Homework Problems

I have my daughter start her homework at the dining room table while I'm cooking dinner. By the time we're done with dinner, I usually just review things with her and help her study. I also let her play her violin while I'm doing the dinner dishes. it's nice to listen to music while I'm doing chores. :)
In other words......just multi task. good luck! :)

What is everyone doing before you get home? Are they in some sort of child care where they could help with some of the homework? If you set expectations with them of what they need to do before you get home, I would think that would help. Some might not be able to get done without help when you get home, but it can at least get started.

K.; yes this can be very hard, maybe its dinner you should be planing for the next day, do a crock pot thing so you dont have to do alot of preparation, and second, i have 3 boys, homework was always hard to get them to do it, but if they enjoy tv or computer, have a time, like when you get home, they have to turn off all tv and radio, and computer and give them one hour to get it done, if they get it done then they get privileges chances are by 6 pm, they have all ready watched and played, they will learn that when you come home, they can sit at the table, and do their homework while you are making dinner, this can allow for good family time too, they know how to do their work, and if they need you, you are right there, or have the grown up who might be there with them help them do homework right when they get home, either way , just enjoy life, do what worrk you have to do, for the next day , then divide up chores and have others help so you are not strapped with all of it, my boys loved it when i put the chores in a bowl and they got to draw they could do also i would put in there, get a quarter or get a snack, and if they drew that out they all would get it, make it fun and enjoy , homework is soo important, and good for family grow time, and time well spent, enjoy life D. s

Maybe dad could at least start some dinner or work with the kids on their homework. It's sounding like it's all on your plate. So you and hubby need to sit down and write out what needs doing. Divide and conquer. And why can't the kids help out? Kids need to learn how to do things. So teach them how laundry is done; read the tags, how much detergent for load size, etc. A 9 and 13 year old should be able to handle that. Or one does laundry, the other learns how to do dishes. C'mon; you're a family, so everyone should pitch in!

Ok time to ELIMINATE THE UN-NESSECARY AND DE-STRESS. Maybe you could rid of some outside obligations that also take your time. I dont know how much time Arbonne takes away from you being present in your life but sometimes little things add up. A helpful thing for me is the moment I wake up in the morning before coffee before waking kids I 1st go to laundry room and put a load in. It is always ready for the dryer by the time I leave at 7:30. I do a load a day. SOOOO helpful. Also, before bed take 20 minutes get all you can done for the morning as possible... clothes out, bags ready and by the door notes written ect..In the a.m. unload dishes and prepare something towards your dinner for that night. Alot in the a.m. you can make sides ahead and rewarm them when you get home. (spaghetti sauce and noodles can all be rewarmed, mashed pots, green beans, salalds, fruit dishes, the list is endless and usually doesnt take too long.) I cook the meat at dinner time. When I make meatballs for spaghetti I make 5 lbs worth and flash freeze them then put them in seperate quart bags. Easy. I always make more noodles than I need for a dish also becausu they freeze and unfreeze good too. When I make a quich I usually make 4. They dont have to be cooked you just through them in the freezer uncooked. Pull them out and cook frozen for 45-60 and this is easy when low on time and motivation for dinner. I make cookies in large amount and freeze quart size bags for desserts. I make several sweet breads at a time they freeze great also, lasagna, chicken potpies, soups ect.I buy large portions of meat and seperate say 4 chicken breast in a bag but marinate each bag differently and freeze. Then just pull out and bake while warming all those sides you made that morning. It is great to be ready when you get home. So your not hectic. less stress. and mostly always always always make your kids do homework. DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO RUN YOU. NO TV, NO COMPUTER, NO GAMES, NO PHONE, NO OUTSIDE, NO FRIENDS, NO NOTHING TILL ITS DONE PERIOD....It is your duty to them to instill in them that hard work is crucial. So, I rambled but i have been able to get so organized thanks to some small things that were easy to implement I too have 3 kids and a husband and house to take care of along with everything else. Good Luck, God Bless and cut out the stuff that is not important for you and your family. At 8pm be done with chores and relax. It is not fair for everyone to be balanced in thier life and not you. take care of you! Everything will be there tomorrow as well. Look up www.flylady.net that is very helpful to get organized.

If there is any way that you can afford it, hire a cleaning lady!!! If not then I knew someone who did Sat cleaning, the whole family had to do it, it was done in the morning, nobody went anywhere or did anything unless it was done. You can put the jobs that need done, on papers in a jar, and everybody pulls one and does one every day.

My son is 14, I feel your pain!!! You have to set strong limits, no phone, tv, video games, computer, etc, until all the homework is done. He can do it between school and home (where is he at that time). You can have them help you with dinner. My son has to set the table, clear the table, and put the dishes in the dishwater and empty the dishwasher, his other duties are to feed the cat and dog, and take out the trash and do whatever else I need done. Both of your kids are able to do work.

I would also be careful not to put too much on them. You are stressed when you get home because you have so much to do, don't start stressing them out too. Tell them they can do homework while you are cooking dinner or between 7 and 8. Or something like that. Give them a choice, even kids need a little time to wind down after their day, it sounds like they are just as busy as you.

Put dad to work. These aren't just your kids. Don't nag though, sit down and talk to him about how stresed you are, and ask him if he can take out the trash, or whatever, start with one job and give him lots of praise, then you might find that he is more willing to do more. Sounds silly but so far it is working for me... read "Mars and Venus: Together Forever"

You already have a lot of great advice here, so I'll make it quick, I am in the same situation with my kids and one of the time savers I have found is that I quiz them every morning on their spelling while they are eating breakfast, and I pick one or two of the words and repeat the spelling of it while I tuck them in bed. It's not much but it does make a difference to have one less thing to worry about when your plate is already overflowing!

Can you do a crockpot recipe so that the minute you get home your kids could have started to set the table and all you have to do is put dinner on the table?

Perhaps your son can practice cello while you are doing dinner? I teach piano lessons and recommend setting a specific time/same time each night to practice so it becomes like clockwork.. maybe if your son knows that at 6:30 while you make dinner he has to practice after a few nights of complaining.. he'll just start doing it?

Can you husband help with something? Like one kid's homework while you do the rest?

K.
Hi. You may think this sounds extreme but here goes.... try living with less----quit your job--- stay home and homeschool your kids. You can sell your Arbonne for extra income. You can do it! Just be grateful for everything you do have and it's great to be home with your children everyday! I homeschool our 4 children (11-b,9-b,7-b,5-g) and on most days we are done with all our school by noon! That leaves the whole afternoon for them to be kids, get errands done, do fun educational games, clean house, take field trips, read to them, go outside and play with them, you name it! I know that homeschooling is not for everyone but once you get going it's very satisfying. And yeah everyday is not all happy-go-lucky days but those are the days you take to do what's most important---spend quality time with your kids! I get comments all the time on well behaved my children are and I know it's because of the time we spend together. (Plus I don't ever have to spend $$ on school clothes and supplies -it's one box of crayons, markers, pencils etc. and we don't have the peer pressure to buy everything like all the other Jones' have! And we don't struggle with them trying to be like others, they know they are valued for them just being them and that they don't have to dress, talk or act like others to be accepted.) Here's a book you may like "The 7 Habits of Happy Kids" by Sean Covey and also I just found this web site called myrewardboard.com its a chore chart, with a goals list that you can put anything you want into it. We started it last Friday and the kids love it. We are trying the 15 day free trail period. But I think I'll be purchasing the program this week for $19.95. Even though I'm home all day I still have a very hectic day teaching 4 different grade levels and a household to run, so my children help out, they vaccum, empty dishwasher, fold clothes, clean floors, wash windows, etc. and it doesn't hurt them a bit, it builds good character! Also we aren't raising children, we're raising adults and they need to learn to do those things anyways.
I know the homeschooling sounds extreme but I have been doing it for 6 years and see what a difference it makes. My children may not be rocket scientist someday but they will be happy with themselves and like who they are or who they have become and be grateful for everyting they have and know that they are important in this world, not just because they wear labeled clothes, have a fancy car or huge house or the latest gadets, but because they will be the ones with time to enjoy their life with less and be content.
To me, that's what success is all about! And that's the most important lesson our children need to be taught! Not how much they know or to be compared to others!

Good Luck!
C.

You know your kids responsibility level and what you have tried or are willing to try... I hope that you get some fresh ideas and not just repeats of all that you have done already.

I agree with the practicing cello while your making dinner... The 3rd grader can do her reading then also...:-) I know I cook better when there is some sembilance of order at the time... lol
After dinner the kids clear the table while you switch loads of laundry.The kids plop the books on the table and get to work while you load the dishwasher or wash the dishes. If the kids need help then dad (assuming he's home at dinner time and after) can sit at the table and help them when needed.
I know its easier said than done... I only have one in 2nd grade right now but it seems like we are always short on time for homework.

Where are the kids between getting out of school and you getting home? Any chance of them doing something like a homework connection and having some of their homework done BEFORE arriving home? Things like the reading can be done at daycare, or the kids are old enough for you to be able to say read .... pages and when I get home I'll ask you questions about it.

Is the battle with your older one because he doesn't want to do it? Perhaps set up a rewards system for him. Sit, do it with out arguing and on ----- day we will.... (get pizza, would help out you with dinner prep... dad will take you to a movie, give you an extra hour of video games, etc... You pick a list of possibilities and let him at the beginning of the week pick what his motivation will be.)

Setting a schedule and sticking to it is the key. That way even if your out of it (sick or distracted) the kids know what they are supposed to be doing.

Have you talked to hubby about how stressed you are feeling?I would suggest to my hubby that HE is incharge of homework... unless he wants to cook and clean. That way it can all get done at the same time with supervision and maybe even have some cuddling time left over before bed time.

who is watching the kids after school? They might be able to supervise some of the homework... and you do not mention when your husband gets home, or what he does to help with homework supervision. This is not just your job..... both of you are parents, and both have responsibilities for homework and other not so pleasant parental chores. Cello practice could be supervised by someone else, too..... before you get home, or by your spouse. You do not have to do it all.

If your finances allow, hiring someone to do some of the cleaning chores once a week can help.... when I was similarly overwhelmed, I had a teenaged daughter of a co-worker spend Saturday afternoon helping clean house. I paid her minimum wage, and she also baby sat for us, so this was someone that I trusted in my house. It was a huge help, and decompressed weeknights.
We all empathize. Homework ends up being work for the adults, not just the child.Schools continue to emphasize parental involvement, so it will not get any easier for you unless you get other people involved. Good luck
L.

Hi-looks like you have had a lot of good advice. Meal prep is a great idea.

One thing that worked for us was to have a family meeting and enlist the kids help. have THEM come up with suggestions on how to get them to do stuff. Make a family plan together, so that they 'own" a lot of it.

Something like - hey guys, I need your input here. Im not happy about being all stressed out and grumpy, and i bet You arent happy either the way things have been working around here. lets come up with a plan that has some fresh ideas. What do you think will work? What should happen to you if you don't do your homework?

We always ended our "meetings" with everyone saying a good thing about someone else.

Surprisingly enough, It worked like a charm with my stepdaughter. Took the pressure off me --and I got some stricter replies that I would have come up with. She loved having a schedule list (or chart) and knew what was expected of her. She took over her laundry at age 11, and I constantly praised her, telling her that "
a lot of college-age kids cant do what you are doing. You are waaaay ahead of the game. "

Have the kids decorate and make their own chart/list but dont spend a ton of time on it.

the kids can also make up a "food calendar' and fill in meals they like - like hot dog night, spaghetti, etc. you know what you are making ahead of time. Kids like to know what is coming up.

Have some sort of reward if things go smoothly for 2 weeks - like a family night (or afternoon) at the movies together. Or the mall, or whatever.

Lastly--can Dad start the homework while you are doing dinner?

Good luck.

hope this helps.

First, let me just say I love Arbonne products! What time do your kids get home from school? Are they there before you or do they go to after school care until you get home? They should be doing homework right when they get home...it's so much harder to get back into the learning mode after a couple hours break. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate....does your husband help you? Because he should. Kids have a lot of responsibilities and it's your job until they get older to make sure they get done. As a teacher, it is extremely frustrating when children don't finish their homework and when kids give the excuses that their parents didn't have time to help them. It sounds like your daughter's homework should only take her a little over an hour to finish if that. What worked for me when I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to do anything else until I practiced my clarinet and did my homework...right when I got home. Maybe that would work for your son.

What are the kids doing between school and you getting home? In my family, the kids have to do homework before anything else. If they haven't done it by the time I get home, they start it while I do dinner. Sounds like you are the catalyst for them and that's not good for anyone. Plus, they get themselves a snack as soon as they get home (often snacking while doing work). Its been hard for me to let go of their responsibilities, and my eldest, 13, is very bad about doing his homework. The younger ones are really good. I think that's because I started giving the responsibility to them younger than him, so its stuck. But in the end its his job to do well in school and all we can do is enforce consequences and rewards for the job he does. I find that the more I let go, the more they do. I told them "I need help in the evenings. I'm tired and need rest. I'll make dinner, but I need you to have the homework done, and your dishes done after dinner. If you don't help me I get frustrated and will probably get mad" That way they have control. My kids love control! You didn't mention what dad's responsibility in all this is? If you're typical, you probably allow him the relaxation that you don't allow yourself? In order to be all the super-woman you need to be, you need to delegate and TAKE the time you need. They aren't going to hand it over. For me, its hard to be nice about it if I'm stressed, so I always give a warning if I'm getting to a bad place. Good luck!

Hi K. O, first relax, second, deligate. I have what I call emergencey dinners, literality taking 5 to 10 min prep time, my children help cook, or do homework & watch me cook. Here are 3 examples, not knowing your family's food preferences, spaggitti, pre made on day off, do not mix sause with noodles, that way you can freeze the extra sause to use during the week for your emergence meals, cook nooles, garlic bread, warm sause. Next Chicken with vegetables, and potato's, cut potato's the night before, in cubes, place in pot of cold water place on stove, this will help take out much of the startch, next cut vegs. place in fridge, place chicken in fridge with oil, garlic, and wh. vinigar. Cook potato's for 3 to 5 min. drain, in fry pan with little oil, place potato's carrats muchrooms onions, and oragano, fry on low heat 20min. steam veg. 5 to 7 min.drain, add cheese, chicken, on broil in oven turn every 5 min. 20 min total. With any left over meat, cut the vegs you like cook to desired tenderness, make or add gravy, add cubed meat, pour into pie shell, bought or home-aid, cover with bought or home-aid mashed potatoes and fav. cheese. 30min on 350. e-mail for more recieps, or go to Paula Dean web. Have the children get involved, ether in the cooking process, prep. for tomarrow, or the cleaning after. ____@____.com

Crock pots are wonderful inventions and now they have meal kits and liners that make everything easy. You prep it the night before along with everything else, then throw it in the pot in the morning. Your son is old enough to turn it off, then serve it when they get home. Another thought is to take one day and cook a ton of food (make it a family activity), then freeze it all in portioned containers. Again, your son or daughter can easily throw it in the microwave to cook. Your kids won't have to wait for you to get home to eat, and you'll know they have a healthy meal. This may be enough to lower the stress factor when you get home from work, thereby allowing you to better plan your evenings.

Good Luck!

Oh my, takes me back to those years, working, kids, the house. It is very frustrating so you have to decide which is more important and letting the house go a little is one thing that won't hurt anyone, except Mom's pride if someone drops over unexpectedly. Try, try, try (insist!) your kids work on their homework themselves while you are getting dinner. As for dinner, go for the easy, fast to prepare things, leave gourmet for the weekends. If one of them is struggling with a subject and needs special attention then set that time aside after dinner to work with that one. Don't forget that extra pair of hands (Dad), sometimes they need to be assigned a job because some of them won't pick up on it themselves. He can either help with dinner or the homework. My husband and I had this arrangement, he would help on math and science and I would help on English and Social Studies/civics. Fortunately you can't help on cello practice so there is a small break for you. If you cook, hubby does dishes and vice versa. Don't let him off the hook, you work hard too and you're both in it together. I have been right where you are and it does get better. Don't be afraid to let a few things slid and pick up a pizza every now and then, it won't hurt anyone but it may just save your sanity. Don't forget to give yourself some time, you sound like the ballast in your family and they are counting on you so a little pampering whenever you can fit it in is essential. Can't stress enough, let go what really doesn't matter because you can't do it all. It passes quickly so hang in there.

S.

Hi K.,

I agree with using the crock pot for dinners as often as possible. Also, look online for some fast and easy dinner recipes. If you sign up for Kraft's website they send you recipe books in the mail with a lot of easy and nutritious recipes as well as emails with suggestions.

As far as the workload around the house, your children are old enough to pitch in and help and your husband should be helping you also since you work full time too. When my oldest was younger we had a very hectic hockey schedule and I was a single parent. He started doing his own laundry at the age of 8 and he has always had chores such as clearing the table, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning bathrooms...etc. I always told him that if I was going to spend 4-5 days a week running him around for hockey then he was going to have to help out. I also feel that it helps to inhibit some responsibility in them as well as teaching them some skills for later in life that they will need. They should have plenty of time for completing any homework that they don't need help with before you get home. Rewards system like the one mentioned in an earlier post always worked well with my son also.

Good luck!!

T.

Make friends with your crockpot, but first, buy the liner bags so you don't have the cleanup, worth every penny. Hire some of the chores done. Think in terms of "value of your time". You will end up sick if you stay this stressed for to long. Good luck!

I'm with ya!!
the only thing i've found that helps a little bit...is prepping the dinner, the night before, or on the weekends. Alot of dinners can be ready to go in the oven when you get home. Or even use of the crock pot if your morning aren't so crazy. Or I do little things...like buy the jumbo size onions, and cut the whole thing up and keep it diced in the fridge, so that it's all cut up and ready to go for recipes. Big dinners are for weekends, and quick things like tacos, spaghetti, etc are for the really hectic nights. I have a few easy recipes that can be assembled the night before or days before and then thrown in the oven when you get home, just message me and let me know.
Are the kids home between after school and 6? Try to see if they could get their homework done before you get home somehow...my kids go to an after school program, and they try to get it done there (yeah right...who am i kidding...they try! ahhaha)

i am a single mom of 4 and your kids are old enough to help out some. they could also start their homework before you get home. when mine didn't do their homework they couldn't have extras- tv, games, toys and such. can your hubby help also?

HI,
I'm pretty strict about our routine at night, but it seems to work, this is how it goes. Kids arrive at home and have a half hour to snack and watch TV. After that they each have one houshold chore (like emptying the dishwasher) that they have to do and then they can play untill dinner. We eat at 6:00 together and then it is home work time. They sit at the table and do homework while I do dishes and usually my husband helps with homework when he is home. They can not turn on the TV or play a vidio games untill every one is done with home work and backpacks are layed out for the next day. They have showers and get ready for bed and then they can have TV time after that untill bedtime. It is hard to keep on track and some times we have interuptions (like swimming lessons etc.) and I know what your saying I don't get to sit down to relax until everyone is in bed. Then I'm tired too! I do find that it is helpful to have a snack out and have that first half hour when every one gets home to just chill from the day and then to try to do everything in the same order every night (not always at the same exact time). There is no two ways about it, it is hard work being a mom, especially a working mom. Hang in there, and have lots of grace with yourself.

Hi K., I also work full-time, as does my husband, so when our three kids get home at night our house is total chaos as well. Thankfully, my husband helps a great deal with homework and chores, so that makes things much easier on everyone. Homework is done while dinner is being prepared and then continues after dinner is cleaned up. Most of the time my husband helps with that while I make dinner. No TV until homework is done. Depending on the amount of homework, piano practice comes next and I'll let that slide sometimes based on how late it gets. As for dinners, I find what has helped me is planning the meals ahead of time. I do grocery shopping after church on Sundays, so Saturdays I'll make a mental list of which nights will be quick dinner nights and which I can spend a little more time on. That helps me plan meals and determine the grocery list for Sunday. Laundry doesn't happen during the week for my own sanity, and is saved for the weekends....that's the only way I could find time to relax myself! I know its hard....working all day and then not getting any down time when you get home. I'm there every day! Good luck!