How Do You Wean a Toddler?

Updated on October 21, 2008
K.M. asks from Arkansas City, KS
15 answers

I am currently nursing my son who will be three in early February up to three times a day. I am fine with this, most of the time, but it is beginning to get on my nerves. I don't mind it at night, when he needs a nudge to go to sleep but in the day time, when I'd rather be doing something else, I often sit there thinking, "Hurry up!" Also, my husband is beginning to question me. Our other two weaned at 22 and 24 months on their own. How do you gently start weaning someone this old? Maybe I just need support from others who have nursed this long. I know of NO ONE in my area who has nursed past two.

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So What Happened?

So far I have not actively started weaning him because DH is taking it upon himself to get the process started. He is taking him on an extended weekend trip to visit his grandpa who is in an Alzheimer's unit, refusing to eat. Little Boy will be so engaged with his grandmother (still on the farm) and his cousins that I bet he won't give me a moment's thought. We'll see what happens when they get home late Monday night!

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S.W.

answers from Fort Smith on

Hi

I just told my 3 year old it was all gone! She cried one night and after that she was fine. She'd tell me "it's all gone'.

Have you tried or thought about pumping and giving it to him in a cup? I wished I did this or at least mixed it w/cows milk, b/c mine will only drink milk in cereal.

Good Luck! D'Anne

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J.P.

answers from Lawton on

I saw on supernanny the same thing and the mom just didn't give the breast to the child anymore but replaced the nursing with other cuddling activities like reading, singing and rocking etc. And if the child pulled up her shirt and demaned to nurse she said said things like " We are not doing that anymore". In the show it turned out that the mother was really the one who was prolonging the weaning because it was her last child she was going to have and she didn't want her to "grow up". I Nursed all of my kids and I know it will be hard. On an other note the average age children stop nursing in the world is 5. It is only in America that they encourage weaning by 1 year. But when it comes to Dental health you might want to talk to your childs dentist and find out when he/she recomends stopping because I am think it might effect growth of teeth and mouth shape after a certain age.
It is time to wean if one of you is ready. You might beable to find the epasode if you go to the supernanny website.

Good luck!
Jen

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L.W.

answers from Auburn on

I don't know what an expert would say. My son nursed until he was three. I think one reason was that he doesn't like cow's milk. If your son has not tried cow's milk, give him some, because if he likes it he will not have any nutritional need to nurse and may drop off on his own more. With my son, I finally went on a short trip, so he couldn't nurse for a couple of days. The good thing about his being so old was we could talk about it. When I came back I explained that he had done without it for a while and it was time to be a big boy now. He says he still remembers how disappointed he was at that conversation, but letting it go longer would not have been the solution! He is a happy eleven-year-old now.

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K.P.

answers from Fayetteville on

First of all, good for you! I believe in nursing until the mother and/or child are ready to wean. My oldest daughter was just over 3 years old when we broke the habit. I am not the pull off the Band-Aid kind of person, so I used the "don't offer and distract" method It worked pretty well during the day, the nights were a little harder. I never actually told her "no" (beacause that word makes her want it more!) When I discovered I was expecting another child, I told her it hurt to nurse, but I would try and when it was uncomfortable, she was very sympathetic. My sister had a similar situation and told her son, it was broken - that worked for her.

I have a 2 1/2 year old now and she is showing no signs of easing up. So, I will be in your situation again soon! Maybe I will try the milk is going bad thing... I love that!

BTW, I still get well-meaning comments from my in-laws about my extended nursing/co-sleeping mothering. I've done so much reading and research that show the many benefits to the child, that their suggestions don't bother me as much. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Dothan on

First off, don't listen to people who say there is no weaning at this age. They are mistaken. I had a doctor tell me one time that my daughter would never wean herself unless I had another baby. There are almost 11 years between my daughter and my son, and she was weaned way before she was 11!

Actually, I allowed both my children to nurse until they "weaned themselves." What that means to me is what someone else mentioned: "don't offer, don't refuse." During the day, you could offer them something else instead. Like, wouldn't you rather have _________ (preferably something nutritious, but that they really like). At night, try reading or singing along with the nursing and maybe you can gradually nurse for shorter periods of time while continuing the reading or singing. Anyway, both mine weaned themselves shortly after their 4th birthdays. I look back on it as one of the happiest times in my/their lives.

Hope this helps.

A. :)

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L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

I'm afraid there's no weaning for a near three year old. Go cold turkey - and work it out for a day or two by sticking to your action. At that age they'll fight back and resist the idea of "weaning." He's old enough to be told no and understand. Give him a cup and tell him he's a big boy now.

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J.B.

answers from Little Rock on

Instead of nursing him now, give him a sippy cup with milk and at night before he goes to bed give him a little drink of milk in a cup so he won't get hooked on a sippy cup for going to bed with.

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A.C.

answers from Lawton on

if i had let my son continue nursing he would still be doing it and he will be 5 in march,lol. With all 3 so far of my children I have just stopped nursing. IN place of nursing I have either fell asleep with them in thier beds at naps and bedtime or rocked them to sleep until they could do iut on thier own. YOu just have to break the tie they are so used to that they rely on it to comfort them during hte day. Find another thing to do that and you will be set =)

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M.M.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Congrats for sticking with it as long as it is intended. The US is the only "westernized" country where breastfeeding is hurried. Most such countries wean at about 3. I personally felt that with my only child close to 3 was cool and I'd not have another chance to breastfeed. We used nursing as close-together-unwinding-time after work and daycare. Forget what other people say about what is age appropriate.

At any rate, one day when my daughter was about 2 1/2, we knew it was not a nourishment thing but a comfort thing so I told her that in a few days she would only drink for a cup and we'd do something else together. That worked.

One day after we came in from a long day at work and daycare as I sat on the sofa, she sat on my lap and raised my shirt. I said, "Remember, we're not nursing anymore. We're using a cup." To which she replied, "I know, I'm just looking at 'em."

Anyway, we didn't have a difficult transition. Perhaps you could cut him down to once a day, as we had at that time. One special time, then exchange the nursing for something else to do to unwind. Talk about how big boys use cups.

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B.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I told my daughter that the milk was getting really old and it was going to start tasting bad really soon. Then, one day I painted my nipples with a product you can buy at the drug store called "Thumbs It" that is used to paint on the thumbs to discourage thumb sucking. She started to nurse and then said "tastes bad" and she asked one more time a few days later. She was pretty insistent so I ran to the bathroom, painted more on, and she tried again. She just needed to know that it was still tasting bad. I did replace the time with snuggling and reading. I do think that
is important! Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Biloxi on

I personally have never nursed that long but I think at his age you would have to just go cold turkey. I am sure that he has it totally ingrained in his mind. So cold turkey rough couple of days and then I am sure you can get on with life. Also a thought. Offer something else to him instead when he wants to nurse. Here you can have juice, milk, water. I don't know just a thought. Good Luck

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S.D.

answers from Birmingham on

I know someone who placed mustard on her breast and her son quickly moved on around 2 yrs of age.

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N.H.

answers from Lafayette on

Start giving him a treat in the place of the nursing you want to stop. Instead, go outside and have a popcicle. The night nursing will be the hardest to stop. I did not nurse mine for that long, but I have two friends who did. I just nursed all three for a year and a half. We are all different. I was just ready to stop. Be honest with your child at that age and let them know you would rather do something else with them. Do ing something snuggly at first at that same time will make them want to nurse more. It is just so similiar to getting ready to nurse. Good luck!
Always in prayer,
N.

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L.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

You have done a wonderful thing for your son to nurse for so long. And don't think that it is too long (though if you feel ready, then it is time). The World Health Organization recommends AT LEAST two years.

You will find some AWESOME information on this at the la Leche League International website, llli.org.

L.

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