C.J.
Never never never have joint accounts! Never! I have been with my hubby for 11 years 7 of those being married. Never never never would I agree to get a joint account. My mom says the same thing.
Does anyone out there keep separate finances from their spouse? Do you keep your own checking account?
Most people I know who are married just put everything in one pot and pay their bills from that. And that was how we decided to handle it before now. My issue is that with my second husband it's more complicated. There are kids, child support, past debts, etc, etc...And I have broached the subject of wanting to keep separate accounts to lessen the disagreements over money. My husband has been resistant to it. I wondering if it works better for any of you who have done it that way?
Never never never have joint accounts! Never! I have been with my hubby for 11 years 7 of those being married. Never never never would I agree to get a joint account. My mom says the same thing.
Apparently I view things differently than other people who have answered....I think that if you vowed to share the rest of your life together, then that included your money. My husband and I have always had a joint account since we were dating and we wouldn't have it any other way. Of course we used to have money fights like all couples. We have completed FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY and we no longer have any money fights at all. That 13wk course changed our lives. Basically without money fights, we don't fight at all. It does cost around $100 to take, and is a once a wk thing that you both attend for a couple hours, but I HIGHLY suggest it. My husband didn't want to do it at first and after the first lesson he was a changed man and couldn't wait to go each week.
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We have three accounts... his, mine and ours. Household bills are paid out of "ours". We have separate credit cards and other "bills" (school loans, subscriptions, etc) that are paid through our separate accounts. We have always been very open with eachother about money and have an agreement that no major purchases (over $250) are made without talking with the other. We have had this system since the day we purchased our house (about a year before we were married) and so far so good!
My husband and I have NEVER put all our money into one pot.
We have a joint account into which we both contribute evenly for our monthly expenses and a little extra for emergency expenses (appliance repairs, etc).
Everything else, we have go into our own private accounts. My husband is a spender, I am a saver. That way, once our joint responsibilities are covered, we can each do with the extra money as we like. We've been doing this 5 years now, and it's worked really nicely for us - though a lot of people have been very critical.
You just have to be careful not to keep secrets about the money and where it's going - that will put a huge wedge between you very quickly.
We are DEFINITELY a "his and ours" finances family. We have separate credit cards and separate banks accounts. (We are "on" eachothers, but only in name, we don't touch the other person's accounts). I am a strong proponent of this. I think it helps us all watch our spending and we each know which bills we are responsible for. I think it's pretty fair how things are divied up. By nature, "my" responsibilities are more variable, and we talk and adjust as needed if I need some extra breathing room. We very rarely disagree about money or care about "extra" purchases the other makes as long as they're meeting their primary obligations first. It works quite well for us.
My husband and I have been married for 7 years and we've always had separate accounts. I have my own checking and savings account and he has both of his own, as well. Then we have a joint savings account that we both put money in to. We split up the household bills (he pays mortgage, health insurance and child care and I pay the utilities, car insurance and any extra activities for our kids). Then, we both put an agreed upon amount in our joint savings account every 2 weeks and after that is done and everything is paid, the rest is individually ours to use as we choose. We both have access to all of our accounts so I can always see how he's spending his money and vice versa. He's more of a saver than I am, so this works great for us. I think we would probably fight a lot more about money if we shared everything. But, that's just our personalities and I know each family is different. You have to do what works for you. Good luck.
Dear Luka,
As from the previous post, we have our separate account plus one "joint" account that we contribute proportionally to our earnings (my husband contributes more because he earns more)
The joint account goes for household bills (rent, electricity, gas, groceries, kids clothes and pediatrician...)
Then we have our own account with the money left for whatever we need/want.
And as Dana says, no secrets!
a few years ago we switched to a his mine and ours account. we each have a certain "allowance" amount in our individual accounts and everything else goes into our household account. household pays utility bills, mortgage, groceries etc.
out of our personal accounts we pay for other things (he wanted a netflix account, I wanted a gym membership, we pay for those ourselves) works great for SOOOO many reasons.....if I want to buy a new outfit or coffee out or whatever I can, same goes if he wants more fishing/hunting junk, its his money. Also works great at Christmas or birthdays to keep purchases a surprise ;-)
FYI we are both on eachothers accounts so there is no secrecy, but it is mainly just in name we never touch eachothers accounts.
best of luck to you
Not married but have been living with the same guy for 5 years. WE have 3 girls between the 2 of us..He has alimony to pay and used to have child support till he got custody. We have talked about getting a shared acct...but really this works great for us. We share the mortgage...we each make our own ins., car, bike payments. He pays electricity and water..I pay cable and phone. We switch off on who buys groceries and who buys toiletries, cleaning supplies etc..Has really worked well for us. Same for going out to dinner, one time he pays, the next is my turn. Its old hat now, we just do it without thinking about it. Never have money fights. Big purchases for the family we discuss, save up and split the cost.
This is really a decision you need to make because what works for one family may not work for you. It sounds like you already know what you want and if you take what other people's responses are and what has worked for them in having separate accounts (but also JA), you can integrate these ideas into your families financial planning. Having a joint account with my husband has been great and we've never had any problems but if we were to get separate accounts I doubt there would be any problems there either. It's all a trust factor, open communications and how well you both manage your money. In my opinion your reasons for wanting to have a separate account is a VERY GOOD ONE and that's what should help in making your final decision.
My husband and i have a joint checking, a joint savings and we both have our individuale checking accounts. We each have a weekly allowance that goes into our own accounts (its not a lot as times are tough) to pay for our gas, food, etc. Then the rest goes into our joint account for bills, grocery, etc. If there is any left it goes into our joint savings. This seems to work good for us. My husband is not good with the money so that is why we have our own allowance each week and i handle all the bills and money out of our joint account. I think it is good to have both.
I"ve been married for 6 years, together for 10. We joined accounts when we bought our first house. For us this has been just fine. We make the same amount of money. We both didn't have much debt going into it so there wasn't baggage to deal with. My husband returned to school and took out a loan, but I bought my first car and had loan on that. I do the bills. We both have access to both accounts. As far as credit cards go, they are individual but we rarely use them. This works for us and in my opinion doesn't cause any issues of "mine vs your money."