How Different Were Your First and Second Pregnancies?

Updated on January 19, 2010
K.B. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
10 answers

I am the mom to an only child and recently my husband let me know that if we wanted to have another child we could. (This is after I had resigned myself to being the mother to an only child)I am concerned about a few issues and was wondering if I could get some input to help me decide.

Here is a little background:
My son will be 5yrs old next month
I am in my late 30's
My son was delivered by C-section
I am about 40lbs overweight but in good health ( don't drink, smoke or do drugs and have been a lazy vegan for about a year now with minimal junk foods)
When I was pregnant with my son I was about 10-15 lbs heavier than I am now and I am still trying to lose weight.

My question is:

How much weight did you gain in your second pregnancy versus your first?
Was your second pregnancy easier or harder than your first?
If you had complications in your first, Did you have more or less complications in your second?
If you were overweight at the beginning of your second pregnancy did you gain less weight than in your first? (I have met a couple of women that have not gained much in their second and actually ended up weighing less after the birth than when they got prenant. But not sure if that is normal or not).

I guess I am wondering if I need to wait until I weigh less or just roll the dice because my age is a factor in the possibility of complications or just being at a higher risk.
Any and all thoughts on this subject are welcome. I know everyone is different but I am trying to get a general idea of how different the 2 pregnancies are for most women. The internet isn't much help so far. If anyone can find any links that have to do with weight gain or loss in the second pregnancy for overweight women please post or email me.

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answers from Washington DC on

Hi K.. My pregnancies have been pretty different so far. I weighed more and gained more with my first. Started around 190 and was 255 full term! Lost a lot with Weight Watchers while my son was 6 months to 2 years. You can't diet while pregnant, so I'm off WW, but plan to get back on once I have this baby. This time, I was about 178 starting out, I'm in my 24th week and I'm right at 200 right now. Hoping to keep it under 215 this time, so having the baby and hopefully nursing will get me below 200 right away. Then WW will help me take care of the rest. I also took him on lots of long walks. Once I got below 200, I started jogging, biking, swimming, etc. Any exercise is good, even dancing and roller skating. Keep it fun.

So that's my experience. I'd say go for it. You could wait, but you may never be the perfect weight. Just try to be careful and don't worry about weight loss until after you have the next baby. Good luck.


answers from Washington DC on

hi K., i was overweight when i got preg the second time but still put on the same amount i did with my first (ie way too much) so was in a pickle after i delivered with a lot of weight to lose! the second pregnancy was more uncomfortable, probably at least partly due to the weight issue, but the delivery was far far easier. you never can tell how it's going to be for you, though. in your situation i don't think i'd wait. you're in good health (good for you for eating so well!) and your first is at a good age for you to go for it. i think losing weight during a pregnancy is actually not a good thing, but i'm betting you can take care not gain much, especially if you continue being a lazy vegan (hee!!) and adding some daily exercise into mix. there's always SOME reason to put off having a baby (and many of them are excellent) but in your case i vote that you get on with it.
:) khairete



answers from Norfolk on

I will turn 40 in February and just had my second child in October. My first is 4 1/2. I am 5' tall and started both pregnancies at 150. I look good around 135. I gained 20 pounds with both boys, my pregnancies were virtually identical, I gained 20 pounds with both. With my first I gained 20 and lost 30 but with this one I dropped 15 pounds initially but I think I've put it back on. I eat too many cookies:). I have several friends who are similar in age to me and kids and both pregnancies were fine. My four year old is a big help and made the transition very well...he is very much a mommas boy so I was concerned.

Don't worry too much about it...go for it!



answers from Washington DC on

For me my first and second pregancies were fairly similar , I had a boy first then a girl , no sickness with either and no complications. With the first I gained 42lb (mainly through chocolate consumption) and the second I gained 28lb , went off of chocolate as it didn't taste right and generally ate less because I didn't want to end up as heavy as I was with the first. I weighed about 10lbs more at the start of my first pregnancy than I did with the second.

I think you can only control to a certain extent what you gain , you have to take into account the weight of the baby , the extra blood/water , the placenta. I think if you really would like another child then go for it , you need to consider your age , plus you said your son is 5 already , do you want much more of an age gap?

For me my third pregnancy was the one that was different (another girl) , nausea/sickness every day until 16 weeks , became lactose intolerant and had a ruptued appendix at 34 weeks where baby had to be delivered by c-section after having 2 full term babies being delivered vaginally.

Who knows what your pregnancy will be like , try & think long term with the end result being another child & a sibling for your son , if that is what you want then do it.

Hope this helps




answers from Washington DC on

Hi K.,
I was 26 with my first and 32 with my 2nd. Second pregnancies are always harder just becuase you now have a child around that needs you wherein the first time you could rest whenever you wanted.

My son was 5 when the 2nd was born. What was good about that was that he started full day K just before the baby was born, so while I was on maternity leave I only had one child at home for most of the day :-)

As for weight gain, I was heavier when I got preg with the 2nd then the first, and ended up weighing about the same as the first at the end of it. I wouldn't worry about losing weight before becoming pregnant. If your body will need that weight anyway for the pregnancy.



answers from Washington DC on

I have three kids and each pregnancy was different. As for weight gain, during my 1st and 3rd pregnancies, I gained only 18-24 lbs. I was very careful about what I ate. With number 2, I ate everything and I had the weight gain to show for it! If you want to have another child, then I wouldn't worry about your weight. You can watch what you eat (fruit v. brownies), walk, swim, etc. You can have a healthy child while being overweight. Also, I had two C-sections and one vaginal birth. My second C-section was my choice. Good luck!



answers from Norfolk on

I was overweight with both my pregnancies. My first I was 30 (turned 31 a month before birth, was 70lbs overweight. I gained 35lbs and my son weighed 6lbs 6 oz. My second I was 34yo, 60lbs overweight. I gained 18lbs and he weighed 8lbs 13oz. I also ate healthier, was more active because of my toddler. Talk to your ob/gyn make an informed decision and the best decision for you. Everyone is different, talking to an MD that knows your history and concerns can help you come to the best decision for you and your family. Good luck.



answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't worry about the weight. From what I've read, doctors suggest that you just try to control how much weight you gain during your pregnancy if you are overweight to begin with. I'm not sure that is possible, but I would say go for it. You can always become more serious about losing weight after the baby, although it is hard to lose weight with little ones around. I lost most of the weight I gained with my daughter by taking her for long walks in the stroller.



answers from Lynchburg on

Just to answer your questions: In my second pregnancy I gained about 20 lbs compared to the 40 I gained during my first. I was already overweight before I started my second pregnancy. My second pregnancy was harder, but I believe that was just because of my undiagnosed hypothyroidism. Two of my SILs had easier second pregnancies than first pregnancies. Not sure about the complications-my son came too quickly and had to go into the NICU for a little while to help with the extra fluid in his lungs and came home a day later than he would have. Didn't have time for an epidural (which I wanted) or anything. My daughter made me sick the last week of my pregnancy and I had to go get fluids. I'm sure it was while I was getting fluids that she got a knot in her cord, and we found that she had passed a stool before she was born. With all that, her APGAR scores were great and she didn't need any time in NICU. Because of the problems, we wanted to wait until one child was in school before trying again, which means I am going to be focusing on my health until this summer to get more in shape, and just healthier in general. My MIL didn't have my husband until she was 39, and she didn't have any problems with him, except a c-section delivery. If you're really up in the air about it, you may want to focus on your health for even 2-3 months, and then try. So it's not a long wait, but there's still a lot that can be accomplished in that amount of time. Good luck with whatever you choose!



answers from Miami on

Hi K.! I am currently pregnant with #3 and I am 36, about 30 lbs overweight, but also in good health. No complications in the first two pregnancies and delivered both vaginally. In my first pregnancy (girl, will be 5 in March) I gained 80 lbs!! She was 8 lbs 7oz at birth. I lost it all within 6 months.

With #2 (girl, 18 months next week) I gained about 60 lbs. She was 6 lbs 12 oz at birth. I lost most of it but found it harder to take it off, probably because I haven't tried very hard. I gained less weight the 2nd time mostly due to cravings being different. With #1 I craved everything and because it was #1, I gave in to the cravings often!! With #2 the cravings were different and I had adversions to some things that I didn't with #1.

I am hoping that #3 will be even less of a weight gain!! Although my cravings thus far have not been any less than with #1!!

All and all, if having another child is something that you want to do, then go for it! Children are a joy and a blessing so good luck with everything!

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