How Do You Stop a 2 Yr Old from Screaming?!

Updated on July 12, 2008
K.K. asks from Danville, KY
10 answers

Help!! I'm going crazy! My 2 yr old son screeches at the top of his voice and it is the loudest sound I have ever heard (makes your ears ring). He does this when excited or when he's tired and whenever we're in public people are extremely annoyed (as they should be). I've tried to wait this out and ignore him, but it's been going on for 7 months now and I can't ignore him in public. I try to whisper to him and tell him that he needs to use his "inside voice" but this has no effect. HELP!!!!

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M.S.

answers from Owensboro on

I would try to tickle him. You might be able to get him to change his train of thought with screeching into giggling. Good luck ! I have 3 boys of my own- 6, 2.5, and 11 months.

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A.H.

answers from Greensboro on

My daughter also has the uncanny knack of shattering people's ear drums. i also tried ignoring with no success and finally, out of respect to the rest of the world, I started putting her in time out for screaming/squealing. Not if she's squealing with pleasure while running through a sprinkler outside, but definitely if she screams for attention or even squeals out of fun while in a store. I usually give her the "1,2,3 magic" rule (first scream or loud squeal I tell her "that's 1" until she gets to 3 and she gets time-out. That gives her some chances to choose a different way to express annoyance/excitement.) I really didn't want to "punish" her for expressing glee, but then I realized we are all in this world together and we need to compromise a little out of respect to others.

Also, when I decided to tackle this, I sat her down and laid out the ground rules so she would know what to expect. Before we went into a store/church/someone's home I'd remind her of the rule. I praised her for when we were out and she didn't scream/squeal. It has really worked. I started this a little before she was 2 and she totally understood what was expected of her (especially after a few days of intense testing!). She's almost 3 now and it has been a relief to have a plan in place so that all I have to say is "that's 1" and my blood pressure doesn't raise in frustration and she immediately knows that she needs to make a different choice in expressing herself or there will be consequences. I think she's liked having that control and I've liked not feeling helpless - since of course we are when it comes to controlling what comes out someone's vocal chords! Good luck!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

Not sure it this will help b/c each child is different, especially at different ages. I would tell him each time he does it, in a stern voice, "NO SCREAMING! The next time you do that you are going to go to time out and spend some time alone" introduce him to time out if he has not already been in it. It can be a stool in the corner or a mat on the floor away from everyone. You may also try taking away a toy he likes until he can be a good boy. When you take it away you put it up on a shelf and show it to him, tell him that when he can stop screaming, he can have it back, and leave the room. When he asks for it, get on his level and say, "are you going to stop screaming?" and continue this every single time he screams. If you are out in public, take him to a corner alone and get on his level and do whatever you can in that moment.....time out.......toy away.......no dessert at the rest, etc

Hope that helps,

W.

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B.M.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi K.,

Try this, get down on his level, face to face.

Mouth words (very extravagantly and animated) but use NO sound. I did this with my son's and it never failed to make them stop and hush to know what I was trying to say! And, when they would stop and ask me what I said, I would point out to them that if they were not screaming so loud they may have heard me. And, then i would explain to them again how screaming is uncalled for and inconsiderate (only in a way a little person understands)

Good luck to you

B.

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I.W.

answers from Greensboro on

At two, he's at the in between age where he knows what 'no' or 'stop' or 'quiet' means but he's not quite old enough to comprehend all the reasoning behind it. I think your technique of whispering to him is a great one. It immediately SHOWS him what behavior you expect. I'd like to say it's a phase but 7 months is a long phase :)
We've had some luck (you know 2 year olds, nothing works 100% of the time!) with the PREP and PRAISE technique for public outings. We prep him in the car with things like "we have to be quiet at church, OK? so the other babies can hear" or "we're going to eat but we have to stay in our chair, no playing under the table". This gets us through the first few minutes inside the restaurant so then we'll praise him with "it makes mommy very happy when you sit in your chair" or "mommy is so happy you are using your inside voice". And if shopping, I buy him some cheap little toy (like less than $1) and tell him it's for doing what mommy asked. I try not to do this often so he learns to obey because mommy said not because he's going to get a gift.
Here's a great article by Dr. Sears that gives a lot of tips for handling behavior. Although some of these tips are for older children, I'm sure there are some appropriate for a 2 year old. You're probably already using some of these. Like getting to eye level when you tell him to be quiet, etc.

25 WAYS TO TALK SO YOUR CHILDREN WILL LISTEN
http://askdrsears.com/html/6/T061000.asp

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T.K.

answers from Louisville on

Just reading this made me laugh, we went through the same thing with our little boy. During a calm moment we told our son that screaming/screeching hurts our ears (real dramatic explanation, we covered our ears and made pained faces). We told him that screaming was for outside and that when he started that's where he had to go. So, the first screeching session we had, we booted him outside into the back yard until it was done. Repeat as necessary. It didn't take too long for him to decide to find other methods of irritation...like whining...much quieter :). If he's like our son, he'll howl while he's outside for a bit and then get the message. Note: I try very hard not to chastise my son for screaming while outside...

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L.M.

answers from Nashville on

my 2 year old screams too. If he's excited or mad. I've tried various things. If he screams I'd talk softer, he usually got the drift and stopped. I would get to eye level and tell him I can't understand him when he screams. If he's screaming at his sister I tell him as soon as he calms down his sister will play with him. The screaming has decreased.

good luck

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M.T.

answers from Honolulu on

I have that problem periodically but it doesn't sound like it is as bad and as often as yours. I just put my finger in front of my lips and say, "shhhhhhhh, we don't scream like that in the store. We have to be quiet." When she screams in the house I tell her that it is ok to have fun in the house but if we are going to scream like that, we have to go outside and scream." I don't have a clue if she knows what I am saying but she gets the idea of what I am telling her I am sure. Kids learn by repetition so I say it over and over and over. What else can you do?
Good luck. It won't laugh that long. He will grow out of it soon. It is normal.

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B.R.

answers from Raleigh on

I had this same question with DS. Now, I'm enduring it with DD who is 2. With DS I was told that 2-year-olds don't have an "inside voice". It does subside.

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K.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

The trick is to learn what motivates your son. Not everything works for every child. Let me give you an example: My youngest daughter, in third grade, was getting on yellow at school (that means she wasn't listening to the teacher) several times a week for several weeks. She usually was on 1 day restriction for this, it wasn't working. One night we told her that if the behavior continued she would have to learn to ride her bike (She did not want to learn and resisted out attempts to help her learn) for the next 3 weeks she stayed off yellow and after that she was on yellow much less often. Now for most kids this won't seem like a punishement, but because I know what motivates her I was able to find a solution. So the question is what motivates your child. Bubbles in the bath? Not being able to watch Seasame Street? Once you find what motivates him, you'll have your solution, even if it sounds like it's wierd to other parents. :)

PS My daughter told the teacher that she had to ride her bike if she got on yellow. The teacher called and wanted to know if I could give a class to some of the other parents.

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