How Do I Ask for Funeral Donations?

Updated on March 23, 2013
M.Q. asks from Perris, CA
12 answers

Hello friends, my favorite uncle in this world lost his battle to colon cancer on Tuesday, and I would like to help my family raise the $4000 that they are short to cover his funeral costs. I am thinking about creating a public event on facebook requesting help and posting it on my auns fb (she has 2000 friends!) and also on my 3 cousins fb, in hopes that they can come up with the $ by tuesday, when it is due. I am going to include an account # where the money can be donated to. I have never done this before and I don't know exactly how to put my request into words. My uncle was an amazing gift. His whole life he was devoted to helping troubled teens and just anyone who needed help. I have never in my life met another person so positive, so generous and humble like him, I will miss him so much, I allready do. Thanks in advanced for any suggestions you may have.

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So What Happened?

Oh yes he was VERY involved with church, his whole life was Jesus Christ. I plan on asking his good friend to speak of him and this sutuation at their church on sunday, and I thought about making small memorial cards with the donation information. I think direct donations to my cousins will be the fastest way to raise the money, it is needed by tuesday. services are wed.

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answers from Dallas on

I am sorry for your loss.

I don't think setting up a fund with specific account info and asking for donations via FB is a very appropriate way to go. You could always mention in the obit "in lieu of flowers.... please donate" but that is still asking for money.

I agree that if you are asking for donations, you will probably get more positive help if you are giving something in return.

It's possible that the church can lend a hand by word of mouth of the situation. Also, how about asking the funeral home to set up a payment plan? If there are that many cousins and relatives, can't they chip in without having to ask others for money.

Think about how your uncle would feel if he knew his family was asking for money.

I know it is a tough situation and very delicate when it comes to donations. There is no really tactful way to flat out ask for money.

Hopefully the funeral home with work with your family so you don't have to take this route for money.

Best wishes to you all.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

I am sorry to hear of your loss. My cousin lost her battle to lung cancer May 12, 2012. The family didn't have the money for the arrangements.

**EDIT** They held off on the funeral for a week, while they raised the money.

The family held a car wash, which seemed impossible, but they pulled it off. Of course many of the distant family members got a $100+ car wash, but at the same time, once people knew what the money was going toward, they had no problem donating to the cause.

You should talk to your aunt about opening a trust account at her bank. Then you will be able to publicize the account for donations. You may want to set up a bake sale at your church. You may post signs stating the reason for the sale. I would post photos of him at the sale, so they know who he is. Write his story and include his trust account number to pass out at the sale.

Personally, I wouldn't post the account and ask for a donation, without something to offer. I think you will get a better response by offering something.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I am sorry for your loss. You are a special person to take the time to help your aunt.
I would talk to the folks at the bank. They will be experienced in setting up such accounts and probably have nice wording for you.

What I would do is make a sort of announcement on your Aunts Facebook page that is like an obituary. And like an obituary at the bottom "Donations are appreciated and can be made to help with funeral costs at ......."

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Was your uncle affiliated with a church? If so, I'd ask them for assistance.
If he was known in the community for helping others, they'd probably be able to help with fundraising, or some type of benefit.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I am so sorry for your lose I know that's a hard battle. What I would do is talk to his church first and see if they have a fund that helps their members with things like this. I know our church help a lot when my dad passed away. We couldn't have done it without them. Also posting something on facebook sounds like a good idea but I would tell people with serious inquirys on how they can help to contact you not put the account number out there for all to see cause accounts can get hacked and I would HATE for that to happen. Good luck!!!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on
And, it can also be tied to a FB account. But you have to open/create the FB account first. Then, open the Go Fund Me account.
And all donations, will be sent to a PayPal account, for the person to then retrieve it.
DO NOT IN ANY WAY, post an account number on any... website or social networking site. This is just asking to be, hacked and you will open yourself up to fraud or Identity Theft. That is not...

or, your local newspaper can have an article about it.
Someone has to contact them.

Or, many banks, will open up a donation account for a person due to hardship circumstances.
I have seen that many times in my city.
And whomever wants to donate/contribute to this cause, the bank will take their donations/checks. AND THEY DO NOT post the account number, for all the public to see! No way.

Do not use, an existing person's FB account to do this.
You NEED TO open up, a new and different FB account for this.
But you can tag it on someone's FB page, to garner publicity about it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm sorry about your uncle.

Like others have said, talk to the church.
Unfortunately, I don't think there's any good way to do this except for " in lieu of flowers, funeral donations may be sent to XYZ or to the funeral home."

I vote no on the FB page though....

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Raleigh on

If he was involved with the church, you can ask for a "love offering to help the family cover funeral expenses" in the funeral program. I think this would be the most tactful way to go about it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You don't have a lot of time. Talk to your uncle's church.
Talk to your local bank. They know all about setting up donation accounts.
If you run an obituary, it should mention that "Memorial contributions may be made to________________."

Also, talk to the funeral home. If you ask for contributions on facebook, perhaps they can be sent directly there in order to save time.

Best wishes.
I hope it all works out.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Funerals can be very expensive if you let it get out of hand. There are many many ways to cut down and do without. Have you cut down on all the extras that are not really necessary.

My aunts total costs were $4000. That was for cremation and all permits etc etc. I had to pay it myself. Cousins cried poverty which was BS. it is what it is.

If you need financial help, I would call . Did he have life insurance. Most of the time you sign the policy over to funeral home. They collect funds, take out the cost of funeral and give you the balance. So if he does have life Iinsurance, I would definitely not be asking for donations.



answers from Miami on

I don't know a lot about this kind of thing, so I don't have real suggestions, but I just wanted to make say to make sure you add the phone number of the bank and the name and address of the branch. People don't mind giving, but they don't want to get the wool pulled over their eyes by a fake, so give them the info they need to feel perfectly comfortable that this is the real deal.

I'm so sorry about your uncle. I hope that you can raise the funds.


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