How Do I Explain Babies to a 4 Year Old?

Updated on September 25, 2008
J. asks from Forest Park, IL
4 answers

I am pregnant with my 3rd child (due in March). We have not yet told our other 2 because I am sure our 4 y.o. will want to know how the baby got in there in the first place. I don't feel it is time for the big talk with her, but I am not going the "stork" route either. Anybody have any ideas...books or just simple explaination that might satisfy a curious toddler? Thanks!

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

GREAT QUESTION!
Speaking as the mother of three who are 22, 19 & 17 the 'big talk' is really a never ending series of talks as opportunities arise.
Since I was told next to nothing about sex ed I have made it a point to answer all my kids questions. (I remember asking my mother 'what is a lesbian?' & she told me 'a person from Lesbia').
Of course the answers are age appropriate.
When I told my 4 year old I had a baby in my tummy he asked how it would come out. So I told him through a special hole. He asked where it was so I told him near the hole I use to pee. When he asked if he could see it I told him no he couldn't because it was private. Of course he asked how it got in my tummy so I told him daddy & I loved each other very much so we got very very close to each other & asked God to send us a baby. During their junior high years their sex ed classes prompted questions about masturbation, wet dreams, tampons and abortion.
There were other times that their questions caught me off guard so I bought some time by telling them we would talk about it later~ but I always made sure to get back to them with an answer. This has kept the trust & communication going so that to this day they feel free to come to me with their questions.
This was many years ago & I hear you can get some very helpful age appropriate books now.
I commend you on planning ahead.

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R.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, J.. I don't know about your faith affiliation, but why not consider telling your daughter that Mommy and Daddy wanted another baby to love, so the two of you asked God for another baby and God put the baby in your belly? Simple, short and sweet!

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N.O.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,

Congrats! My 3 1/2 yo just asked how she and her brother got in my tummy and how they came out. I told her "When mommy and daddy decided we wanted to have a baby we prayed and God gave us a baby." She was completely satisfied wih that answer. God is still a vague concept to her but it seemed logical enough. I also told her "Babies can come out of your tummy or your vagina, it just depends"...that was that...for now!

I'll be interested to see what others say...

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

When I was pregnant with my 2nd, my first asked me how the baby got in there (1st child was 3 at the time). I told her that all mommies have an "oven" in their bodies. The daddy puts the baby in the mommy oven. The baby will come out when it's ready. Seemed to satisfy her curiousity at that time.

I agree with the other poster that this is an on going discussion.

Good luck!

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