How Do You Limit Your Child's TV Watching??

Updated on June 05, 2009
S.W. asks from Flower Mound, TX
19 answers

I have a 4-year-old and am afraid the TV situation is getting out of control. She went from not caring anything for a TV to LOVING it. I'm thinking of using a chart or something for her to earn TV time. Honestly, the thought process stops there. I'm just not sure what is the most effective way to do it. Maybe buy/make fake money or use a sticker chart?? What all will I have her do to earn the time? I'm hoping to not have the TV as the only reward, I would like for her to choose other things. Maybe have a treasure box? I have many thoughts, just can't get it all pulled together. I'm looking for anyone that has had this problem that found a good solution. Please give me your thoughts, whatever they may be. I just want to get this under control quick!! It's causing major chaos in our morning and evening routines. Also, how much TV should a 4-year-old be watching? Thanks so much in advance!!

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I've struggled with this forever with both of my kids (11 and 5) and I have a husband who loves TV also. We've tried a variety of things. Anyway, it hasn't been too bad because my kids love to play outside and my husband works until pretty late in the evenings, but this year we got a 15 year old foreign exchange student. He LOVES TV. I had to figure something out that wasn't too much work for me. We decided no TV/computer/video games until after 6:00 pm. It's been fabulous! My 5 year old goes to bed at 7:00 so that leaves only 30 minutes of TV time for him before he starts getting ready for bed, and my 11 year old gets about an hour a night before he does other stuff. We're going to modify it a bit for summer and allow a little more, but not much. The kids haven't complained at all (except for the 15 year old exchange student), and it's so peaceful and easy. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I like to use tv as a reward for cleaning up. If my kids clean up their toys without complaint and in a timely manner, they get to watch a little tv before bedtime(we tivo the morning shows like Barney and Dora, etc.). I let them watch one show during breakfast, too, because it gives me a little time to do stuff and eat my own breakfast:) During the day, however, there is no tv, because I think the day should be about staying busy and keeping their focus on playing and imagination, which tv can distract from. They usually play all day and make a mess in their play room, but the tv incentive really motivates them to pick up at the end of the night, so the mess usually gets taken care of by them. Good Luck!

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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

I think you're making it too difficult. Just make the decision to only let her watch it at X times. It's summertime, so she should be outside playing most of the time anyway. The only time my son watches TV is in the morning and for about 10 minutes after bath/shower in the evening. Otherwise, he's outside or we have 'music house' during dinner. On the weekends, we have 'quiet house' where nothing is on. Helps him calm down to rest in the afternoons.

My problem is getting my husband to turn it off. He has it on during the day while he works from home, so doesn't realize that he doesn't really need it on 24/7. ;)

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V.A.

answers from Amarillo on

I know this may sound harsh, but if you dont want her watching tv all day, shut it off. Tell her she can go play with her toys, color, read, just play. My kids would rather be outside anyway if its nice out, and in their rooms playing with their toys, listening to music or something to have fun. Give her alternatives to the tv. She will become less and less interested in what the box is doing and have alot more fun. Just shut it off and give her some ideas on what she can be doing instead of sitting around watching it.

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 4 and no longer take naps at home so his TV time is also his quiet time. He gets to choose one dvd whether it be a short tv show one or a full length movie then that is his TV time for the day. I make it seem like a big deal by letting him pick a dvd from the library or blockbuster. he gets no more than 2 hours a day. I get a little quiet and he gets the tv he wants. We have tried different things including charts and pennies and other "prizes" to "pay" for TV time but that always just seemed beyond him to fully understand so we switched to this and it seems to work. He still gets upset and wants more time but we stick to it.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with not making it so complicated. I turn on the TV in the morning and my kids can watch any age appropriate shows they want. I've never made a big deal about limiting it, but if I feel they've had enough for that day, I tell them that they may finish watching the current show and then the TV will be turned off. Any whining results in a warning about no TV the following day and if they persist, then I follow through. I've never had to follow through. We are pretty active, so several mornings a week we are doing something outside anyway. Also, my oldest who is 5 loves to read and do puzzles and play games. He is already reading and would rather go to the park or read a book over anything else, so I feel I've made the right decision in not making a big deal about television watching. Do what you feel is right for your daughter and stick with it no matter how much complaining you must deal with at first. Good luck!!

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

Turn off the TV and go for a bike ride or swim with her. Spend time playing outside or a board game. Do things with her instead of thinking that she will want to be alone.

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

My suggestion is to get a handle on it while you have a 4 year old and keep it simple(money, stickers etc sounds like a lot of work to me). I have a 16 year old that is an absolute zombie w/the TV. I wish I would have just turned the thing off more, period. YOU decide, regardless of tantrums etc how much you are comfortable with, and stick with it. Decide what needs to be completed before the TV goes on(dressed, breakfast, chores etc.). I had (have) a strict "no TV during meals" policy. Remember who's in charge and it's not your place to 'negotiate' with a four year old. I'm speaking from my perspective of doing that too much and trust me, it's hard to put the genie back in the bottle! Good luck.

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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

I have a 10 year old and nearly 6 year old. They have one hour of TV per day. They choose a program (usually PBS) and that's it. By limiting it they choose something they really want to watch. Because of the age difference, if they want to watch different things they can. For instance my 10 doesn't want to watch Super Y so she reads while he watches (in a different room). Then when she watches her program, if he's already watched his, he plays outside or in his room.

We play board games, puzzles, draw, go on nature walks, ride bikes, draw with chalk outside, read, etc. I've given paper, glue, pipe cleaners and asked them to create. There's lots of stuff to do instead of TV.

If there are behavior problems through the day I will occasionally tell them they're going to lose their TV time if they don't straighten up. To me the less TV the better.

L.

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

we have basic rules. no tv in the mornings while getting ready to go. if chores need to be done, they are done before tv comes on. as for other limits, it's more a matter of post dinner/pre bedtime during the week, not really how long they watch but it's never too long. on weekends, the tv is on much more, yet we are careful to what it gets turned on to. no violent cartoons and such. at age 11 and 5, the boys can find those quite easily. i do bring home dvds from the library, but those are treats to be handed out at my leisure.

at the end of the day, you are the mother. you set the rules. there's lots for kids to do otherwise.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I limit the tv my kids watch(most of the time!)I don't like the tv on during school days but now that summer is here they will have to have thier chores done and they can only watch 1 movie per day. We try to do other things such as simple crafts, read books together, go outside and play, play at the park, ect.
When kids get hooked on tv, the first couple of weeks are rough with out it or when you cut it down. They have a hard time finding things to occupy thier time so you will have to help them. After that they will go days without even asking to watch because they are having too much fun playing!
Good luck!

~C.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

Stacie,

You have to get it under control quick...My daughter is not allowed to watch TV, but she does have a selection of movies that she can watch. They are only about 30 min long and she is allowed to watch 2-3 a day and that is it. Once she has watched them, then the TV goes off and it stays off the rest of the day. My husband and I don't watch any TV while our kids are up...so once they go to bed, then we are allowed to watch whatever we want.
I have heard about people that give tickets at the beginning of each week (each ticket is worth like 30 min) and once all the tickets are used up, then no more tv for the rest of the week. I don't think a 4 yr old should be watching more than 2 hours a day...MAX.

TV is such a dangerous thing. Our kids get pulled in and are learning all kinds of trash and they aren't getting the exercise they need. They also aren't having to use their imagination or be creative. It's scary.

Good luck!

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Personally, I would not make it too complicated. You are the mom, you make the decisions, she deals with it!! Suppose you decide she can have 2 hours of screen time a day (which would include tv, computer, or video games) then just tell her that is the rule, period!! Let her pick the times and shows that she wants to watch during the day, so she has some control, and then, turn it off. Now, you cant have the t.v. on "your shows" all day.. that is just a bad example, but if you are like me, you dont have time for tv until the kids are in bed. I personally find all of the reward charts, and stuff to be more work than they are worth sometimes. I want them to be good, but sometimes a rule is just a rule. And, we do not turn on the tv in the mornings before school (or work if you have to get out of the house) until everything else is done! From teeth brushed to shoes on etc. It helps get them going for sure:) Good luck, I know it can be a tough battle, but if she fights you on it, she can learn how to live with no tv..its up to her:) ~A.~

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Stacie,

When my children were young, they were allowed 1 hour total of tv, computer, or video games per day. My children had big buckets of craft supplies, giant cardboard boxes, toys that inspired creativity, games, outside toys, etc. As parents, we always made time to do things (their choice) with our children every day, even if it was just a game of Sorry after dinner or a walk around the block. My children who are 20 and 21 actually thanked me a few months ago for helping them have such a fun, creative childhood. My daughter's boyfriend who was part of the conversation complained that he only watched tv, played video games, or played on the computer; he said he didn't get to do the "fun stuff" like my children.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

My limit is a couple in the morning and a couple in the afternoon, none in the evening after dinner unless we are having movie night as a family. I use the DVR and tape shows without commercials so it usually ends up 45 minutes in the AM and 45 in the afternoon. When the second show is still on, I give them a heads-up that when that show goes off, the TV goes off and I make them say "Okay Mom" so that I know they've heard me. If they don't, I pause the TV and make them say it. Sometimes they throw a fit when the TV goes off, but I just tell them it's time to play, and give them some suggestions. Now that we've done it this way for a while, they don't even watch their limit. We haven't had it on at all today and it's 1:45.
They get tired of their toys so make sure you have plenty of crafty stuff, play doh, etc. for her to do. I picked up a little bubble machine at Walmart the other day and they will spend an hour catching bubbles. They also love sidewalk chalk, playing in our sandbox or the sprinkler.

Don't make it complicated and stick to whatever plan you decide on and it will work out. Hope this helps.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have my kids earn TV time, but I just set limits on both TV and computer time. So maybe 1 hour a day is all you want her to watch, then that's what you tell her, and it is not open for debate. Remember, you are the parent here so the choice is not your daughter's! I have three children, the youngest is not quite 2 1/2 and the older two are very clear on this and the younger one is learning.

And then my kids can only lose their TV/computer privileges. Ask my 14 year old . . . she was doing so poorly in school because she was so distracted by her computer activities that I would up completely revoking her computer access. She had the opportunity of earning back computer time but continued to struggle with keeping up with assignments (although not as badly) that she wound up not getting computer access (except for school work) until now, because school is over.

I am a firm believer in setting limits and being consistent in applying those standards. My kids all know that I once I make a stand I rarely back down from it, so they take me very seriously and don't fight me on it.

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J.B.

answers from Tyler on

The old saying is, "proof is in the puddin." I have two sets of grandchildren. One daughter is strict about the TV, limits it to one hour a day, records on her DVR appropriate programs, and deletes the commercials. My other daughter allows her children to watch TV as much as they want. There is as much difference in the two sets of grands as daylight to darkness. The two who have limited access to TV are self-motivated, investigative, read books, and play with respect toward their friends and each other. The other set are mouthy, parroting the attitudes and words they view everyday on the boobtube. They don't care for reading nearly as much, and they are way more passive--expecting to be entertained rather than finding something to do on their own. So choose for yourself which type of child you want in your home. The TV/computer can be a treat or a monster.

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H.I.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Stacie,

What we do in our home is that the kids have to play outside to earn TV time. If they play outside for 30 minutes, they can watch TV for 30 minutes, same rule for computer time. They have 1hr max of TV or computer time per day. Hope this helps! Good luck! Helen

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

My DD is 2, and gets 20-30 minutes a day, in one sitting. She can watch one episode of Dora (22 minutes) or two episodes of Pooh (24 minutes). Her choice, both on DVD, so no commercials. And that's it. If she watches as soon as she gets up, then there's no more that day--she'll ask, and I'll just say, "no, we're all done with TV for today." When she gets older, I plan on doing what my parents did with me--I didn't have a strict limit, but I had to ask at least a day in advance for a specific program. So, for instance, I'd say on Tuesday, "Mom, may I please watch the Cosby Show and Family Ties on Thursday night?" And the answer was always yes. But I was NOT EVER allowed to just watch because I was bored. My sister and I actually had to read the TV guide and decide in advance on shows we really liked, instead of just turn the TV on and see what's there.

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