How Clean/tidy Do You Expect Your Children's Rooms to Be?

Some people don't make their kids clean their rooms at all. My boys are reall good about keeping their room picked up, not spotless, but clean enough that I can run a vacuum. My daughter, I'm lucky if I don't break my leg everytime I go in there. I get on her about it a lot though, so we are working on it. I don't think you are out of line. My theory is that if we don't teach them to be responsible when they are young, it will just get harder when they are older. I do not do everything for my kids at all. They definitely help a lot :)

My son's allowed to leave up to 2 toys/ projects out and about (so that he can work on them over several days.

Aside from that he makes his bed every morning and picks up his room every morning (we homeschool, he has the time). He washes his sheets once a week, and his clothes twice a week -and puts them away. He vacuums once a week, or as needed (glitter explosions get dealt with as they come;). Until his chores are done he's not allowed electronics time in the morning... so he does them first thing. ((The rest of his chores include making and eating breakfast, showering, teeth, dressing, taking out the recycling, and washing his breakfast dishes.)). I help him do a deep clean of his room about once a month. Crank up the music and dancing and pizza and spotless making time it is.

He gets all of his daily morning chores (he has a few other afternoon things; like helping with projects or dinner) done in the morning in about 15-20 minutes. After his chores are done he can play until 10am.

Now, don't get me wrong... things do occasionally go to hail in a handbasket and things won't get done or they get skipped, imho that's just life... but pick a random day/week/month and that's the norm.

He's 8. ADHD-c (aka cleaning impaired, high energy particle). And this has been the standard for about 2 years.

My daughter is 14, so it's a constant battle to get her to keep her room clean, but there are a few things I won't back down on. She has a basket for laundry and dirty clothes belong in it and not on the floor. She is also responsible for washing her own laundry, including her bedding. I also insist that I can see her floor, at least the parts of it the furniture isn't on. She has a trash can and trash belongs in it. The things I'm lax on are her folding her clothes, if she wants to go to school all wrinkled that's her problem not mine, her book shelves and what she keeps on them and how she organizes those things are up to her, and I don't care if she makes her bed. I know I'm in the minority with that one, but I need to give her some control over the room and the bed bothers me the least. I do have her do a ceiling to floor de-cluter/organization about once a month, otherwise the pack rat in her will take over, not to mention dust mites.

i'm am nowhere near a clean freak. at the moment, my room and my son's room are both a mess - because company doesn't see that room. the livingroom, bathroom, and kitchen are all clean, and my whole family helps keeping it that way. i don't feel it's a big deal. we've had a super busy weekend so we just haven't gotten to the bedrooms. it depends a lot on "who" you are. are you a sahm? working ft? do you have one kid, or four? are you one of those families that constantly has an "activity" going on, or more laid back? were you raised to feel that a mother "should" keep a spotless home? or are you from a more relaxed background? no one can really tell you what is "right" because each family is truly different. who knows what kind of answers you will get on here - maybe in "your" favor, maybe in hubby's. but none of it is really going to help you because we're not you. you and hubs need to come up with a compromise, one that works for you, and stick to it. don't try to compare yourself to the jones' when it comes to something like clean kids' rooms....in the big picture that's just your preference. there's no "wrong" or "right" way.

I think how tidy they will be will depend on their personalities. They will get messy during puberty no matter what their personalities. Tidy in college.....it's almost impossible in a tiny dorm room, but you can go for it.

You sound reasonable and I say give it your best shot. Besides, you are allowed to want it clean for yourself. Asking a kid to clean up their dressers and shelves once a month? Sounds great!

I have the same rules as you. Beds are made every day, toys picked up and put away at the end of the day. Clothes hung up. My oldest is 15 and is very good at this now. I know her furture roommates will never complain that she is a slob.

Lisa

My kids are little 4 and 1 1/2 and so we expect them to put their toys away in their bins, make the beds and make sure there aren't any toys on the ground for mommy/daddy to step on in the middle of the night :) It doesn't have to be perfect, but it needs to have some order so I have a general idea of where things are. I think your rules are completely reasonable! Doesn't sound too picky to me....tell your hubby to lay off and let you do what works for you!

M

My 3 year old cleans up his toys when asked b/c since he could understand us we have had him do it, I think it is important for children to clean up, I always had to clean up when growing up too! I help him but he picks up all the toys & puts them in his toy box & he likes to help wipe down the dresser & try to fold the blankets on the bed, it's by no means perfect but he knows it's part of playing & if we play with it we have to put it away & thats important! Children need to learn to be productive & help like cleaning their rooms!

I expect them to clean it up when I ask them to do so.
If they want a friend over they must pick it up..
They vacuum once a month.
Bed sheets are changed every two weeks .

They also have chores. Our living spaces are clean and tidy, dusted/vacuumed/ cleaned up. The bathrooms are done every week.

My kids know how to clean, whether they do it or not in their own rooms it doesn't matter to me. If I have to, I shut the door.

One thing that helps is to do laundry at a set time, I do ours on Saturday. When they don't clean up and get me their clothes I don't do them, then they have to do their own laundry .

I do go in and purge every once in a while.

I'm right along with you. Doesn't have to be perfect, but you have to be able to function :)

My husband is the same way. He thinks since it is their room, let them live in a mess. Not me! I think they need responsibilty. I think your rules sound totally fair!

How clean do I expect them to be? How clean do I want them to be? Or how clean are they?? All three questions get different answers, unfortunately.
Three teenagers and each room is different. Oldest boy (19) used to have a horrible, unable to walk in mess-but with age comes a bit of maturity and now it is clean if not dusted. The middle girl (15) is lazy, always has been, lives with all of her clothes in baskets on the floor of her custom designed closet. BUT-of her own choice she has given away anything that she doesn't use so her room has very little in it-a floor mirror, a bed, a tv. Period. So it never looks too messy unless you go into her closet. The baby girl (13) has just started keeping her room neat and is starting to be more like her sister in that she is getting rid of stuff she doesn't use.
In my own happy fantasy world they would all make their beds every day. Everything would be clean and towels would NEVER be on the floor.
Until fantasy and reality collide-I just ignore a lot of it, insist all is picked up before the housekeeper comes every other week, and occasionally swoop in and reorganize myself. Once they don't want you going through their things they become very good at picking up!
Good luck!

I expect my kids to put away everything they aren't using right then. I've always had those expectations though, so they've grown up with those rules and it's not a battle at all. They both keep their rooms clean without a struggle. My oldest is naturally a neat freak, like my husband and I. My youngest is naturally messier and more creative. He still keeps his room neat out of habit. His desk is a disaster though.

This one is hard for me because my 13 year old shares room with her 2.5 year old. Sometimes my daughter would clean and the little one would take her stuff and leave them on the floor.
My older also have some after school activities and some days they give them so much homework that I would be happy if the floor is clean of toys and clothes and is not mess in the beds, others if she doesn't have much homework or after school clubs I expect the furniture surface to be neat.
Every Sunday she do heavy duty cleaning incluiding vacuum, dusting and closet and "hiding" spot cleaning.
I am working on the idea that she cleans her room every day so it never gets too dirty, but some days she:
a) have lots of work to do
b) she cleans and her sister make a mess right away
I try to judge depending what is going on every day.
I just ask for 2 things everyday "NO FOOD IN THE ROOM" and "No droping clean clothes in the floor".

Sounds like you are doing a great job!

I fight a different battle. My husband INSISTS that they clean their rooms on a regular basis... and then he goes and "okays" what they have done. But what he "okays" are tidy floors and made beds... without regard to how they got that way (dirty clothes stuffed out of sight UNDER the bed, piles of paper/toys/junk shoved in the corner hidden behind the desk, etc.

I could walk in there and find 30 things in under 3 minutes that are WRONG WRONG WRONG and unacceptable... but at the same time, they are kids and I can't expect perfection. But the idea that HIDING mess is ok just grates me totally the wrong way. The idea that they WILL go in there and do SOMETHING so that it least appears tidy isn't enough for me. It is for my husband. ARGH!!

If my kids actually had toys etc. in their rooms, I'd expect them picked up every night before bed and not just jumbled into one huge box but all "sets" etc. in their proper individual containers. However, at this time due to stuff I'm not going into here, they had all of their toys/books removed from their rooms. Favorite items (like train set, barbies, matchbox cars, doll house, etc.) got moved into the living area. Each child has a few stuffie's that are allowed to live on their bed but everything else was donated to a rummage sale at their school. For the items that were kept, they're allowed to play with them as much as they want (once chores & homework are finished) but all has to be put away neatly. If they aren't, the whole set is put for the next day and no one is allowed to touch it.

Sheets are washed once a week (or more often if an accident occurs). Their beds are expected to be made every morning before leaving for school (I don't care when in their morning routine as long as it's done and they don't have to be perfect as long as it's obvious an effort was made). I don't really care about it on the weekends since those are the days we're washing their sheets and they can't be expected to make a bed w/out sheets. :)

The dressers in their rooms are decluttered every every few days (school work, books, small treasures etc.) and items are put away properly. (I would like to do it more often but there are more important things; they're def taken care of weekly.) They vacuum their rooms once a week. Because there just isn't anything in there, it's super easy to take care of. They're allowed to read in their rooms or play a quiet game before bed (or other rest periods) but that stuff also lives in the front area and are put away when not in use.

I actually try to have the kids pick up their rooms every night - that means everything that is out of place is put away. I say try because its the ideal. In reality it doesn't happen every day. I don't think that what you have described is too picky.

My kids are 3.5 and 1.5 so right now I make sure they clean up their toys when they are done playing and put it away in the right place. This includes stuff in their room, the bathtub and *sometimes* the hardly seen playroom. I do not and will not expect them to make their beds and I do not do that on a daily basis (I leave for work before hubby is out of bed and vice versa with hubby and I on the weekends). If I am going through the house dropping off laundry and whatnot, I will make my bed and my daughters. I'm not sure if my thoughts on this will ever change - I just do not see beds being made as a big issue. If we are having people over, then I would ask them to make it (as I would make mine).

My kids do not have many toys in their room because they share it and it's small. But I do not even like clothing to be on the floor. Their shoes have a home on a shelf and often times my daughter will just throw her shoes in there and I will remind her to put them on the shelf. My son puts his shoes into his room and at 18 months I'm just happy he does that!

I grew up in a household where we cleaned as a family every weekend. I like this idea because it's a set time to clean but also it's something we do as a family. Problem is my hubby is working on weekends so he will get out of most of it. I'll be sure to leave his stuff alone so he can do it when he gets home. LOL...As they get older they will be resonsible for throwing their dirty clothes including bedding down the hamper, straightening up/cleaning up toys, decluttering as asked to and helping out around the house (kitchen, laundry, etc).