Hitting - Iowa Park,TX

I don't know if you can do much if it's only happening at daycare, but as a former worker in a day care, this worked for us with a hitter...1st, teach your son "gentle" or "soft" or whatever word you want to use to associate being nice to someone. Then, stroke your cheeck with his hand and say "gentle" if he hits or pinches at home, do the same thing, grab his hand and stroke your arm and say "gentle". My 14 month old has already learned this, so a 2 year old should have no problems. The second thing would be to tell the daycare workers to make sure they are using a stern voice when they say for him to stop. We tended to say "no no, no hitting" in a sweet voice, and that just didn't cut it. We had to in a stern voice say "no hitting" and remove him immediately to a "time out" place...only for 2 minutes if he's 2, but we did have to remove him so he learned. If they start with the "gentle" approach and that doesn't work, then add the time outs.

I just wanted to disagree with the advice of spanking.i just dont see how hitting you child teaches them that it isnt ok to hit other.That just doesnt make any since to me.I agree that the daycare should put him in time out.I think most kids this age hit each other.It is because they just dont have the communication skills to talk it out yet.They express their anger by hitting or biting.Dont stress about it to much just disicpline him at home and talk to them at the daycare and see what they are doing other than that there isnt much you can do it will get better in time.it is almost garenteed that half of his class is doing the same thing.I have work a t daycare and i acutally run a small inhome daycare.i have been working with kids for many years and have a 20 month old myself.So just know that you are not alone and hang in there most of it will pass with time as long as he is disciplined and corrected when he does it.i also would make sure that he is made to apoligize to the kid that he hit.Hang in there and dont worry i am sure you are doing a great job!

Could you offer him a reward if he goes the whole day without hitting someone? Like, a special dessert after dinner or a special tv show or an extra book read at bedtime?

He has to be disciplined right after the wrong so he knows exactly what it is he has done wrong. The daycare should be putting him in time out when it happens. I don't know how old he is, but sounds very young. If you wait until you get home to punish him, it's too late. I would talk to the daycare and see what they are doing to help. If he does it at home, put him in punishment phase right away.

At that age, aggressive behavior is often temporary and can be linked to speech development. Two year olds are very smart and comprehend so much, but often they don't have the verbal skills to express themselves and so may lash out physically (such as hitting or biting).

What does your daycare do for discipline? You see, you cannot discipline him hours later . . . discipline needs to occur immediately so he links the bad behavior to the consequences. Hours later . . . he has no idea what you are talking about because he has moved on!

So you should be working with your daycare provider to determine the best course of discipline, then be consistent in applying that discipline. Remember, children learn from repetition.

As an aside, I do not believe that spanking makes any sense in this situation. Again, if his hitting is more due to communication issues, then corporal punishment will only serve to shut him down, not help him learn to deal with his frustrations.

My 2-year-old daughter's been hitting - me - a lot. I found a book at a consignment store called "Hands Are Not For Hitting" and got it in hopes that it would help. I really think it made a difference from the first reading. We read it often, and now I have the phrase to refer to. It's a board book, so it should last!

I would suggest finding something he really likes- little cars, stickers, little toys... put in a small container where he can see them.

Explain to him when you drop him off that hitting hurts and we don't hurt our friends.

make a chart for him and tell him that every time he plays with his friends he will get a smiley face on his chart... but if he hits a sad face. When he gets 3 smiley faces then you will give him a treat (something out of the small container) ... it may take a week or so for him to earn the smiley faces but be consistant.

When you pick him up, if he has hit- then explain to him that hitting is not nice and it hurts his friends- then take him to his friend and teach him to apologize.

At 2 it is training him what is right and wrong... Also if possible watch him and see why he is hitting? My oldest son kept biting kids when he was 2... then one morning I was standing there and he was quietly playing with a toy and this other little boy came up to him and started trying to take it away... I told the teacher- to look and said that is why he is biting. When they started watching for things like that he stopped biting.

A conversation will never get through to a two year old. there needs to be a consequence that really gets to him everytime it happens. maybe getting something taken away or timeout or a spanking. Something that is concrete. It would be better if you could give the consequence immediately. I don't know if your job would allow you to run up to the daycare for a few minutes to give the consequence as soon as it happens. Or maybe the daycare could work with you to come up with something they could reinforce.

And for sure if he ever hits at home you need to immediatly respond to that and take care of it at home.

i would also recommend the book shepherding a child's heart. It's a good overall resource on discipline.

I used the book "Hands are not for Hitting" and it worked like a charm for us. The author is Martine Agassi. I got a set of these at OneStepAhead.com
Best of luck!