How Can I Help My 7 Yo Focus on Schoolwork?

Updated on January 26, 2008
A.T. asks from Campbell, CA
58 answers

Hi! My son is a smart and clever boy but he just can't focus on schoolwork. His teacher has said that his class assignments are late and he gets distracted easily. I have taken away some of his favorite toys and privileges, such as desserts. I am running out of patience. I get frustrated and that makes him frustrated as well. Does anybody have any suggestions to help me help my son focus?

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K.W.

answers from Sacramento on

My 7 yo can do the work - he just chooses not too. We've had a lot of success lately with thinly disguised rewards that everyone benefits from. For example, on the Friday of week where he was consistently timely with work, Mom might be in such a good mood that she treats the whole family to ice cream. Technically, it's not a reward, it's just the result of making Mama happy, and you know what they say about keeping mama happy :) Heaping praise each successful day works well also.

We've also had some success monitoring his diet - more protein and less sugar in the morning seems to help him focus in class.

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

you need to get him tested, taking away things does not solve the problem, he may have learning difficulities or possible ADD, get him tested before you give consequences that could be damaging psychologicaly

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E.K.

answers from San Francisco on

In my work, I use concentration exercises to increase achievement, self esteem and performance. If you have tried the usual, quiet room, rewards, reminders, and that doesn't work, consider performance psychology. E. B. Klyce, MFT

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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There is nothing wrong with your son, don't start worrying that he has ADD or anything. He is too young to be asked to focus all day at school and then focus more at home. If his school is giving him homework already it is probably very academic. Is he getting time for practical activities and physical activities at school? Make sure he as time for these at home. Physical activity and coordination (gross motor and fine motor) are more important at his age than intellectual development. Try a different school.

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't punish him. Get his eyes checked by a Vision Therapy doctor. You can look up Vision Therapy on the Internet. A lot of attention-related problems at this age are associated with either a) food allergies, or b) vision-development issues which can be corrected with some gross-motor and eye exercises. If you think it's diet-related, Make a 5-day food diary and try to see if there's a correlation between what he ate and how he's behaving. Doris Rapp's book "Is This Your Child?" is a great resource for attention-related issues associated with food allergies.

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J.W.

answers from Yuba City on

I know this sounds a little new age or whatever but.....Have you considered meditation/Yoga? Teaching him how to focus on just his breathing in and out and clearing his mind of all other things could help him settle down and get ready for homework.

Most things in our childrens lives move at such a fast pace. I'm guessing he is in the 1st or 2nd grade and it moves from task to task quickly. Also, all the shows they watch and games they play change so rapidly.

Slowing and focusing the mind will help both of you relax before you begin the homework process.

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G.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My son needed at least an hour of good physical activity before he could settle down to do his homework. It also helped when we started walking to school for his school work. I am a teacher and little boys need alot of physical activiy to help them sit in class and focus.

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T.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you tried a reward system? I use a Quarter reward for my 6 and 4 year olds. I have added it to my sons school work as well as at home. The idea is that you get a jar and whenever he does something good for someone else or helps out without being asked he gets a quarter for his jar and when the jar is full he gets to choose something that he wants to do that can be done as a family, however at the same time if he does something that he shouldn't than he gets a quarter taken away. In applying this to the schoolwork at my sons school they get good tickets and I give him a quarter for each one and on the other hand if he gets in trouble or his name on the board he losses quarters(it does not always have to be one given or taken sometimes it could be more depending on how you feel) I have also found that when he is doing his homework that I tell him if he can do it before me then he gets a quarter (of course I let him win) he gets the work done and does it right. Try it and put your own spin on it, it might work.

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C.D.

answers from San Francisco on

hi, A., try rewards instead - think about this - if you were underperforming at work, would you want your lunch hour taken away? find out what motivates him... and promote responsibility.

make it his responsibility and come up with a reward system that works in your house. maybe extra dessert or points saved up towards a lego set at the end of the month, or a special trip on a weekend to a place he loves - zoo, park, indoor playground, etc. one lego set a month is going to cost a lot less money than a tutor. and it will be a positive experience which reinforces learning as a good thing.

don't help him do his homework - make sure he understands the concepts, check it, but have him do the corrections and he will build a sense of pride from doing it.

i know you are probably short on time working full time as well as parenting - but make it fun for him - and you... for instance, you can play vocabulary go fish on flash cards each week, same with math. get him some blank cards, have him write the vocab/spelling words on each card, and the definitions on other cards. then play with him at dinner. have him try to come up with the silliest sentances he can with his vocabulary words using the definition in the sentance - context clues - for instance if his vocabulary word is "obey", help him think of a silly sentance by doing one yourself while putting dinner together, and then he has to do one, too. this can be all verbal at first, then when he has the sentance in his head, have him write it down. this can be worth a point towards his reward, or towards one bite of dessert that night - or however you decide to motivate him.

if he is actually really smart, and the work is boring for him, that is another problem. you should not leave this out as a consideration, you know your son better than anyone.

my son will be 7 next week, and these things have worked for us, however we are lucky to be in a school that promotes responsibility and independance so i am reinforcing at home what he already learns at school.

best luck, this is a tough one! isn't parenting "great"?!

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M.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I am on that SAME boat. My 7yo is the same exact way. Talk to his teacher and see if maybe where he sits & who he sits with could be a factor. When he gets home from school, do you have him get to his homework right away? Or does he try to find excuses to "stall"? What I try to do is RIGHT when my kids get home, they do their homework in the living room (there are no toys in this room, time them for 1 1/2 hrs(just as a guideline) if they go a little over, that's okay, because they're actually working. I tell my kids NO TV & NO SNACKS until everything is done. Don't get me wrong, they don't like it, but rules are rules. When the house is quiet, it gives them room to think. This isn't fool proof, but if he accomplishes this task once & sees that the sooner he finishes, the sooner he can play, he might be more apt to finishing his homework that way. His "desire" for school isn't there. That is something I can't figure out how to change. I, too am a working mother, and staying on top of it is a task itself. However...getting them to realize that hard work pays off is even harder. Good Luck

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H.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello,
I am a mother of four, now grown children. My son, who is now 23 years old, had the same difficulties as your son. My son was diagnosed with ADHD (attention defeceit/hyper disorder)when he was 14 years old. We had him tested at the AMEN clinic in Fairfield. There extensive testing was done. We were given choices as to medication or alternative therapy. It really depends on how you feel about the medications or if you want to go the drug free therapy, foods, vitamins and some visual therapy. I opted for the medication and it worked wonders. These children are extremely intelligent, just can't focus because they are so alert to all their surrounding and every little thing can interupt their concentration.

To start I would talk with his teachers and tell them you want your son tested. The school district can do this for free. They can help put your child on a schedule with his class work and homework. You should immerse yourself in his academic, such as his homework, he will be much more successful. When he gets home from school, give him a healthy snack and have him start his homework that is most difficult. No TV, no interuptions...allow him to be somewhere with as little distractions as possible. Allow him a 10-15 minute break between subjects so he can break away for a short period, then back to his next subject of homework. He should have a homework folder for all completed homework and homework that needs to be completed. Be aware of when things need to be turned in, as well. You must be consistent. If will be very tiring on your part, but if you want him to succeed, you have to go all the way with him. This will strengthen his study habits, and he will feel proud of his accomplishments and want to do it, eventually on his own. Don't make this a time that he will see as a frustrating time, no yelling. It's hard but you can do it. Also, is there an afterschool homework program for him to help with his homework? They should be informed as to his concentration or how easily he is distracted. If you can get some help with his studies that would be great, so you can get a breather. If not, piece out his homework. Instead of always taking things from him, which he knows are punishments, tell him you are going to work with him to help him get his homework completed and turned in. Be positive, tell him you know he can do it. If he finish his homework, tell him what he can earn, a special tv program he enjoys, 15 minutes extra on the computer with a game he enjoys, a ice cream cone, that you and he share together. Good luck. It does get better, as they get older.

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A.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi A.,
I have three kids and have been confronted w/ the same problem. When my kids come home from school we have a snack together (usually fruit, milk and cookies), talk about our day and get homework set up. I don't know if you have tried a timer - give him 15 good minutes on the clock and then a break afterwards of 5-10 minutes. Then repeat the process as long as necessary.
I also have friends who swear by protein in the snacks in order to get the kids to focus.
Hope this helps!
A.

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K.Q.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm not a nutritionist or even a mom yet (I'm due in May) butI have read that making sure kids get enough good fats (from cod liver oil, fatty fish, coconut oil, etc.), as well as enough good proteins (eggs, fish, shellfish, good meats) helps with concentration and mental clarity. I've been getting a lot out of reading a book called "Nourishing Traditions," by Sally Fallon. I don't love the way it is written but the logic in it makes a lot of sense. Good luck to you.

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T.C.

answers from San Francisco on

7 year old boys naturally have a hard time sitting and focusing on schoolwork for long periods of time. i have the same problem with my 5 year old. the key is a teacher who understands that boys are kinesthetic learners. failing that, rewards rather than punishments seem to be more effective.

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K.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I was an elementary school teacher before my son was born 2 years ago and this is a common ques. from parents, especially boys, this age. Does he have a quiet place to work at home without distractions (tv, siblings etc.)? At this age your son may also need to move a bit and more frequently while doing work. I ran a very casual classroom (not unorganized, but relaxed) and allowed some kids to stand at their desk or kneel on their chairs if this was comfortable for them. Sitting perfectly still in a chair isn't great for all kids.

What I would not do is use food as a reward or punishment. Food has nothing to do with schoolwork so the consequence doesn't match the "infraction." As you mentioned you get frustrated and then your son gets frustrated. You absolutely have to stay calm and positive and reassuring for your son to feel comfortable and confident that he can do it. Get creative and ask his teacher for tips to make it fun.

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D.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I would guess that this isn't a discipline issue, but more likely a developmental one. So, to start, you need to assume that your child is actually doing the best he is capable of in the situation, and work with him to improve the situation, instead of using consequences. I know it is easy to lose patience, but you have to find a way to work with yourself, also, as losing patience will end up completely counterproductive. A regular and ergonomic place to work, a scheduled time, rewards or a break for each section accomplished, should all help.

I will also point out that around this age, 7, is when certain learning disabilities can come to light. My son was evaluated for special education at that age, at our request, and a learning disability was discovered. Among other things, he has severe sensory issues, and is easily overwhelmed. If we had not gotten him an individualized education program (IEP) and certain accommodations, he would have eventually tuned out of school completely, he was THAT frustrated when we requested the evaluation. As with your son, it was evident that I had a very smart child. What was not evident were the handicaps.

Most likely, you have a strictly developmental issue, in that your son simply has not matured to the level required for the schoolwork. But, I would keep an eye out for the possibility there is more. Having our son evaluated made such an amazing difference for him. It helps for him to know why he can be so smart, and yet have so much trouble, all at the same time. Homework is still a HUGE struggle, but he is part of the team in coming up with strategies to make it better.

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K.N.

answers from San Francisco on

If you haven't already done it, taking away TV and video games, not as punishment, but as a lifestyle. Maybe limiting to one hour per day and 2 on weekends or something. Video games and TV are very fast paced and children quickly adapt to that pace, and thereafter are bored by the pace of school and homework.

Good luck.

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M.E.

answers from Sacramento on

Has your son been tested for learning diablilities? If not, I'd do that first. Dyslexia and ADHD can both cause these problems, and if he has it, you can work with it.
Second, find out if he is bored in class. Maybe he needs to be challenged more, or differently.
Third,(if he is not board and has no learning difficulties) you may need to teach him to break things down into smaller parts. He may just be getting ovewhelmed. Teach him to work 15 minutes, then take a 5 minute (10 minute?) break. Remind him that everyone has things they don't like to do, and sometimes we have to do them anyway. Work with his teacher to see if he is responding to something (is there a joker in class who is distracting others?), or if there is something that has worked with the teacher in the past... like moving him to the front of the room. If the teacher is stumped, and your son is tested and everything is normal, start looking at home. Is he sleeping enough? Eating enough, getting adequate protein and complex carbs to see him through to lunch, then home? Watching too much tv? Maybe he needs glasses or hearing help?

IMHO rewarding for good work (even in small amounts) works more effectively than taking toys and desserts away. Maybe a reward chart would help him see accomplishments?

Hope I've helped.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi, I am an OT and I work with attention issues in school kids all the time.

First, understand that challenging attention is probably not under your child's control. Taking away toys/punishment sometimes adds too the distractions and makes it even harder for the child to concentrate.

But firm boundaries and reward systems (incentives) DO work, and they help the child learn that getting the work done is a positive experience. This can increase attention (we all have better attention when we enjoy tasks).

A word on setting up reward systems: make both immediate and long term rewards part of the system. For example, have a chart with a long term reward (for example, 10 finished homeworks equal one trip to the swimming pool). Short term rewards might look like "finish homework, then 1/2 hour of TV". Choose to provide rewards that are not "free", or normally easily accessible. This brings in the idea of boundaries, which really help kids with attention issues.

Boundaries involve "who's in charge". They can be provided in loving, firm ways, and give kids a deep sense of safety. A boundary might look like "game boy is limited to 1 hour a day, and is done only after chores are finished and crossed off the list". Kids learn t o fit into society in polite and grateful ways when they grow up with boundaries. They have friends, because they learn to give and take, and consider the needs of others.

Boundaries around getting homework done might look like "I see it's hard for you to pay attention right now. Lets wrestle on the floor or do jumping jacks, and see if that will help your body settle down." Then (this is the important part), you keep returning to the homework until it is finished. Do not move to a new activity until the homework is finished! Providing breaks and then returning to homework is a good thing. Allowing the child to distract you and "get out of homework" is a really bad idea. Consistency on your part is important, even though you are probably exhausted.

You may find that it helps to break down the homework assignments into smaller parts. For example, if you have 20 minutes of homework, you may say: "we'll work on homework for 10 minutes, then take a break and throw the softball" or, 10 minutes before dinner, 10 minutes after dinner, then I read your favorite book to you.

There are lots of techniques and activities which help increase attention to task. I just pulled up one place on the web which seems to have some ideas: http://www.juststeve.com/Paula/OTResources/siact.htm

Hope this gives you some ideas. And remember, kids usually learn to cope with attention problems. Your job as a parent is to let them know that they are loved just the way they are, and that you will work to find ways to find success--together!

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you had his eyes checked? ears? Within last year...have them checked by pediatric specialist...I was an Elementary School teacher and these often over looked exams can be quite helpful. Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi A. -

I know how frustrating this is...but keep in mind that your son is probably not being belligerent on purpose -- he is really struggling to focus. Therefore, taking away privileges and so forth won't work, and will only make him more frustrated. He may indeed test out for AD/HD, but regardless, you need to work with the symptoms whether he receives a diagnosis or not.

Kids at this age often have a difficult time keeping their minds and bodies in alignment. Kids need physical activity to get their 'squirmies' out before they can focus calmly on schoolwork. So -- have your son do something very physical like scootering around the block, before he sits down to do work. Then, let him work for only 15-20 minutes, but insist that he REALLY focus. After that, give him another 5-10 minute break to go run around the block. I bought my son a trampoline for this purpose -- it's perfect.

When your son is doing his homework, stay in the room or nearby but DO NOT HOVER (do your scrapbooking on another table nearby, for example). If he starts to get off-task, remind him to focus, and remind him that he has another break coming up and to get back to it. If he needs a stimulus, set a timer for the 15 minutes he must work and a timer for the breaks.

Other things to try: some kids need a fidget or stimulation while they are working -- try giving him a squeeze ball, a glass of lemonade, or something to crunch on like celery.

I have a lot more interventions you can try if these don't work -- you can contact me at www.evolibri.com. The very best of luck!

J.

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

ADD often showes up about this age. Have you had him evaluated? I am in the process of getting my 8 year old evaluated for this.

I do think part of the problem is that schools are not teaching in a way that engages boys. They require them to sit too long and listen. Not enough kinetic learning, which is what most boys thrive at ..

Also, the quantity of home work is often too much. I evaluate my son's homework on a daily basis and just choose what my son will complete. He is given too much busy work. I've tried to talk to the teacher about reducing the amount, but she is not accomodating. I think 30 to 45 minutes is the max homework that should be required per day. He has other things to do like baseball, cub scouts, music, and tutoring.

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi...My son is 7 and has the same challanges. I spoke wiht his teacher and the principle and togehter we talked about these challenges and if/how they were different at home vs. school. The teacher ended up getting a timer for my son, so that as they did each subject he could concentrate on that task at hand vs. waiting for the next recess ro lunch, which could seem like forever to an active little boy. This was the answer. Within 1 week he was finishing his assignments in class (The school called the meeting as SST...It really was a great meeting of the minds and my son really benefitted from it...not bad thing at all!) Also, we worked on the rewards method. Taking things away from my son just made him feel worse and made all of us more frustrated. Try rewarding him for every 5 - 10 minute he can sit still and/or finish an assignment...My son loves pokeman cards so when he received a good report from school, that day he receives 1 pokeman card (you can buy them in bulk very cheep on e-bay) Also make sure he only does home work for 10 -15 minutes at a time, then he gets a break to play outside, have a snack, play in his room, then back to school work a little while later. I found that expecting my son to sit down for 30 minute straight lead to sloppy work, distraction and frustrations for both of us. Many times, these kids want to focus but can't. I know it's hard but try to work from the positive approach. My son now "beams" when he can tell me he finihsed his work and has had a good day at school, and in turn is really trying hard because he is so proud of himself.

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C.P.

answers from Visalia on

Hi A.,
I have a son who had the same problem. He is now doing so well. I found that some things that can help are routine for homework. Make a special place and time for hime to do his homework. I used a project board and glures a time line alphabet line, a pouch for his pencils just things that he would need to do his work. We would put it up when it was time to do work and that kept him from looking around at other things. then another thing you might want to think about is, Is it something at school? My son was having a hard time and come to find out it was because of other kids and the teacher was tired of dealing with it.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I have no direct personal experience with this - my oldest will go to kindergarten next year, but I worry about homework and paying attention. Is there a way for you to go to the library to do homework right after school everyday and get it done right off the bat, and never have to talk about it at home? Maybe bring a treat for when it's done, or something positive? Also, have you looked in on the class? it could be that the teacher isn't great - don't blame your child without investigating. Maybe he would do better with a more animated teacher/setting. I wouldn't get into punishing for fear that he will just hate school from now on. Again, I am just guessing!

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you tried sitting down with him and going over the assignments. My youngest did this and I would give him a snack when he got home from school, and then it was time for homework. I'd have him sit at the kitchen table to do his assignments. I'd go over each one before to make sure he understood what was asked of him, and then check his work. My husband used to complain that I was too involved but my son is very, very independent (now in 7th grade), and a straight A student who rarely asks for help. Sometimes they just need a little direction in the early years. Good luck.

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D.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I went through the same thing with my son:) He was an only child at the time also. He could have ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, it simply means he can't focus. Take him to his Dr. and ask him his opinion there is an assessment form you and his teacher can fill out, and go from there. My son is doing great he is getting A's and B's in school now.

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S.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi A.,

Have you thought to have your son checked for attention deficit? Most kids with this are very bright. They become bored easily so their attention strays. As a mom, I would look into it so that you can get him the help he needs to stay focused. Also think about removing as much sugar from his diet as possible. It's worth a try!
Good Luck!

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I had the exact same problem with my son. In second grade he had trouble completing assignments in class and the teacher reported that he was easily distracted. Amazingly in third grade it is no longer a problem. Not sure if he "outgrew" it or if the constant requests to focus actually sunk in.

During homework time, he used to sit at the kitchen table and there were too many distractions. No one in the house could do anything until he was done with homework. We have since put a desk in his room and he is able to work independently.

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My son is 8 and we are in similar situations. We decided to keep him back in kindergarten and he is now in the 2cnd grade. He is moving to the next grade, but his teacher (and his tutor) are recommending a formal assessment regarding his best learning style. Our guy is an excellent reader and brilliant artist :) so it has nothing to do with his intelligence; just his learning style.

Maybe your son needs a certain learning style. We have not done the testing yet, but plan to. The public schools do this testing for free (but I think you have to ask).

Also, when we have him do his homework,he needs to do it early before he gets too tired.

Maybe this will help!

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B.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I would NOT take things away, that will just make him feel worse.
Let him know that you are "on his side". Tell him something like: "Wow, it seeems like you're having a hard time with school right now. Let's see what we can figure out to help you." He may even have suggestions: kids often do.
Sometimes a parent taking an interest in what they're learning can make them feel excited about it, too. Maybe you could sit with him while he does his homework and ask him to teach you what he has learned.
Be careful. You don't want to create a situation where he feels like a failure and thus gives up even trying.

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My first reaction is that he's 7 years old, so if he's not able to focus, taking things away and punishing him is unlikely to help. There's probably some reason why he's not able to concentrate well -- either an emotional need or stressor that's distracting him, or a physical one (could be very subtle).

I think it's useful to get curious about lots of things. I wonder if you could talk with the teacher to figure out some more information about what's going on -- is this just in class? what's the environment like (noisy? visually distracting? cold? stuffy? expectation that he sit still all the time, therefore he really NEEDs to wiggle or move? etc.) - and is there a pattern of when he is more or less successful at concentrating? does it happen on certain days (when he's better or worse rested, when he ate breakfast or didn't, etc.)? can you sit with him and encourage him to do assignments at home, or is this just the at-school type of assignments? etc. What does HE say? Does he realize that he's not focusing? Does he have ideas about what might help? He's a young child, so he may not be able to articulate it, but on the ohter hand he may have a great insight.

Maybe most importantly: when does he succeed, and what's different then vs. the times when he's not meeting the teacher's expectations?

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi , I am a mom of three and my first born who is now almost 11 was quite a busy body when she was little and still to this day. The tough thing is that schools don't really accomidate this more active personality. My question is dose your son ever focus? can he spend any amount of time doing something he really enjoys. Like building legos or drawing or playing cars. Because if he dosn't have a problem focusing on what he really enjoys I'd say he's just say it's a maturity thing and interest. Kids ,some more than others really need to get their just being kids time in .School is so stuctured that children lose so much of that free time to just be a kid dicovering what intrests them. I worry about children like my daughter who are not ready for such long structured school days ,who just start to tune it all out. Where do they fit in the classroom. I have kept my children home to school and they attend a part time class 2 days a week. They have been able to develope at their own pace and not get labled or made to feel badly for their differences. My son didn't start reading till the end of 1st grade and I am sure there would have been pressure on him for this. He loves reading now. So my advice which not everyone will agree with is to consider an alternitive style education. What he's in right now might not be a match. I think he just needs more free time and than you'll see better small periods of focus on the paper school work.

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M.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I went through the same problems when I was in school. Many times the brain is focused on THE WHOLE page and the task can be very overwhelming. If it's math, block out the other problems and have him work on the sheet one section at a time or even one problem at a time where the remainder of the sheet is covered with plain paper. Challenge him to exercise his eyes this way so that he can begin to adjust how he processes his tasks on his own.
I had the opportunity to teach for 3 years and found that in the class 50% of the students had learning disabilities they were able to tap into their intelligence through various exercises that helped them to relate and focus positively on the tasks at hand. Ask the teacher if they are familiar to teaching to multiple intelligences (each students different strength) and if they could suggest a course of study that would adapt the homework to match your childs interest/intelligence. It is so much fun and the child learns what they need to by going beyond a homework sheet. You would be completely shocked to know how many famous and accomplished people of our time have learning challenges. Be encouraged! If your child's teacher is not familiar with teaching to multiple intelligences you may investigate it for your self and enjoy helping your child discover the genious inside!

http://www.todaysteacher.com/MILearningActivities.htm

http://www.udel.edu/bateman/acei/multint9.htm

http://www.casacanada.com/cande.html

http://www.lth3.k12.il.us/rhampton/mi/LessonPlanIdeas.htm

HAVE FUN!!!!

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

As a former special ed teacher I can tell you that punishment never works. If he could do what you wanted him to do, he would. Your frustration will only make him feel worse about his failures. Try getting him seen by an educational psychologist for testing. Also, do some research online. Several parents I know have found that eliminating certain foods helps their children tremendously. Don't stop until you find an answer - he's relying on you to help him.

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S.E.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi A.. Is your son on the younger side? My son had the same problem since 1st grade. He has always been the youngest in the class. He was an A student and then started getting a few B's. Every teacher we had told us he was just on the younger side and that it's a maturity thing not a learning thing. Boys are slower than girls. They said he should "catch up" by 3rd or 4th grade. The teachers told me that it will just click one day and that you can't rush him to mature. He is fine academically and that's great. My son is now 8 and in 3rd grade. He just turned 8 3 months ago. He still has focusing issues sometimes but not as bad. It could also be that he is bored. Several people told me my son could be bored in class. Don't worry too much. He will develop in time. Hope that helps.

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N.K.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter is 9 yrs old and has the same problem. I hear the same thing from her teacher and I see it when we do homework together. You may want to see if your son has ADD. Talk to your pediatrician and they will be able to refer you to someone that can test him. I am in the process of having my daughter tested. I know she really wants to focus but it is hard for her. I just want to help her find more success in school.

One thing I've done when doing HW with my daughter is to time her on an activity. We agree on how long we'll set the timer and then she tries to beat the time. Sometimes it works, other times not. One thing it does is it makes her aware of how long she is taking on one task. Good luck to you!

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C.R.

answers from Fresno on

You may need to have your child evaluation for possible ADHD. Based on the information you provided, the symptoms generally are impulsivity, difficulty completing task, easily distracted, concentrating difficulties, etc. These symptoms become more pronounce when the client enters school, which requires certain cognitive skills that you son may be needing hiop with. You may want to visit www.nativeremedies.com and read about the symptoms and the natural remedies available to assist with the symptoms presentation. Also, medication evaluation by a psychiatrist who specializes in child psychiatry may be necessary. About 70% of ADHD children respond positively to stimulants, such as Ritalin. Also, setting up a contingency contract with your son may be a behavior interventions you can consider (i.e., for every 15 minutes that he works on his homework, he earns a privilege or reward). This may help to keep him focus and actually turn his homework exercise into a game rather than a chore. Hope you find these tips helpful.

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V.R.

answers from San Francisco on

kids are crazy things but we love them I had & myself thats a hole not her or him story
Just let him be child if his room is messy leave it aloun. there room if a wild mess Everything in that room tell how he is inisde Ive taken parenting classes a agnermaniment.
Get douwn to his or her room thats there plcse.
I hopt this helped you.

I have msn mesenger ____@____.com

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J.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I have an 8yr. old daughter who struggles with the same thing and the doctors say she has O.D.D (oppositional defiance disorder) and there is no meds or treatment for this just a lot of patience and creativity. So I have been doing a points and reward system and working with her teacher on this and together we are having success. I have learned that she gets worse when I discipline her or take things away. So I switched it to only positive reinforcement and rewarding and its working like a charm. Her grades are improving and she gets so excited when she has good grades to show me, I like to make it a really big deal when she comes home with them, we like to go for ice cream or a movie at the end of the week. Communication with the teacher and team work is the key.

Good Luck!

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D.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Instead of taking things away could you reward even the slightest good behavior? I have this same problem with my son and threatening, or threatening and then following through don't work. He would suffer any consequence instead of doing homework. Now, when he gives me five crying/fit-free minutes I praise him... we've upped the time... I sit with him and he gets more done when I praise him. Then he gets a break to play WII or whatever. If I have to walk away and cannot sit with him (though that is hard because most of his homework can't be done independently) I set the timer so that he knows he has a finite amount of time to work. He races the timer to see how much he can get done.

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B.T.

answers from San Francisco on

We had a similar issue, which started earlier than 7. What we do, is he earns "something" for doing his homework. Whether it's a dollar, or free time on the playstation (or WII). This works well. It gives the child something to look forward to, so they will focus. The problem with homework is that kids can't see the rewards until after the homework comes back (it's busywork). So, to make them think that they get feedback straight away is to let them earn something (free time, money, coupons for a day out, etc, you can get really creative!) and that's something for them to look forward to. It works on my 8 year old quite well. When they do get the free time, we set the timer. 1 night's homework = 15 minutes or whatever you want to do. That way they know work first, play second.

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D.L.

answers from San Francisco on

You do not mention if his problems focusing carry over into his home life as well. As a teacher myself, I would recommend a positive reward system for completed assignments/ tasks, and working closely with his teacher to figure out what the culture of the classroom is like, and how best to support your son. Negative consequences can be a downward spiral of frustration for everyone, especially if he needs something more.

Good luck.

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L.D.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello. I am a 5th grade teacher. Without more details, here are some suggestions/strategies I would share with you if you were a parent of one of my students (some of which you may already do). Start by having a regular time set aside each day to do homework (as your son gets older, the time each day may vary due to extra-curricular ativities, but set up a schedule and stick to it), set up a distraction-free zone (kitchen table, desk etc.), make sure all supplies needed are readily available (sharpener, paper, etc). Begin homework time by reviewing what he'll need to work on (ealier elementary may need more assistance, by 5th grade, though, he should be keeping his own planner and can just show you each day what he has written in it- verify with teacher through web site or weekly parent-teacher communication that his planner is correct) then have him choose what to do first (initially he may need guidance to learn to choose/prioritize first by due date, then by difficulty level). Go over directions with younger children, but older children should be practicing reading the directions on their own and following through with the order of work. An older child can be checked on periodically, or you can have him bring you each finished piece to review. Please (from a teacher's perspective) do not correct it for him. If he gets many incorrect, tell him to review his work and perhaps he can even put a star next to more difficult ones. Teachers need to know that the work the student is doing is unassisted. This helps us know what your child can do on his own and what he needs more help with to master (and more importantly, specifically what he is having difficulty with). Check your district's guidelines on the amount of time he should be spending working on homework each night. If he is unable to do the work during the time allotted (and he is working, not playing) please talk to the teacher. The teacher can then investigate to see if the work is too difficult or there is any other underlying problem. Also, work with him to develop an organized system for getting work to and from school (some teachers deliberately set up classroom systems to help in this area). One example might be a homework folder or binder with left side pocket for work to be done and right side pocket for work ready to turn in.

Another suggestion, set up an incentive program for work your son completes. Eventually, you can transfer this to what he does without your reminders. Teachers are full of ideas on this, so don't hesitate to ask your son's teacher for more ideas.

I hope this helps!

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

My 15 year old son has had that problem for many years and was just diagnosed with ADD. Not ADHD as he is not hyperactive....but I think you should look in to this as he can receive a lot of help through the school. It is his right to have a good education and if he has ADD they will help see to it that he does. I think it is good for you to know that he cannot help it and that punishments wont help- I know from experience!

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L.L.

answers from Sacramento on

I believe a good program to put your son in is called, "Silvan Learning Center". This program helps children learn how to become more independent in their studies and do better in school over all, in my opinion. If this program is too expensive, perhaps you should make learning fun by checking out some Rock n' Learn video VHS or DVD tapes at your local library or purchasing some on-line.

Also, you can make learning more enjoyable to your child, if you talk to him about school like it's fun. Your attitude can directly affect his. Try to have a smile on your face and voice when you tell him it's time to do homework. Perhaps you can also try an award system. For instance, every time he does his homework, you give him something or treat him with something that's not expensive (e.g. let him watch his favorite cartoon or take him to the park or something of that nature. Rewards can be a good conditioning method.

I sure hope at least one of these ideas that I had mentioned give you some help. Hang in there, you're doing great because you care about your son.

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N.D.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter was ADHD and at 15 we discovered Kung Fu
Martial Arts. She became so improved in her concentration
in school that she got the award at graduation for
being the Most Improved Senior. Brought her GPA from
1.2 to 3.4 in 3 years.
She is now 24 and has won two World Gold Medals in
Full Body Contact. That's not to brag, (OK a little
bit) but to point out that she had Excellence in her,
it just wasn't in the academic field. She is now
finishing her degree in childhood education and plans
to teach Kung Fu (which she already does, masterfully).

Gramma N.

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N.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you or the teacher tried some things that may help him gain better focus or study habits? For instance, breaking the assignment into smaller sections and then offering a bit of time to "goof off." (For example, finish the first line of addition problems and then you can get up and get a drink. Then work on the next line, etc. and repeat the process.) Or putting him on a timer -- how many problems can you finish in 5 minutes. The timer needs to be right in front of him and have some sort of sound when time is up. I'm sure if you and the teacher talk, you can figure out the root of the problem and come up with some other ideas. The idea is to focus your efforts (and the teacher's) on helping him LEARN necessary skills. I don't think taking away additional things will do anything but continue to frustrate everybody.

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N.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Ensure he has the most nutrient dense foods you can get into him. Often kids are expected to focus and concentrate on a mere 4 grams of protein and low fat milk. For better ideas, see NOURISHING TRADITIONS and the Weston A Price Foundation. Also, if you Google "50 conditions that mimic ADHD" you will see the number one reason is hypoglycemia!

You may also like to learn about the feeding relationship described in both Berman's MEALS WITHOUT SQUEALS and Satter's HOW TO GET YOUR KID TO EAT... BUT NOT TOO MUCH. While I disagree with their (processed) food model, the feeding relationship described therein is a critical aspect to the development of your son, especially his relationship to food.

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G.D.

answers from Modesto on

HOMEOPATHY!!!!
This is my homeopath: ###-###-#### Sid Mojabi

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G.A.

answers from Stockton on

A.,

May I suggest the following book.
"Taming the Spirited Child: Strategies for Parenting Challenging Children Without Breaking their Spirits" by Michael H. Popkin

I found it to be helpful for dealing with our boys. Some children are not being challenged by the work the teacher is giving them and they get bored. Bored and distracted. Have you talked with your son about how easy or hard he feels the work he is being given is to him?

I learned to be reasonable with my expectations as well as setting my kids up to succeed. I realized that my children don't fit into societies nice little round holes. They are these wonderful vibrant square pegs and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have had some great teachers and some not so great teachers between our three boys. I have had some work with me and my child felt like a winner and I have had some that find fault in everything they did and they felt like they were a failure in school. This year I have to go into the class of my youngest once a week to make sure he has all his assignments complete (and turned in - he forgets to turn it in). For me I found the teacher plays a big role in the way my child felt.

Wishing you the best of luck! G.

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R.C.

answers from Sacramento on

You may want to consider what is making your son lose focus. Is the work too hard, is there too much of it, or is the setting not conducive to his style of learning? Teachers can modify work to shorten assignments, focus on the basic skill rather than more difficult "enrichment" areas, or seat your child in a "minimal stimulus" area like a quiet corner without posters. Some might see that as punishment, but if it works and the child improves you have a positive result.
I find that the students who need recess and play time outside the most are often the ones who lose it first. Try negotiating, do 5 problems take a 5 minute break or whatever you think would motivate your child. Right now, he isn't interested in (or able to do) the work, and he knows he's just going to be punished anyway, so why try? Put yourself in his shoes, what would get the "7 year old you" to do something you dislike or is incredibly difficult?
lastly, keep in mind attention span limits. For most people it's their age plus two minutes, so your son should be able to attend for 9 minutes-is the homework and school work taking longer than that? If the teacher will not reduce the amount of work, try changing topics every 9-10 minutes, take a break, then go back and finish. Once a child is frustrated their affective filter goes way up-meaning they can't learn or work.

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Y.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I have the same issue with my 7yo daughter. She is so smart but will not apply herself enough in school. I have no clue how to get her to focus.

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

You could try setting a timer for his work time at home--like an egg/kitchen timer.

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V.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hey, There's an easy change to make. It needs to be reward based. Start with praise and time with you as the best reward for him. Is it just class work or home work too? Does he have a homework area and a scheduled time to do it? Are you there helping him get into it by doing the work together? Hopefully yes. Also, have a calm, short talk with him to find out what's happening in class, maybe the dynamics of the class or who he's near should change. Good luck.

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N.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Take away all his privileges until he gets it right. If you can, visit the classroom unannounced to let him know you are watching and to determine what exactly the distraction is...

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S.K.

answers from Modesto on

Hi! I along with many other Moms, have the same situation with my 7 year old son. He is very active- but very smart. I believe there is plenty of time in his life to learn, but only a short amount of time to be a child. I always let him play when he gets home from school. He is already on overlode. I make sure he has had dinner (we eat early during the week), and then together we sit down and do homework. Sometimes I use the timer, or about every 10-15mins we do something a little more fun, or just talk. Then we finish the work.

One thing I have found very helpful with him- no video games or T.V. during the week. He does not get dessert on school nights. He goes to bed early--no later than 8pm and he sleeps through until 7am. He is VERY active and gets very tired and frustrated. If we monitor those things closely, we end up having a well rested, "more" focused, healthy, happy little boy.

Hope this helped
Brandi

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T.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi. I read your request and the responses. I think all of them are great. I don't know if I would be so quick to get private tutoring. Having been tutored myself, as well as being a tutor, I know it's really expensive, and I would leave it as a last resort. Is the teacher open to altering the assignments at home? What I have found to be helpful with my 6 1/2 year old is taking his homework, making a game out of it, and having him record the answers just as it would look if he was doing the h.w. without the game. The teacher doesn't even know we turned it into a fun learning game unless we tell her. If you give me an idea of what the assignments are, I can help you with creating them to be fun and challenging. Oh, is the teacher giving him work that is challenging enough for him? Maybe he is just bored-you did say he was smart!

T.

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