How Do I Begin to Tell My 5 Year Old Daughter the Cat Died?

What we did when my 3yr old daughter bird died,was let her see it for herself. She asked questions and we answered them. Treat her like a big girl. Explain what happened,you could also re-enforce it with leaves and how they die with the change of season. It may be difficult but she'll understand.

Hi M., I had a problem telling my daughter we had to put my dog to sleep. I just told her that he was sick(he was 14) and he was very very old and he is in Heaven now. I told her if she ever wants to talk to him, she can just look up into the sky and talk to him. It just happens as I was telling her this, there was a plane passing over our house. So now everytime a plane passes by, she waves and says Hi Winston ... It probably didn't help that my husband brought home a puppy for her for her birthday the month after we put our other dog down. But this helped by telling her that she can talk to him anytime she wanted...It is kind of cute when a plane passes by... I wish you lots of luck, I know the situation in..
Take care,
Jen

I have found that in situations like this, honesty is really the best policy. I don't know how much she has experienced with death, have any relatives passed that she knew? I'm sure at this point you aren't sure why the cat died, but if she was ill, I would tell your daughter that. It's important to let her know that animals react different ways than people, that your daughter won't die the next time she gets sick. When my MIL's dog had to be put down, I sat with my boys to tell them that Cuddles had been sick for a while and the medicine she was taking was just not doing it's job any longer. They were sad and we made cards for Cuddles. When my dad passed away two years later, their first thought was that Cuddles had someone to play with now! Keep it as simple as you can, but be prepared for questions. Your daughter may not have any, she may have a lot. Keep the answers simple, but let her know that you will be there if she needs to ask any more questions. Every so often, my boys still ask about the dog.(she's been gone almost 5 years now) On a positive note, your daughter is still young and there may be a posibility of having a new cat in the future. Good luck.

My family got a cat when I was in high school. He stayed home when I went off to college & became my Mom's cat. Back in the fall his age was starting to catch up to him (15yrs). It came to the point my Mom needed to ease his suffering & had him put to sleep. I cried as soon as I found out. When my 5yr old asked me why I was crying I told her I was sad because Wootzie had died. To my surprised she cried too. Her only interaction with him had been at my parents' house & more often than not he ran the other way when he saw my girls. But I guess enough attachment was there for her to feel the loss too. I was glad I was honest with her & glad we could share and comfort each other. I agree with previous postings, be honest, your daughter might surprise you. Children at this age are very resilliant & she might be what helps ease your saddness. My condolences on your loss!

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am attaching a link for you to view, hope it helps:
http://aacap.org/page.wwsection=Facts+for+Families&na...

Also, as a counselor I have worked with many grieving children before. An activity that they seem to enjoy is to create a drawing or a letter and attach it to a helium balloon. Then, we let them go up to "animal heaven". (This may not work for all families based on their faith/ belief system... but it might for yours.) This is an excellent way to help children express their feelings related to their loss. Often times, children lack the ability to discuss their feelings... a non-threatening activity like this may help. Good luck!

ADDING TO WHAT I WROTE BEFORE: JUST BUILDING OFF OF JEN C'S ADVICE OF THE HELIUM BALLOON. PERHAPS PLANTING A BABY TREE THAT WILL GROW FOREVER, IN MEMORY OF YOUR CAT?

Talk to her like a little person. Tell her the truth. I would advise against saying the cat was sick or that it went to sleep and won't wake up for she'll be afraid to get sick or go to sleep.

Tell her it is okay to be sad and ask as many questions as she wants. And, then find a way to commemerate you cat. A portrait on the wall, or maybe you can laminate a photo for your daughter to carry around with her.

I had to explain my father-in-law passing to my 2.5 year old son in January. We told him Grandpa went to heaven. He said "He's gonna come back." We said he can't come back and my son says "You gotta say please."

I understand how heartbreaking it will be. But, just don't hold anything back, tell the truth and tell her its is more than okay to mad, angry, scared or what have you.

I don't know if you guys are into the whole "heaven" thing but you can tell her your cat went there. The cat will never hurt or be sick again and the cat is looking down on all of you.

Good luck!

My daughter was 6 when the first of our two cats died. She was 17 and her illness had reached the point where it was best to ease her suffering and have her put to sleep. We were stuck on what to tell our daughter. She understood the concept of death but thought it happened naturally to old people. At her age she couldn't even begin to understand the idea of deliberately causing it in a beloved pet. My husband told her that Peaches was old and very sick, and when we took her to the vet that evening she wasn't coming home. Our daughter immediately understood that Peaches was going to die but didn't ask for any details. She cried for several days but as another poster said, kids are quite resilient and she got over it quickly. To help her feel better we ordered a memorial stone for Peaches and together we put it in a sunny corner of the yard to commemorate Peaches' love of spending long afternoons snoozing in her favorite sunny corner of the bedroom.

You might also want to buy or borrow from the library the book "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" by Judith Vorst (spelling?). It's about a boy whose cat Barney dies and to help him cope, his parents suggest he make up a list of ten good things about him. He quickly comes up with nine; the book follows his quest to find the tenth. After I read it with my daughter, we came up with our own list of ten good things about Peaches.

Our remaining cat Tramp was diagnosed with terminal cancer two months ago and was also put to sleep. He was 14. Our daughter is now 8 and after spending 2 days crying over him she quickly moved on and has been asking for a new cat ever since. The only reason we haven't gotten a new one is because I'm the one still grieving over my little guy and am not ready for a new cat.

M.
Our 13 yr. old dog was just put down last month. I also have a 5 yr. old daughter. We told her that she was very sick and we took her to the doctor and she was staying with him to see if he could make her well. Do you know she eventually forgot about the whole thing. She still hasn't asked about her. I think she think our dog is living with our vet now. You would be surprised how resiliant they are. I'm the one that's sad!!!!!

hi M., i just wanted to say that im sorry about your pet. i have no idea how you explain it, i would actually love to know what you did and how it went. on easter my mother in law wanted to take my 4 year old to the cemetary to see her parents, and i felt really bad but i made something up so he couldnt go because i had no idea how i was going to explain it to him. you just never know how their little minds are going to interpret these things... how did it go?

I Will start off by telling her that he has to leave and go to a better place that she cant go and it is best for him.