How Do I Get 10 Mo Old to Sleep Through the Night?

Hi there,

I know how you feel. I dont like the cry it out thing either. I usually caved in about ten minutes. However, my mother told me that I needed to add just a few additional routines to my evening before I put them to bed. First play with them....going out side is great because they get the fresh air and letting them walk some energy out. My babies ate jar foods and cereal at that age and was on some table foods too. I made them a dinner. Try mashed potatos with some gravy and at first let him put his hand in it and discover what it is as you are trying to feed him. Filling his belly is very important before he goes to bed. After eating give him a warm bath and then either try giving him a bottle. At ten months I slowly introduced my babies to whole milk. I put a itty bitty amount of ovaltine in the milk and they loved it. It was almost immediately that they began to sleep better abd better until about a week later they were sleeping all night. It was amazing. You see my mama told me that the baby was tired but hungry and when they wake up and get just enough "milk or breast milk" to top off the hunger pain they fall back to sleep only to wake again not long after. The play time spend the extra energy, the bath calmed and relaxed, finally the feeding filled their bellies.

Good luck and let us know whatever you find that works for you.

Hi B.,
I am very much not a 'let them cry it out' mom either, never have been...and my oldest is now 18...my youngest is a bit over 2. It breaks my heart to hear them cry, but gosh I know what it is like to be a 'Mommy Zombie' and don't miss those days either. I know that nursing is a wonderful experience...I would suggest that if you want to continue that precious time, perhaps nurse him his regular bedtime (making sure he is nice and full)...at 10 months he does not 'need' to eat in the middle of the night, this is a habit.
There will be a rough patch to break this habit and get him to sleep through the night, I would enlist your husband to help, so start on a Friday night.
When he wakes, go in to his room quietly, gently lay him back down, cover him back up, rub his head, or pat his back, and tell him in a whisper that it is time for sleep. Then immediately leave. Now don't fool yourself, he is going to cry because he is used to getting fed, but he will not starve, and you are not hurting him in anyway I promise you. You and your husband can take turn doing this as many times as needed.
Never turn on the light, never speak above a whisper, no big conversation, not alot of eye contact...

At this age you can also use a crib sooother to help him fall asleep, they usually play for 2-3 minutes, so you could tell him its time for sleep and turn it on, then leave. When the music stops, if he is still upset, go back in and start again.

I also have white noise makers in my boys' rooms, I got both at Babies R Us. About $20 I think...My 2 year old likes to listen to the thunderstorm and rain, and my 5 year old who has Autism listens to aquarium noises.

If you stick to your guns (and I know it is hard) I think by Sunday night, he will be sleeping better and so will you!

Good Luck!

What you are decsribing is extremely NORMAL!!! It is funny how we expect our little ones to sleep all night long, it is an outragous expectation! I understand you need some rest, have you thought of just bringing him in your room when he wakes for the rest of the night? He'd probably feel more secure and sleep better, as would you. I know the negative rap co-sleeping has, but it is actually a practice that has kept the human race going for thousands of years, and can be done safely. Check out Dr. Jack McKenna's website, he has a book all about the normal sleep patterns of babies. Good for you for not wanting to cry it out, that is inhumane, in my opinion. However, the expectation that a 10 month old can soothe himself is also part of that same philosophy. Sometimes we moms need to listen to our hearts more and what everyone else in our society seems to be saying less. You might also try The No Cry Sleep Solution. It would also be of your benefit to surround yourself with friends who support your efforts, a La Leche League meeting is a good place to start. I have met some of my best, most supportive friends from their meetings. Always listen to your heart.

The problem is that in order to get your son to "self sooth" you have to give him the opportunity to do it. You stated that "I don't do the cry it out thing and all that did was make us all cranky." How long did you try doing this? Was it one night of crying? Was it a week? Also, you said that you are trying to only nurse once per night. At age 10 months, your little guy should be able to make it through the night without nursing at all. Trust me, the crying it out thing will work. I am the mother of 4 kids, and have had to let all of them cry it out at some point. I know it is tough when you don't get enough sleep, but if you don't want to be up at night for the next couple of years, then I suggest you tough it out. Have a little faith in your son- he will figure it out if you give him the chance!

I really think you should try to let him CIO alittle. I know it is hard. He shouldn't have to eat at all during the night at 10 months. My daughter was getting up every 4 hours until she was 6 months, I told my husband we have to try just for a couple nights, I was exhausted b/c I was the one getting up with her. She did great and slept through the night in 3 days. The first night she cried for 30 minutes and it was very hard. I also started putting her down for naps and leaving, letting ehr put herself to sleep. Best of luck. Healthy Sleep habits, happy baby is a good book to try.
M.
Medina, ohio

Hi B..
Good luck on this sleeping issue. I know how tough it is! I recently read a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise" and it has been a blessing for me. I have an almost 7 week old and he's not sleeping through the night, but he gives me 5 hours at night, and I know that me reading and trying to do the methods in this book have really contributed to that. The book says that if you stick to it, that most kids are sleeping through the night by the third day of the routine. I highly recommend getting the book. Good luck!

Been-there/done that. My middle child never slept through
the night until we gave him a baby brother who slept through
the night even when he was cutting teeth. The middle child -
woke up several times in the night for his bottle. He never
wanted a pacifer or blanket or anything - just mommy. I started breastfeeding him but went to the bottle around 10 months. I stopped putting milk in the bottle during the
night and just put water in it. He still kept waking up.
I just kept loving him. He just needed that extra loving and
security - i guess. He is a grown man now and very loving.
He is very patient and loving with his own children & others.
My advice would be to hang in there and keep loving your
baby. He will grow up someday.
Some babies just need more loving and security and hugs.
Our first born loved her pacifer and blanket and our third
child sucked two of his fingers and rubbed his blanket. The
middle child just wanted mommy.

"The Baby Whisperer" is great for correcting sleep problems! I don't agree with some of the begining stuff but if you skip it all and go straight to the end where she explains how to correct night-waking and nursing without making your baby cry-it-out I think you'll find it helpful:) I know the library has it but you might have to wait for it. I also have a copy I'm done with if you want to buy it from me.

Does he know how to get back down once standing? Do you see him do it during the day? Is there enough light in his room (nightlight is fine) for him to see to do it at night or is it pitch black? Most babies learn to stand up OK but take a few weeks to learn how to sit back down without falling. During this time, it's pretty common for them to stand up and cry at night until someone comes to help them back down - they get 'stuck' and cry for help. You can practice sitting back down with him during the day. It took all my kids about a week to get through this period.

Hi B.,

I have a 10 month old son myself and my husband and I just went through this. I hope some of our tricks will work for you.

*First, make sure he has a full tummy before bedtime. We will give our son a small dish of cereal and then give him his milk/nurse him.

*We make sure that he is nice and cozy-warm in his PJ's. Our son's room is a little cooler for some reason than the rest of our bedrooms, so we actually double up on his sleepers to be sure that he stays warm.

*Our son is notorious for peeing out of his diaper so we put him in the next size diaper so that we don't have to worry about leaks. (I mention these last two because it took us a few night to realize he wasn't warm enough.)

*And when/if he does wake up in the night, just let him fuss it out. Now, I know this isn't easy but it's the best thing for him and you! What you'll find is that the first night he might wake up 3-4 times. The next night only 2-3 and the next night 1-2 until he sleeps all the way through. Really, the first few nights of this are the hardest, but it doesn't take long. If they are waking up and we go in and get them, they aren't sleeping well either. My rule of thumb is this, if he crys for a solid 5 minutes, then I go get him. But if it's 3-4 solid minutes followed by 2-4 minutes of him thinking about crying again, then start the timing over when he crys again. This means that he is getting too tired to cry about it and he will soon be back to sleep.

*Since I work in the morning I typically wake the baby at 5 a.m. or 6 a.m. to feed/nurse him before I go to work. That way my husband can get his rest as well. They never mind being woke up to nurse and he'll go right back down for you.

I know this was a lengthy response, but I really hope it helped. If you don't have it, get the book "What To Expect The First Year". It addresses this issue of sleeping through the night.
Good Luck!!
S.

Not knocking anyone else's parenting methods in the least but I BF and coslept with my daughter. She nursed till she was 22 months and since my MiL lives with us she prefers to sleep with Memaw instead of on her own.
When she was 10 months old she was still nursing 2-3 times a night. And even when she was 22 months there were times that she would nurse in the middle of the night but as she slept with me all that involved was rolling over and letting her nurse.
If you don't want to cosleep then I would suggest what some of the other moms have said, burn out any extra energy in the evening, feed him, and then give him a bath to relax him. I would still expect him to wake once or twice a night at 10 months but that's just from my experience. I hope you find something that works for you.
My prayers are with you,
S.

We eventually had to let ours cry, as excruciating as it was. It got easier with each child because we knew what a payoff it would have, and we could see from the older one(s) that we had done no permanent emotional damage! But my last one was remarkably easier because I discovered ear plugs! I would put one in and lay my other ear on the pillow... I could still hear that he was crying, but it was quieter so it significantly reduced my emotional response. When it started to seem that he wasn't crying as much I could just lift my head off the pillow and hear for sure. Like others have said, you would have to expect a couple/few days where you don't get much sleep, and some of their suggestions seem good, too... but ear plugs in addition just might add a bit more sanity. :) I wouldn't use them if they completely blocked out the crying, since that would be unsafe, and I also never used them if my husband or another adult wasn't in the house just in case I really fell asleep and missed sounds I should hear.

First, Good for you for not letting your baby cry it out!! SO mamy moms posted how difficult it was for them. It was difficult for a reason. We are supposed to respond to our babies cries- not ignore them! It doesn't meam your a "sissy" as one mom stated you are listening to your mommmy instincts. Many studies have been done showing the negative effects this has on babies. If you need to wear ear plugs because your baby is crying that hard then something is wrong. My daughter is 7 months and still nurses frequently through the night. She sleeps with us so she never fully wakes, i never fully wake and we all sleep better for it. Your baby will only be a baby for so long and this stage will pass. My daughter has also never taken a bottle or pacifier and is still not interested in solids either that much. I am going to try giving her more oatmeal and breastmilk mix in the evening to see if that helps her sleep a little longer. If you are not opposed to it I would bring him in your bed with you after he wakes the first time and see if that helps. Sleeping with your little one can be a wonderful thing! Good luck!

Hello, I am a mom of a 13 month girl. I read in The Baby book by Sears that some babies do good sleeping in cribs others prefer the close contact of co-sleeping. Our baby sleeps with us and she breast feeds at night about twice. It works great for all of us, I turn around and give her my breast and neither of us fully awakes, we have great nights. She has never had a bottle and was done with the pacifier by five months. I personally believe that children as they grow learn from us how to soothe themselves but when they are little they like to be soothed by us, I personally don't see anything wrong with this. Good luck. C.

I have to tell you that I don't know, but hang on, relief will come! I think at about 10 months what we started doing was bringing a bottle of water up when we put our son to bed. I honestly think that it wasn't just habit that was waking him, nor hunger, but thirst! It was surprising to see how quickly we were down to only 1 feeding a night after starting to do that! I never wanted to be a 'cry it out' mom, but when he was 6 months and still eating 5 times a night I felt obligated to try. My husband and I held each other and cried for 3 1/2 terrible weeks while our son would cry and cry (we tried the ferber technique) for nearly 2 hours every night before passing out from exhaustion. It was awful. and despite what all the books and all the other moms say, it NEVER got any better. Then just after he reached 7 months he figured out how to climb out of his crib -he is quite strong. So we gave up that idea.
Now he has just turned one and like someone flipped a switch is sleeping through the night. It just happened naturally. So bide your time, follow your instinct and see if maybe he is thirsty! Good luck and know that the day will come, sometimes surprisingly soon!

B.:

Because I have 6 wonderful children that range in ages from 7 to 17 - I have glorious experience on this. I never enjoyed waking up in the wee hours, so I would take a bottle of formula and add some rice cereal to it, and then I'd slit the nipple a little to better enable the rice to come out - and then let them drink to their hearts content, this way, the baby was full and would sleep for longer stretches. I pray you are blessed to the fullest with your beautiful boys.

M. G.

My son also woke up every 45 minutes to 90 minutes from age 6 months until I learned how to handle it. I suspect gastric reflux was partly to blame, but also, he really needed me to teach him to sleep.

Fortunately, I read about a method offered by John Rosemond that really worked: Simply go in every five minutes, pat his tummy or legs for one minute (don't pick him up) and leave, to return in five minutes.

This lets the child know you haven't abandoned him.

I'd tried the "cry it out" method with my daughter, and I thought, no way is this going to work, but in desperation, I tried anyway. (I strongly reccommend starting this when you put him down for his nap rather than at night -- at 3 in the morning, you don't have the willpower not to do this until you've proven to yourself that it works.)

Anyway, I set my timer for five minutes and proceded to vacuum the basement. The first day, it took him 23 minutes to fall asleep. The second day, it took 20. The third day, he was asleep in about 7 minutes, and the fourth, he didn't make it to the 5 minute mark.

After a week of practice with the nap, I started doing it at night. He wasn't too pleased, but since I knew it would work eventually, I gutted it out. I strongly recommend a handheld video game, a good magazine or a good book to help you weather this time.

He's not the world's best sleeper -- he'll awake from time to time, but when he's healthy, I lose no more than 10 minutes of sleep a night, as opposed to 3-4 hours before.

One caveat -- my son couldn't stand up when we started this -- after he learned to stand in his crib, it was like starting from scratch the first night or two, since that was all new and different!

Good luck!1

Miss B.,

The bst thing that I can sugest is to give the lil one 1 bottle just before bedtime with a small amount of babies rice cereal in it, you will need to inlarge the hole at the top or buy a nipple that is set up for that. you can use breast milk for this just the same as formula. Either or will work just fine, start out small and work your way up to the right mix for you baby, the rice will swell up in he babies belly and he will sleep through the night with out becomming hungery. I started doing this with my son at about 2 or 3 months of age. it has worked well with all 5 of the boys. I really hope that this helps you and your family get a good nights sleep.

R.

I have been there, and if you value your rest, I would do what you said in the middle of your letter.....hook him up and go back to sleep.
That is how we managed with 6 children in 10 years...we could not afford to miss sleep.
We always put them to bed in their own beds but they were welcome in our king-size bed if they awoke in the middle of the night.
So, you must do what is best for you.
I was a better mother during the day since I got my rest at night.

B.,

If you're son is waking up to nurse or using you to soothe himself try this. If he will take a bottle, start watering it down a little more every night, eventually he won't bother to wake up for a feeding when he knows all he's going to get is water.

As far as the crying it out goes, it's very hard, we did that with both of our kids, trust me every night your child will cry less and less before he goes back to sleep. If your child can not climb out of his crib - I would totally let him just cry it out - he won't learn how to self soothe if you don't give him the chance - also you may try, if you haven't already, to get one of the voice activated crib music players, that could help too.

My husband and I also let our kids (5 - he doesn't do this as often anymore and 2) come in and sleep with us if they wake up in the middle of the night or wake up early in the morning especially in the winter because they are very warm. We have an open door policy to our room. They always start out in their own beds and sometime they end up in our bed in the morning and sometimes not.

I hope some of this helps.

good luck and God bless
Mel

Hi, B..
I think this is one of the most difficult problems! My little girl is 20 months old and she sleeps all night. It took some doing, but, trust me, it is easier when they are still in a crib, so work on it now. I was very much against crying it out. It seemed cruel, went against my instincts, etc, but in the end, it works. I recommend Dr. Ferber's book. I can't remember the title, but he seems to be the main "cry it out" guy. I read it with reluctance, but he explains things in such a way, that they make sense and I no longer see them as cruel, but helpful. Your baby will be happier with more sleep, too! If you read what he has to say, and still just can't do it, take comfort in knowing your little one will eventually outgrow this! I think he's too little for solid food, but that's just me! Good luck. It really will get better!

Hi B.,

Give your son some rice cereal before his last bottle feeding. My daughter is 11 mo and we started that at 3 weeks to keep her fuller longer. We give it (15 baby spoons of dry rice cereal, then mix with 4 oz formula) to her at 6pm followed by a bottle (8oz) and she goes into her crib at 7pm and doesn't get up until 7am the next day. This will keep his tummy full so you know it won't be hunger (my daughter won't touch food yet). Also, we have the Rainforest Soother in her crib and we turn it on before we leave the room so she can watch it. She will turn it on sometimes in the mornings too. Unfortunately, too, our daughter still has to be swaddled. I don't know how to break it, but she won't sleep if she's in there and standing. I'm not sure I would recommend doing it now, because it's something else to break later, but we use the Swaddle Me blanket and wrap her in that too. She usually gets out of it in the morning, but at least she isn't up during the middle of the night, ya know? Gosh...you must be exhausted. I hope this helps.

My son has always slept wonderfully thru the night. Thank goodness. He will sleep in real late too but lately he has been waking up alot too. I personally think its b/c he is teething. Like you said, if I get to him quickly, reattach the pacifier he usually rolls back over and goes to sleep. If its real bad maybe you should see if maybe teeth are coming in .. motrin or take him to be seen if he might have an ear infection. My first son used to wake up alot , when I would take him in he always had an ear infection.

If you get this figured out, please pm. me and let me know. My son is two and just now learning how. Part of the problem is that I just can't be a "let them cry it out" kind of mom. There's not a darned thing wrong with it. I'm just a big old sissy. The day will come when they no longer cry for me, so I come when they cry now. One day it will happen and baby will sleep all night. I have five and four of them sleep through the night. I don't now how it happenned or why, they just do. I certainly never found the magic to make it happen. I guess they did it in spite of me.

Dear B.;
First, I know you are so tired, so pray for wisdom and guidance and strength to carry out the plan that is going to be best for your family. Second, remember these years are temporary. Each day may drag now because you are so tired, but your husband is right. If you can, before you implement the plan I am going to try to outline below, get 1-2 good naps in 2 days in a row if your husband is off or you can get a family member or friend to come over a morning or afternoon so you can get several hours of sleep in a row. I would go for 3 -4 hours if you can get it. Discuss the plan with your husband so you have his support and he knows you will be extra tired until Gabe sleeps through the night. Then --
If you don't do the same thing with your Gabe each night, begin a nighttime ritual. Give him some cereal with 1-2 ounces of breast milk before or after a warm bath. If you haven't tried adding some applesauce to his cereal, try that as well to encourage the solid food. Then snuggle and sing with him or talk to him soothingly as he nurses before bed. Have dad take over Zacs nighttime ritual so he won't distract you while you are getting Gabe ready for bed. Be sure that you give Zac his nighttime hugs and kisses.
Don't nurse Gabe again for at least 6 hours after you put him to bed. Gradually spread the time out as he sleeps longer.
Expect to get up and plan ahead how you are going to handle it. I recommend when he cries, go in pat him on the bottom, tell him (whatever you call nite nite)It's nite nite time. Time for Gabe to go to sleepin a soothing tone . Sing your soothing nite nite song he heard before bed. Don't take him out of his crib. Leave the room. Let him cry for 5 minutes, go back in the room and repeat the same. Put him down if he is up. Pat him on the bottom or rub his tummy. Tell him it is nite nite take less time this time and leave the room. Go back in 5 minutes if he is crying and repeat. Increase the time to 10 minutes then 15 minutes before you go back in there. If Zac is awake, you can go in with him until the next visit to Gabes room. You should only have to do this a few nights in a row and then you will get several hours in a row. It is good if you have your husband's support. Tell Zac your plan before you do it. If you say prayers with Zac, add help Gabe eat his cereal and sleep good at night so mommy and I can sleep. Tell dad to add it to his prayers if you begin this plan. When he is eating more at night and sleeping through the night, you will have something to celebrate with Zac and Dad because they were part of the plan! And you may even feel like celebrating after a couple of good nights sleep in a row!
May God bless your family and your efforts! -- L.