How Can I Get My 2 1/2 Year Old Daughter Interested in Potty Training?

I'm in the same boat with you. My mom has raised 8 children and tried everything. She says the easiest thing to do is back off and let them show interest. She said it was the best thing she ever did. By #4 she let us tell her no more diaper and we were all out of diapers by age 3. My mom says she has never met a kid that never got out of diapers so don't sweat it.

The more a parent pushes, the more a child rebels. This is particularly true of all the great things we want them to do -including the potty. That said, you may want to back off a bit. My son is three and still not potty trined because I pushed him too much when he was two.
Every child blossoms at a different time.

Just back off!!!!!!! By now, she probably knows the drill. You have gone over the procedure and the equipment and she is resistant. You can tell her that she knows where her undies are and when she is ready to wear the Cinderella panties, they are in the bottom drawer. Then step away, and change her diaper when she needs it changed. When she is ready, potty training will take about 5 minutes. Really. Let her decide. One of these days, she will see her cousin or friends using the potty and decide that it is what she wants to do. This is really something that is better left up to her.

I know from experience how anxious you can be trying to get potty training underway and diapers behind you, but believe me, it is soooooo worth it to wait until she is on board with the process before you start. My firstborn could have easily potty trained before he was two, but he put his foot down and said, "No!". He told me he didn't want to go in the toilet and wanted to stay in diapers. Starting the process with him dead set against it would have set us both up for failure. So a couple of months before he turned 3, I gave him the deadline. I told him that once he turned three he would be a big boy and that there would be no more diapers. I told him this A LOT in the two months preceding his birthday so he had a chance to get used to the idea. Once he turned three, we made a big deal about buying the last box of diapers. I took the diapers out of the box and set them in plain site so he could see the pile dwindling as we used them. As we got close we started the count down (i.e. "Look! Only 10 diapers left!"). When the last one was gone he was mentally ready to make the switch to underwear. We put them on and never looked back. He trained easily -- mostly because he was mentally ready for the process to begin. I'm glad we waited. Several of my friends started much earlier and they really struggled -- with the process dragging on for months and months. Once we started, we were done in a week or two. In any case, don't worry. It will happen in time. I've never met a college student who was still in diapers! :) Good luck!

Okay, let's be real. She is in complete control. There's no way you can force her into it. It will just become a power struggle and you won't win. I have 2 and have been a nanny to many. One in particular didn't potty train until nearly 4. Trust me, she won't enter high school in diapers no matter what you do or don't do. She'll know when she's ready and once she is it'll be easy. Just give her lots of love and encouragement and let her set the pace. They grow up too fast anyway!!

L.

she isnt ready yet mom, she will be sometimes girls takes longer, if you push it your in for a battle...

give her another 6 months then re try, try to have her around other kids her age that is potty training, its always easier to have a buddy to pee with .

I wish I had a soulution for you, but I can only offer my support and tell you I completely understand. My daughter is also not interesting in any way in potty training and she'll be 3 in 6 weeks. She cries when we put her on the potty or will hold it waiting for a diaper, pees through her big girl undies and will flat out lie and tell us she isn't wet or dirty when she clearly is. What I've been told is to back off and one day (soon I hope) she'll start showing some interest. If you force the issue, it will become a power struggle and since going potty is one of the few things a little kid can control, they won't do it unless they want to. Apparently, kids aren't considered "delayed" in this skill unless they show no interest by their 4th birthday! Also, I read that the average age for potty training ranges anywhere from 16 to 60 months. If my daughter isn't potty trained by her 5th birthday, I'm not sure how much more patient I'll be able to be. For now, I'm trying to not stress over it too much and hold on to the hope that some magic switch will go off in her head and she'll decide on her own to use the potty. A friend of mine said that for her three daughters the magic age was 3. At that age, all of them decided they were big and didn't need to wear diapers anymore. I can hope that mine will do that to. Good luck!

hi T., I'm pre-K teacher. I've been potty training the 2-3 years old. At the school we asked the parent to bring extra underware,so during the day we train the child with underware and pull-ups for nap time. That's okay if the child having an accident first time. Mostly my student are potty training well now and also we always give them support even though they refuse to do it. Good luck T..
Have a wonderul day. TY

Because of pre-school I pushed the issue with my son and we did it, but not really - he would remember to go 30% of the time and then the rest he would just wet/soil his pants. Too many fights and lots of being upset over this issue have me convinced - her body, let her decide. Re introduce the issue every six months or so, but don't push, because then it really won't work. My cousin waited and it took her 2 days to potty train - day and night!
Good luck!

Why are you in such a hurry? Why are you trying to get her interested? She will let you know when she is ready. Don't push. Simply wait until she is ready!!! She is telling you in no uncertain terms that she is not. If you wait until a child is ready, there is really no training involved. What's the rush, anyway? She is 2 1/2. Wait six months and try again. She may be ready then if she hasn't developed a complex from being pushed too early. If she still isn't ready, wait 6 more months. Potty training is only a big deal if parents make it a big deal. If trauma, crying, resistance, bribery, or aggravation on anyone's part is involved, you are trying to potty train a child who isn't ready. Relax, let your daughter be two, and accept and enjoy her for who she is right now.

Hi T.,
I was always guided by both my doctor and my children's teachers to wait until they are really ready for it. Trying to push our children into potty training before they are really ready just proves frustrating for everyone involved. I waited until my daughter showed me she really wanted to start (by asking to go more often). Even then, it took a while for her to get it. At 3-1/2 I asked my doc why she hadn't gotten it yet, being as she knew how, just not when she had to go. He said she just needed motivation and that came from her friends and classmates. Now, at four, she rarely has any accidents and is almost out of diapers for nighttime, too.
Good luck and have fun,
L. =0)

Hi T.. Sorry, I didn't see you question until now. My first daughter was totally capable of using the potty at 2.5 yrs, but was NOT interested either. At the time, she loved Disney princesses (still does at age 4). Anyway, I went to Macy's and bought a few outfits with princesses on them, mostly pink, and laid them out on my bed. When she saw them and asked about them, I acted like I hadn't meant for her to see them. I told her that they were big-girl clothes that could only be worn with underwear, and that whenever she was ready to use the potty and wear underwear, she could have them. She decided she was ready right away. She certainly had a few accidents, but she never went back to diapers during the day. She knew that if she got an outfit wet/dirty, she only had 1 or 2 princess outfits left for that day. #2 in the potty took a couple weeks longer. If it would help you to know any of the approaches we used, let me know.

I just went through potty training with my second daughter, who is 2 yrs 3 mo. She was tougher because she didn't have such an obvious currency as her sister. She was home for a week from pre-school a few weeks ago, so we decided that the time was right. She was clearly capable, but similarly, wasn't interested. So, one day I made a potty poster, which was a huge piece of hot pink posterboard with a neon rainbow ribbon around it. I put an envelope above it with some very special stickers in it that she could see but not reach (Backyardigan's stickers, glittery hearts and flowers, etc). Every time she went pee pee, she could put a sticker on the poster. For #2, I put a box up high with special 'poo poo prizes' in it, that I would let her look at whenever she wanted, but couldn't play with. (The prizes were BAckyardigans beanie babies and books, since she loves that TV show). There were about 12 prizes in the box, and since she had earned them all, she hasn't needed rewards! We're still using the potty poster 3 weeks later, but mostly because it's fun. Oh, the other thing that really helped was a fun little time that we have. Part of the problem we had been having was that any time I asked her if she wanted to go potty, the answer was a prompt NO. I started setting the 'potty timer', and when it would go off, we would all run yelling and screaming for the potty. (My oldest daughter helped lots with this). Somehow, hearing the timer had her feel like it was her idea to go, and it removed the control issue. We also had #2 challenges with her, but we seem to have worked through them for the most part by now.

Sorry for writing a novel, but I hope my stories help. i think that you're right that you need to back off, but sometimes you can inspire your little one to take the initiative. :) If there is any other advice you feel I can offer, I'm here! Good luck!

I tried with my oldest son when he was 2 1/2 years old and was not very successful, so I gave up and tried again a few months later. He had been interested for a long time, but he did not have all of the signs of readiness (but he had most) when I tried the first time. By the second time around, he had all of the signs and I was certain he was ready so I simply picked the day, told him about it in advance and talked about it like it was very exciting, then when the day arrived, I put him in big-boy underwear and that was the end of it (except for bedtime for a few more months). I never had to have him sit on the potty and wait until he went. I had done that when I tried potty training him the first time, but it was a huge point of frustration because he is a very busy boy and does not like having to sit for long periods of time. So when we were finally successful at potty training, I never had to make him do that. I just told him to let me know when he needed to go and reminded him frequently. The feel of his underwear was so different from diapers that when he did feel it, he knew he couldn't just let it go. It was a little upsetting to him at first, but after a few times using the potty and getting the reward (I gave him mini naturally sweetened peanut butter cookies), he would voice his need to go. I stayed home so we could be focused on that. He only had one accident - it was the end of the second day and we had left the house, and I think it was simply because we were away from home and he forgot about using the potty. It never happened again.

I have read different philosophies of potty training, from waiting for the child to be ready, to the parent deciding when the child is ready. I think you have to choose your style. In other aspects of parenting, I am very much "the parent in charge," but potty training was one where I couldn't do that, for my own sanity. And waiting a little longer worked out very well in our case. I would have to say it worked out like a "dream!" It was so easy. It's been about 8 months now and I still get so excited about him being completely potty trained and he did it himself! I just chose the timing and he stepped up and met the challenge. I'm very proud of him! :)

Now I'm debating which method to use with my second child who is 26 months old. And if I do "wait for his lead," there's no telling if it will be so easy.

Good luck deciding what to do! :)

You might want to try finding "pretty" pants one's with ruffles or prints. Have her pick them out.
But, she might not be ready. Look at the book "potty training in a day" for some good suggestions.
Good Luck!!! My son is 4 and still has accidents - mainly because he digest food in 3-5 minutes - so I am always in the bathroom!

Hi T.! My name is S., I live in Ramona, Ca and the mother of a beautiful 3 year old little girl. I got a book on how to potty train with success. I read it and I was willing to try anything, so I did and the thing that worked was to NOT use any type of pull up. its just a glorified diaper and puts in the kids head that its OK to pee or poo in their pants. I went cold turkey absolutely NO NONE at all No diapers as long as her eyes are open. She HAS to wear panties and it took 1 week of accidents and she got the hang of it. She didnt like the feeling of wet panties or poo in her pants. She can go on long drives, goes to school with absolutely no accidents. She wears a diaper at night and during naps, thats it. 2 diapers a day. I truely believe in this meathod. I have a neice who is a month younger than my daughter and my sister didnt do the training how I did, and she is STILL in diapers because she will not wear panties. Remember your the mom, she isnt in control be consistent! I sure hope this helps with your training. Best of luck!

S.

Dear T.,

Well, you have the right idea, backing off for a while would be good. Also, you can buy her a potty chair to sit beside the big toilet and see what happens. My grandson was almost three before he showed interest in the potty. One time I was drying him after a bath and he peed, he noticed it happening and said 'Ohhhh!' I think he didn't know that happened before. Well, maybe. Could be. We don't know what is plugged in to their brains and what isn't just yet. Also, think about how high up the big toilet is. I saw my gr grand daughter teetering on it and it looked scary to me. That is when we got the potty chair and it helped a lot. C. N.

The key is waiting until she's showing signs of readiness, and it sounds like she's not quite there. I would back off and try again in another few weeks or so. It will eventually click with her.

I'd wait. give a couple months, leave the potty in the bathroom. Maybe just have her try pre bath.

Hi T.,

Boy, do I know what you're going through! Although I did not have any girls (my boys are now 19,16,14), my sons did not have an "interest" either until they were past 3 years old. I used to worry and stress about it, but when I asked my pediatrician, she just laughed and said "well, you will know when they're ready, and I can tell you that I've never heard of anyone starting school in diapers"! It seemed the more I pushed for it, the more they resisted. So relax and back off a bit. Does she have a doll that you could put pull-ups on and simulate using the potty? Encourage her by making a big deal when you have to use the facilites yourself, but don't be forceful.

Yes, just back off for a time. She's not ready.

Perhaps get her some potty training books (child kinds that you read with her), and DVD's on going to the potty.

ALso try taking her to the store, and "letting" her choose the potty chair or toilet ring she likes best... there are some real cute styles. Then maybe she will feel it's "her" project so to speak.

She's not ready for big girl panties either... wait on that. First try toddler "training pants" there are many types and waterproof types too. Look online.

Main thing is don't pressure the child.... this won't work and will only make them fight it. On the other hand, others say to just make them sit on the potty as long as it takes... and show that "you" are the one in control. But these are just different methods.

Take her to the toilet every hour, have her sit... and wait. Give her a book to read or read to her as she sits, or use incentive sticker charts, or "treats." These are things all Moms have tried as well. See what works for your girl. But, for my girl, these did not work... she just had to do it on her own when she was ready.

All the best, it takes time. And once they are potty "trained" they will also have some days where they regress....it's ALL normal. Perfect bladder control takes time...

ALl children are different in their readiness levels. Go according to your girl and her.

Good luck,
Susan

Hi T., don't back off. I never waited for my kids to show signs of of enterest in things, if did, they would have never cleaned their rooms,never brushed their teeth, never put their clothes away, i measn the lists go on, I vowed to not have a two year old in diapers when my husband and I started talking about having a family, going on 3 sweetie she is just being defiant, she does not see you as in charge, infact, if you back off, then she's the one in charge, your can be loving but frim. It's not good hygene to let for her to not wear panties, ( in my opinion) my second child got potty traines at 19 months, all becasue he wanted to wear big boy under wear like hi brother ( Thundercats, batman, Gi Goe )
he was estatic about big boy underwear. I took my kids to the store and I let them pick out their own underwear/panties.
be firm but loving. It was easy for me, to potty train. my first was trained 21 monhts, 19, months. and 22 months, make it fun, at the same time be firm, J. L.