when actually this is a time to learn great new stuff. She has two more years of MS to go, so this is the year to work with her on organizing herself and on study skills. If that means sometimes quizzing her, going over vocabulary with her, making some extra math sheets for her, that is what it takes. It's not coddling; it's teaching study skills. Kids are NOT born knowing how to study - though some parents (not you and not me) think they are, and advocate letting them figure it out all alone. It makes me nuts to hear parents tell kids, "Just go study" and then the parents are bewildered or angry when the kids don't do well -- the kids may have no real idea what "study" means if it does not mean doing assigned homework that's already laid out for them.

Do her teachers have after-school hours? In our school, teachers pick one day each week when they stay after and are available for anyone to get any help they need -- maybe the English teacher stays on Tuesdays, the social studies teacher on Thursdays, etc. She should get those schedules and use them, and not be afraid to go to a teacher every week if needed.

She will still be thinking on her own. You won't stymie that by helping her learn to study and helping her review things when it's appropriate. She needs that jump-start since the previous school wasn't up to scratch.

Does she have a schedule where she has every class, every day? Or does she have a "block schedule" with longer class periods but she only has, say, English on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and math on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday? If it's the block schedule, she should have more time to do homework since things assigned on a Monday in English can't be due until Wednesday, for instance. But if it's an all classes, every day, schedule-- that's tough. (We have block scheduling and she and I both love it since it takes off some pressure while also creating more useful class periods where kids are there for longer.) This is why the planner could be crucial.

To be honest, by the time 6th grade rolled around, I didn't even know whether they HAD homework much less help them with it.

At this point, I would contact her teacher (or guidance counselor, if she has many teachers like my kids did in 6th grade) and come up with a plan together. Don't let it go any further this way.

:)

It depends on the kid. I've never helped my SD with homework and assume she does it because she has almost all As with the occasional B. My oldest son is the same age (16) and it's a never-ending struggle with him because he has ADHD and learning disabilities, so he needs lots of "scaffolding" to keep from falling off the edge of a cliff. I've tried "sink or swim" with him and he invariably sinks so...I give him the support that he needs.

My 10 year old (who may also have ADHD but is very bright and has no learning challenges) needs a ton of supervision because he isn't organized, doesn't read directions, skips over questions, and loses track of time. My 8 year old works completely on his own unless he needs clarification on something and leaves his assignment book and completed work (in his folder) on my desk for me to review and sign. Wish they were all that way!

I think that it's reasonable to give her a lot of support now as she is transitioning into a harder school and a harder grade, new structure, new expectations, etc. If she did fine before, she'll probably be able to internalize the habits she needs to develop and will need less support over time. This is also the year for students to start to recognize that they need extra help and be comfortable asking teachers for extra help. In my school district, teachers start being available after school for extra help in 6th grade (usually 1 or 2 days a week) and it's expected that in high school, teacher be available for 30 minutes before and/or after school 4 days a week. If your district is similar, encourage her to use those resources as well when needed.

When my SD moved in with this halfway through 7th grade, she did struggle to cover the gap between her underperforming prior school district and our more competitive one. She didn't like asking us for extra help (I do private tutoring and teach test prep) but she was fine with staying after with her teachers regularly until she was caught up.

It's going to take her a while to adjust...I would continue to be highly involved until she shows signs of being able to work more independently. Sounds like it's a temporary thing.

My older kids, now 19 & 17, by 6th grade, really in about 4th grade I think, had daily planner. They had to look at it, and I had to sign off on it. That helped them a lot I think get ready for high school and now college. Now that they are older they put things in the cell phones for reminders.

I would give her little reminder but make her responsible. Let her know if she cannot keep the grades up, then the extra activities will have to go. I'd also sit down with her and let her give you her ideas so she can succeed, brainstorming. Gives them some control in making good decisions. I'm not saying you go 100% with what she wants to do either, if it makes sense, yes, but if not, together come up with a plan.

From this point on, they only get more and more work. It's preparing them for college and ultimately the work force. Thank goodness I don't have to bring work home much, but my plate is full all day long.

Its hard jumping from a lax school to one that is more strict grades wise. As far as "helping" her with it. Explaining concepts etc is one thing but doing it is another. I would buy her a good assignment notebook. most schools give you one at the beginning of the year.

If she doesn't have one go to the office depot or office max near you and get one. A full size one is best. It should have spaces for all of her classes plus a place for notes from teacher to you and or you to teacher. she should get used to writing in it each class. if there is no homework she could write none. if there is something due put the due date in it and get her used to carring that date forward if it is more than the next day. for instance an essay due in a week should be writting on todays page but carried over to the next several days and then written in big bold ink due today on the day it is due. she should also write things like bring home math book, get permission slip signed etc. it will get her organized which will help later at the college level.

Make sure she has a good spot to do homework. I like the kitchen table best as they can ask questions etc. But some kids do better at an out of the way space. As long as yours does homework either works. But if she drifts off into lala land then the table is best where you can redirect her back to her homework. If she has a class with no homework encourage studying up on notes from whatever they studied that day.

Good luck.

I think giving them a quiet place in the main part of the house where they can be observed but not....right under someone's thumb is a good start. Even if they have to stay up after getting home late they still can do a little bit.

I have always been up front too. If we have a full schedule a particular evening I let the teacher know they kids won't be doing homework that evening and if they want them to do homework that day they need to make some time during the day for them to start working on it.

I don't support the idea of assigning homework just to make a kid work outside of class, that is such a waste of time. Homework doesn't teach a kid anything except to hate school and to not want to even go to school.

Studies have shown that kids who are assigned busy work homework actually test lower than kids that do not have any homework. They learn better at school than at home.

My son started 6th grade / Middle School this year also. I think since the beginning of the year, he has asked once for help. After I googled & made sure I remembered how to do the problem ( math ) , he was able to do the rest on his own. He's actually done a really well with the transition.

I help mine more than I'd like to - I try to focus on explaining the problems and don't do them for her, but she's currently not very invested in trying very hard. The sink approach is feeling more appealing, but I do want her to learn and not get behind.

the more you help with homework.. the more you will have to help with homework.. my friend was still sitting with her son and doing homework every night and he was in 12 th grade..

So ...I do caution you..homework is her job.. you need to give her responsibility for it... if you beg plead and coax her to do.. you will probably still be doing the same next year..

That being said.. I would help her this year.. as transitioning to a new middle school is big... but again as little as possible.. maybe help with math if that is a real struggle but let her do other subjects independently.. or help her organinze and strategize her work.. but leave her to do it solo..

By 6th grade, they were getting zero help from me unless they needed specific clarification about something (math, science, whatever). But actually doing their homework, bringing it home, organizing their time, keeping track of their assignments and tests, all that other stuff was 100% on them. Like I told them at the beginning of Middle School, I already DID Middle School myself and I have no desire to repeat it...now it's THEIR turn.

My 7th grader often comes home and says "OMG, I have probably FOUR hours worth of homework tonight!" to which I say "Whoa, that's a lot! I'm sure you'll figure out what you need to do to get it all done by a reasonable time." Most of the time, it's not *really* 4 hours once she gets started...maybe more like 2 hours. But if I started to jump in with helping her, she'd never learn to manage her own time, right?

Letting them sink or swim very often results in them swimming.

whew glad my kids are grown-in 6th grade they hardly had homework-i now see grade school kids bringing home mountains of it-i find that really disturbing n sad for the kids-i think to much is being shoved at them so early-hahaha when i was in school-algebra was for the advanced students all the way thru high school.basic math rite thru 12th grade for me n my kids.i think its just way to much for these kids.my kids did just fine..good luck..

I will help with suggesting resources if she doesn't get something, but that is it. I also quit checking up on the what is due when business around 5th grade. I let her take the consequences for not turning something in on time and her attentiveness to detail improved over night! I sign her agenda each night without looking at it. I do check the Powerschool grades all the time to make sure I am not unaware of a major change or something going on. I often ask her to teach me what she is learning about in a particular subject. You can really see where they are when you let those conversations just kind of flow. Truthfully, she is pretty self directed and gets excellent grades. I am not sure if this would work with a kid who didn't care, or was having other types of difficulty, but it works for us.