How Do I Get My Kids to Dress Themselves?

Updated on November 22, 2016
S.E. asks from New York, NY
14 answers

We have a 6, 4 and 3 year old. I want them to be more independent but it's so difficult to get them to get out of the house on time when I try to have them dress themselves.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Start them dressing earlier. Kids this age are.slow. Make getting dressed.a game. Use a timer. Make it a race.

7 moms found this helpful

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Some good suggestions. I especially like Suz T's point of mentioning that this is something you have them 'practice' when you have the time.

Here are some other suggestions, based on my experience as a preschool teacher trying to get 15 kids out the door to play. (They had to get on sweaters, raincoats/jackets, boots, generally):

Limit distractions. Our kids at preschool were in a cloakroom when transitioning from inside to out/outside to in; there were no toys in that space. If you leave them in their room to dress, you are leaving them with distractions. Instead, have the kids dress in a part of the house which has as few distractions as possible. This means keeping the TV/media off. When my son was having trouble with this, I'd bring his clothes into the kitchen while I was making breakfast and he couldn't leave until he was dressed. A hallway or other 'boring' place will also work better.

Sleep in clothes for the next day: my husband and son will sometimes travel and wake up very early to catch their flight. So, even now that Kiddo's nine and fully dresses himself, we still have him sleep in his clothes so that the early wake-up is easier. Some kids will choose to do this and think it's fun. My son has done it a few times by choice. It just makes things a lot easier and eliminates an extra step.

Make sure the clothes are *easy* to put on. Buttons and fasteners can be tricky even for more grown up and nimble fingers. Pull-on clothes are so much easier for everyone. Elastic-waisted pants are your friend at this age. :) Put on socks, too, the night before if possible.

Be on hand for what they need. If it were myself in your position, I'd bring the clothes out to a nice, warm kitchen in the morning and let them get dressed there, then move right into breakfast. This way, no distractions, I can be able to stop for a second to help them without leaving the room and continue what I'm doing. If this doesn't work, have them get up a bit earlier (might mean going to bed a little earlier).... the most important part of this is *don't stress*. They will get discouraged about their abilities if you are. With some reluctant dressers, we'd 'take turns' (they would do an item, I'd do an item) or I would tell them "I'll help you with your shirt or your socks. Which one?" Sometimes, it's really about them wanting our attention, so keep that in mind too. And take heart-- at some point they will be mortified if you ever mention having had to dress them.It will seem like 'baby' stuff to them.

9 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I remember helping my girls in kindergarten so they were around 5-6 yr old. My girls are 5 years apart so it was never a problem but I see your dilemma with 3 young kids.
I've never done this but perhaps when you bath them at night you could have them sleep in their t-shirt or cami, then in the morning you are only dealing with a sweater/sweatshirt and pants. I know sock and shoes can be a big issue too. All I can say is that it will get much easier.

Updated

I remember helping my girls in kindergarten so they were around 5-6 yr old. My girls are 5 years apart so it was never a problem but I see your dilemma with 3 young kids.
I've never done this but perhaps when you bath them at night you could have them sleep in their t-shirt or cami, then in the morning you are only dealing with a sweater/sweatshirt and pants. I know sock and shoes can be a big issue too. All I can say is that it will get much easier.

8 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

When I was working and had small ones, I laid out a pile of clothes for each, complete with underwear and socks. We had a routine that never varied much - and we got up early enough so never rushed. I supervised the dressing and bathroom, but left as much as I could up to them, gradually letting them take over once they were capable.

7 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

My boys stopped letting me dress them when they were 3. They both had that "I can do it myself" mindset about a lot of things. It's just the way they are, and it honestly slowed us down many mornings (refusing Mom's help in anyway and taking FOREVER).

I just want to reassure you that this is very, very normal, even for the 6 year old. I can remember my son's preschool teacher talking to the kids about it - asking if any of them had gotten dressed all by themselves (only a couple) and encouraging the others to try. I knew several parents who were still working on this with their first and second grader.

Hang in there and just keep working at it. I would really try to do this over a weekend or during a time when you are not in a hurry. Give the kids lots of extra time the first couple of weeks, because this is a time consuming skill. But you can do this!

7 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

give them a (limited) choice in what to wear.
give them plenty of time to dress.
don't bother trying on super-busy mornings. work on it when your schedule is relaxed.
khairete
S.

7 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Have them pick out what they will wear (or just do it yourself if they don't care). Lay it out on the floor that night. The next morning when you see them say Go get yourself dressed! Honestly my son only was good at this by age 5. My daughter was great at it by age 4. Yes, they will be slow. Some kids are more slow and more easily distracted. One way to get them to be faster about it is to say go get dressed and when you are done you are allowed to do xx/eat these yummy pancakes/watch your cartoon (or whatever motivates your kids).

6 moms found this helpful

B.P.

answers from Chicago on

When our son was being potty trained, we did a pictorial diary of what he had to do in the bathroom. And, it was lot more than I had ever imagined...from pulling down his pants, to sitting down, to flushing, etc. We would go through that everyday so he could see all the steps involved, which helped tremendously.

You could do something similar with your kids. What is automatic for us, can be pretty overwhelming for them.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You can't expect them to just hop up and get dressed. You have to take time every day and teach them. Like "This is how to tell the front of your pants from the back" and "This is how you figure out how to put your socks on". They need a step by step lesson. Over and over.

I dressed the kids to some extent even when they were learning how to dress themselves. I would help them and guide them through it as I was doing it.

"This is how you put your pants on, this is where you find the tag in your shirt so you can put that on the back of your neck, and this is your right shoe, can you show me your right foot?".

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

have they take out the clothes the night before that they want to wear and give them a time frame to get dressed. If they can't do it? Tell them that you will dress them.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.G.

answers from Fort Myers on

My son started to dress himself when he was 3. Hes 4 now and can be lazy about it. He doesn't want to do it himself sometimes. I hand him his clothes and tell him hes a big boy - he does it.

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E.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

We usually have the tv on in the morning. I'll usually tell them to get dressed while I go shower. I'll tell them, if they can watch tv and get dressed that's fine, but if they aren't dressed by the time I get back, the tv goes off. I've only had to turn it off a couple of times and they are dressed early. Our big problem in the morning is finding shoes.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.L.

answers from Denver on

I had to laugh....the first thing I thought of is how long it takes my middle school kid to get dressed! Ha! At least your kids being young have a good excuse!
Mornings are tough no matter how you slice it. Everyone is tired, and it's pulling teeth all the way. When my dd was younger, we would pick out clothes the night before. It sounds funny, but on cold days, I would get her up, then put her clothes in the dryer just for a minute to warm them up. She would put them on REALLY fast before they cooled off. Worked like a charm!
Now that I think about it, I should do that now!

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

If you have the tv on in the morning put it on to the news channel that way there or no cartoons. News channels usually give out the time and after a certain amount of routine, they should know where they are in getting ready so that they can leave on time.

You could have them pick their clothes out the night before and hang them in arm's reach. This would make sure that the shoes are also nearby and no be hunted in the morning. Teach them how to put their clothes on from the inside to the outside. Repetition is going to be your best friend. Set a timer so that they know when they should be done.

Good luck. Make sure no one changes the channel or they lose a privilege for the night.

the other S.

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