How Can I Stop My Daughter from Playing Games W/ Her Sippy Cup?

Updated on March 14, 2008
A.P. asks from Sound Beach, NY
35 answers

I'm not sure if that should technically be the title, but here is what's happening. I have 17 month old who lately has taken to spitting the contents of her sippy cup all down her front and everywhere else. When I catch her doing it and say NO! - she throws the cup. I've tried several different sippy cups, I've tried cups w/ straws...I've tried only putting a little bit in it...but she still manages to get some somewhere. I don't know if it's a game, or what's going on here - but it's driving me absolutely batty that she does this. One day it was really bad, I came around the corner into the playroom and caught her looking very much like one of those fountains...or maybe she was pretending to be a sprinkler?? Someone please tell me that their child did this so I'm not alone and what you did to stop it...lol?

What can I do next?

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V.G.

answers from New York on

STOP using the cup. Wait until she is thirsty and give her a different cup. Try one with a straw built in and let her blow bubbles. Reward her for each time she drinks successfully from the cup. She is young. Why not just let her explore the things she can do with this cup and let her at it.
Personally, I would be howling inside. You'll get past this. She will train you yet!

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A.K.

answers from New York on

I'm going through that right now! Glad to hear it's normal. I just tell my daughter "I guess you are done drinking" and calmy take the cup away. More often than not I'll give her a towel and ask her to clean herself up...While I'm still waiting for her to stop, it's good to know it's just yet another phase.....

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C.B.

answers from New York on

My DD started doing this. I have just said no, cleaned her up and taken away the cup. "Drinks are for drinking, it's not a toy."

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,
I think this is all normal, my daughter just started doing the same thing and it brought back memories of both my boys. I just put a bib on her and say no! then I take the cup away. she is just trying something different she learned and eventually will stop. You will just go crazy for a little while and this will be one of the many things that make you nuts! Good luck and be patient.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

It's not the cup; it's the child. No matter wht you gove her to drink from, she'll still make a mess. Your daughter had found a game she likes. Children like to discover things they can do with their bodies,and spraying stuff out of the mouth is apparently great fun for her. That doesn't mean she should be allowed to do it, of course!

Do not leave her unsupervised with the cup for even a minute. While she is drinking properly, smile at her and praise her. The second the starts spitting, take the cup from her as calmly as you can. Tell her that you can see she is finished, and that she can have more later if se gets thirsty. Do not give it back until the next time you are ready to seve another drink, then repeat the process if she spits again. You will have to repeat it afew times, but she will eventually get the idea. Don't worry that she will not get enough to drink -- when she is relly thirsty, she will swallow whatever she is drinking instead of spitting it.

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G.L.

answers from New York on

Hey A.

You have a very creative daughter! lol However, a 17 month old knows the meaning of no. Everytime she does it and you catch her, take the cup away. Tell her she cannot have it back until she does NOT spit. You will probably have to do this about 800 times! :) But repetition and reinforcement is the only thing here. Scolding will not do anything because she is being expressive and you don't want to squlch her creativeness. But in the meantime get some very large bibs! lol Best of luck,
G. L.

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S.R.

answers from Syracuse on

My personal preference was to never use a sippy cup unless away from home when a mess would be more of an issue. When carefully introduced to a 6 month old you would be amazed at how well they can handle it on there own at a year. Needless to say my 8 children did not carry around cups of beverage all around the house with them. If they wanted a drink just go to the highchair or kitchen chair have a drink and then done. I babysat for many children over the past years and a number of them were sippy cup lovers. My rule was that there cups stayed in the kitchen. To drink from them they had to come to the kitchen table, no problem. She probably does this for two reasons. First it is fun, secondly it gets a rise out of you. Depending on her maturity level. She may be testing her limits with you. You have heard of terrible twos? The most difficult thing about them and on into the threes is the power struggle they have with you. When she can do something that you dislike and are frustrated with but seem to have no control over she is the controller of the situation. Not of course that she has thought this all out but she is enjoying herself. It will be a bit more effort on your part if you choose to go this route but if she does not have the control of the cup (you give it to her when she wants a drink and take it back as soon as the drink is done at the table) she has no opportunity to be naughty or is cought at the first sign of mischief and delt with by removing the cup. Personally I would tell her she is a big girl now so she is going to be drinking out of a big girl cup just like mommy and daddy and anyone else important to her. If she always sits in her chair and use a regular cup I would be sure to stand right there and keep arms length close in case she decides to dump it I could grab it quick. If she messes with it she really is not thirsty so she would be without the opportunity to repeat it for a while. I would never give it right back to her unless I thought it was an accidental spill.I would praise her on her good job of drinking out of her big girl without a spill. I hope it helps. I have never seen a 20 year old with a sippy cup problem so enjoy her every moment because they do grow up so quickly.
ps Sippy cups and bottles of milk or juice that are sipped at very frequent intervals coat the teeth with every sip and are a real problem at the dentist office. Also a bottle or sippy at night when juice or milk can be left in the toddlers mouth. Obviously it is not the kind of cup but the frequency that is the problem.

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E.P.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 2 and still likes to spit her jiuce out or spill it onto her tray and splatter it everywhere. When she was younger I just had to ignore her when she would spit it down the front of herself. It's hard to get them that young to really understand that they are making a mess. They really like to make the mess. :)I would just give her smaller amounts in her cup and when she finishes it and really hasn't had a drink because her drink is all in her lap just let her know (wiithout emotion) that she spilled it all and she can try to drink her next juice later. You may just have to take the cup away when she starts doing it and ignore the behavior.

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B.L.

answers from New York on

Trust me...you are not alone!!! My daughter takes a "milk bath" with her sippy cup sometimes. She is now 20 months old and she does exactly what your daughter does. She will take a sip, and let it just "leak" out of her mouth. I immediately take the sippy cup from her, tell her that it's not polite to do that, and she sometimes even has to go in her pack 'n play for a time out! She doesn't like that at all, but I want her to learn that it's not right. She knows it's wrong...I guess they are just defiant little ones at that age!!!

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R.L.

answers from New York on

well, she may be doing it to get your attention. Often kids don't care if it's good attention or now. For us, the key is not to react emotionally at all. For example, I have never played the drop things and pick it back up like many parents have and like ALL the grandparents said I would. We read somewhere that kids start off by doing that simply to see what will happen. It's like a little science experiment. They learn cause and effect, they learn that different things make different noises and they learn that the same thing will make the same noise. Anyhow, that took the irritation out of it for one. When she dropped something on the floor. I said, Oh look you dropped your fork. It fell on the floor. Then as she got a little older and knew better, and was looking for a reaction from ME, I'd said, Oh I guess you're all done with your fork now. and I'd leave it there or pick it up and put it in the sink. bye bye fork. and then go on as usual. I can honestly say, we almost NEVER go through the drop and pick up thing. I just wont engage in it. so, applying that to your situation. I'd a) not react. Do not show her it bothers you. Don't even really make eye contact. Just take the sippy cup and say, oh I guess you're all done drinking. You must not be thirsty anymore. If she throws a fit, you can either ignore it and let her get over it, or you can say, oh do you want to try to drink out of it again? Make sure you give her more chances to drink from it properly and then PRAISE her for being such a big girl. But, also know how many chance you're going to give her at one time. It can't go on endlessly. I'm a big 3x and then we'll try again at another meal. Also, don't clean her up. Let her feel how uncomfortable it is being all wet. But, don't make a big deal of it. If she sees there is no reason to do it, she wont do it.
Is it possible she enjoys the sensation? Can you give her opportunities to do that in an appropriate setting. Like the bathtub. Or put her up in front of the sink and show her, "this is where we play this game." ?

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J.B.

answers from New York on

At least one of my kids did this consistently and each of them at one time or another (I've got four!). Don't react, just take the cup away and tell her that she must be done drinking if she's playing... She'll get the picture!

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K.S.

answers from New York on

Hi A., You can actually be so proud! What you are going through is actually developmentally on target for your little one!! The problem you described sounds to me like a classic "I'm learning what I can control" exercise. She has found 2 new powers 1) I can do what I want when I want with the things going in my mouth and 2) I can drive my mom crazy. And, reality is, #1 is true. She does have control over what she does with the things (be they liquid or solid) that go in her mouth. Now it is time to begin teaching her about good decision making with regard to the things she can control. Now, I'm not talking about sitting her down and having a lecture on good decisions. But, telling her (calmly) when spitting is or is not appropriate, is a part of the job. When she spits appropriately (maybe in the bath tub) you can delight in her new found fun with her. When she spits inappropriately (probably anywhere but the bathtub, though up to you) there are consequences. You may have to take the sippy cup away and restrict it to use at the dinner table only. She should also help you clean up the mess and help you with the extra laundry. Granted, at first, she will not be much help; but the act of working with you to clean it up still reinforces the message -- spitting is for bath time play only (or something along those lines.) As for power #2, driving you bananas, it is only true as much as you let it be. You're still in the driver's seat with this one and you give up control to her only when you let yourself. I laugh as i write that because as much as I know it to be true, it doesn't make it any easier. My daughter is nearly 3 and she is finding things more and more within her control and testing all kinds of boundaries. I time and again have to remind myself that with that particular task, it is now my job to help her exert her control in positive directions. Best of luck.

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T.L.

answers from New York on

While I regretfully do not have a solution, you may be comforted to know that you're not alone! My son, who turned two last month, gave a lot of trouble with sippy cups! I bought and tried EVERY SINGLE TYPE of sippy cup on the market. His pediatrician wanted him off the bottle, but that was the only way to get any fluids into him - he absolutely refused to use a cup. Just when it got to the point when I thought I might lose my mind -lol- he decided on his own to just pick up and use a cup as if he'd been doing it all along. He was probably around 20 months or so. And even now, there are only certain cups he likes! Good luck.

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D.J.

answers from New York on

I am reading this and laughing, but not because it is funny, because it is totally my daughter Haley. She usually does this with the straw sippy cups and I can't figure out why. She doesn't do it all the time though and usually not with the normal sippy cup. I wish I had some advice but I just wanted to let you know you are no alone.

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M.P.

answers from New York on

I'm pretty sure this is a phase. My son used to do this as well and if I made a big deal he did it more. I would recommend taking the cup away as soon as she does it each time. Eventually she will stop.

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K.Y.

answers from Albany on

Dear A., You are not alone in this. What worked for me was to ignore it for a while. I think your daughter is getting attention from this even if it is negative attention (anger and "no!"), so she will continue. Pretend you don't notice it and walk away or even try some distraction (read a story or sing a song with her), so that the sprinkler thing is almost forgotten. I can't guarantee this but it worked for me. In about a week or so, there was a new 'game'. :-)
K. Y

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J.F.

answers from New York on

I can relate because my daughter did the same exact thing when she was about ten months old and she also did it with food also. At first we told her to stop but it just didn't work. Then I read an article that explained kids are learning and exploring and it's important to allow them to play with their food. It's part of their learning process. So I figured the same holds true for the water in her sippy cup. It drove me crazy too, but it helped me when I see things through my child's eyes. Everything is a new experience and it was funny to watch. We would call our daughter the whale when she sprayed her water. Then we began ignoring it and eventaully she stopped after a few weeks.

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J.O.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,

My boys (22 months) do the same thing. It drives me crazy also but I think we're supposed to accept they are "exploring." At 17 months your daughter is definately at that stage where she is discovering new things all the time. The boys just started the dribbling thing a month ago (although they don't do it all the time) and I really think they just like to see what happens with the liquid. Instead of reprimanding for it, we try to ignore it and honestly it hasn't stopped so again, sh'e probably in that "discovery" stage and you may have to ride it out. I know that response probably doesn't help with the solution but you're not alone and I'm sure that many others have experienced this too.

J.

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Q.F.

answers from New York on

lol...my daughter does it too, and EVERY time i feel like screaming at her, but all i can do is just tell her NO we DON'T do that!!! she started a couple months after i started giving her the sippy cups. it has NOTHING to do with what kind of sippy cup you use, it all has to do with the kid! when my daughter started it it happened to be hot out, so i just assumed that she was hot, and trying to cool herself off with 'drooling' the water down her shirt. i've had it so bad that the whole front of her shirt and pants were soaked. of course, it was my fault for not completely paying attention to her, just glancing back to see her nicely playing and drinking her cup, not realizing that MOST of that cup was ending up down her shirt. now, almost 1 yr later she rarely does it, but she did do it yesterday. all you can do is keep a closer eye on her when she's drinking from her cup and catch it the moment she's doing it and tell her to stop. i myself hope that it's going to stop very soon, being that it's been a yr already, but who knows. they have a mind of their own, and she seems to enjoy doing it because she laughs every time i catch her. good luck, i hope you find a way of getting her to stop sooner than i do. :o)

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R.T.

answers from New York on

I had to laugh to laugh when I read this because I also have a 17 month old and she is doing the EXACT same thing!! I tell her no, and then put a bib on her(which she does not like) and usually after that she'll stop. I just chalk it up to something that kids do and will soon outgrow it. Good luck!

R.

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L.K.

answers from New York on

My son, 19 months, has recently started doing that, too. When we eat dinner, he'll take a drink and then just let it dribble out of his mouth. Water gurgles all down his front. I tell him he'll be wet and cold, but he seems not to mind. He also likes to drag the sippy cup spout along the table or floor and get water everywhere. We call it "painting." We are also having trouble getting him to not do this, other than taking his cup away. Luckily, he only drinks water from his cup. So, no solution, just solidarity!

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K.E.

answers from New York on

Yep, my daughter did this too (and still does occasionally-she's two!). When I catch her doing it, I tell her no, that cups are for drinking juice/milk, not spitting, and take it away. It doesn't make a difference what kind of sippy cup it is, as she has done this even with a regular plastic cup (no sippy top or straw).

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M.H.

answers from New York on

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-prtoolbox

Hi A.....Comes check out the Parenting tool box baord for great information on chidren...we all have such wonderful ideas and stories... Copy and paste the address above..
Hope to see you !

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R.W.

answers from Albany on

Honestly, I'm happy to hear that my daughter is not the only one. And it does seem like a game. Even the sippy cups that are supposedly non-spill she will turn upside down and shake until there is enough water to swish around with her hands. I know it's a little different than what you're talking about. Everyone says to give her a regular cup and get her used to drinking that way, but she just spits it all over the place and then pours it everywhere. At this point I just take it away and tell her that it's for drinking, not playing, but you know how it is reasoning with a 17 month old. She just thinks it's funny, no matter how stern I think I am. I'll actually be watching the responses from more experienced mothers and thank you for bringing this up. R.

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D.Z.

answers from Binghamton on

A.,

This is perfectly normal. My 3 year old still plays with her water...makes me crazy! I figure she'll probably be a scientist some day. My 15 month old plays as well, and although it may seem inconvenient, I handle this by only offering her a cup without a lid on it and I don't give it to her. I let her drink her sip and then I take it away. No drinks to carry around the house. No drinks to throw across the room. She has her drink with her meal, with my assistance, and then throughout the day I give her sips from her cup to keep her hydrated. I know we should be encouraging independence, but we do have to keep some sort of control over their behavior, don't we? I'm one of those moms who goes crazy with the messes they intentionally make. Accidents, fine, but mischevious behavior sends me over the top. So anything I can do to prevent it really keeps my sanity in check.

Can't wait for summer to hit so that I can let them play in the water outside.

D.

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B.R.

answers from New York on

When I had my first, she would rub chocolate pudding on my hands, her hair, etc. I didn't make a fuss, didn't scold, just accepted, she stopped on her own. The 2nd one used to like to throw her food everywhere, she thought it was funny, I still kept my cool and just accepted this as a part of a learning process she was going through. Maybe you can give her a regular cup, see if it makes a difference. She may feel more grown up. The worst thing you can do is make it known you are angry about it, children go through so many learning processes, it's hard to keep up. You can always tell her that though she likes doing this, you would feel better if she didn't, or ask her to help clean it up, maybe tell her if she stops, you can go for a walk or the mall, or something that makes her happy. My girls are now 25 and 21, the older has a graduate degree, younger is almost done with college and looking for a grad school. Keep your cool and things will work out even though it's a trial for now.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

i have a se of twins about 18 months old and they both do this! it is very annoying esp just after a bath with a fresh set of clothes on. i usually just take the cup away and say no!

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

A., I have gone through that with my oldest and am going through it with my second and I probably go through it with my third when he starts drinking the sippy. I have gotton tired of saying no and it's a waste of time getting upset...I say, "no you don't spill it over. It's for you to drink it." If you said no and she knows it because it's a constant thing, as my boys have known, I say, No that is not what you're supposed to do and gently take it away from her. I don't know what her personality is like, but my boys got upset and threw either tantrums which I tell them why I took the sippy and change their attitude or they will go in their rooms. Don't give in and that way she knows you have a boundary there and she can't push it back. They like the say it drips out and they like the feel of the liquids. It's all new and fascinating to them. push your foot down now because there will be new things she will discover and may not make you too happy.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

limit when she can have her sippy cup....there is no reason for her to walk around the house with a sippy cup all the time...looking down the road you will have a much easier time potty training when you limit liquids....I'm not saying to not let her drink, but all 5 of my kids only drink at the table or in their highchair(my 18month old)...if they need a sip, I hand them a cup, they drink and hand it back....it'll be an adjustment at first but once I switched to this method....no more finding sippy cups in strange places, never knowing is that todays juice? and potty training went much quicker...besides you can take it away when she starts spitting and if she really wants a drink she'll stop, she's not thirsty if she's spitting it out...good luck

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A.S.

answers from New York on

No you are not crazy, my kids did this but i suggest you look at it from her perspective. It is fun, it is a cool sensation, it gets a great reaction out of Mom too. Instead of scolding her about it take the mystique out of it and let her do it. Put some parameters on it but give her a chance to explore whatever it is she likes about it. A casual reaction will probably make the phase go quicker.Give her water instead. Stand her in the tub put a bib or on her and say this is where you can play this game.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

A.,
Its time to make her eat and drink ONLY at the table,
or
DRINK infront of you then take away the cup.

Otherwise prepare to continue to clean the messes

M

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E.M.

answers from New York on

First, I suggest you do not give her a cup unless she's at the table and wearing a bib. Second, each time she does the spitting at the table, take the cup away and say, "Not nice!" Be consistant and keep it up. Hold your ground even when she cries. If the doctor says she's not dehydrated, then keep up the discipline -- which is training, not punishment. Do not let her have her cup when she's not at the table. All kids experiment with new feelings an sensations. But we're talking here of proper behavior, which calls for training! Be consistant and she will soon learn that spitting is not a nice thing to do and if she does it, she won't get anything to drink.
And always pray for patience! God bless.

~EL

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M.M.

answers from New York on

I have exactly the same problem ..so very curious to hear from all of you.

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T.M.

answers from Utica on

kids who dont use sippy cups will experiment with the waterfountain experiment. they are normal children. mine did it to. both my kids, my sister's kids, my grandkids. we encouraged them to do it in the tub when they take thier bath, we would leave the cold water dripping, they would fill the cup and play. they all love the water and the bath. if we laugh at them we encourage the behavior, but at the same time we encourage them to be real and be themselves instead of trying to be perfect minature people.

i wrote this to another person about sippy cups and straws. i will risk repeating it for the sake of children. This is not so much finding things as finding out things. My sister has a friend who is a speach therapist. she said that sippy cups were not good for children as the palate in their mouth is soft and able to conform very easily when they are small. sucking on the sippy cups is very hard. Try it adults, you will see. the cups that won't allow the liquid to spill when it tips over are the ones that we are talking about. the child sucks so hard that they actually slowly distort the palate and this causes speach imparements. The straws with the crooks in them, the flixible ones that go with cups are not good either. they will allow bacteria to build up in them and that will make the child sick. Yes, even though the look clean, they are not. I used to use one to drink my water from my water cup and i would even bleach it once a week. One day I drank grape juice through this straw and you should have seen the bacteria that took on the color of the juice. Not a pretty sight. Food for thought. the speach therapist said drink straight from a cup when they can, no straws or sip cups. this allows the mouth to develope and and strengthen properly. food for thought parents. T.

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M.A.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,
While I realize that she is making a mess and is driving you crazy what she is doing is exploring her new abilities and getting a kick out of seeing the liquid go where she spits it. How about setting up an area with a large table cloth or a blanket on top of a tarp, so the water won't seep through and let her have a good time with it. Perhaps if you let her play, and even play with her you can make the distinction between it being O.K. to do water play and fountains out of her mouth when you are on the mat and drinking properly when you give her a cup for regular drinking. All you are doing by telling her no is setting yourself up for a battle and she is smart enough to know that because she is throwing the cup. Try letting her explore her abilities but frame it in a way that she knows it is play time with water. I have a child with special needs and I have always found that just saying no gets me nowhere. When I give him an opportunity to do the thing he wants to do in a place and at a time when I can control the environment he is much happier and I don't feel like the only words out of my mouth are no and stop that. Just be patient...you need to communicate to her, through words and actions, that water play is O.K. just not all the time. Good luck.
M. A.

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