How Do You Feel About Pictures of Ex's on Your Husbands...

Updated on December 13, 2012
M.L. asks from Los Gatos, CA
21 answers

How do you ladies feel about pictures on your husbands facebook page? My husbands ex girlfriend tagged him in a picture from when they were together. I'm not going to lie it bugs me a bit. Wondering how other woman would feel about it. A part of me doesn't mind and realizes its just a picture from his past and doesn't mean anything. But the insecure part of me doesn't really like it.

Reply... She basically came out of nowhere and it's a picture with their arms around each other smiling. Granted its a picture from highschool so it was awhile ago but I know he loved her a lot and she cheated on him and really hurt him. But they weren't always friends on facebook, just within the year. He told me before he thought he was going to marry her. All of your confident answers surprisingly make me feel better though and less insecure. I admit I'm not very secure and it's something I need to work on. I recently had a baby so I just feel fat most of the time and not myself as I did last year so I let my jealousy get to me. This one girl he had dated when we were having some problems and we split up for a few months always writes things on his facebook and it bugs me a lot but its probably for no reason because he did marry me. Maybe I just need to check myself and realize whats important.

Mom2KCK, we have some issues in our marriage so he doesn't show me as much as I need him too. It would help a lot if he did.

What can I do next?

  • Add your own comment
  • Ask your own question
  • Join the Mamapedia community
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I guess everybody has a different preference. It still kinda bugs me though.
To Stephanie, I wish I had his password so I could check but I don't. You are right though, when you have a hunch as a woman than something is up

Featured Answers



answers from Honolulu on

It wouldn't bug me.
That is me.
Ditto Jo W. below.

My Husband has FB and shows me whatever is on it.
No biggie.
He has a couple of Ex girlfriends on it. He told me. He shows me.
No biggie.
Because I trust him. And I know those other girls have their own lives.
And we do too.

The problem arises when, a person cannot realize they have a different life now. That was then, this is now.
Everyone has a past and past Ex's.
I had tons of Ex's and all kinds of relationships. They really don't affect me anymore.
It is just a past memory.
It is the past.
This is now.

Everyone has a past and different body shapes and lives.

Edit My Answer
4 moms found this helpful


answers from Eau Claire on

Maybe he's only friends with her to show off how HAPPY he is with YOU now? I would do that if I had had any 'serious' ex's, lol

Edit My Answer
2 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Boston on

I think the problem is in your last paragraph. You have issues and so the presence of photos ticks you off and makes you feel insecure, AND he isn't open and honest with you but instead hides things.

So the photos are not the problem. The lack of trust and other underlying issues are the problem.

I talk to the guy who took me to the big dance in high school, and we saw each other occasionally when he lived closer to me. And my husband has lunch a couple of times a year with a woman he dated in high school. Neither one of us has any problem with this because we have complete trust, we tell each other what's going on, and we're thrilled that the other has friendships where old times can be laughed about. However, neither of us has ever even been close to a moment of scandal or cheating or indiscretion.

You admit you are not feeling very secure, and it's not clear to me if your husband feels he's "protecting" you by not disclosing more, or if he's hiding something. Sounds like this woman came out of nowhere and friended him, then posted an old picture. If she doesn't have designs on him, great. If she does, they you and he together have to discuss it and see what the best way is to handle it. Maybe he should un-friend her if she's going to be a problem. But if this is just an on-line high school reunion, and if both your husband and she are happy in their separate lives, it's not a problem. If he's saying to her, "Oh, my wife and I looked at this photo and neither of us could believe how young I looked then" or "I'm not showing this to the baby or I'll scare her to death" then that's great. It lets her (and the world) know where his priorities are. If he's not talking about you or the baby on FB, and again, if he's not showing you things, that is a bigger issue.

I'd look at the deeper problems that make this photo a problem, not at the photo itself.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

I wouldn't have a problem with it. He is my husband now, those pictures are of the events that shaped this wonderful man.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Don't care at all. My hubby had a life before me so pictures of that life turn up now and again.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I like to say it wouldn't bother me, but it might. He loved her. So that's got to be hard. But he loves you now. So in my view, does he make sure you know he loves you? You have no reason to think otherwise? If that's the case, let it go.

If that isn't the case, the issues are more than a picture and you should talk about it.

So yea, while it may bother me, I would talk to him about and know that it's okay, because I'm the one he loves.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

if she;s still an active friend it wouldnt bug M.. if it was a very serious relationship and she J. appeared out of nowhere it would bug M. a bit but because of her intentions not because of a photo.
It also depends how old the photos were
if they are from highschool -sure thats the past
if they are J. from a few years ago (meaning he hasnt aged much)- then i'd wonder why she is tagging him

Also what is the photo? a group shot, or J. them two hugging?
either way i wouldnt be upset with my significant other but if it seemed he was being very foward I would probably be bugged by her

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

My husband and I are friends with some of his old girlfriends, but I am the one he married. There are old photos of us on there with other friends from other times in our lives.. But we love each other and accept that we were not always together.

Your body is the way it is right now, because you have given life made from you and your husbands love. This is a beautiful and magical thing. Be proud of your body, whatever its condition, you have earned it.

I would consider as an enhancement to your marriage, the 2 of you go to marriage counseling. This was a great help to me and my husband. We learned how to speak and really listen to each other..your marriage is worth the effort.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Unless the former wife is the mother of HIS other children, no pictures of former girl friends.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

Not only do my husband and I both have pictures of high school dates on our facebook pages, but I just took pictures of him with his high school flame at his 25th reunion. If he was corresponding regularly and sharing jokes and creating a present history, that would bother me. But it's past history, not present, and it's distant past.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

I would not care at all. He has exs on facebook, as do i, because they are a part of our past, a part of who we became, and they are still friends. It really is no different then some other old buddy of his posting a picture of them together. Don't let it get to you, no matter what there is a reason she is his past and you are his present and future.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boca Raton on

Why does he have a Facebook account? My husband wouldn't touch one with a 10-foot pole. I'm surprised he puts any time into it.

I know that sounds hypocritical - most of us women folks have one! My husband has just never expressed an interest. He won't even do LinkedIn.

Yes, it *would* bother me. Just being honest. He could block her so at least he wouldn't see the tag on his page (right?).


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

We can a mature adult and still not like this. I would not like it all. I am a jealous person and I would probably delete his fb for having ex's on it. I guess I am not mature!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

If you are worried about the relationship then ask him. You as his wife have the right to know what he is doing on FB. It might be nothing, but if your gut senses that something is not right then check in to it. About 6 months ago I found a messege that was sent to my husband from his ex of about 30 years ago and was in shock at what I read. They were going back and forth with flirty words and reminissing (sp?) on the old times. This really bothered me, so I confronted him about it. To make a long story short he is no longer friends with this woman on FB out of respect for me and our family and marriage. I am not saying that your hubby is doing this too, but you need to let him know that it does bother you and that you are not ok with it. He should respect you and do what is right by you. Hope it all works out!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Indianapolis on

Why does he have exs on his facebook?

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Provo on

You have good reason to have your trust in him shaken so don't blame yourself or give explanations for his behavior. Instead, ask him his reasons for being friends with her and allowing himself to be tagged in her picture. Then tell him how you feel about it. Whether your feelings are logical or not, in this area, he should be doing all he can to convince you that he truly is committed to only you instead of walking the fence. Be strong.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

Pictures from high school wouldn't bother me a bit, though if it were my hubby, he would right-click and save the pic (for the 'look how silly you looked back then' album) and un-tag himself from the photo. husband would also never friend an ex on Facebook. Nothing good comes from that. Exes tend to come along and make trouble, stirring up old memories (softened by time).

We believe that you should put hedges of protection around your marriage. You shouldn't put your marriage into compromising positions, in real life or online. Your husband's continuing to be friends with someone he dated while you two were on the rocks, and allowing her to write things on his wall, is concerning to me....because, in my opinion, it shows how little he respects or protects your marriage relationship.

I don't think this is an unfair jealousy issue on your part, I think that your jealousy is well and fairly founded on the lack of respect that your husband has for your marriage and protecting that marriage. And I think that, unless you both seek some guidance from a marriage therapist or pastor, your marriage is going to suffer. Please seek help.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

The longer you are together the less it will bother you!
My husband and I have been together for over twenty years and we are both FB friends with people we dated long ago, and sometimes we are tagged in old photos. It's fun to remember the good old days, or the good YOUNG days I should say, lol! :-)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I have wedding pictures of my first wedding on my fb photo page. It's not a big deal to me. My daughter likes to see them and so do some of my friends who were in the wedding. My hubby now is friends with my ex and his wife too. We have stayed with them on an occasion or two. They are great people.

We do have a mature and adult relationship though. We disagree and argue but still love each other dearly, I like her better than my ex though. He's okay but that's because she made a good man out of him while she was raising him



answers from Baton Rouge on

Exes never bothered me, nor did former FWB's who were still friends. The ex was a part of his life at one point, and is part of the reason he is the man you fell in love with. Either you trust him or you don't. What the ex does or doesn't do, what pictures she posts, all of that is irrelevant to your relationship. The only thing that matters is HIS response to it.
If he comments on the high school pic, "I remember that day. It rained all through the pep rally and we got soaked," no big deal.
If he comments "I wish we could make love again the way we did right after that pic was taken," THEN you have an issue.



answers from Los Angeles on

Yes it would bother me. We all have a past but to post it on line is disrespectful to you. I also don't believe in having your ex loves on Facebook. If it makes you feel bad he should not do it. Period.

Next question: Hubby and Facebook