My husband and I both work full time. We have three kids who are the love of our lives. How do you find time to be intimante with each other and how often a week? Some times we can go weeks without it cause were both to tired or just can't find the time. Our 3 kids go to bed at 8:30 and we both fall into bed at 9:00-9:30 cause we both get up very early. We don't have the money to go on a vacation so I am looking for practical ideas or suggestions that would work not just temperarly.
i heard of one couple that would set their alarm for 2 am, and just take that time to be intimate. its probably hard because you are gonna be tired, but trust me, when you actually do it its such a relief to be able to be intimate without distraction that the exhaustion doesnt matter. LOL
I just posted pretty much the same question this morning. We are going to the in laws this weekend and they want to watch the kids so we can go out together so we are going to take them up on the offer. Then I plan on make more of an effort to spend more time with just us turning off the tv and just being together once the kids are in bed I think it's ok that you shut the door and just tell them that mommy and daddy need some time together alone. At least that is what we plan on doing. Good Luck and God bless
If you have a friend, family member that could help you out that would be great. Maybe if you can ease up on the work scheldue a little. You could also make sure your children are helping quit a bit around the house to make you and your husbands jobs around the house alot easier. Maybe realize it's okay if the floor don't get vacumed daily, dishes can wait till tomorrow. Just simple things that you think don't matter is what wears you out.
Well...what works best for us, is morning sex. You guys could always shower together? My DH is a complete bear if he does not get enough love...we have sex at least 3x a week...but he tries for 7 :)
It never fails...our kids seem to have a 6th sense about when we are getting lovey...they always come find us...at this point we just laugh, what else are you supposed to do? I will admit that weekends are a bit tougher to manage than we would like...but we usually set them up with an activity and flee to our room...or just linger in bed for a very long time:)
~The up side of having morning sex is it seems to be on your mind all day and inevitably come bed time one or both is ready to do it again...no matter how tired we are! You might want to try it out...get the love sparks flowing again....it really is true, the more you do it, the more you want to do it. So you guys might have just got yourself in a rut being too tired...then you don't do it and it gets harder and harder to make/find the time...we have all been there!
I have three kids too and i have the same issues! Our kids are in bed by 8.00pm and we too are to wiped out to make time for ourselves. But, as hard as it is, we try and find time or schedule a date whether it be outside the home or in home. Sometimes I will get a movie and make some popcorn and watch a movie in our room with the door shut and monitors on. Never fails, either my 7 month old or 2 yr old wakes up crying and interrupts our date night. I guess this is the joy of having young babies. Even when we are both dog tired, we have to really push ourselves to make time for each other. Also, if you have the financial means, even going out one night a month is good for you. We usually go to dinner and the most we are out in one night is 2-3 hours. Just spending that quality time alone is good for the soul! Do you have in laws or parents that can watch the kids one night while you and your husband have some time alone? I know this sounds crazy, but i told my husband not to long ago, we should ask my mother to come and spend the night with the kids and we will go to a hotel for the night, that way we have no interruptions. We could go hot tubbing and then our for dinner and come back to the motel for a nice quiet evening just the two of us! I know that cost money, so you might have to save up for that.
Good luck!
The best advice I've heard is SCHEDULE IT. Date night. Even if it's not a date night out, with a sitter and nice dinner...sometimes DH and I just get a library movie or NetFlix rental and cuddle up on the couch.
For us, doing THE DEED has been scarce since we have a 6, 5 and infant. I think sometimes you just are in "survival mode" and relish sleep or family time more than the S.E.X. It's not that we don't miss it, but like you, it just doesn't happen.
I do think a date night with a sitter once a month is important tho. Whether it's a paid sitter, overnighter with Grandma and Grandpa, etc. If you don't have one, find a good sitter in a neighbor, church friend or local community college. I find "adults" better than high schoolers who can be immature, inexperienced and not available.
Try not to be so focused on the S.E.X. Focus on cuddling, spending quality time together and having conversations that don't involve the kids or work.
I completely understand! The single best thing we ever did was to initiate date night. We were fortunate enough to find a girl that lived in our area that didn't have access to a washer and dryer. We trade her~ she washes her clothes using our supplies, she watches the kids!!! Even on the weeks we don't have the cash for an actual "date" we will grab a bottle of wine, the recent NetFlix movie and head to our room. The door is locked and everyone knows we are off limits. On the rare occurrence that we are needed, they call the cell phone. It gives us time to be together, no laundry, no phone calls, no whining, just US! It will reconnect you and then the rest works out. For so many, just the pressure of "having" to be intimate will put you out of the mood. We made a general rule to never go more then a day or two with out at least a "quicky" to keep us connected and satisfied. Also grandparents can take kids for a weekend, and I know I loved having a girlfriend to swap kids with for sleepovers. One weekend our house, next weekend hers. With a little creativity it's doable (forgive the pun!) to have kids and a marriage with sex! You may be a little tired, but it's worth it to be happy and satisfied. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the occasional
cat~nap in the car at lunch :)
Good Luck!!!
H.
When we're both in the mood, we get up a little early in the morning and enjoy each other's company before the kids get up.
We wake up 30 minutes earlier than normal on the days we want to be frisky. At night before we go to bed just doesn't work. Morning weekday nookie may seem odd but hey our sex drive doesn't know the difference. We are exhausted with our 4 and 1 year old at bedtime. All we want to do is crash. So one of us will say with a giggle let's get up 30 minutes early ; ) ~ We have energy, and the kids aren't up so it's the perfect time for us. So about once or twice a week we wake up early.
