How Do You Know When Your Child Is Ready to Start Potty Training?

Updated on September 20, 2010
L.M. asks from Washougal, WA
9 answers

My son is 20 months old right now, and I am just wondering when should I start potty training?
I don't believe that it's a cookie cutter age for every toddler, but rather to look for the signs that they're ready. I don't want to start too early if he's not ready, but I would love for him to be able to use the potty and start it if he is! Also, at his 18 month check up, his doctor asked us if we had started potty training yet. I told her not yet, but that we have a potty and practice sitting on it once in awhile. She said that was fine, but that parents tend to start around his age...

Today he looked at me after he had obviously pooped, and said "poop". he said it twice. I asked him if he was all done, and he said "all done". I asked him if he was poopy and he said "no". then he came up to me and said "poop". haha. so that tells me that he understand what going number 2 is like and how it feels.
He will also grab his diaper sometimes after he went pee and will say "diaper". I can tell because it's very warm and full afterwards.

We bought a potty a little bit after his first birthday and have practiced sitting on it (fully clothed), so he would be somewhat familiar with it when we did start. But now I don't know when to start!
I feel like he might be ready, but like I said, I don't want to force him or rush him. They say boys usually train later that girls, but I think you have to look for individual readiness as well.

So when did you know when to start potty training? And how did it go?

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Featured Answers

A.G.

answers from Houston on

when they take off their diaper, when they go to a corner to poop, when they show an interest in potty like things, like flushing, wiping and washing hands. when they can express to you that they want to go to the potty, when they stay dry longer.........there are many signs and every baby is different. My baby is 22 months now and is going to the potty often, has been for a few months, we still put her in diapers but i am about to make this transition on her 2nd birthday. She was ready much sooner than my first, who seemed to do every milestone early but that one. she was 3 1/2 before she decided to stop, and then it was a matter of bribery.

I say buy a potty book and go for it.

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

I potty trained my son at 18 months because he was so curious about the toilet. I think there is a period when they are still young where it is fun for them because they aren't big on control (like when they're 2 1/2). We didn't find it that difficult or stressful to potty train at this age, and I'm glad we did. Although, my son struggled with pooping in the potty for about a year (he would say poop as he was pooping). When we potty trained him he was obsessed with busses so we got a lot of bus books at the library and did a lot of reading on the potty...it's actually a sort of fun memory of the week we spent in heavy duty potty training mode. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Medford on

I think when they start getting interested in using it. Like when you go, they want to come sit too. Also, if they pull off their diapers when they are wet or messy. or they start talking about being wet or messy...I think you can google Potty Training Readiness Signs and find a list of common things.
Boys usually train later, I was going to wait until my son was 3 to worry about it, but here is what happened:
About a week before sister turned 5 (he was 2 1/2) we got home from daycare and he said "I wan ta wear big boy unders an use the potty." I said ok lets give it a try. That was it. He didn't have a single accident from there! I couldn't believe it. He was just ready!!! I thought all along he was going to be so tough to "train" and in fact he didn't need any training at all. We had talked about it before and he like to sit on the potty and he knew that his friend at daycare wore big boy unders...He just knew he was ready.

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M.C.

answers from Bellingham on

Every child is definately different. You can start him off by reading books and going through the motions. If you go to the restroom take him and have him just sit on it and say like mommy is using the potty do you want to sit on the potty too? Once he understands the process then just take cues from him on whether he is fighting or not. Some children need a more drastic push if he stays not interested. I did not push my child and she was flat not interested in going. She is about to turn four and just started pre school and just recently started becoming potty trained and that was after I bribed her and made her run around naked for a few days so she was forced to sit on the potty to go.

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P.O.

answers from Seattle on

You may want to check out information on Elimination Communication. You can do a search on-line or visit http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/. I have been doing this with my son since he was 8 months old (we had a lot of issues with diaper rash even with cloth diapers). We only have done EC part-time and have been most successful at having him pee on the toilet after waking up in the morning or after nap time. At 21 months he is more frequently stating he needs to pee or will go directly to a toilet if he is diaper-free and it is close by. I am also having more success with having him poop on the toilet (which is more about timing).

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S.L.

answers from New York on

I think you can try having him sit on the potty several times a day with no pressure to preform just praise for sitting without pants. If he fights it and its upset let it go for a while, if he's fine with it keep it up

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

A few years ago, I googled "Toilet Learning" and found a University of Michigan site for early childhood ed students. It gives the most comprehensive (yet, really very simple) way to assess a child's readiness. The window for toilet learning* (supporting the child to learn their body's cues that tell them when they need to use the toilet) is rather wide...and can go as late as 38+ months. Some will disagree, but with 18+ years experience of helping children and their families with this task, I have to say that it's easier if we start when the child is ready-- so you're on the right track.

My son wasn't ready until he was about 38 months old, and it's been so simple-- I think we've had all of 5 accidents since he started wearing underpants.:) The url of the article will say something like "angel units"-- I've used this info and had just the best results over anything else I've read. It will help you to see which area's he's ready in and if/where he needs more readiness or development. Best wishes!

*toilet learning is a newer approach to toilet learning which relies on the child's motivation and readiness.... it's a slightly different approach to the traditional stickers and candy potty training. This method is becoming used by more and more early childhood educators, because it respects the child's process and because it really works well for everyone. Not saying that potty training is bad, it's just that we have better research and understand how children learn so much better than we used to. :)

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

I've read (and experienced with my daughter) that you have a window of opportunity when: 1) your child is interested, 2) they're giving you cues that they are ready, and 3) they're not old enough to want to turn it into a poewer struggle.
It sounds like you son might be ready. He understands what's going on & is interested. If you wait too long & don't respond with potty training when he's telling you he's going poo... he might get the message that going poo & pee in diapers is 'the way to do it' and then he'll be much more resistent later.
Good luck. Every child is different but it's so nice to be done with diapers. :)

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

With my oldest we introduced sitting on the potty occasionally around 2, especially during or after bath. We checked out various potty books from the library. She started staying dry longer. Completely potty trained day and night by 3yr 2 months. I didn't push as i was a stay-at-home mom with dad gone so doing it myself with a 1 yr old at home too. when she was ready it was easy.
My second is 22 months and not showing intrest in peeing on the potty, although he is sitting on it after bath. We need to start books. It makes it less stressful.

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