Ok just need some mama 2 cents.
We know this couple really makes us, my husband and I feel unimportant. They only talk to people who have some kind of high position. Which is ok? But when they directly only talk to the person you’re standing next to, and totally ignore you it get a little offensive.
I remember being at exercise class speaking to one of our mutual friends. She just goes up to Sarah and starts talking to her, her alone.
Example
Let’s say the couples name is Mary and Able who just moved to our area. We are leave a mutual friend’s house and Allison and I are standing by my car talking. Mary and Able drive by in their car and say BYE ALLISON! Don't even acknowledge me.
I went up to the wife and asked her what am I chopped liver? She hugged me and said, no...No. Allison was just moving away and that would be the last time we saw them. I was like ok. Uh huh to myself.
On Facebook they are friends with everyone in our little group but us. When they first moved here I remember going out of my way to say hello and welcome.
Would you go up to the couple and ask them what they have against us, or just ignore them.
I find it rude and childish the behavior, thing is they are going to be around for a while, and not sure what to think of it.
Happens all the time to me.. at least when it comes to the military women that care more about what my husband's rank is than who I am. I know so many women that will not talk to me because my husband is ONLY a Captain in the Army... of course their husband is only one rank higher, but you know... it matters to them. Personally I just don't hang with people like that. I figure if they are that petty then they are not worth it anyway.
It sounds like u really want them to like u guys.
I mean, are you one of those people who gets their feelings hurt bc someone does not want to be your friend?
I think you should just shake it off. It is not the end of the world if they don't talk to you guys.
Maybe let sometime go by & "hopefully" they'll talk to you guys, but don't make a big deal about it or they will end up not wanting to talk to you at all.
I've been right where you are..drove me crazy for about 2 years until I realized that I don't have to be good friends with everyone in our circle and their behavior is not a reflection of me. Their behavior is a result of their insecurities. They have issues, you don't. Until I stepped back and actually looked at the situation, I didn't realize that she WANTED what I HAD. That is why she didn't acknowledge me but greeted my kids with hugs. My daughter was smart enough (at 5) to see what she was doing and we had a great talk about friends and how you don't have to be friends with everyone, but in our family we are nice and respectful to everyone..no matter how mean, insensitive, or ignorant the person is. Changing my perspective on the situation has made social gatherings more enjoyable for me.
I've had this happen to me quite a few times. Usually it is because this particular person knows the other person a lot better than they know me but it's still very rude to exclude someone from of a conversation like that. After giving this a lot of thought, I've come to the conclusion that the way these people behave is not about me. They're just social idiots. They don't know how to interact with people who they don't know very well or are a little bit different from them, or they just have no desire to be friendly to people other than the select members of their group. I actually don't think about these kind of people too much anymore because the people that I am friends with know how to play nice with everyone.
Sorry that you had that experience.
I tell my 13 year old that no matter how old we are we will always have issues of getting our feelings hurt by others and it never gets easier. I am a person like you who when someone treats me like this it does bother me and I can't let go since I have no clue what I did to deserve it. I have decided to be just as nice to them as I am to everyone else. They are the ones with the problem not you, just smile and say "Hi", if they don't respond move on but know you are a good person. I know how uncomfortabel it is but over time it will get easier and they will be the ones missing out on not having a friendship with you and your husband. Remember that even though we are older, insecurities don't go away so this coupld could be intiminated by you and your husband, it is sad people are like that but it really sounds like this couple have a few issues themselves by the way they treat people. The best of luck to you though. If you have kids you are also going to be setting a great example for them.
I wonder if you should try a selfish kind of high road. It's selfish because it's grounded more on mental and emotional self-preservation than on generosity toward the other guy.
I understand your situation because it has happened to me. I have to remind myself that I am not now and never have been the center of the universe... and there's really no law against people ignoring me! I'd try to shrug off the situation, get a humorous slant on it if I can, and turn instead to people who I know are my friends. My junior high days are long past, and I do NOT want to return to the angst of what other folks think or don't think of me.
Sometimes it happens that NOT being involved with a person turns out to be a blessing. People act in strange ways and we may NEVER know why. They may not know why themselves.
Maybe they have a problem you just don't know about, and maybe you shouldn't try to make their problem yours. If they want to act cold to you, can you just let it be THEIR problem? You already know you're a nice woman! Think about what these people are missing!
Perhaps one day one of your other friends might bring them up in conversation, and MAYBE you might be able to say, casually, "I wish I knew them better, but for some reason they don't seem to want to know me. Oh well...."
