Holding My Daughter Back in 3Rd Grade and Visual Processing Disorder

My best friend is holding back her daughter this year and having her repeat third grade. They moved her to a private school to do it so it would be easier for her. It's still early in the school year, but there aren't any arguments about homework and she seems to be happier, so that's good!

Good luck! It's so hard and always a personal decision.

-M

Hi,
I did not hold my son back and I really wish I would have. He struggled all the way through school. He went to summer school every year. Grades were not good. It was a constant battle!!! He "graduated" from high school last year, not with his class in summer school by the skin of his teeth. Once you hit high school there is no holding back (I tried), they continue to let you go on. It may seem tough now but it will just get harder if you don't react now.
Good Luck!

I have an almost 7-year-old son who has an IEP and I was the one who ended figuring out his problem. The schools are overwhelmed, and they are not versed in the unusual learning disabilities that few have (my son has auditory processing disorder which is as unusual as a visual processing disorder).

I would strongly recommend you take your daughter to an optometrist or opthalmologist who specializes in visual issues in children. We took our son to Anne Simon in Torrance (http://annesimonmd.com/) to rule out any visual problems. Also, The Learning Gym (http://www.learninggymusa.com) in Manhanttan Beach does an excellent screening of learning issues, including visual issues, and they could tell you if you need to investigate further.

I have to tell you, I suspected auditory processing disorder in my son for nearly a year before we got the final diagnosis. Before I suspected it he had been in special ed for 3 years and NOBODY mentioned that it might be a possibility. These are teachers and aides who specialize in special ed, and they didn't even pick up on it. When our son was mainstreamed, the school's IEP team was adamant that I was wrong. They flat out told me they had tested him and he showed no signs of APD. But my intuition kept telling me I was right, they were wrong. In the end, my intuition did prove accurate when an audiologist confirmed he not only had APD, he had it pretty severely. And on the a side note -- my son passed every school and pediatrician hearing test since birth, but when we took him to an audiologist, he was found to have a mild hearing loss. The schools and pediatricians aren't specialists.

The moral of the story is... don't give up. No matter what the school tells you, even if it's the school psychologist or a special ed teacher, if your intuition says otherwise, follow your intuition. I have spoken to so many moms who have walked the same path, and if they had not followed their intuition, their kid wouldn't have gotten help.

One final note, get yourself a copy of The Mislabeled Child by Drs. Eide. This book goes through every single learning disability, including visual processing disorders, and it also will tell you the ones that look the same, so you'll know what to test for. These two neuroscientists specialize in dyslexia. This book helped me figure out what was going on with my son.

Sorry I don't have any advice about holding a child back. Haven't gotten to that age yet. :-)

Best of luck,
B.

what i like to do it get a workbook from a learning store or Costco, etc for the upcoming grade level during the summer. my son is in first grade now so we did a first grade workbook over last summer. we just did one page per day. that way i was able to have time to explain everything to him and make sure he understood everything. now in first grade everything is review for him. you may consider getting a workbook to work with your daughter yourself on the weekends right now for her current grade level and do a few pages per day. you will have more time on the weekend to explain things to her one on one and see yourself where she is struggling than a teacher will have with a class full of kids. i also use sticker charts and rewards to get him to do it. or i tell him he can't watch tv or play until we do the one page. usually i do one workbook page of math and on page of English... also i have him read one small book to me every night before bed then i read one book to him. good luck.

L.

Where did you have the assessments done? You should request that the school assess her. I am guessing that it was NOT the school that tested her because schools do not test for dyslexia and you mentioned that was part of what she was tested for (that is a neurological thing that a doctor diagnoses).

Anyway, she needs to be tested by the school psychologist at her school. You may find that she qualifies for Special Education services or at least accommodations in the classroom. If she does have a visual processing disorder that would show up in the school psych's testing.

Usually, a school's decision to test a student comes after a year or so of the student struggling and several meetings where they come up with interventions to try out. Then as team, you and the school decide to move forward with assessment. You really don't have to wait for that though, as a parent you could send a letter to your childs school (to the school psych) requesting that they do a full educational assessment on your daughter. By law they have to honor that.

If it was in fact the school that tested her the first time around, when was that? How long ago? Did she come close to qualifying? All of the results should have been fully explained to you.

I am a counselor in Public school (I've worked elementary in the past but now middle) so that is where this info is coming from. If you go to a private school it may work a little differently but your rights are the same. I would start with contacting the counselor or school psychologist at your daughter's school.

Generally speaking, how well a child reads and does in/by third grade is a prediction of their academic success in the future- that being said, I would ensure my child is successful in 3rd grade (even if it takes a second try). Being held back is hard in 3rd grade-- but even worse as a 5th, 6th, 7th or 8th grader (and by high school it is probably too late).

It may take your child longer to "get it", but the important thing is that she truly "gets it" before she moves on. Elementary school requires that children learn fundamentals or a foundation on which every year builds on what they know. If the foundation is weak-- everything built on top of it will be weak as well.

I spent years tutoring a teaching prep classes (to prepare students for the next grade, college etc.) and the most difficult child to help, is the one who does not understand the basic principles of reading, writing, adding, multiplying etc. (i.e. you can not teach a child algebra if he doesnt know how to multiply or divide). I encourage you to get your child tested again (second opinions) and to hold her back if she is behind... it will benefit her for the rest of her life.

Good luck to you and your child.

my first question is: is she younger than most kids in her grade? my second question is: have you had her tested for auditory processing disorder? My daughter struggled all through school, she is in 9th grade now. We also wanted to hold her back, but did not. We had her tested for ADD, turns out she had an auditory processing disorder, not ADD. (something the school insisted she had). Which explained why she was not doing well in school. She is also a younger student then most kids in her grade level. Which I feel hurt her as well because schools keep raising the bar for achievments for the state testing. Once we found this out we were then able to get a 504 from the school district. (FYI-Being younger does not help with the 504 but the disorder does.)You have to request a 504 plan from your school. A 504 plan requires the school to accomodate your daughter to help her succeed in school. A school is also required to do the testing on your daughter once you put in the request. A 504 along with your support will help her succeed in school. No matter which disorder she may have or not, request a 504 for her. It will help. My daughter is now doing excellent in school. It was a lot of work, but the end result is worth it. I hope this helps.

I was held back in 3rd grade (because I was younger than everyone and not at the same level socially as the other kids, according to my parents). I barely remember it. It had no effect on me socially or psychologically and everything worked out absolutely fine - I went on to college, graduate school, and now I'm a full-time working lawyer and married mom of 2 boys. If you have any thoughts on holding her back, I think now is the time to do it. Hope this helps and good luck with your decision.
Best,
R.

Dear G.,
As a reading specialist, I will take an educated guess that your daughter possibly has dyslexia. Studies show the visual and auditory parts of the brain do not coordinate properly for dyslexics. Thus learning phonics based reading is extremely difficult if not impossible. They learn better by sight reading which takes more energy and longer to learn how to read. Studies also show reading interventions only work if done an extra 4 to 5 hours a week. My suggestion would be to read a book of her choice to her every night before bed. Have her read all the words she knows, and the ones she doesn't you tell her the whole word. Read this same book every night, and by the end of the week she will recognize many more words than when you began.
She will need this for years if you want to make a change in her life. However, studies also show, holding a child back for reading doesn't help, in fact, yes, they feel bad about themselves because they were expected to learn the same way they failed at before.
Good luck,
Wendy

Yes, get her tested for a visual processing disorder. WHO actually did the special ed/ dyslexia testing? The school can't make medical dx and doesn't want to say she has a learning disorder because they can't afford the special ed services they already have to provide for other kids.

The fact that she made improvement in 2nd grade may be what the school is using to say she isn't learning disabled. To qualify for special ed, there needs to be a discrepancy between the child's potential and their current ability level. If a child is just mentally below average, but not w/ an IQ low enough to be called mentally retarded, they don't qualify for special ed even if school/life will always be hard/too hard for them. (won't go into the politics there)

As far as retention, yes it would have been better to retain in first, but we can't go back in time. Now think --- is it better to retain in 3rd or keep passing her on until she gets to high school (I teach HS) and she is so defeated that she calls her self stupid and won't try anymore and never graduates -- I see it all the time. I'm not saying retention is the answer, but if it is warranted, do it now before it is too late.

As far as testing for Visual Processing Disorder -- if that is the case, then she would qualify for special services --- ie having her work on AUDIO -- using one of those digital recorders --- she could have test read to her --- she could have alternate assignments. All these things could impact future requirements in high school. Be persistent w/ testing.

Hold her back now! My son was in special ed until the end of third grade. The school district misdiagnosed his true learning problem and he went into fourth grade unprepared and ill equipted. He finally did repeat 8th grade, AT HIS OWN REQUEST. He was just a couple of weeks from the age cut off for his class and he would have started high school at 13. He wasn't ready for high school. The extra year in 8th grade was a blessing in disguise for him. He took different classes and repeated one. He grew four inches and his social skills improved. If you think that your daughter will have social problems enroll her in another school nearby. Kids at the elementary level really don't think that much about grade level. Middle school is different. Give her the time she needs to mature . Also don't take the school district's word on anything. They totally screwed up my kid's diagnosis. We finally found out what was his problem at 19. He had an underlying condition that was masked by a medical problem. FIrst of all, ask for a second opinion from a psychologist who specializes in learning disabilities OUTSIDE the school district. If you get any flack, contact your Regional Center. You may have to hire a lawyer. There are several who do pro bono work in this field. You must fight for your daughter. If you think I am angry with my school district, you are right. But my son turned out okay as an adult and he is in his last year of college. But have her repeat 3rd grade is a lot better that trying to do it later.

Dear G.,
I work as an instructional aid in Resource and love the work that we do with the students. Having her tested for visual processing is fine. If they offer resource at her school check with the teacher to have her tested. They will pick up on the problems that she is having and may be able to give her the extra help she needs. During resource time the child is pulled from the their regular classroom and they come to the resource classroom for one on one or small group setting 3 - 5 kids to one adult. Sometimes they are able to learn better in small group than in the larger classroom time. Math and language arts are worked on during these times. You may have to have her tested and then request an IEP. Check with her teacher.

Also about holding her back. It is easier on the child to do it during the primary grades K, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, than in the upper grades 4th, 5th, and 6th. The classroom size takes a dramatic jump when they reach 4th and it can really set them back. If this is the year to decide make sure you have checked into all the options, like resource, and see if she is able to get the extra help she needs.

I hope this was helpful! Good luck! Sounds like she has a loving mom who wants to do the best for her!
~~D.

Hi G., I would not hold her back. I finished at the low end of every year on the low end as well,in fourth grade I was tested for many things as well, and the conclusion was that I had a learning dissability, so for 5th and 6th grade I went part day to my regular class and part of the day with tutor the same thing with junior high and high school. I was never held back, the school wanted me too, but my parents wanted me to go through school and graduate with my friends, I did I struggled a lot but I am happy they made that decision, I grew up got married have 3 children, and run my own business, I do not believe I any longer have a learning disability, if you treat her, different or like she does have a disability, she will have one, but if you let her go through school, the struggling may teach her to be fighter like it did me, and she may just come out on top, I feel I did. Hope this helped some. J.

I had my son repeat 3rd grade with the same teacher and it worked out great.

Before you do something so drastic, get her an educational assessment - I suggest calling the Child Success Center in Santa Monica. If she has processing issues of any kind they will identify them and then set her up with an ed therapist to give her tools. It might be visual processing, it might be something else - focus, attention, memory issues, among others. Instead of picking at this piecemeal, she needs comprehensive testing. It is costly, but very worth it, and she will feel supported. Whatever the assessment, share it with the teachers and ask to involve the resource teacher at the school. Good luck!

My husband had disorders with his eyes and he was the same as your daughter: worked really hard and ended up being a mediocre student. Somehow he made it through engineering school, but when he wanted to go to grad school, his GMAT test scores were so poor the he could not get in. The guidance counselors there told him that he should be tested for learning disorders. Turns out that his eyes did not move smoothly across the page when he read, causing him to skip words and re-read others so he did not understand or retain anything he was reading. He found a doctor who specializes in visual disorders and he finished graduate school.

Now my daughter (7yrs old)is undergoing visual therapy and hopefully we will correct any problems she has before it affects her in school. We live in Hawaii, so I can't help you find a specialist in your area, but I'm sure there are some that can help you. Start with an eye doctor and some learning centers that offer reading therapy and other tutoring services. Keep looking until you find someone who can say "I know what is wrong and I know how to help her." My daughter underwent a 4 hour test to determine the correct path for her therapy. Oh, and by the way, none of this is covered by insurance. I think it will cost us about $3000 by the time she is finished, but this is an investment in her future, so we are willing to pay. Good luck to you and your daughter.

The jump from third grade to fourth grade is huge! In fourth grade, there are usually more students and the Teacher does not have the same amount of time to give one-on-one or even small group attention. By fourth grade, the children are expected to have mastered the concepts and a lot more material is presented. Teachers in the upper grades focus more on the content instead of the delivery. (They do not tailor lessons to meet the needs of individual children.) The pace is much faster. A child's reading level at the end of third grade, is a big factor in how they will do in school academically. I would definatley consider holding her back. Talk to her about it and make sure she feels good about it. She will probably be more confident reeating third grade. I would also look into getting her a tutor for some additional one-on-one help. Good luck.

Hello, Let me just say that it is never too late to do the right thing. Our son was in fifth grade until I got someone to listen and help him by holding him over. It should have been done earlier. However, he didn't start getting behind until third grade. That teacher didn't see the problem. The fourth grade one wasn't interested and thought he needed to be on medication. I never got the district to test him and I worked there. He became so far behind that it felt overwhelming to him. We were having him tutored in some areas and it just wasn't helping. He is now 39, so I am sure that the districts are more aware of the importance to each child that they be placed where they can excel.
I would have her VPD testing done, even if you think you have done it already. It won't hurt and can at least rule out that possibility. Is there a chance that she could attend another school? Maybe by moving her, she won't have the stygma attached to being held back. She will learn, just at her level.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

Hi G.,
That's a smart tutor you have. I was diagnosed with a Visual Perception problem when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I would end up reading the same line in my reading material all the time. It was so frustrating and I struggled tramendously during my school years. I ended up doing my Math work on graph paper, and that REALLY helped me. Try that for your daughter. I did grow out of it eventually. As I got older (junior high)I learned a trick to keep my eyes focused, such as holding a piece of blank paper under the line I was reading. I am an avid reader and it doesn't effect me at all. (I no longer need that paper as a guide)
I hope I gave you a few suggestions you can use. Take care!

I actualy have some experiance with this one. We held our son back in the 4th grade, and it was the hardest decision we ever made. The results for him were great! He is a freshmen in HS now and he has much more confidence and is a much better student. He wasn't just behind when he was in the 4th grade he was overwelmed with school. My daughder is below her grade level in reading, but I don't think holding her back would work as well, I think it would be devistating for her socialy. My advice to you would be if you are going to do it, the younger the better, and make sure it is with a really good teacher. It sounds like you liked her 2nd grade teacher, so this may be the time to do it. This is such a hard thing for a parent, if you have any more questions, I would be happy to visit with you about our experiance, you can email me ____@____.com Good luck!

As a former teacher I would suggest holding her back and continue with the testing until you have exhausted all possibilities. I taught 4th-9th grade and I KNOW the humiliation that a child faces in middle school when they are called to read and can't do so without stuttering or stammering... or when asked a simple question and it takes them longer to process than their classmates. Now is the time to hold her back before she gets any older. At that age forget about the whole social stuff... that does not fully develop until junior high anyways. They make new friends and enemies every day at your daughter's age. I'm not saying that it won't sting or that no one will make comments, but they will make MORE comments later in life. Why have her struggle and risk her HATING school, possibly becoming a delinquent... or having her in a continuation school? Why not have her enjoy success? I also think she is old enough to be asked of her opinion. She may actually CHOOSE to stay behind if she is presented with all of the options. Just never know... she may be very unhappy and feeling the pressures of not being able to perform at a young age.
I made it all the way through school and in to college before anyone even thought I had a learning disability. I read at a 5th grade pace as I pronounce EVERY word on EVERY page in my head. However, I write and speak very well so it slipped by undetected. My family just thought I was being lazy from time to time and that firm discipline would fix it... well never did, but I struggled with anything that required comprehension because I would have to read and re-read things. Took me forever to do homework... you get the picture... it wasn't fun or pretty. And the only reason I found out was because I was trying to double major in Psychology and English in college and could not keep up with the reading assignments. In fact, I struggled with one major and it has taken me forever to return to school to get my master's degree.... a little different than what your daughter is facing right now, but in the same sense I can see where it would become what I have gone through.
Good luck!

Hi G., have you had your daughter evaluated by an occupational therapist? If her vision is impeding her learning, she may be a candidate for OT. Vision is under the scope of practice of occupational therapists. You can start with requesting an OT evaluation at your school. From my understanding it is free and if your daughter needs OT services, it may be provided at your school and you will start getting IEP's with your teacher and therapist.
Good luck and stay strong! M.

You might want to have her vision tested (not just for glasses but for vision therapy.) Our granddaughter has a lazy eye and vision therapy has been a great help. She scored Advanced and Proficient on her CST exams last spring. This is a great improvement. Dr. Tong on Rosemead Blvd., Temple City is an expert in this area.

My daughter has auditory processing disorder. She struggled terribly through third grade without any offer from the school to determine what her problem was. Finally I educated myself and made a formal request that she be tested for EVERYTHING. If your daughter is struggling to that degree then a school psychologist should be able to explain why.

It is her right under the law to receive an appropriate education. If she has a learning disability, like visual processing disorder, then she is entitled to appropriate education to help her. If the school tested her and couldn't find anything wrong, and you are convinced there is something wrong, it is your right to have her tested by an independent educational specialist at school district expense.

I have attended classes and am quite familiar with the laws. My daughter finally started receiving the help she needed in fourth grade, and is now an honor student in high school, but it has been difficult for me to deal with the guilt that I should have done something for her earlier.

I would be very happy to give you the benefit of my experience and help you in any way I can. I can certainly explain your rights under the law and get you headed in the right direction.

You can email me at ____@____.com.
Sincerely,
J. Davis

Hi, I can relate to this in 2 ways. first, I was held back in the eighth grade after skipping the 3rd altogether. It did-not help. I spent 4 years trying to learn the basics, fractions, multiplication, and decimals. I still can't do them verry well, I think that your daughter would benefit tremendously from the repeat now as opposed to later. I left highschool after the 11th grade because I was tired of the struggle.
Second, my son has an auditory processing disorder. We struggled half way through the first grade and teachers who were just plain lazy. I decided that the best thing for my son was to homeschool him. We are doing so much better now because I can see first hand what he needs to work on and what he has had enough of. If you stay at home this may be an option for you and your daughter. I hope I could be of at least some help to you. Best wishes,
A.