How Do I Get My Husband to Talk to His 'Ex-wife" & Express He Is Not Happy?

Simple. Stop making your husband talk to his Ex! He is not your child, he's your husband. He doesn't want to talk to her and from what you've said nothing good comes of it when he does. So stop!
Your son is 16, you're just going to have to raise him the best you can when he's with you. You can't worry about what she's going to do. You have no control over that no matter how much you want it. If you don't feel comfortable with your son taking the truck to his mom's house, then tell him the truck is for his use when he's at your house. If he gets into an accident and there is a bill to be paid you and your husband are going to pay it, if you can't accept that then get rid of the truck.
Bottom line is that things aren't going to go your way. Your husband isn't going to get on the line and tell off his ex. That doesn't mean he's in love with her. His ex isn't going to all-of-a-sudden decide to start openly communicating with you about your son and raising him the way you want.

Once you accept these things and let them go you will be free to have a much more loving, peaceful relationship with your husband.

I had a totally different response than before I read "He says that he would never go back to her if something ever happened to me but I don't believe that to be true!! "

Based on that comment alone, I would suggest you talk to a therapist or at least work on communicating your feelings with your husband about YOUR relationship, not the ex-wife. You obviously have trust issues, and that is so hurtful to your relationship. Work on you guys!!

Before that, I was going to say: If you are so worried about your son damaging the truck at her place or while under her supervision, and she has already refused to pay for it, then don't let the truck go there. Frankly, I don't understand that issue: if the son is driving, isn't he responsible for the damages? You and you husband are very kind to buy him a truck and pay for his insurance. Perhaps you could work a deal with him? You said yourself that the ex has no money and only one car- so why should she pay or agree to pay anything to do with the child's luxury (because I think having a truck at 16 is a luxury). I think that this is a case of you having to make sure your husband and you set ground rules for the truck that you expect the child to follow regardless of where he's staying for the night or weekend or whatever. Let him know what the consequences are for betraying your trust, and then write an email to the ex if you think she needs to be informed of the rules. Then let it go. Pay attention to the child's driving, not his mother's reaction or lack of one. You won't change her.

I would absolutely NOT PUSH your husband to talk to his ex-wife. Especially if it is stressing your relationship with him. Obviously they didn't work things out when they were married, and there's no reason you should expect them to now- no matter how much he loves you or his child (children) with her. If she is not being negligent, then perhaps e-mail is the best way to go. That or a real letter on paper. If she is negligent, then a phone call (or something more dire) would be warranted.

Sorry if this sounds harsh- It is not meant to offend, and nuances are often lost in writing! I wish you the best of outcomes that involve no straight jackets ;-) Good luck!

whoa there nellie-if something happens to the truck while it is in the sons posession, HE (the son) gets to pay any deductable that there is with the insurance! That's called RESPONSIBILITY.
Every other communication should be by e-mail-that way if you ever end up back in court there is a paper trail. If the ex chooses not to respond, let the judge by the judge. Don't make this harder than it is.

I don't even need to read your whole question to tell you that this is not a simple fix...at least not simple enough to get help on this form. There is so much history and this really is a classic case of how guys deal with stuff vs how girls deal with stuff...neither ways are wrong, just different.

Regardless, you are WAY too involved in the situation. If you don't feel like you can step out of it on your own and leave it between your husband and his ex wife, then I would suggest counseling immediately. Clearly this is making you crazy and it's a situation that you have ZERO control over. So you either need to let it go on your own and let your husband deal with it on his own or you need to seek some professional help for how to cope.

Let me just say this though: If your husband still had feelings for his ex wife, then you would be seeing a lot more emotion out of him. However it sounds to me like one of two things is happening. 1. He simply doesn't care enough to get mad or 2. He's terrified of her. But in either case, sounds like he just wants nothing to do with her EVER!! So I wouldn't worry about him going back to her if something happened to you. And in any light...if by "something" happening to you, you mean dying...then why would you care if he went back to her?

L. WoW, give it to God Cast all your troubles upon him for he cares 1 peter 5:7

JoAnn and Marlene are right-on.