How Do I Get My Almost 3 Year Old to Learn to Fall Sleep on Her Own?

You need to get your life back. You will be so happy you did, but it won't be easy. The only thing that worked for my son was letting him cry. I know some parents think this is the worst thing you can do to a child. But we had to do it. We tried all the "transitional" methods -- sitting in a chair across the room for example -- and nothing worked.

So, I gave him about a week's notice that I would not be laying in/sitting by his bed with him anymore. We talked about it EXTENSIVELY so that he understood what was going to happen. We follow a very predictable routine before bed (bath, books and milk/pretzels, brush teeth, one more book, snuggle in chair together for no more than five minutes, then he gets in his bed). We had the routine well set before the change of us not staying with him til he fell asleep.

The first night, he screamed for about two hours, pounded on the door, told me how mad he was at me. It was the worst two hours of my life. The second night, he cried for about 10 minutes. The third night, he just gave a single protesting yell and fell right to sleep. At this point, he will occasionally cry for about a minute at most, then he's done for the night.

ETA: He was around 2 and a half when we did this.

Good luck!

Hello! Been there, done that! Finding ourselves doing the exact same thing that you're doing when our daughter was 3 years old, one night I'd had it. I told our daughter that all of her friends her age -- and her cousin, her exact same age -- go to bed on their own because they're "big" kids now. I told her that their moms and dads do not lay down with them until they fall asleep and now it's time for her to do the same. I installed a cute clock within eyesight of her bed and told her, "When the big hand reaches this point (usually 15 minutes later), you should be asleep."

It worked. At 3 yo, your daughter definitely can be reasoned with and can understand that she is no longer a baby. Try it, you may be pleasantly surprised. Good luck!

Sorry about my english, I live in Brazil. First there is no way you can do that without a little bit of crying in the beginning.You put her in bed and explain that now is time to sleep and you are going to sleep too in your bed. Tell her that you are leaving and will close the door ,then turn around and DO that. She will cry but you have to be strong and leave her crying, she will stop eventually.If she get up and open the door you have to put her again on the bed and say again that now she has to sleep by herself .Don't take too long, say that and leave the room .You probably have to do that 10 times but don't give up, next that will be easier.

Hi, I had the same scenario (I rocked my daughter to sleep for about 3.5 years every night for anywhere between 30-90 minutes) I feel your pain, I never had dinner before 9pm, it was ridiculous. I love my daughter more than life but I knew I needed a bit of me time before passing out of exhaustion (I had a brand new baby at the time so I got no sleep)
Anyway, this is what worked for me: we went to the pediatrician and she was the one that told her that she was a big girl and she needed to sleep on her own bedroom. Boy, did I take that to heart? We went home and I firmly repeated her that unless she wanted to go back to the doctor she had to sleep on her own bed (we used to co-sleep after rocking her for that long) the first night she complained but she knew I was serious about taking her back to the doctor. Now, I read her books, rock her and sing to her a couple of songs then I put her in her bed and tell her I have to go chase her brother to put him to sleep and I can't sit with her anymore.
The one tip is once you are 'working on it' don't go back or she will know you can be easily convinced.
And for the records, it is ok to want that down time, yes we are parents by choice (I wouldn't trade it for anything) but in order to care for them I have to care for myself at least for a few minutes each day. Hang in there and stick to your guns.

3 years old? I say whatever gets you through the night. Here's what we do.

We let our children stay up and look at books. They have a small light over their headboards and they are allowed to look at books. We tell them they can look at books for as long as they want, they just can't get out of bed unless it's an emergency. Sounds crazy? Nope. It takes just about five minutes of looking at LEGO magazines and then my 4 year old is asleep. My 7 year old daughter is usually a half an hour. We tuck them in, tell them we'll be back to check on them, and we follow up a half hour later. And it's pretty rare they are still up. On the few occasions they are still up when we go up ourselves for the night (usually not later than 9:30) we tell them it's time to turn off the light. By then, they are very sleepy and ready to lay their heads down.

Do my other mom friends think I'm nuts by not putting the hammer down and forcing them into a set schedule? Yes. But not only are we enjoying a more relaxed bedtime, we are cultivating kids that actually like to pick up books and learn to read. It might turn out to bite us in the butts some day, but for right now, it works beautifully. I would find some lovely picture books at the library; animals, princess stories, anything you think she might be interested in.

Good luck to you!

I hate to tell you, this will be hard because she is so old now. We started our DD at 4 months and she is 3 now and sleeps 7-7 with no naps during the day. We start telling her about 30 mins before bed time "it is almost time for bed" so she knows. we get dressed in pjs, read a few books and then in the bed she goes. She has a little music box she listens to, and thats it. She curls up with her doll and out the lights go. She doesnt like any light in the room so it is completely dark in there and she sleeps like a champ. This will take some weaning on your part to train her. You could try the super nanny technique. She puts them in the bed and when they get up, she takes them right back to the bed saying "its bedtime". next time they get up you say"bedtime" and put them back and then if they get up after that you keep taking them to the bed with no words. You have to train them that this is the new sleep routine. You can do it! Good luck!

We used the Ferber method, we used it early at 3/4 months. Our son is 15 months old now. Our bedtime routine includes a story and milk in a sippy cup in the living room. I carry him to his crib when either the milk or the story is finished. I sing a lullaby, and about 1/2 way through, he leaps out of my arms and into his crib. I put on his mobile, he grabs hold of his blanket, I stroke his head and tell him that mommy & daddy love him very much, he smiles at me, I leave the room and he's asleep before the mobile is through its cycle.

If he wakes up in the middle of the night, which he sometimes does, he just puts his mobile on himself, and goes back to sleep.

He sleeps from roughly 8pm-7am daily and has done so since he was 4.5 months old (except when my MIL was around this summer "helping").

Ferber is h*** o* you, but it only runs a week or so, then if you have done it right, it is largely over and done with, and you can look forward to many nights of blissful rest.

She's only three years old. She needs the comfort of one of you to help her fall asleep. That's not unusual and it's not ridiculous either. The fact that she's falling asleep in her own bed is a good thing and that means she's come a long way, but right now she needs one of you with her to actually fall asleep. It's scary to sleep alone, especially if you have her sleep without a night light.

This is part of parenting. This means that some of your time with your husband will just have to be moved to later in the evening. You don't have to sacrifice time together, just move it to later. That's what being a parent is about. Not fixing the child to accommodate your needs, but accommodating the child's needs.

I didn't read other answers, but what worked well for my kids was making a bedtime chart together, listing all the things to do before bedtime (we cut out pics from magazines, too, since they couldn't read yet). So, we have brush your teeth (with a pic of a toothbrush), go potty (with a pic of a potty), etc. Then we would look at what's first on the chart, do it, then look at the chart again to see what's next...etc. Our last thing on there was staying in your bed and sleeping all night long! It worked for them after they got into the routine.
You could also tell her when you put her to bed: Ok, now mommy's going to get ready for bed, too. I'm going to put on my pajamas, then I'll come back and check on you. Take a few minutes to do that, then check on her. If she's still awake, say, now mommy's going to brush her teeth, then I'll come back and check on you, and maybe try to make it a little longer between checks each time. Just a suggestion. Hope you find something that works!