How Did You Tell Your Older Child (9Yr Old) You Were Having Another Baby?

Updated on December 30, 2009
L.M. asks from Phoenix, AZ
5 answers

Just a little advice... I have a 9.5 year old... and well low and behold I got a little extra christmas present this year...=) I am apparently 2.5 months and had not a clue! Flo seemed to come as scheduled last month, and well... until this month... thought i was good to go. My situation is rather strange...I was in a relationship for a while, broke it off about 2.5 months ago, he came back and robbed me... Yes pd caught him etc... however I am apparently having his child, so I will FOR a single pregnant mom...

How on earth would you explain to your child you are having a baby....and who the dad is? I am not crazy, I am happy and shocked at the same time! I love children, and was not expecting this little bump!

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answers from Phoenix on

If it were me, I'd tell your 9 year-old the truth. You are pregnant. There will be a baby. The daddy won't be around. You know your child better than anyone else. When the questions come, just answer with as much information as you think that child can handle, but be truthful. It will be a big change and not an easy one with that big of an age gap, but it will also be a great opportunity to show responsibility and compassion. Good luck to you both.



answers from Phoenix on

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my second and my first is 8yrs old, so I'll have a similar age gap between my two. My situation isn't quite the same as yours, but my husband is not the biological father of my first and I can at least relate to breaking the news to an older child. So what I did was have a custom t-shirt made for my son announcing that "I'm going to be a big brother!!" He was very excited to get the gift and to be able to wear it to school to show off to his friends.

If you decide to have a custom t-shirt made, I highly recommend Brand X T-shirts on Mill Ave in Tempe. You get to design EVERYTHING and the t-shirt is ready in an hour or so and looks so professional!

As far as explaining to your 9 year old who the dad is, I don't know that you really need to approach this topic unless your son asks directly. Focus on the fact that your family (from your child's perspective) will be growing from the two of you to three people; and talk about how this will be an exciting new adventure that you will be embarking on TOGETHER. If your 9 year old asks questions, answer them honestly and directly, but you don't need to burden your child with more information than they may be prepared for.

Best of luck to you!!


answers from Phoenix on

My only advice is to wait until you start to show so you know you are past the 3 mo period. Not an easy situation. Good luck.



answers from Albuquerque on

with all of the "Next" kids that came along, we were just straight forward with the kids, no matter what their age ( i only have 8).
Only number 5 pitched a fit about it for number 6 but now (at 17 and 15) they are best buddies. and the 23 year olds adore the 11 year old.
Short answer....BE HONEST! Kids respect nothing more than honesty from parents. if parents can't be can we expect them to be open with us with issues they face??
I'm sorry you went through the junk in the situation, but this is obviously a blessing. Treat it as such.



answers from Phoenix on

I agree with what everyone said. This is a tough situation but a blessing just the same. Congratulations and good luck to you!

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