How Do You Raise Bilingual Babies If Only One Parent Speaks a Second Language?

Updated on January 26, 2009
S.B. asks from Los Angeles, CA
4 answers

Hi moms!
I speak a second language while my husband speaks only English. We like for our kids to be able to speak both languages. I just don't know what's the best way to go about doing this. Should I speak to our baby only in the second language while my husband speaks to him in English? Or is it too confusing if I talk to him in both languages?
Right now I talk to him mostly in English.
Any suggestions from other parents who have done this successfully will be much appreciated.
Thanks,
S.

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S.A.

answers from Honolulu on

I am in the same situation! I also speak two languages, and my husband only speaks english.

I believe it IS recommended that you only speak the other language, and your husband speak english to him (that was what my pediatrician told us to do anyways).

I have a friend who does it that way, and her children (2 and 4) are very "bilingual" and know WHEN to use french, when to use english, etc. They mix up some words sometimes, but for the most part they do pretty good.

I also have a friend who is Russian, her husband is french, and together they speak english. Their son (who is now 4) is perfectly trilingual!

Personally, I find it "awkward" since my husband doesn't know what I am telling our daughter, and same with all my friends who don't speak french. So I try (as much as possible) to speak/read to her in french when it's just the two of us. But I kind of regret it now, I wish I would of started when she was born speaking ONLY french to her all the time because I see how well it worked for all my friends who do it (and with my mom did it with me, and I was perfectly fluent in both french and englsih from 2yrs old), and now my daughter can only say a handful of things in french, but speaks 8-10 word sentences in englsih.. oh well, as long as she picks it up enough to hold a conversation I'll be happy I guess :)

Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

This is the way my family is.
I, speak English only.
My hubby= speaks French (and English & others)

Our kids= are bi-lingual even from the time they were about 6 mos. old or younger. They would respond 'correctly' to BOTH languages.

It is not complicated:
You= speak to your children ONLY in 'your' language. Only.
Your Hubby- speaks to your children ONLY in English. Only.

NEVER (or at least try not to) speak to your children in "both" languages... this will confuse them.
ONLY speak to your children in "one" language per Parent.
Exclusively.

Both of my children... as I said, understood and KNEW what were saying from the time they were babies. We knew they understood everything because they would react/respond CORRECTLY to what we say, no matter what language is used or from what Parent. They "know" that Daddy speaks French, and I speak English. It is NOT confusing for the child...because, simply, this is the way they grow up. So that is all they know.

It is NOT confusing for the child. To me, this is just a myth and an excuse. The child learns better than an adult. For me, although I know and speak and can read French... I am SO illiterate compared to my kids... who know MORE than me. My Hubby speaks to me in English, and we speak to each other in English in front of the kids, since that is what I am versed in. But, both my kids KNOW their Dad's language very well and are more expert in it than myself!

No worries. Its not hard. But each parent has to speak to the children EXCLUSIVELY in their native language. Not a chop-suey of both languages at the same time...OTHERWISE, the child will 'incorrectly' learn the language and think it's 'okay' to say English and the other language at the same time in the same sentence. Know what I mean?

You don't have to 'buy' anything expensive or those CD's or anything. Maybe some books so you can read to them, from both languages. The thing is, you already have both languages in the home, with both Parents speaking it...thus, you don't have to go buying things that just cost more money. There is no need for it. We personally, have books in both languages, (and others), and kids movies. It's good enough.
BUT... you have to be consistent... AND you have to start speaking to them this way, from infancy. Just do it. Its not hard. It's more confusing for the parent.

All the best,
Susan

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you are good almost any way you do it. My sister had a nanny at one point who only spoke Spanish ... now my niece understands that well and can respond - she is almost three. While her father was still alive, he spoke to her in both English and Farsi, and she understood perfectly. She can now respond to things in English, Spanish, and Farsi. I am sure it is quicker if you speak only one language to your child while your spouse uses the others, but that is not always practical. They are sponges, as long as you correct the mistakes, they will pick up both languages well.

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K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

The only way your child will learn is if you speak your language and you husband speaks english. It is not to much at all for the child to learn nor will it be confusing, it will be the best thing you can do for your child. My little Alison is able to speak in both Spanish and English with no problem of course she always responds to me in English since that is what I speak to her in, but I hear her with her Abuelita and she is speaking and understanding spanish. I speak spanish myself and reincofrce it as well but she always looks at me funny when I speak spanish to her and told me the other day that that I was not Abuelita cause she speaks spanish, it was so funny. Alison is almost 3 in April and has been bilingual her whole life.

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