How Do We Get Our 5 Year Old into 1St Grade?

Updated on June 14, 2010
C.G. asks from Duluth, GA
12 answers

My daughter is very smart and will be 6 on Oct. 8. Because of the Sept. 1 deadline we were unsuccessful at getting her into kindergarten last year. Even the private schools we looked at use that deadline. We sent her to an awesome pre-school where she learned tons! My husband and I went to kindergarten curriculum last night and our fears were confirmed: She already knows about 95% of what they will be taught. What she doesn't know, she could be taught in a couple weeks. She doesn't need until May to learn it.
We are in Gwinnett and I was hoping some of you awesome ladies might have experienced this problem and could share how you solved it. We want her moved up to 1st grade. We think she is smart enough and mature enough. Her teacher said last night that she is finishing her initial evaluations this week. Our first step is to meet with her teacher, hopefully Friday, to discuss getting her moved up. I don't want much time to pass. I'm worried that my daughter will get attached to her teachers and classmates and a class/school change could upset her.
Any recommendations on dealing with Gwinnett County?
Any private schools that will place based on ability, not age? Or are easier to deal with on the issue than Gwinnett?
One thought I had was to get the curriculum for first grade. Maybe I can teach that to her at home and insist she get tested at the end of this year for skipping 1st grade. Thoughts on that? It's not my husband's favorite option.
I'd rather not homeschool, but of course would if we deemed it necessary. My daughter has always loved school and is very social. I place a lot of value on the whole school/life experiences learned at school in addition to academics. (Plus I worry about my patience to homeschool. and I think it's good for us to not be together 24/7.)
So we don't want our daughter to not be challenged academically. And we don't want her "dumbed down" by the end of the school year to the level of everyone else. Please share your advice!

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L.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Leave her where she is. It may surprise you all the things she learns that aren't in the curriculum. Kindergarten is 95% about socialization and while your daughter has been in preschool, she now must socialize all day 5 days a week, including a meal with all new people. Let her be in kindergarten for a while and then see if she is bored, acting out etc. before you make a big move. She may surprise you and do just fine where she is. As far as teaching her the first grade at home, let her enjoy being a kid after school and not spend the whole time learning. If you leave her in kindergarten, she will be one of the first to get her licencse, turn 13, and other milestones. If you move her up, she may always be the last one to do everything and sometimes as they age, kids maturity level seems to even out. Good luck with a difficult situation.

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S.E.

answers from Atlanta on

C.,

First, I am a former 5th grade teacher and I am also a mother. I understand your frustration. My daughter's birthday is on 9/10! She's just entering Kindergarten this year and I am thrilled that I didn't push her to move up.

Because I followed the "rule" of dates, Sophia is the leader of her class! She understand all the tasks (which, by the way are NOT boring, I mean what is boring about being a success in school or helping other kids?), she is an example to other students on how to behave (most of the time), she socializes all the time (she is quite social butterfly), and her teachers enjoy her very much! Sophia LOVES school and is challenged every day with different things, not just the things I would think. Your teacher will know more about that. Sophia is learning how to "do school." It's soooooo much more than just curriculum in Kindergarten!

I never taught Kindergarten but believe me when I say it's a lot more than learning ABCs and 123s. There are things taught that NO child should miss...your child's teacher will be able to explain it better. After all, our teachers have spent 4 years studying the development of children. There really is a good, solid reason school districts have these "rules." If you ask, I'm sure they'll explain it better than I can.

I recommend you ask yourself why it is so important to YOU that your daughter move up a grade? I know that when I push for something, now this is just me, my ego tends to be in the way. I feel that someone is not listening or understanding about my point so I tend to get louder...not the best way to be heard!

Good luck and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your family.

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L.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I would advocate keeping her w/ her peer group. Down the road it will be a benefit. We have a bright son (now in 5th grade). While in kdg he went to 1st grade reading groups a few times a week and was assigned special projects to do in, and out, of class. Thsi kept him busy, focused and challenged. Work closely with the teacher, curriculum development teachers, talented and gifted teachers, principal and anyone else that will hear you. My son is a leader in his grade and the confidence that comes with that can not be measured on a report card.

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T.

answers from Atlanta on

To answer your question, try a private Montessori until she is 7. They group several ages. Schools are not as strict about entrance into second grade as they are about K and 1.
My opinion...I too was that gifted child, and my mom (a teacher) chose to keep me in my age appropriate grade for all the reasons everyone mentioned. She "made" me do extra work and still I barely studied until college. Fast forward to grad school, and those kids who were younger--skipped a grade, finished college in 3 years--were so immature. They never really got to party in college, didn't seem to have as many life experiences as the average 23 year old. We could tell who they were. Yes, they were brilliant, but life is so much bigger than academics. She'll be challenged enough. You can make projects harder--write 3 sentences instead of 1, etc.
No worries, whatever you pick, go with it and do not second guess. There will always be folks who agree and disagree, your baby is who matters the most.

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S.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Not sure if the Gifted program is for Kindergartners but maybe you could request that she be tested for the Gifted Program. That would give her time away from Kindergarten and hopefully challenge her while in the focus program. Good luck.
S.
____@____.com

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L.T.

answers from Atlanta on

I understand your frustation, I went through something similar. We moved from NY where my daughter was in a 5 day full blown gifted program, she was in 2nd grade of the program, learning 4th grade GA curriculum. She got tested for FOCUS and got in a blink. She is not challenged enough, even now that she is in 5th grade and interrupts the class because she is bored. I looked for advise and everybody said to let her excel in her level and not struggle on a higher one. The conversation of skipping a grade came up last year again and academically she is more than ready but emotionally she is fine where she is. My decision was to leave her where she is. If she is bright she will excel later on no matter what. She loves being top of the class and scoring 100 in every test. She is enrolled in Duke TIP, she goes to GT for science classes, she still has time for sports and she enjoys being a normal 10 year old girl. I expose her to any learning experiences available out of school, every little bit enriches them, and she is still a normal girl with no extra pressure. Your daughter is only 5 years old there is a long way to go in school.Skipping years in school is not only advance learning but also advance maturing. It is up to you which one you think is better. Good luck!

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R.J.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi C.,

I am just coming across this post a year later. I completely understand your frustration. I'm in the same position with 2 girls with late birthdays. Would love to know if you found anything for them as I am looking for the same thing.

Fortunately, our private preschool has an Oct. 31 cutoff date but it continues on to K-5 so she's okay. My December baby, well... we'll see what happens with her down the road. I hope she doesn't get bored like her "momma" did and start acting out.

FYI (and I'm sure you know this), your child DOES NOT have to be the oldest in order to be a leader. I don't know why people keep holding on to this belief. Being a leader is about your personal ability to influence and lead others which is independent of your age.

I was always 2 - 3 years older than people in my school and they looked up to ME. Leadership is something that parents should instill in their children. Has nothing to do with age.

The latest research even suggests that holding children back who are ready to move forward can be a detriment to them. The few benefits of being an older child completely disappear halfway through elementary school. So, I just don't understand this "new age" (my own term) philosophy about education.

The world is passing us by educationally and we, IMHO, keep making decisions that further keep us behind as a nation. *SIGH*.

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L.C.

answers from Atlanta on

C.,
I live in Fulton County and have 2 kids (a son in 2nd grade and daughter in 6th). My son's b'day is Sept. 21st so I'm familiar with what you're going through.

In Fulton County they have a program called TAG for the talented and gifted children... not sure if Gwinnett has the same program but I bet they do. If you're daughter is in need of more challenge she will surely be put in TAG. The school evaluates each child and also uses teacher's recommendations. If your daughter isn't recommended for TAG you get request that she is re-evaluated.

My children aren't in TAG so I'm not sure what year this program starts but I think it begins either in 1st grade or 2nd grade.

This program should be the answer to your frustrations.

Hope that helps,
L.

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L.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Have not heard of a situation where GA will let someone whose b'day is after Sept. 1 move ahead - (it's different in NY where I'm from). Private schools often don't even let June b'days in the grade they are supposed to be in and make them take Pre-K or Kindergarten twice, so if you learn anything different, I'd love to know.

It is frustrating when you think/know your child is beyond the curriculum. Are you sure other kids in the class are not at her same level. I wouldn't be concerned about her being "dumbed down" - likely, there are quite a few children in her class who are also beyond the curriculum. If the kids are smart, the teacher will teach to their level. I have yet to see a class where the kids are not up to the curriculum on day 1. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree that kindergarten is about a lot more than the curriculum. It's about classroom expectations, getting into routines, learning to interact with your peers. And it's a REALLY sweet time, a gentle introduction to school that has plenty of playtime and fun. There are lots of extra resources for gifted kids - try looking into some of those. They can be a lot more fun and creative, whereas pushing into the next grade can (at worst) just be higher expectations and more work at a younger age - where's the fun in that?

And it's also a LOT easier for teachers to vary the curriculum a little to keep the interest of children that are a little ahead of the curve than to vary the classroom to take into account the social and emotional issues of a younger child.

And if she's always the youngest in her class, that can be an issue as well. Maybe not quite as much if she's a very tall child, but if she's younger and smaller than the other kids, it can be difficult.

If she stays in kindergarten, she'll probably be one of the most capable kids in the class, which will really help her get along socially, give her a shot of self-confidence and set her up for success. If she transfers into first grade, she may be able to keep up, but she probably won't be at the top of the class. Then there is the social aspects - older kids may play rougher or may socially exclude her. At some time or another, almost everyone has had to deal with some kind of childhood cruelties, aggression, or playground trauma, and by pushing ahead one grade, she'll be exposed to this earlier. Same thing for "dating", video games, movies, cell phones and going off to college.

Fast forward 12 years. Do you *really* want her moving out of the house and into those college dorms and into the "whole college scene" a year earlier? Even very smart kids can have poor judgement and one extra year in the late teens can really make a difference in their confidence, their "sense of self," their wisdom and ability to make good decisions.

I'd recommend at LEAST giving kindergarten a shot. It really is a sweet time with much less pressure to sit still, write neatly, sign your name, "stay one green!" (ugh), take responsibility, do your homework, etc.
If you're wrong, you can advance later on (2nd or 3rd grade) with no stigma. But if you advance now and later wish you hadn't, there's a LOT more stigma with being held back later.

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C.W.

answers from Atlanta on

It's so nice to have such a smart child - I can tell that you are very proud. I was that child, and I can give you a little insight as to my experiences. First let me say that I'm not trying to discourage you AT ALL. Let's just say that I'm playing devil's advocate.

My birthday is Nov 16, which is even later than hers. My parents tried the same things when I was a child - get me into K early, skip a grade, etc., but they (the state I guess) determined that socially it would be better to stay with kids my own age. In K, I did go to the 1st grade class occasionally during their reading class (I could read already), and I was in the gifted class at whatever grade they began. Granted I was young, but I don't remember ever having been bored. It's something that you would want to discuss with her teacher and see if there are ways to challenge her. At that age, there is so much to experience socially, but then I wasn't in any type of school beforehand, so it's possible that I didn't have the same social exposure as your daughter. At any rate, in high school I was one of the older kids, so I got to drive sooner, etc. and I was in all of the advanced classes. In the end, I'm glad that things turned out the way they did.

Just be sure that you take into account how this will affect her future. Maybe you don't see these things as being important - that's your choice. It's just something to think about. It will follow her all through her academic career. She will always be the youngest. Not by a few months, but by a year. She'll develop later, drive (a year) later, and when those big birthdays hit, the thrill for the other kids will have been long surpassed. It could be a little awkward for her, and for the other kids, to especially be the young, smart girl in class. But then you never know. :)

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

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R.M.

answers from Atlanta on

It is great that your daughter is doing well with schoool! I would suggest your stick with her grade by Gwinnett guidelines. My daughter is also in gifted and I would not have wanted her to start any earlier. They grow up to quick as it is. My children are both Christmas and New Years children. I was a September baby graduated at 17 (not in this area) I was always the baby. Think about when you start driving we can not change that rule. I was the last to do this in my class. Especially with girls the social part is so critical for their self esteem. Do you really want her starting middle school a whole year earlier? I certainly would not want that. Could my daughter have kept up? Yes but I did not want her to? NO
Good luck with whatever you do. The gifted program really is geared to challenge. I wish you luck with whatever you decide. I think they start this program in 1st grade.

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