Holiday Visiting and Preventing an over Tired Baby

Put your foot down! Just because everyone wants to hold the baby doesn't mean that it's a good time.

I know how hard it can be to put your foot down to family when you've just become a new mommy and may not be sure of yourself (at least that was MY experience with my inlaws) but now is a good time to start!

If your baby is on a regular schedule, do your absolute best to keep him on that schedule. My advice with the baby in general, is to not worry too much, really. Babies can handle what they can handle, and can't handle what they can't handle. I think the best plan, even for the long run, is to expose baby to lots of new experiences "out of the norm."

That's just my own personal view though. We took our son camping when he was a mere 2 months. He was an angel right up until the ride home when I needed to pull over and let him scream for an hour. Hey, it's not easy being a new person! However, my son now, at eight months, is pretty adjustable.

Just say no when you need to. Your son will let you know what he needs. Think positive thoughts!!! And good luck!

***edited to add***
When we went camping, I insisted we bring the swing with us. At home it was the only surefire way to get him to sleep and I wasn't about to end up in the woods with a screaming baby! The swing was the first thing we set up and he conked out in it, right in the middle of an open field like nothing...
What I mean is, if your son has a particular attachment to something (the swing, a blanket, being driven around to sleep) make sure to bring that stuff with you!

At 3 months its pretty easy to put them down for naps when his normal schedule is. Just make sure to bring a pack and play, car seat, or swing with you so you have some place inside to put him. I never had a problem going to my family's for holidays with them wanting to hold the baby it gave me the time to eat w/ two hands and without a baby in my lap which was a rare event at home. Enjoy them holding the baby and getting to have free hands.
Edited: Don't forget if you are breastfeeding your baby has all your anitbodies so I wouldn't be overly concerned about germs just tell those that want to hold him to wash their hands. Any adult with common sense will try to avoid your son if they are sick its any young children you don't want to be poking and toughing him.

Since the baby is so small, (3 months old) they do tire out quickly and become fussy evne quicker. At the first sign of the little guy's sign of being tired, no matter who has him swoop him up, and lovingly to baby and the relative, say, "all right little guy, it's time for your nap". Take care of his needs, lie him down and get you some rest too. Also it might help you if someone can help you with the baby, that would be a nice 'CHRISTmas' gift for you and hubby and a gift for the family as well.

Hi H., Last Christmas my son was 4 months, so I feel ya.
Here's what I did.... I literally became momma bear, and by that I mean VERY protective! His sleep is crucial and anyone who has a child will understand, so be protective of that. We took our son to a family Christmas party and he slept most of the time in the spare bedroom in the carseat (bring your baby monitor with you and even a sign for the door thats says, "Shhhhh, baby sleeping"). A few people did go peek at him a few times. When he's awake put him in some type of sling or carrier on you or his dad, this will keep him from being passed around too much and picking up EVERYONES germs. Also, talk honestly with your mom, she was a huge help because she would make sure that he wasn't passed around or getting tired. Don't be afraid to say you need to feed him and take him in a quiet room for a half hour or so, then if he falls asleep, you'll know he needed it and let him sleep. Everyone will be excited to see him but they will also understand that he has needs and they will respect you for being Momma Bear. Good luck. Also, you can say something like, "He's really been spitting up alot lately and I wouldn't want him to ruin you pretty shirt/dress. It's pretty gross when it happens." This works GREAT! (on that note: bring an extra shirt with you as it will probably happen and a burp cloth will just encourage the passing around) Happy Holidays with your new son!

I know it's difficult but if there are any family members you can "set" limits on or tell them "the baby is sleeping now when he's up you can hold him" do it before they arrive. Another option is to put him in a Baby Bjorn on you...that way everyone can see him, but he's still able to sleep and not be poked and prodded. Ultimately you will just have to set some ground rules...there are going to be many more holidays and many more family functions. And we all know how important sleep is for a newborn.

Good luck!! Have a wonderful holiday with your son...it's a precious time. Warmly, C.

Hi H.,

At 3 months, your son will probably be much less stressed out by all the activity than you will! My best advice is, don't let anyone who is sick hold him. Ask anyone who holds him to wash their hands first. My guys did fine being passed around, they just slept with whoever they were being held by. I put them down in pack n play or crib depending on where we were so they would have some uninterrupted sleep time. Trust me, we were much more stressed by all the doings then either of the kids! Enjoy your first Mommy Christmas!

my first was 3 months at her 1st christmas, and my parents decided to visit - uninvited. AND I had to deal with my husband's nieces and nephews, who are also not great about boundaries. its a balancing act between wanting to let family bond with your baby, being happy someone else can hold him for a bit so you can be a normal adult for a few minutes, and being aware of your son's limits.

I used my sling a lot - that way, if my daughter was in the sling, it was harder for others to try and hold her or take control... it was especially effective when I had her in the sling and could show my family that I could do normal things with her there. I also was very insistent about nursing her often so she had time to bond and rest with me between being passed around.

good luck!

You're not providing a cute puppy for their enjoyment - this is a child! He is not going to know who these people are, and he may not enjoy being held. If they can hold him so he sees you and not them, that may help. Take a quick photo and take the baby back. Or sit next to Grandma but YOU hold the baby, and have someone take a photo - then show the photo in the camera to Grandma to get her focus off the baby and on to the photo memento. If he's fussy or crying, tell them outright that this isn't a good time, he's overtired or overstimulated. Or tell them the pediatrician said "absolutely not." You can ask the pediatrician, or just say that's what the pedi said. A 3 month old in his first room full of new people in the winter - he doesn't have the immune system. I'm not saying to freak out - I'm saying to use this as an excuse. Be strong. Who cares if they get miffed at you? Remember that colds and flu are transmitted more by hands than by kisses - someone who just blew their nose or covered their mouth with a hand during a sneeze, or who shook hands with someone who did, is not someone you want holding the baby's hands. The baby rubs his own nose - bingo, COLD - or his eyes - bingo, CONJUCTIVITIS. A lot of people will say, "Oh I have a cold, so I won't kiss you." But that's not how most of the germs get moved from person to person. wash your hands, and the baby's hands, a lot.

Otherwise, take him in a quiet room to settle him down - maybe the bedroom where everyone puts the coats! Just lie down on top, feed him, and soothe him. Or get up to show him Aunt Mabel's beautiful decorations - let him focus on the tree or the mantel decor or something -- it compliments the hostess while getting the baby out of everyone's reach. He can focus on one ornament or one candle, but not be around all the grabbing hands!

Whatver you do, don't apologize for his fussiness or for moving out of the room.

In our family- it's the household with the youngest child that gets the visitors. Just tell everyone that you are staying home because it's your little one's first holiday and you don't want to make him overtired or unhappy.
Family should understand this request and come to you. If they want to see him- they must come to your house.
I just put my foot down. It made it easier on all of us.
-S.

well i know holidays are tough but when babies are real small at 3 mths the feed off of your emotions an if they sense you are nervous they get tense so my suggestion to you is relax take a deep breath. if you find your son is not feeding well or is cranky take him for a walk or away from all the bussle of the day try and make sure he naps at his regular times. this also can give you an out to go rest yourself fall asleep in a quiet room together i loved my little cat naps at may moms when my kids were little. I fthe schedule is too much for the little guy cut out someone hate to say it but noone will fault you for it baby comes first and your sanity. have a wonderful holiday and a great first of many holidays with your little guy.... K. d mother of 13 11 8 and 20 mths

I also have a baby (four months) who will have her first christmas. I have a very large family and will also be going to my in-laws. My best suggestion is to get a sling (like the Maya wrap or Over the Shoulder Baby Holder) and keep him in it (or if no sling keep him close to you), keep him close to our bosum so he can breastfeed on demand
(this will also keep him feeling secure and comforted). Also limit his time in other peoples arms, yes I know all family members want to do is hold the new baby! unfortunately babies get overstimulated by this act alone, I know from personal experience! I learned the hard way on thanksgiving to not pass the baby around. So, get a sling (an excellent investment anyway!) and keep your baby close to you or your husband, let others play with the baby while in your arms. Good luck and happy holidays

At 3 months you should be aware of when his naptime are (probably after feeding). So I would bring your car seat in with you and put baby to sleep in it or bring your pack n play and set it up in an undisturbed bedroom and just put baby down for his naps. Just put your food down and say baby is napping or I have to go put baby down for his nap. Your the mom and knows what is best. My son was 7 months last year for Christmas, he was up most of the day and skipped one of his naps but slept soundly on the drive home. Make sure he gets a really good night's sleep, too. Good luck and happy holidays.

You need to set the rules, no one wants a crank baby..is he on a nap schedule? (my son would pass out every 3 hours..that was it) watch the nap times and take him from people to put down. They will get plenty of time with him..but also do not be too harsh or everyone will see it differently and you will come off in a bad light.

Try and roll with it, but when you can tell he is tired..take him try not to over worry as most of the ladies will have had some experience with kids ;-) but do not let them rule your house..Remember to take naps yourself you are a new mom and need your rest too!!!!!

Last Christmas my son was also 3 months old. I felt the same way you did. I hated the "pass the baby" game. My husband has a huge family and they all want us everywhere at once and to stay until the end. My advice is this....put your foot down. When you get somewhere and you know your son will need to go down for a nap in 2 hours. Let them know, we need to keave at 1:00 for nap time. Another idea is to bring a monitor with you and when it is nap time take him to a quiet room have him sleep in the car seat and plug the monitor in. I found last Christmas very sressfull. My son had a touch of exzema (sp?) and by the time everyone passed him around all wearing perfume and different laundry detergent his entire forehead was inflamed like you wouldn't believe. I freaked out and we left and went home. (that was Christmas Eve) No one messed with "Mama" Christmas Day. We are staying home this year to let our 14 month old play with his toys and have nap time in his crib. The family is coming to us.
Good luck and stay strong!