I think my girls have too many toys. We could not afford to buy them many at all. But my good friend Andrea gave us an absolute ton of clothing for 2 sizes for all seasons, as well as almost half their toys are from her too. It was a blessing, my girls are close in age and love ALL of their toys. so my problem is how much is too much? Because I don't feel like they appreciate what they have. I had next to nothing as a kid, and I mean it. I already told my husband they are only getting a maximum of 5 presents each maybe less.
They share a room and I don't know if it just seems like a lot because it's mostly in one room together, with a few things in the living room. how do you deal with christmas presents? how many toys do your children each have?
Please give me any and all thoughts on this.
Thank you all for the ideas, and advice. It's very helpful and gives me a better idea about how much to give and how much they already have.
My son usually gets presents that complement what he already. Things such as legos, Leapster/Wii games, and superhero toys are things he already has and getting new ones doesn't create more mess since those toys already have a place. I also go through and remove old/rarely used/broken toys a couple times a year so we don't get overwhelmed.
Hi J.,
The problem doesn't sound like they get too many toys (although they may) - the problem is that you said you don't feel like they appreciate what they have. That is, in and of itsself, an issue. And - it won't go away just by limiting the amount of gifts they get. They'll just be resentful that they aren't getting as much but still won't appreciate what they do get.
My daughter has a friend who litterally has everything on the face of the planet. Her bedroom is bigger than our living room. She's 11 and has an iphone and a mac computer - of her own. She had meet and greets for the last Jonas Brothers tour and Taylor Swift tour and also got to meet Lady GaGa at Lalapalloza. But this kid is the nicest most well adjusted kid you could EVER meet. She would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She clears her plate when she's done eating and really has a sense that she is LUCKY to have parents who can provide that. She doesn't think she's better than anyone else and she certainly doesn't feel ENTITLED to receive any of it. And she never looks down on us or is snotty because we DON'T have what she has.
So, I'm not sure what works for one family will work for another. If they can't organize their toys and/or they don't take care of their toys.... then you have too many. If they can organize them and take care of them then however many they have is ok.
For my daughter - we typically go through her room 3 or 4 times a year - we just did it last week (which coincides with BTS and her b'day) and we'll do another before Christmas. Anything she hadn't worn or played with in the last month got put into the "donate" pile. But she's 11, so she can participate in this now and will pull stuff out on a regular basis if it's cluttering up her room.
When she was little I would 'rotate' her toys. Anything I hadn't seen her play with I would remove from her room. If a couple weeks went by and she didn't miss it (unless I knew it had sentimental value) I would put together a bag for goodwill.
When she was 5 or 6 I started getting her involved in the process with the talks about their being kids who don't have any toys and letting her "donate" toys she didn't play with anymore to kids who didn't have any. We also volunteered for the foodbank at the church we attended at that time, so she was used to seeing kids who had much less than her. That sort of just automatically made her more grateful for what she did have.
I guess to actually answer your question - I think a kid has too many toys when they don't have time to play with all of them within a couple weeks to a month. That's a good time frame when they should have "gotten around to" all the toys that interest them and that they have time for. Anything more and it's just too much clutter.
Good Luck
my son is only only child (intill jan!) and the only grandchild and only one of two great grandchildren. So he does have alot. however my husband and and I are on a very very tight budget so he doesnt get much through the year, and christmas is the only chance I really get to spoil him. His christmas gifts are already bought (I buy them slowly through out the year because we can't afford alot at once) and he has nine. However the biggest item (kitchen set with a stove and sink and microwave and pots and pans) was $15 on a after christmas sale. his next biggest gift (a big wheels tricycle) was $10 and the others are small items. like books and five dollar dvds and a small box of winnie the pooh legos.
Our kids get so much from so many people at Christmas that we end up having Santa give them each 1 med priced gift and one small priced gift, usually fun gifts. We as parents get them a few things each, but more practical. They always get a new pair of jammies and slippers and an ornament. Then maybe a couple stocking stuffer type gifts, CD, book, etc. Even at that we seem to get overwhelmed with gifts that time of year. Exchanges with cousins, friends, gifts from grandparents and godparents, it really is too much in the end.
As far as 5 gifts per kid, I think it depends on what you are getting them. Five toys, in my opinion is too much, especially if they are likely to get toys from other family/friends. But 1-2 toys/games, and 1-2 articles of clothing, and a book or movie or something similar, I think would be reasonable.
If you already feel you have too much, consider a once-a-year clean out. Back-to-school/fall is a great time to do this and make room for Christmas things. Get rid of broken or incomplete toys, donate or sell nice toys that don't really play with anymore. I myself am way overdue for a good purge.
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I don't think there's a right answer to this bc the whole picture needs to be looked at. My parents didn't buy a lot for us at random times but Christmas and bdays were always big. And when kids are too young to understand cost, the equation is different too. An older kid will understand an expensive present means the count or volume will be lower. Real little kids have no clue anyway so I just got what they needed and enough to make it fun. Sounds like your kids have plenty so five is probably right. Another year may be different or another kid may get ten presents bc that's the time of year for new things in that house...
This is why I'm sick of Christmas, literally. I use to love Christmas, but since I've had kids, I dread it because of all the new junk I have to live with and the fact that my kids don't value the junk. We limit our gifts, to three (the three wise men each bringing one gift). One gift is from mom, one from dad and the other from Santa. Now, that's just from my hubby and me. It doesn't count gifts from other relatives and birthday presents during the rest of the year. Throughout the year though, I either throw old toys out or donate them. If you walked into my house right now, you will find toys scattered throughout my house. My kids dump the toy boxes daily, but rarely play with the stuff. They do clean it up in the evening before bed though or toys will be thrown out. Every day it looks like a tornado hit here. It's a vicious cycle that never seems to end, but I realize they are only kids once, so enjoy!
My kids are 2 and 4 and get between 5-7 gifts from us and then a few under the tree (for both) from Santa. They also get stockings. The night before (Christmas Eve) they get a handful from their aunts/uncles and grandparents on my husbands side and the afternoon of Christmas they get a stocking and one gift from my parents plus money for college. Last year I did 10 gifts each and after 3 or 4 my older child was bored and didn't want to open anymore. So for now I'm trying to stick wtih 5-7...but I WANT to buy them stuff even if they don't NEED it. So I need to curb that myself!!
I really struggle with this one, too! My boys, ages 2 and 4, share a room. They do not have tons of toys, but plenty enough, and what they do have take up a good amount of room. Pretty soon my littlest boy will be moving in there, too, with the coming of baby #4, so that will be even less room for toys!
It seems especially hard with my oldest, who is now getting interested in bigger boy toys. I'd love to get him 5 or 6 more age-appropriate toys, but I don't want to give my 2 year-old any more of the same kinds of toys we have mountains of already!
A friend told me they only get their three children one big thing each at Christmas and birthdays, and that grandparents get lots of other things. And you know, that really seems like enough, doesn't it?
I was just thinking about this yesterday. Good question. I have decided that my children for Christmas will receive a stocking each with little things like stocking stuffers, small games, small toys and at least three books each. Then they will receive a larger present under the tree. My six year-old will receive a surf board, my three year old will receive his first bike, and my five year old...well, I'm not sure yet, but you get the idea.
Last year we were at my MIL's for Christmas morning, and for some reason the ten year old cousin was handing around the presents. He was practically throwing presents (like a baseball pitching machine) at my sons who became overwhelmed and upset, and didn't actually want any more presents. They certainly didn't enjoy the experience. A few presents, in a lovely calm environment is perfect.
I pick a set number of boxes/bins/shelves for toys. Once they start overflowing, time to clean out the ones not played with. I also used to rotate toys. Have one bin, put old toys in there, a month or two later, pull the bin out and put different toys in there. The kids are like "Wow! This is a cool toy!" when a month ago they were bored with it.
Christmas -- my son gets one toy from Great Grandma/Pa, one or two from Nana & Papa, one or two from Gammie & Grandpa, one or two from AuntB&UncleN, then some cash from another great-grandparent. His first year, I wanted to buy him things, so did. But in Xmas 2 and 3, I don't think I've bought things for my son unless it was something I was going to give him earlier (a shirt, a dvd) and just saved it for xmas time. (At xmas time is when I get rid of a lot of old toys. I don't even put them in rotation unless they're great toys like blocks or something. I give them away, as I know the holiday will just bring more.)
How many toys does my son have? Yikes. There are little ones and big ones and 'sets'. Too many to count. But I clean out the bins every now and again and get rid of the things I haven't seen him play with.
I believe Hanakkah is 7 small gifts and one larger one at the end... but I am not sure of the custom.... I'm sure someone will correct me.
As Christians, we don't really ave nightly countdowns like this, but I do know some people who do advent calendars that are really cute and may include a little gift or two throughout the season.
As for us, we usually do maybe 3 gifts. We try and spend less than $20 on everyone. So, either 3 small inexpensive gifts, or one larger gift with some cute little stocking stuffers, or we combine the boys gift and get them something bigger they can share. Often times, they gets gifts from the grandparents so we only get them one thing. Last year, we only got them a 99 cent for wheels car and I think a Disney movie to share. They loooved it by the way.
As for controlling toys, I donate toys every few months. We have *a lot* but mostly b/c they are sets, like a box of leggos or blocks which is about 50 pieces. We donate or regift to needy kids some gifts we get for Christmas.. or we take those gifts and give them as birthday presents for our kids (whose birthdays are in Dec/January anyways).
We do a larger gift from Santa and one-two gifts from mom and dad at Christmas. Of course, there are more gifts from other relatives, but I try to suggest to relatives other ideas I know my kids would like rather than buy them myself (saves money!).
In terms of toys, I agree with rotating. I keep about 1/3 of my kid's toys in a storage bin in the basement and bring them out every other month while then putting away about 1/3 of the toys that have gotten "tired". It works great for re-energizing toys.
