How Do You Discipline a 11 Month Old?

Well, not that I don't believe in spanking, but at 11 months it's not necessary. As far as putting them in their crib for 10 minutes, that's a little much. The standard for time outs are 1 minute per age, which means his would be 1 minute in timeout. Make a designated timeout spot, like the kitchen table or a small chair or stool in the corner. If you can, get a kitchen timer and set it for one minute so he knows when his timeout is over. The most important thing is to be consistant and tell him why he is going to timeout. He will eventually get it. Hope this helps!!

Hi N.,
I think you should definitely discipline him.I use time outs & distractions on my son. I use a port-a crib for the time outs.I put him in for 2 minutes,that's how long their memory is at this age.If they are in there for 10 minutes they have no idea why they are crying in their cribs. It's tough at this age because they don't understand.Even after the time outs and such,he will continue with his "naughty" behavior because he will forget.He is also exerting his independence. I think it takes TONS of patience on our bahalf but eventually he will get it.My son is 1 1/2 and he still does'nt understand alot of why he is disciplined.Anyway there is my two cents. I hope it helps! Good luck!!!!

Hi N.,
I have 3 children who have all "been there, done that". They are now in their teens and pre-teens and have outgrown the tantrums. When they were young, I never gave in to the behavior but I never tried a corrective measure because I believe that they were too young at that age to make the connection. Keep things positive and don't react to the behavior because a reaction is reinforcement. For example, maybe your baby tightens up and throws his body back to resist the car seat. Well, continue to put him in the car seat and say "you are going in the car seat because that is the best place for you and I love you" while you are buckling him in. Act as if his behavior doesn't change the situation at all and he will learn that the bad behavior doesn't work. Continue to be consistent and never give in to the behavior. When he gets older and throws a tantrum in the store, say "Mommy can't hear whining" and continue on with your shopping. However, if others are unduly disturbed or if he continues for a long time,be prepared to leave the store and take appropriate action at home. But I have tried to keep the consequences appropriate to their mental abilities. This too shall pass--hang in their and enjoy parenting, the time goes by too fast!!! K.

personally I do not believe that a baby can be manipulative, meaning I don't think your baby is putting any kind of thougth process into his behaviors. so, I don't believe in time out for this age.

really you have to give your son the words he needs. he most likely won't be saying them along with you any time soon, but it is good to start to help him with the vocabulary of what he is doing. like "that HURTS mommy!" or "you are SO SAD mommy took that toy from you!"

I recommend removing him from situations, rather than always saying "no" because if you always say "no" then it doesn't mean anything at all to him- all he'll hear is "blah blah blah'

You say: "I have tried distracting him with toys, leaving the room, pulling him away before he even gets into a situation that I would say no to. I don't know what else to do."

you're doing the right things! hang in there!

this site (and the links from here) have really helped me:
http://joanneaz_2.tripod.com/positivedisciplineresourcece...

I agree with you that at his age he does not understand time out or spanking, etc. Even when children are older they will usually not remember their action. I know as a child if my mom grounded me I wasn't thinking about what I did, but only about how mean my Mom was and how she didn't understand me. Somehow the child's focus becomes what you as a parent did in reaction instead of the child's actions. Which is of course not going to help the child learn from what they did and understand why they shouldn't do it.

Check out the following link.

http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/index.html

The website has free articles to read that were very helpful to me and they also sell a book and cd specifically for age birth to five which was very helpful to me.

You do not have to be part of a power struggle with your child but can find a loving way to enjoy eachother and learn from eachother.

Enjoy the journey!
A.

Hi N.,
We've been in the same situation. Our now 15 month old, started throwing mini-tantrums a few months ago. I noticed that she usually had her breakdowns right before dinner or right before bedtime. So, I figure she's either hungry (before dinner), or tired (before bed). Our daughter too will start crying if we tell her no. It's as though we've said we don't love her- she gets so upset. So, instead of that, when we can we've started using distraction if she's getting into something she's not supposed to. It seems to help. Also, if it's right before dinner, I give her a snack to tide her over. That seems to help a lot. Even if it's just a cup of milk for her to carry around, she's happier and can wait until dinner's ready.
I've heard a minute of time-out for every year of age, and I don't know if it's really effective for children under 1 or 2 either. If you tell him no, and he stops (even if he cries), then I would think that's working. I usually tell our daugther no, she'll start crying and so then I wait a little bit (not even a minute) and then I go pick her up and we go find something else for her to do. I've also walked out of the room if she's throwing a tantrum. I just calm-ly tell her I'll be in the kitchen whenever she's ready to come out, and then I go. She'll cry for a little bit, but then she'll usually follow me to see what I'm doing.
From what you said, it sounds like you're doing a good job. I would try to see if there's a pattern of when he's getting upset. You might be able to figure out what his triggers are and then have an easier time avoiding them (like giving a snack before he gets hungry, or getting him ready for bed a little earlier). Good luck!
J.

My son is now 16 months old and began to exert his independance right around the same age as your son. All children go through it...it's a healthy sign of development, frustrating, but normal!!
I basically distract him, a form of "changing the subject". I sing a silly song or suggest is favorite toy/book. Once he realizes that he doesn't need to act like that to get the attention he wants the novilty will wear off.
I disagree with time out at his age (I still don't use time out for my son) especially in his crib--that's his safe place. At such a young age they can not comprehend right from wrong, not to mention discipline.
As with every other frustrating phase, he should outgrow this one as well...until then maintain patience and give your little guy lots of attention BEFORE he goes into monster mode :)

Hi N.,

As a mother of a two year old, they really can test our patience as parents. I'm lucky though, my son isn't the hellion that I have observed alot of other two year olds being. Even so I went to a disciplining seminar. They said discipline your child for time out for how ever old they are in years. For example, a one year old gets a one minute time out, a two year old a two minute...and so on.

It really does work. I gave my son a two minute time out, even though he of course was still crying when released from time out, he calmed down right away.

Also try reading the book or watching the video "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." by Dr. Harvey Karp. He gives some really good suggestions.

Hope you find some help from not only my advice but the other posters as well.

Good Luck!

An 11 month old does not understand time out. Honestly, kids need to be about 3 years old before time out actually works. Otherwise it is just a break for mom. You cannot discipline him with negative behaviors. Only praise his positive behaviors. And teach him.

BTW, a child who is old enough to understand time out should only be in it for one minute per age of life (i.e., a 4 year old should be in time out for 4 minutes).

My 14 month old started that when she was about 11 months old and I just ignored it and after a couple of times of me ignoring her temper tantrums she stopped. She still has the occasional temper tantrum but my husband and I ignore it and she stops. At such a young age, I don't think they are capable of understanding what time out means or remembering what they did wrong.

My son is now 11 mnths old, he started acting out as you described about 1 1/2 mnth ago. I wasn't sure what to do and it was really starting to push my buttons, as I'm not perfect and I do have stress and anxiety limits, as do the rest of you.

When I first sat down and thought about disipline, I wasn't sure of the right method, I grew up on spankings, timeouts and the big "N" word(no). I always said I would never do those things to my child, because they didn't have much of an effect on me. However, No is a very powerful word in our home. My son knows, that when he is told know, that is his last chance, or he will be removed from the situation. We do not give timeouts, but we removed him and let him sit with us on the couch and we talk to him. I believe that even if he doesn't graps everything that I am saying or what exactly it means, that he will catch on sooner or later. So we explain to him what he was doing and why it was wrong or dangerous. We also do NOT tolerate tantrums. I do not allow my child to act up in public or at home, whether with company or not. I'm not sure how I trained him this way, but when he was younger I would give him a very firm no and raise my eyebrow(it's a bad habit), now if he starts acting up, all I have to do is raise my eyebrow.

Everyone I know says that with or without me he's the best behaved child they know.

I wish I had the ultimate answer for you, but I think that it's a learning process and that you've got to figure out what works for you and you're son.