How Do You Decide What to Get Your Children for Christmas?

Updated on November 25, 2011
R.S. asks from San Antonio, TX
26 answers

I am just asking away with the questions today...

I have about $200...give or take for each of my kids for Christmas.

I have made lists of what each child would like to receive. I can purchase just about everything on my daughter's list easily for that amount (around 12 items). My son on the other hand is much more difficult...I can get him the Nintendo dsi and maybe two games OR I could go with a couple of xbox 360 games and a couple of lego kits or board games.

My question get them both quite a few things to open as in number of things OR get him the big ticket item and his sister the multiple little items? He is seven and she is four...I am not sure if he can understand yet cost vs number of presents to open.

My husband is no help...he tells me they need nothing and so don't buy them anything...I think he just doesn't want to have to shop or make any decisions.

EDITED:
Wow...I didn't even realize $200 each was too much for some...I stash away $5 or $10 per kid per pay period all year long in an envelope and what is in there at the end of the year is kid Christmas present money

The twelve things for the four year old involve a doodle bear with stamps and markers (three items) little pet shop house with a couple of pets (five items), items for her play kitchen (four items)...so I didn't think it was a super lot...just small things added up.

I am still debating...on the seven year old...I will let you know how it goes thanks!!

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B.P.

answers from New York on

No way would I give a child 12 gifts even if I was finacially able or if it was my only child. 200 dollars for a kid under the age of 6 or 7 is ridiculous in my opinion. But for an older child, game systems can be expensive. Does he really want the lego and board games or does he want the dsi? I think you need to ask him what he really wants even if he does believe Santa brings the presents. You can also get him a couple really small things like maybe a candy that he really likes and he doesn't get usually so he has more than 3 presents to open.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

we usually keep the boy's presents to three - kinda like the 3 wise men - and then stocking stuffers. May not sound like much - but we REALLY try to keep Christmas about Christ and not the materialistic/commercialized "thing" it's become.

With $200 - you can get TWO XBOX games.

A few years back - Matchbox actually had cars instead pieces of coal (not real coal - plastic) and we use that too - as the boys aren't perfect!!! :)

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

I try to have the same number of gifts for each kid to open. If one child has a big ticket item, their additional gifts may be things like chocolates, a bag of their favorite cookies, inexpensive game or lego kit, or dollar store items like a flashlight. Opening gifts is half the fun, and kids often don't know what things cost so this way no one feels left out.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hmm, I wouldn't split the cost evenly. I'd make sure they open the same amount of things.

My kids know about the value of money, so they know if they ask for BIG gifts, they may get less other stuff.

This year we were blessed and have been able to get them everything we want to, but in previous years, i've made sure they both have the same amount of things to open...at least about.

6 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I would ask him "If you had to pick betwen the DSI or getting several xbox 360 games and other things, which would you prefer?". Use that as a guide for which way to go. You can also was say that he needs to prioritize his list for Santa since he can't get everything on his list and Santa needs to know what is most important to him. If he chooses the latter, I would try to find him some other "big" gift that isn't necessarily expensive.

I have my kids write a list and I try to get at least one of the bigger items on it, many others from the list, and few surprises. A few years ago, my son added to his list just days before and I already had what he added. He realized I knew him too well...

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

I have a list of things they are in need of & purchased those first,then I have a list of what they wish for from Santa & things I would like to get for them.I also go into their rooms & see what they have too much of what they play with more often than other similar items on their wish list.There is no junk nor candy this year.I have 3 to buy for this year 4 next year so they all receive the same amount of items to open even though they know how much things cost especially my 2 older children 8&4.I'am almost done buying all my things for them just a few more then a few more when dad tells me to buy them more.I have shopped with coupons this time around & have saved money to buy more later,this mama never buys an item at full price

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think he would feel left out, no matter what age a person is when someone else is opening more they feel it.

Game stop in my town has a whole table top of DSI games for $1.99 up to $4.99. He could get a few more that way if you have one in your area.

Plus there are always other things to get someone like their favorite collectible, I like mice things so I always get a few ornaments or paper items like thank you notes with that theme. Hubby spent all my Christmas on House Mouse stuff and I loved it!

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I actually think most men make more sense in terms of what our kids do and don't need. Kids love playing with boxes. Half the toys kids think they want, they never play with, or do for only a few minutes here or there. Basically, they need some basic toys (like blocks) and some books, and they would all be super happy. The thing is, us moms would feel like we aren't providing them with enough educational materials. It's funny, really, because our ancestors knew more than us, and they didn't have all these wonderful toys.

I do it this way, my kids get one gift from each family member and then one bigger gift from Santa, plus a stocking. I don't keep track of how much I spend on each kid, because they are too little to understand cost vs. size. So, I make sure they have an equal number of presents because that's what the oldest will care about.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

YES... your 7 year old son can understand that quantity does not equal, cost.
My son is 5 and understands that.

Per Xbox games... the "Skylanders" starter pack is on sale now for $49.99. Regular price is $69.99
I got it from Toys R Us, and it was free shipping.
Just FYI.
It is a really popular game now, for kids but adults are buying it too for themselves.
Or, the Lego series of Xbox games. My whole family, including me and my Husband, like those.

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S.2.

answers from Raleigh on

That's a tough one. Last year, when my girls were 6 and 8 the 8 year old counted up the number of gifts for her and for her sister. She couldn't have cared less at the time what was in each gift and the cost of it, she was solely concerned with the evenness of the number of gifts. It'd be fantastic if your 7y/o would graciously understand his 3 or 4 gifts were the same overall price as his little sisters 12 gifts, but don't count on it! Before last year I would've answered your question by saying just spend the same on each...but after last year I'd say screw the cost of stuff, make sure there's an even number of gifts for each.

So...I'm not much help I guess! I'm just going to repeat what I did last year..keeping the quantity equal. :)

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C.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I always get my girls the same number of gifts to open. This year they are only getting two things from Santa, and then four things from mom and dad. They each got a scooter and a stuffed animal from Santa and of course stocking stuffers but that is it. My husband and I will be getting them each a book, a special toy/game they want, clothes they need, and then a little bigger surprise type thing. I use to go way overboard with Christmas gifts, but when I was laid off from my job, I realized that they do not need all that stuff. They still had a good Christmas morning thanks to two families adopting ours the past two years. They were taught you do not need a million gifts under the tree to have a good Christmas. Best lesson for them learn at an early age in my opinion!

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I go with what they need first, then wants.

In your situation, I think 12 things for a 4y would be a bit much, and way outbalanced under the tree. I don't think your son will understand price vs quantity.

Personally, I would go with the xbox games and some legos. Look at gamestop.com or your local GameStop. I only get my games at GameStop. Then I would get daughter around the same # of gifts.

Also be sure to get one or two things that they can play with where you open presents. My son got a Wii one year from the Grandparents at their house (said it was from Santa, grumble!) so 4 presents including games. His cousin got like 10+ gifts that took forever to open and then the cousin had all of this stuff to play with while my son had nothing because the Wii was meant for our house. Just a thought.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

If you buy your sons video games at Game Stop used, you will have enough money left to buy a lego set and a board game.

My husband doesn't want me to buy stuff that he will have to pick up. He thinks they have too many toys now, so he's notorious for pitching them. That's why this year I am going for more big ticket items. I dont think my kids necessarily count toys, but I do try and keep things fairly even. I'm getting them each a couple big deal presents and a couple little things.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

$200 each for a four-year-old and a seven-year-old?? Seriously, WHY?!? What are you going to do when they are teenagers?!?

I'm with your husband.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

This is hard. I am leaning towards saying getting your son the DSI, he seems at that age where it might be really important to him. Although I understand that he might not get the concept of money, if that's what he really wants, I'd probably go for it. Maybe you could get him some other stuff, like small cheap stuff to go along with it to equal the same number of gifts as his sister? Probably ask him which he'd want more (xbox games or dsi) and go from there. You could always pose it as he needs to be specific in his letter to Santa so Santa doesn't get confused! I don't know, honestly. My kids are only 4 and 2 so I'm not quite there yet, but I know I will be soon! Let us know what you do so that I can be prepared for it when I get there! ;)

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J.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Interesting question...I'll have to read the other answers. My K. are 4 and 7 months, so I don't think it will be an issue for awhile, BUT, I know my mom "claims" I used to count the presents under the tree. (I did no such thing--I just shook all the boxes to try to figure out what was in them). She always made sure that my brother and I got the exact same number of presents and spent roughly the same amount on each of us. (I think she still does this and we are both in our 30s!) She'd also try to get us as many of the same things as she could. For instance, we both got PJs, a game, books, etc.
Do you think your son will care if his sister gets more presents? I can see my 4 year old having an issue with this if his sister got significantly more (but that's just my kid!) I'm not sure how we will handle it this year since she's still a baby, but I think in future years, we will try to keep in pretty equal. Maybe one larger gift and a couple of smaller ones.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

I suppose I would try to make sure each one had the same number of gifts, without much regard for the total cost. The younger kid won't know the difference this year, but that won't always be the case, so take advantage of that.
For my kids, I would never even consider getting them everything one their lists, ever. It's not an issue of money, its just not what I want my kids to get from the holiday. My sons will get one gift from dad and I, and one or two from Santa. That's it. We could afford more, but they will be thrilled with this, so we are not buying more.

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A.E.

answers from Austin on

A typical 7 yo does not understand the cost/budget idea. Go for quantity on him as well. The lesson is: you get some things, not everything, you want for Christmas We are having the same issue with our 5yo. However when they are older, 11 or so, they better understand. Last year I waited in line all night for a $198 laptop for my almost 12 yo. She understood why she 'got less items' but was totally thrilled.

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P.B.

answers from Houston on

You need to have the same number of gifts for both and I agree with most everyone else - why spend $200 on each??? Christmas is NOT about the gifts and our culture has certainly promoted spend, spend, spend, but you don't have to get caught up in it. Make a stand NOW.

My kids are 20 and 17 and they each get 1 gift and the rest is spent on a battered woman and HER kids. My children help shop for THEM!!! We've been doing that for YEARS!!

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

We try to limit it to 3 gifts from us and 1 gift from Santa. We have a 7 year old and a 1 year old this Christmas. The 7 year old started to ask me why her cousins get more gifts at Christmas than she does. It's because we spend Christmas at her uncles house, so of course his grandkids are going to get more gifts - she still gets plenty of gifts and I hate that she is already thinking about how many gifts she will get. Kids don't understand really how much things cost yet. It's all about their perception of fairness. I had a friend who would "group" gifts so that they got wrapped up the same number of gifts per kid. My daughter loves her pet shop toys by the way and has been playing with them since age 4 and they get played with almost every day for the past 3 years - the doodle bear rarely got played with, but her kitchen items still get used as well. (if that helps you make any decisions.)

Hope you have a happy Christmas!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

When SS was about 11 his cost per item was higher than SD's and we explained to them both that one $50 game was equal to several less-expensive toys. We didn't want SD to gloat or SS to feel left out. If you think that he doesn't understand that yet, go with the more items to be more equal with number of gifts.

Something my DD has enjoyed and I will continue are nature magazines, often available for $15 a year. She loves getting mail.

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

Last year my daughter was 5 and got a big gift from her Grandma & Grandpa while her other cousins got multiple gifts. She did ask, why others got more and Grandma explained it...and she said ok...and moved on.

If your son really wants an expensive gift then he needs to understand why he is only getting a couple things. I think he's old enough to understand that.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

i think it depends on the kid. i personally like one or two big ticket items while my husband really likes a lot of little things.

i would opt for what your son wants the most. if he cannot decide i would get the xbox 360 games, lego kits and board games.

do not worry about others thoughts on the amount you spend. its goes on what you can afford. millionaires and welfare parents arent going to spend the same amounts.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I would get the son a nice gift and a few smaller ones. The daughter could get small gifts. I don't think I would spend $200 a piece on them at this age.

When the kids were younger and you could get catalogs for Christmas we would give the kids each a colored crayon and let them mark away. Afterwards we woud go over all the marked items and decide what would go with them and how many. They were thrilled because they didn't know what they were getting from the book(s) but they knew they would get something.

We used to get our son one of the big items and a few small gifts. Our daughter got smaller gifts. Each had the same amount spent on them. Our son asked why sister had more gifts than he (13) and we explained to him that he always wanted the big things and that she didn't ask for anything special and was happy with what she got.

Don't start something that you can't continue in the future. Christmas is about the child and not about gifts only.

Maybe you coud do a special trip to a museum or something as part of a gift.

Have a great holiday season.

The other S.

PS I once went to a cousin's house that bought her 1 year old every gift under the sun and it looked like a toy store in the house for Christmas. There was no way possible that that kid could play with everything without outgrowing most of it. Definitely person gone overboard. You couldn't walk in the room beause of the stuff.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Well, I get together with grandparents and aunts uncles etc and discuss my budget and the kid's wishes and we all make group choices. Like this year my 5y/o needs a twin bed (he had to have a toddler bed for certain reasons) so that is his gift this year and grandma has chosen to buy his bed! Yeah a cost I do not have to suffer!!! So, this year his gift is bed set related, we are buying him a bed set and so is his aunt ... not sure about his uncle but you can not have too many kid's bed sets in my opinion! Last year we chose to buy him a Wii so everyone's gift was Wii based. Games, gift cards, accessories etc. Today the "Christmas" email went out and we began our discussion of the gifts ... there are 8 kids on this side alone! So, grandma starts it off typically with the big ticket items like last year all the girls got iPod Touches and this year the older boys are getting thiers last year they got the 360 kinect and everyone buys based on the big ticket one that grandma gets. I personally would get him the big ticket item and get her the little ones. Plus with the DSi ... go used it can go a long way! I have always had good quality from Game Stop on used items and never had a problem returning if needed. They even overrided the parental controls on a used PS2 system we bought. I have never understood quantity over quality personally.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Your 7 yr. old isn't old enough to understand the costs of the gifts. He will not see the costs being fairly equal, on Christmas Day, he will only see the # of gifts. Have been there, done that, handled the meltdown and an unhappy child who ruined Christmas for everyone.

1) I would not go with the DSI. It is too time invasive and your 7 yr old will be on it all the time. Way more than a 7 yr old needs to be. A 7 yr old should be out running and playing, and going to friends' homes. I know of several 7, 8, 9 yr olds who are on their games all winter. Their parents tell me this every spring when they come back to my summer swim team and are 20 lbs overweight.

2) We never got out kids everything on their list. We would pick some things they needed and a few of their wants. I thought it was a bad idea to give them their whole list....so I never did.

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