How Do I Prep My 20 Month Old for the Arrival of Her Little Brother?

I had a 20 month old at the time of my second and I told him 2 days before she got here she was coming (c-section) and we talked about it a lot for 2 days and he was very excited to see her when my family brought him to the hospital and they have been the best of friends ever since. They can't handle too much waiting at 20 months (at least in my experience) so I would wait until really close. The best thing you can do is get her very involved when the baby comes home. I told my son how much sister loves him and needs him and I let him help take care of her by handing me diapers and blankets and help me talk to her and that really made him feel important which really bonded them. Good luck, the first 1.5yrs with 2 that close is pretty hard but it gets much easier when the second can walk and communicate a little. Congrats and may they be best friends!

Little People make a house and family, with a baby and a minivan, etc. She could role play with that family since she is into Little People.
Also, I lent a small doll to a friend of mine for her almost 3 year ol boy to have when the baby came along. He wasn't really into dolls, either, but she said it helped for him to have one for a little while.
There are lots of social stories out there to help explain that a brother is coming soon and that she will be a big sister.
Plus it is important for Dad to spend a lot of time with her now because he will be spending more time with her when the baby comes because you have to tend to the new baby. It may be easier for her to adjust to getting Daddy instead of Mommy when she needs something if you work her up to it.
Good luck.

Congrats on the baby! One HUGE mistake I made when we brought #2 home from the hospital was that we moved #1s car seat from the middle to the side. She was devistated. In retrospect, I should have moved her seat a few weeks in advance so she wouldnt associate it with her brother. The baby is a good Idea, too. I also went shopping with my daughter to find a present for her to give the baby, and I went shopping for a present from the baby to her - she still loves the bear from her brother.
Good Luck!
T. S.

Hi, i am a sahm as well of a 2yr old girl and 8 month old boy! I was in your same shoes wandering the same thing. I didnt do to much to prepare her for him beforehand otherthan tell her " you have a new baby in my tummy." When he was born, it was funny. She didnt really know what to make of him. But i did always make her feel included and equally important. When visitors came to see him with gifts, i made sure i had a little stash of goodies for her too so she wouldn't feel unimportant. I let her watch and help with things. She has never resented him and loves all over him. As long as you make sure she still gets the same or close to the same attention, you'll be fine. Congrats and good luck!

Don't worry about it too much...kids adapt pretty well. She has had nine months and has felt your preparation for the baby, so she knows something is coming. My advice is just to bring something home for her when you bring the baby...doesn't have to be a doll, but it could be(she may emulate you with the doll). Anyway, whatever it is, just tell her that the "baby" wanted to give her a present. Also talk to her about the things you have set up. Tell her that the crib is where the baby will sleep, the changing table is where you will change the baby's diaper. My daughter was 20 months old and couldn't have cared less at sisters arrival at the time. Good luck.

First I wouldn't worry about it, for hundreds of years people have had more than one child and survived. :-)
When my Oldest (Sabrina) was just 8 months old I found out I was 1 month pregnant with her baby sister (Tabitha). By the time Tabitha arrived, they were 15 months 3 weeks apart.
Sabrina was not into dolls either, she did have a lovie, but I don't think that matters either way. I will say that letting her be involved helped (I think so anyway). I have also been watching the moms in my playgroup who are having their second children as well. We have all tried different ways of making the eldest feel happy with the new addition. The baby doll, the letting them do as baby does (trying to breast feed, bottle, or whatever they ask) Most of them try it and then want nothing mor eto do with it. They just want to make sure they are not being replaced.
I will tell you Sabrina was really not phased by her sister until she started crawling, then it is a whole new world!
I hope this has helped.... Just do what you feel is best, even if you do nothing it will all work itself out when baby comes. :-)

Hi A.,
I don't have any great advice, just my heartfelt support. We are virtually in the same boat. My daughter will be 20 months old when my newest arrival will be born this summer. We've given her baby dolls, stuffed animals, and repeatedly encouraged her interaction with all things baby. I'll pretend like I'm feeding her doll or give her doll hugs and kisses. We even brush her doll's teeth together. She mimicks my actions. However, when she's bored of the poor doll she tosses it away--I can only hope for the best with her new sibling. Anyhow, I will also benefit from the advice that you'll receive. So, thanks for asking the question.

The baby doll is a great idea. I did this with my son. He was not into babies either. I got one of those life sized ones and a toy high chair (with the food, bottles, diapers etc.) Wasn't much $.
He was about 19 months when I started talking about it. Then I got the baby out of the package and started playing with it. We gave the baby a bath and put a diaper on it and wrapped it up in a blanket. I would carry it around like a real baby. I would tell him than soon he was going to have a baby sister and this is what it would be like. I would be carrying around another baby and taking care of it. I would also let him help. He could feed the baby a bottle, but only if he was sitting down. I have several very precious pictures of him sitting in the chair with "his baby" on his lap feeding her! He loved it. When he would carry "his baby" around, I would make sure he was doing it the right way so he wouldn't hurt the baby. After a couple months of taking care of the baby, feeding it in the high chair, changing diapers, and carrying it around, baby got old and there was not a problem when the "REAL sister" came.
The only jelousy problems I had was that I got him completely off the pacifier about 4 months before she got here and after 4 months, he started taking her paci away from her and well, that was the only issue.
The baby worked better than I thought it would.

I also has him enrolled in a "new sibling class" at Seton Hospital. He took his baby too.

When my son was just a little older than your daughter I found out I was pregnant. Once I started showing and could feel her moving I started telling my son about the new baby that was coming. I allowed him to pick out the toys (in the baby section) he would like to buy for the baby to play with. Once I found out I was have a girl, he started picking out the clothes. Since I had to have a c-section he was not allowed in the delivery room, but he spent most of his days at the hospital with me in the bed feeding the baby, helping change her diaper, and most of all holding her. He loved it. Since he was the 1st child on both sides of the family I didn't know how he would take it, but involving him on everything seemed to help.

Congrats!!

I have four girls ages 1-5, so I have lots of experience with this. I bought a pregnant barbie doll- you can see the baby in the tummy and then take it out and barbie has a flat tummy and cares for barbie.) Uh, I just looked for her online and goodluck on that one- she's running about $200. Now I wish I'd bought several! Oh well, who knew that the stores were going to not sell them because of all the complaints, how silly.

I have a book "How was I born?" that shows pregnant mommy, baby in the uterus, and the birth.

You SHOULD get a baby doll for her- she doesn't know how to play with it because she hasn't experienced it. Change the doll's clothes with her, change the diaper, feed and burp it, put it to bed, and tell her SSHHH we need to be quiet because the baby is sleeping. She may still not really 'get it' but it's good preparation and when the baby comes she'll likely pick up the baby and imitate you.

Speak of and to the baby often. My girls liked to cuddle up with me and hollar at the baby "Hello, baby, how are you doing today?" LOL

Make sure any changes you make (out of he crib, tossing the bottle, changing carseats ect) are done several weeks or longer before the birth.

Blessings,
S., mom to four girls Faith (5) Hope (4) Grace (3) Joy (14 months)

I'm in the same boat, wondering the same things!

I would say though that it doesn't have to be a human baby that she plays with, my daughter will push her 'Build a Bear' Cat around in a little Graco stroller I picked up at Toys r Us and every time I hear a baby cry or see a baby I sign 'baby' to her, she has started signing 'baby' to me when she sees a baby or hears one cry. I have also started telling her that there is a baby in my tummy.

She's pretty oblivious for the most part.

I wish you the best!

The book _Siblings without Rivalry_ by Adele Faber has good tips on what to do (and not do) after bringing home a new baby.

I suggest buying or checking out some simple board books that talk about babies & siblings: "My New Baby", "The New Baby", "I'm a Big Sister", etc. And maybe pull out her baby pictures and talk about when she was a baby.

I agree with the previous response that said to make any changes (such as moving carseat, moving out of crib, etc) before the new baby comes in so she doesn't feel like the baby is taking over her stuff/ invading her space. Also see if she can be involved in helping prepare baby's room, picking out baby clothes etc.

One thing we did to make the transition easier was "the baby" brought my son a present when she came home from the hospital. When they came over to visit, my family was also careful to interact with big brother first before making a fuss over the new baby.

First of all, congrats on your new addition!! Life positively changes with two. I bought my son a boy doll that came witha tub and accessories about five months before his little brother was born. I believe that had a real impact. When I would nurse, he would also sit and "nurse" his baby. When I would feed, he would do the same, etc. He was also very gentle with his brother. I also had them exchange gifts when we got home. The baby brought him a Larry Boy video which he had wanted and the baby got a little ducky! The older one was so excited and still talks about it, almost 2 years later. Our hospital also held a sibling class. They showed a video, had a baby they could hold and gave them a tour of where mommy would be and where the nursery was. Plus a goodie bag. That was also very helpful! When I did get home from the hospital, my husband carried the baby. I don't know for sure, but maybe this also helped because I walked in looking for him and not carrying the new baby. Hope this is helpful! Best wishes for a safe and happy delivery. God bless.

Here's an article I wrote about preparing a child for the birth of their sibling. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/157924/how_to_pr...

It might have some helpful ideas even if your child doesn't ATTEND the birth.

There are some great prep classes that chidbirth educators teach - also a library may have a helpful video such as "Lizzy has a Baby" or other child prep video and books.

Hi A.
You don't have much time left, so just keep on talking about the baby and make it real to her....show her where the baby will sleep, what it will wear, etc., on and on.
Tell her that the baby is bringing her a gift.
Your mom's right, give her a baby doll "from the baby" to give her as a gift - as well as another type of favorite toy.
Then when you get home, you will be amazed to see her mimic you taking care of the baby by patting her doll, etc.
All the best and congratulations!
Jewel

My daughter was 27 months old when her baby brother was born. We knew we were going to have a boy so I got her a baby brother doll. She loved it and carried the doll around with her everywhere telling everyone that she was going to have a baby brother. After he was born,everything just fell into place. There was some adjustment time,but only for a short time. We also got her a little blouse that said Big Sister on it.She wore it the day we brought her brother home.Good luck with everything, I wish you the best!

What we have done with 3 of our kids is get a baby doll (with our boys it was a stuffed animal) and we treated that doll like it was our new baby. It rode in the van in a baby car seat, sat int he swing in the livingroom and slept in the crib. It helped our 3 boys to each get ready for their new brothers. Theres also all kinds of books about welcoming new babies into the family at the library, ask the librarian which are age appropriate.
Good luck and congrats!

You might also check your hospital to see if they have "big sister/brother" tours. At ours they even give the sibling a baby doll. Other than that, with each pregnancy, we talked about the baby in mommy's tummy, and read several books about being a big brother/sister. Mercer Meyer's The New Baby is cute (though about a big brother/baby sister), and each of my older kids (oldest boy, middle girl) has a copy of Joanna Cole's "I'm a Big Sister/Brother" books. We read these many times before the births, but especially aftewards when it starts to make more sense to them. One thing I really tried to do after the baby came home was read to the older kid(s) while nursing the baby. They didn't feel quite so ignored at those moments when the most important thing was to feed the hungry baby! And if you are nursing, don't be surprised if your daughter decides to nurse her baby doll, too! Good luck.

I will share with you my experiences. A friend thought my sister was nuts for even discussing the new baby with her daughter before she came. But we all did. I even discussed their new cousin with my children. All 3 kids (4, 2 and 2) knew that "Baby L" was in mommy's/Aunts belly. They got to help put her things in order and they got to practice with their babies, etc. When the time came, amazingly, not a lot of explanation was needed (even for my 4 year old). We just said, that mommy/aunt was at the hospital. The baby was going to be born. My neice got all prettied up and brought presents for her sister, and the new sister even had a present for her big sister! She loves her baby! She will carry around a doll (she wasn't really into them either before) and change the baby when sister gets changed, etc. She also is a "big helper" by helping get mommy diapers, a lovey, a bib, etc.
Funny thing, the son of the mom who thought we were nuts - hates his new brother. Screams when mom holds him and not big brother, acts up while she's trying to nurse, etc. It was a real shocker to him. The baby is cruising now, but big brother still doesn't care much for him at all.

My son was 20 months when my daughter was born. It is a big change and so the more prep you can give them the better. Also, make sure you focus on the positive about having a new one in the family and her role as big sis. Get her excited about it and you don't have to be graphic to give them the info that they need and that way they aren't blind-sided when the big day arrives.

You can't prepare her. There really isn't a good way to explain what life is going to be life for her after her new sibling arrives.

I would just talk about it all through out the day, especially when you see other little babies. If you do end up getting a baby doll for her, just show her what things you will be doing with the baby.

There will be an adjustment period for everybody, including your 20 month old.

Congrats on your upcoming baby!

I'm in the same position with my 2-yr-old and have been doing a couple of little things that may or may not help... I cut out magazine pictures of babies nursing, being cuddled by parents, crying, laughing, crawling, etc, and made them into a little book that we look at a lot. I've also been working on making my son a lot more indepenendent, such as not carrying him as much (esp up and down the stairs... we bought a toddler stair rail), teaching him how to "make his bed" (stacking his pillows and straightening his animals), moving him to his new bed and weaning him off his pacifier, bringing his plate to the sink when he's done eating, etc. They're little things but I think it'll be nice that he's used to following simple commands when the baby comes so I'm not running around everywhere. Good luck!

I would go to the library and take out some books on becoming an older sibling. The children's library should be able to recommend some.

I would also tell her that she is going to be a big sister, and she can help mommy and daddy take care of the baby with little things. help push the stroller, etc. But also explain that the baby is very little and you have to be gentle.

I talked with my son about what sounds a baby makes. When we were out and about I would point out babies in strollers. You can also make a sign together for the baby's room with a picture of your daughter saying I'm your big sister. Your daughter could also draw a picture of herself on the sign or help decorate it. That kind of thing.

I would not be too worried though. Most children seem to adjust fine, but if you make her feel like like she's helping to prepare for the baby it might be helpful.

Best wishes,
stw

just srart talking to her about her getting a new babt brother,she is going to be a Big sister ,and will help mommy when he comes home,tell her an let her feel youtummy ,that there is where he is right now ,take her on a tour of the hospital you are going to have your son at say mommy will come here and the DR will get him out and daddy will brind her to see mommt and her brother ,then mommy and her babt brother will come home,tell her how important a Big sister is and just have little daily talks about him
best of luck to your new son
L.

The best thing you can do is to talk to her about the new baby.

However, I have found that even kids that do not particularly care for dolls enjoy baby doll strollers. They are the perfect height to push and they can put anything in them.

You can check your local hospital for sibling classes. My daughter went through one and they primarily taught her things like: Never feed the baby. Touch the baby gently. Never pick up the baby. They gave them a big sister job of making sure to ask everyone who came to see the baby to wash their hands first. They told them some good things to do with the baby are to sing to him/her and play tickle the baby's feet. I can't remember what else.

Once the baby is born, you can try (although you won't be able to do it everytime) to direct people to say hello to your older daughter before they go see the new baby.

Oh, and there are some excellent books written for children all about becoming a new big sister. You can buy those and give them to her as a gift or check them out from the library.

Good luck.

A. congratulations on your soon arrival. My children are three yrs apart. What we did is we bought a toy for my daughter and when Grandma and Grandpa brought her to see the new baby we told her that her baby brother came in and brought her a gift. She was thrilled and love her brother since. It was an easy transition for her.

Good luck,
Elisa

Take her to the hospital nursery so she can see a real baby and talk about her new baby brother and when he comes home things that will be happening such as sleep, crying, and changing diapers!

Congratulations and I hope all goes well for you.

Blessings.

I did like your mom said. My son was 20 mos old when I had son #2!!! 6 mos prior...I got him a boy doll. We got it out every now and then and pretended how easy to be...holding...patting his head, etc. I don't know if it translated into how to act w/ a real baby. My older son was too self involved to worry about the new arrival!! Good luck!

you can help her pick out some things she's outgrown to save for the new baby. example- if you are going to (or already have) gotten her a big girl bed, she could help clean up and move the baby bed to get it ready for her baby brother. also a baby carseat, or toys that are baby appropriate. let her help in age appropriate ways.