How Do We Transition from Rocking to Sleep to Putting Our Baby in Bed Awake.

Updated on November 03, 2008
J.E. asks from Allen, TX
21 answers

My daughter is eight months old and we have always swaddled and rocked her to sleep - for both naps and nighttime. This works well for us - baby sleeps well (sleeps 11 1/2 hours at night, 1 1/2 hour morning nap and 1 to 1 1/2 hour afternoon nap, plus a 30 minute evening nap.) If she wakes up during the night, she almost always gets herself back to sleep.

However, we feel that she is nearing the age where she should go to bed awake and fall to sleep herself, especially for naps. I would love to contintue to rock her to sleep at nighttime, but understand if I must put her down awake at night in order for her to accept this method for naps.

So, with that information, let me make it clear that we are not looking for a "cry" solution. This is not an option we will consider, so please respect the wishes of my family.

I know there have to be other parents out there who rocked their babies to sleep for the first several months, then transitioned into putting the child to bed awake, with baby feeling loved and content. I'm looking for advice from you!

Any suggestions?

Thanks,
J.
Mom to Jolene (8 months)

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So What Happened?

Thanks to the wisdom of other moms, we decided to continue to rock our daughter to sleep - she is a baby for such a short time!!!! About three weeks ago, she was 11 months old, she began to push against me and squirm while I was rocking her, so I thought, "maybe she just wants to be in her bed?" I put her down and she just rolled around a little and went right to sleep - NO CRYING! Since then, probably nine out of ten naps/bedtimes she starts out awake. And most of those, she doesn't even fuss. She never cries, but she might fuss a little for five minutes or so. OR, she might play and cruise around and jabber for thirty minutes or more! The point is, I decided to enjoy those last few months of rocking my child, and she let me know when she was ready to give that up.

Thanks everyone!

J. - Mom to Jolene (one year old in just two weeks!)

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I like Emily W advice. But I also think you should rock while you still can until almost asleep. Enjoy it!

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

This will be tough because she will not like the change at first and will most likely cry. I would suggest feeding her right before bed so she has a full stomach. Play soft musci, read her a book. Create a new bedtime routine, basically. Rock her until she is almost asleep and put her down. Do you use a pacifier? If so, that will help her soothe herself.

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C.D.

answers from Dallas on

Read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It is FILLED with wonderful ideas and suggestions for gentle methods on getting your little one to sleep.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Introduce a "lovey" blanket for her to hold while you rock her. Have it between you and the baby with some edges available for grabbing. Some babies like the soft satin edging. If you don't do it now, introduce music into her bedtime rocking as well. It would be nice if you could tape yourself singing.
Do some short trials of her being in the crib awake with the music and the lovey while you are in the room, in a chair, not where she can see you but where she can hear you, and sing along with the music.
Don't wash the lovey unless it is really yucky. It is the smell that is going to comfort her.
If she cries while these trials are going on, try talking to her first in a sweet sing songie voice. If no luck there, move the rocking chair to her room next to her crib and rock her there, but not till she is "sound" asleep, just almost.
Try sitting in a chair next to her crib with you reaching in to hold her hand on to be on her head or back, whatever she likes.
Hope this helps.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on
1 mom found this helpful
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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Best wishes finding something for your family. Unfortunately, like others have said, your daughter will most likely cry since she will miss her usual routine.

However, "Cry It Out" does not mean "put her in her crib and walk away till she falls asleep 2 hours later." It usually involves setting a regular bedtime routine, hopefully all relaxing and soothing (like bath, lotion, books, singing, snuggling, etc) and then put her in bed and walk out. If she cries, go back and soothe her (not picking her up) after 3 minutes. If she still cries, go back after 3 more minutes. Then if she still cries, go back after 5 minutes, and so on. You can increase the time as you feel comfortable. Also, over subsequent nights, you can increase the time between intervals so you go in less frequently. This method DOES work although many parents hate to hear their child cry, and I agree it is very hard to hear that.

THat said, there is nothing wrong with rocking your daughter to sleep forever. It is your choice. Just remember that you will have to do it forever. If you are at the point that you want her to go to sleep without rocking, then try the "cry it out" method (found in "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Ferber). If you still like rocking your baby, that's your prerogative and I say keep it up. They are only babies for such a short period of time. Love her all you can, in the way that fits for your family. Whatever anyone else says is right for your family, doesn't know squat. You are the best judge of that. Good luck!

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N.H.

answers from Dallas on

I rocked my first born too. Love those sweet moments! I woudl hug and cuddle her and tell her it is time to go to bed and rock her in my arms standing up for just a few minutes. I woudl lay her down and walk out. I would stay outside the door and wait. At first she fussed and i would go in and pat her and tell her good night and walk out again. I had to do this several times but it got less and less as the days went on. I could not stand the cry it out method. How wonderful to be needed and how powerful i felt to know i had the ability to make her happy. Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I rocked both my kids as well and they just got to a point where they let me know by their actions that it wasn't needed any longer. I don't remember how old they were, but my view on it is, life is too short, they grow way too fast, so enjoy it while you can hold and rock her. It is such a special time!

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

We still swaddle our 7 month old. I bought some large pieces of lightweight cotton fabric from Jo-Ann's in cute prints and we wrap her in those. They are big enough to keep her securely wrapped now that she's older and lighter weight than newborn baby blankets so she doesn't get to hot. I nurse her until she's drowsy, then I wrap her up and put her in her crib and wind up the mobile. It's an old fashioned mobile with a music box inside it (not electronic music) and she really likes it. She usually goes to sleep since she's already mostly there by the time I finish nursing her.

Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I'm a huge reader so I always recommend books that have helped me w/my boys. I have 2 ages 3 and 4 who are super sleepers and have been since 4 months old. We, of course, have a few issues every now and then, but they have always put themselves to sleep awake and slept in their own beds. Anyway, I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I read it very early on though, and he suggested about 4 months of age is when they are capable of putting themselves to sleep so 8 months is going to be harder, especially for you if crying bothers you. Give it a chance...you'll be so glad you did. I breast-fed mine to sleep until about 4 months of age and they transitioned well into their crib (before I used a co-sleeper/side bed). Now they just wake up in the mornings and come downstairs to my bed for 'snuggling' before we all get up. Good Luck to you...hope you find a way that works for you both!!

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

We rocked our little girl to sleep and would have probably continued to do so, but at 12 months she was not sleeping good like your little one. You can try checking out the suggestions in "The No Cry Sleep Solution", which most libraries have. If you are reading her stories at night try reading them to her while she is in her crib. Allow her to play in her crib when she wakes for awhile before you go in.

I really miss rocking my baby to sleep though- be sure your ready to give this up! We had to (and we had to let her cry too- it was horribly hard)since she was needing to be rocked for HOURS each night, you don't have that problem and might want to hang on to the rocking for awhile longer since she is sleeping so well. It's a beautiful time that you will never get back.

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N.S.

answers from Dallas on

we just got this awesome Homedics sounds and lights box that plays the sound of the ocean, rain, heartbeat or one of three lullaby songs while it projects pictures on the ceiling or wall with 3 different picture disks. my 2.5 month old loves it! i put her down in the room while she was SCREAMING and layed with her for only a couple of minutes (literally!) and she calmed down immediately and fell asleep. wouldn't hurt to try it...and you could always return it if it doesn't work! good luck!

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C.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi,

Sounds like your baby will be easy to transition if she can put herself back to sleep at night. :-)
We rocked our now 15 mos. old to sleep and nap each day also at 8 mos. Around 10 mos. we began to rock until very drowsy, put her down and pat for a few more minutes until asleep. We continued this lessening the rocking/patting until we only rock (and now still do for our bonding time) for about 5 min. and put her down awake, cover her and walk out. Hasn't had a problem going to sleep since! Good luck.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

I would try nap time first, and just put her to bed when she seems sleepy, and stand there and pat her and maybe sing a little soft song. After awhile you can probably just pat her a bit, and she will drop off to sleep, but at first it will take both. She is pretty young yet, and you are so lucky for her to sleep so long at night, I'd definately start with nap time.

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

I rocked both of my girls until they were in big girl beds. Then I would sit on the bed and sing songs quietly until they started to doze off. Everyone told me that I was doing the wrong thing by not making them go to sleep by themselves, but I really enjoyed the rocking time with them. Before long, your baby won't want to rock with you- believe it or not. I'm glad I did it my way and ignored the books and advice of others. They are 6 and 3 now and normal healthy girls- no damage done by momma rocking them to sleep! So- if you want to keep rocking, do it. Otherwise I know there are lots of books you can get with different methods. Just do what feels right to you.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Do not assume that a "cry" method is not loving and does not leave the baby content. My sister in law is a pediatric nurse and ended up having to do this with all of her 4 girls. they had to learn to self soothe. That is part of them growing up. I was lucky and I had a girl that went straight to sleep in her crib at 5 months old. I just depends on the temperment of your little girl. There are many good books out there, but do not say no to anything until you have tried. that vis one thing that I have learned through being an aunt and a mom! good luck

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

Try putting her to bed just before she goes tosleep. This way she associates going to sleep with warm fuzzy feelings rather than just putting her in the bed awake.

If she is drowsy and close to sleep she is more likely to soothe herself since she already has an idea how to do that.

Good luck!

S.D.

answers from Dallas on

Just curious...are you WANTING to stop rocking or are people telling you to? If you and your baby arent ready to stop, then dont!!! They grow up so fast and I cant picture your teenage son wanting you to rock him! ha! so if it goes on for awhile, enjoy it! having said that...my advice.
1. a blanket, toy, something to help soothe him
2. same routine
3. the no cry sleep solution book (or something similar if you are interested..

good luck! remember, if its working and its healthy for your child then keep at it! :)

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A.S.

answers from Lubbock on

First I want to say please don listen to anyone who is telling you aour spoiling you child if you enjoy rocking her rock her and everyone can kiss it.I know I got that from some people too.Your not spoiling you child just loving her.That said we did transition our son at about 11 month.We started by still rocking him for a little bit till he was sleepy then laying him down and rubbing his back.We slowly shortened the rocking times and increased the back rubbing.Finally we just started laying him down and rubbing his back till he fell asleep and then we started rubing his back until he was sleepy and walking out.Finally we got to the point where we can lay him down tell him good night and walk out and he puts himself to sleep.I never let him cry it out but there are a few times when he will cry for just a second (5min or less) before he falls asleep so try not to rush in there at the first little peep,I know that is so hard.He usually doesnt cry at all but every once in a while he will cry when we walk out and that is about it.If he does cry for very long at all I go back in there and rub his back for a little bit and leave again that usually works.Good luck but dont rush into anything just because everyone thinks you should.Before you know it your precious little baby wont want to be held at all and will be running around playing and talking.It goes by in a flash.My son is now 15 months old and it seem like yesterday when he was this tiny little guy.It really goes by fast so treasure it while you can.(oh yeah I forgot we also have a cd player in his room and i play classical music or lullbies for him while he goes to sleep)

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

Boy do I understand this dilemma. We went through the same process with my older daughter when she was 1 year old. The whole cry-it-out thing absolutely did NOT work, so we needed another alternative. This is the process my pediatrician suggested to us, and it worked great!
To start off with, we would rock her until almost asleep. Then we would put her in bed but stand next to the crib while stroking her chest or back and making soothing noises until she fell asleep. After a few days of that, we didn't rock her at all and just put her directly in the crib, but still stroked/soothed her until asleep. After a day or two of that, we would put her in bed and stand next to the crib WITHOUT touching her until she fell asleep. Then we just sort of worked our way out of the room until we got to the point where we could just put her in the crib, give a kiss night-night, and walk out the door. It took probably a week or two for the whole process. There was a little bit of fussing but no outright crying/screaming.
Good luck!!!

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there!

I have to mention crying because it's part of my story...my mother in law suggested that we stop cuddling our baby to sleep even though I wasn't ready and the baby wasn't either...so there were lots of tears when we first tried this. On night two of that stint I said to heck with this!

3 or 4 months later when I felt ready, we started doing a wind down routine-it started with playing with her like crazy to tire her out, eat dinner, take a nice warm bath, turn down the lights, say prayers, cuddle. This coincided with eliminating the last bottle of the night and we did this every single night exactly the same way so she knew what was coming. This cuddling went down in the dark so she wouldn't be upset by us turning off the light...we simply put her in the bed, covered her up, and walked out of the room as quietly as possible. There was a little whimpering, but she caught on very quick and it was no time at all that we would just put her down to bed and she'd go right to sleep. And at the same time we did this, during the day I would tire her out, feed her, change the diaper and then just put her in the bed for her nap and walk away. A little tougher because she could see me walking away, but she would still soothe herself and go to sleep pretty quickly.

If there's lots of tears, it's not time yet. Good luck!

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