How Do I Wean My Toddler!?

Hi L.,
I only nursed for about 2 weeks so it's great that you were able to last 2 years! I understand that you don't want to upset your daughter. I think you had the right idea with the lemon though. (My son loves lemon so it would not have worked with him). If you do the lemon thing a few days in a row, your daughter won't want to nurse. She may have trouble falling asleep the first couple of days but she will eventually be tired enough and after a few days just go to sleep on her own. Maybe let her pick out a cute sippy cup to drink milk at nap and bedtime - it may make her excited to use her cup. She may just like the way you smell - maybe give her one of your shirts to sleep with (that's what I did) and that will help comfort her at bedtime. If nothing else works, you can tell her that mommy's boobs don't work anymore and she has to drink out of a cup and stop cold turkey.....she may be upset at first but she'll get over it pretty quickly. At this point she is just using you for comfort and you need to take back the control of your body. Your daughter knows your weak spots and knows how to manipulate them (even at 2 years old). My son will be six next month. He quickly learned how to manipulate my feelings and I let him take advantage of me many times because I felt too guilty to say no. It drove my husband insane because I'd constantly give in to my son. He still tries to make me feel guilty about things sometimes and I do give in sometimes but not as much as I used to. It's a hard process but we all get through it. If I can do it, you can do it.

Good luck! It will work out!

Hi L.,
First of all, let me say a big congratulations for nursing your baby girl for so long!! I actually don't really have any advice for you, but just wanted to let you know that I am in an almost identical situation. My son is 23 months old and he LOVES to nurse. I think that some kids definitely enjoy it more, and it is harder to wean them. I know tons of moms who have weaned their kids and it wasn't a big deal. How lucky are they!? I also would like my son to self-wean, but I'm worried that he won't want to do that until he's at least 3, if not longer. He needs to nurse to fall asleep, which at this point I don't even really mind. My problem is that he still wakes up throughout the night and needs my breast to go back to sleep. If I could just get him to sleep throughout the night, I'd be happy for now. I've gotten advice from other people, but I wasn't able to do any of them. Like you, I've tried to cuddle and kiss but it doesn't work because he knows his milk is right there. I also hate letting him cry, so I always give in. People have told me to leave for a weekend and cut him off, but I could never do that. I wish you lots and lots of luck, and please let me know if you get any good tips :)

I recently completely weaned my 2year old. I did it in stages because I wanted her to wean herself- but for us the reality was that she loves breastfeeding and would have gone on as long as I let her. And I felt like I needed it to be finished. So I told her a few times in an upbeat way that she was getting to be a big girl now and that she really didn't need it anymore (you know like change is good and a part of getting older) and prepped her ahead of time that we would be weaning.

I weaned the one before nap first and many months later the one before bed. Periodically she would ask for breastmilk during the day and I would ask her-when does she get to nurse- and she would say- before bedtime. When I weaned the feeding before bedtime she cried a little-but I hugged her and told her how much I loved her (and offered her soy milk right away-if she was thirsty).

If I cuddled with her I would make sure I had enough layers on so that she wouldn't get distracted. I think she's made a good transition - she can put herself to sleep now- without any drinking of anything.

There were times before the weaning- when she would nurse for longer than I was comfortable with - so I just told her that it (the breast) was getting tired and needed to sleep/rest - she was okay with that.

Good luck -I totally get how you're feeling - I had similar feelings.

I'm in the same boat with my 30 month old boy. I can get him off the breast if he falls asleep, but sometimes he doesn't even fall asleep, and then I feel like I've been duped, because he got to nurse but didn't nap! I'm thinking that it has to be just total cold turkey at this age. Otherwise they are confused and know that if they beg enough it is available. I'm just afraid of the tears and screaming that I know will happen.