Holiday Arrangements....

Hi A.,

When I was young, we would celebrate all holiday's on that day. We even celebrated Christmas Eve!! These holiday's we celebrated with my parents' brothers and sisters and all of there children (my cousins) It was great!! As all of the cousins grew and met potential spouses it was too difficult and a large group of people so we started to rent a hall about a week before a holiday everyone brings a dish and every year a different family hosts' the party. On say Christmas, just immediate family gets together because all of my mom's children have children and so do her brothers and sisters. My mother-in-law is very gracious in having all her children the day before or after a holiday and it works out for everyone and there is no stress about trying to make everyone happy trying to see everyone in one day especially when you have small children. We tried and it was a living hell!! As far a gifts, we only do gifts at Christmas and anyone over 18years can bring a grab bag gift of something related to Christmas (towels, figurines,ornaments) anyone with children put their kids name into a hat and you pull as many names as the amount of children you have (i have 4 kids so i pull 4 different names) Santa visits us and helps pass out the gifts. The kids all have fun and so do the adults. Everyone helps clean up and it is very enjoyable. I hope this helps you and just remember it is the time you get to spend with your family that counts!!!

A.... I come from a divorced family so we had to be flexable and able to compromise from a very young age (5). I have come to understand that the holidays are not about the actual day, but who you're with and what you're celebrating. Just think of how sad you'd be if you were so rigid and missed out on the joy from the celebration by focusing on the calendar. This will be even more important as your children have children.
ps.. my mother passed away 5yrs ago.. she never met her grandchildren and missed my wedding by one month. I'm sure she wouldn't care about the date involved.. just the loved ones surrounding her. Open your heart and head to something not necessarily within your control.

We have responded to the challenge by rotating the location of the major holidays. In my husbands family, hosting a holiday event is a martiarchal honor. So on the day of the holiday the family converges at one home. Understanding the need for each individual family to create their own traditions and to visit with in-laws, the expectation of attendace at all family gatherings does not exist. You come when you can.
That said here is how that played out over the past year for us in a practical manner.
Thanksgiving was at my house, in-laws came to us.
Christmas was at the in-laws, with a stop by my godsister's place which is on the way.
I hosted New Year's Eve with many family & friends.
Epiphany dinner was at my mother's place.
Easter was at my home with my mother joining us.
Mother's day was at my husband's grandmother's place and all of his cousins were there.
Sister-in-law is due to host Thanksgiving and her family will combine with her husbands (our family).

It's really just a matter of sittign down to decide what matters most to you about each holiday. sometimes big is great, but sometimes creatign a tradition of your own on your own is really great too.