Hey moms...I've been watching the news here in Macomb County Michigan and tomorrow they are predicting a windstorm the likes of which Michigan hasn't seen since 1998. The wind gusts are supposed to be in the 60-70 MPH range and have tornado-like force. In Macomb County (I'm not sure how it is elsewhere) when wind exceeds 60 MPH, they sound the tornado alert system...its actually now modified to let people know that winds are high enough to cause tornado type damage. That piercing siren will be blaring all day, or so they predict. The problem is this....my five year old is PETRIFIED beyond belief of tornados (and the high winds that come with them). In preschool last year they discussed tornado drills and I think went in to a little too much detail during the talk about how deadly tornados can be. Since that time, he is on constant alert when its been particularly windy....He was once at preschool when the tornado siren sounded and he completely freaked out. His teacher's assistant had to take him in the bathroom, sit on the floor with him, and hold him until the siren stopped. He insisted that they had to go in there to be safe (as they had been taught previously) and was completely inconsolable.
Now that he's in kindergarten, I know with this predicted storm tomorrow, he will likely have the same reaction. I've already emailed his K teacher to let her know his likely reaction. But my question is, do I maybe just keep him home....not that it will be any easier for him at home, but at the very least, he won't disrupt the entire class. I know that letting him stay home during this might be counter productive and only reinforce that there's something to be terrified of, but I'm not sure what else to do. In the past, if I've even mentioned that it might be REALLY windy out, he spends the whole day fretting about it endlessly. Do I maybe just wait and see if his teacher would like me to come get him if it gets really bad?? I'm completely at a loss as to what to do.....Any ideas?? These windstorms aren't predicted to get really bad until between 11:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.
Thanks in advance for your advice.
Thanks to all the moms that responded! I did send him to school (because forecasts CAN be wrong) but emailed his teacher before I went to bed last night to give her a heads up and let her know she can surely call me if he needs to come home. I didn't mention any of it to him this a.m. and avoided the news this morning so he wouldn't hear it and start worrying. He's caught that kind of info on the news in the past and started to stress out immediately, so I knew it was probably better to avoid it.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll be so busy today that he won't really notice. His teacher is so compassionate and said she'll do whatever she can to help him cope but will give me a call if he's upset and can't be consoled.
UPDATED!!! Its actually funny...I was so worried FOR him and the storm ended up not being too bad at all. They made such a big deal out of it and it turned out to be just a minor little blip on the radar. LOL Glad that I sent him to school! They also had a tornado drill at school, just in case. His teacher emailed me to let me know that he did GREAT and had very little fear (and no tears) at all. I was such a proud momma and made such a big deal of how brave he was when he got home from school, as well as letting him know that his teacher sent me a "special" email just to let me know that she was so impressed too.
I guess he's finally hit that turning point where he's just ok with it all now. A month ago, when he had a complete meltdown, I wouldn't have been so sure that he'd be ok. But now my son has taught ME that I need to have a little more confidence in his coping skills!
Thanks once again to al the moms that responded and all of the suggestions (and to Shira for reminding me to update—even if I am using the same response right now that I sent to you LOL) I love how sincere and caring many of the moms are here!
Send him....as someone else pointed out, he may react differently now than in preschool. He has better coping skills now.
D.,
Welcome to the world of an anxious child. My son is very similar to yours; a very detailed imagination and thinks anything bad that happens in the world will happen to him. Swimming lessons this summer were amazingly stressful, but we got through it and you will get through this too.
I've been reading a book called "Freeing your Child from Anxiety" by Tamar Chansky. She said talking about the fear in small doses and helping your child compare their fear to reality will help them to learn how to cope with scary situations. She has many techniques to help your son learn how to control that part of his brain.
Your son may be locked in a fear cycle. He hears the sirens and his fear immediately tells him a tornado will come out of the sky and hurt him. He may know in his mind that this is not the case, but he doesn't know how to tell his fear to take a hike.
I would recommend checking out a couple of weather books from the library and talk with your son about tornadoes. Discuss his fears (he may not have the vocabulary to go in depth to what scares him, but he may surprise you). Then work out a plan that you both can practice when this situation arises again. It won't get better in a day or even a week, but you will see progress as you both start working on a baby-step plan to help him overcome the worry part of his brain.
For swimming lessons the three of us (myself, my husband, and our son) worked on a number of techniques. My son was afraid of drowning. First I had him draw two drawings; one was a picture of the evil worry brain (the part of him that over reacts to scary situations) and then he drew a picture of a hero Super Calm. Then on the back of the worry brain picture I had him write down all of his fears about swimming. On the back of the Super Calm picture we wrote down the reality to each of his fears.
One of my son's fears was he would sink to the bottom of the pool and stay there forever and never come back up. But, the reality is, he can float if he learns how to relax.
We also worked to desensitize him to his fears. My slowly taking him into deeper and deeper water over time and playing with him in the deeper water his reality brain was given proof that he wouldn't drown immediately when he couldn't touch the bottom of the pool. This proof was more ammunition he could use against the worry part of his brain.
The desensitization process was not easy and we were met with crying, negotiating, temper tantrums, and straight out refusal. We had to harden our hearts and make him try swimming in the deeper part of the pool even though he didn't want to. Now, he loves to swim and isn't as afraid of the deep part. He will even float on a floaty chair in the deep end of the pool instead of sitting on the side of the shallow end and only putting his feet in. We had to show him how to be brave before he was able to be brave on his own.
C. J.
This may be too late. But I would send him to school Just let the teacher know that if he starts to have too many issues that he can't overcome that you will come get him. By letting him stay home you are teaching him that there is something to fear. Besides, forecasts can be wrong and the wind might not be as bad. Good luck, I'm sure he will be fine.
I know this is a little late in coming but just thought I would share anyway as I went through this with my son many years ago. He is 22 now. I found that the more I could remain calm and normal the more my children would. Children watch Mom and Dad for their cues and pick up on our anxiety, so even though the sirens are wailing and the wind is about to take off the roof, don't let them know you are afraid and just matter-of-factly get them to safety without letting on you are terrified. When children are very little they don't need to know details about what is going to happen that day with the weather, unless of course it is going to rain or snow and they need to put on their boots and hat and gloves. Tornados? I don't think so. If a child is young enough to be under the constant supervision of an adult they do not need to be burdened with details. It is only when kids get older and are starting to venture out a little on their own that they need to be made aware of the hazards of the weather. Just my opinion but I believe that we shouldn't put adult fears into young children, that will come soon enough.
Even still, when the wind is blowing a gale and the thunder and lightening can't be ignored kids will get scared. When I was young and very terrified of storms the one thing that always calmed me down was my sister playing the piano, sometimes she would do it by candle light, but it always calmed my anxiety. I suggest calm music for the little ones to sooth them and get their minds off the weather outside. I believe that we should try to make them see severe weather as part of nature, not so much to be feared as to be respected, prepared for, and even observed from a safe place.
S.
I have a 5th grader and she started tripping this morning i had to be firm even though my heart broke. U have to be firm this is something they have to deal with. I would have him go to school it will help keep his mind off of it. By the time school ends you may want to pick him up if you can to make sure things stay calm. I think he will be fine. But you follow your gut on what you think is right i am going to see if i canget to her instead of coming home on the bus.
Hi, I'm also in Macomb. I would send him but keep a close eye on the weather. If it starts getting bad or if they sound sirens, I'd go to school to check on him. Are you allowed to go have lunch with him?
I probably wouldn't mention anything about it. You don't want him to worry himself into a panic. You sound like a really good mom, I'm sure you'll do what's best for him.
EDIT: wood tv is saying sustained winds of 40mph from 8a today until 8p wednesday night, with gusts up to 70. Storm is to hit Grand haven about 9 and GR about 9.30. Says most storms should be passed by 11.
I am over in Ottawa county, and they are saying between 9 and 11 the storms are hitting here ,and at 6a, we are already with winds around 40, and they said in st joseph they are hitting 70. If knowing that's what it is like already and its going to be that way, i might opt to keep him home. They are already closing schools, and yours might be one of them. You could always tell him school is closed so he has to stay home, wether it is or not, and help him get through the day. You can talk to him and show him different ways to handle the storm.
I think that if you do keep him home, DON"T comment about the wind unless he does through out the day. If you continue to do things through out the day, and don't let the weather affect you at all, he might pick up on what yo uare doing, and see tht it isn't anything to be scared bout. He may freak out, because the school is changing their routine. Yes they have good reason but that is affecting him.
I don't know if you saw but we are under tornado watch ALL day. This storm is supposed to stay this strong and windy until wednesday night as well.
Good luck.
i wouldn't keep him home. he is older now and may react differently in a kindergarten classroom than he did at preschool. his teacher is aware of the situation and will call you if there is a real reason for him to be home.
or maybe instead of bringing him home, you could go to school with him. (or tell his teacher to call you if he needs you.)
the storm could happen after school, really, with that time slot... and you never know what the weather will REALLY do until it happens.
good luck! :)
I would send him and go get him if he starts to freak out. Try telling him over and over that the sirens are going to go off, but there are NO tornados -just really strong winds blowing and that he's going to be okay! Just be prepared to get him.
Have you tried to explain the difference
between a practice alert and the real thing?
Have you considered asking him which he would prefer.
That there might be a siren at school today.
Everybody will be safe and school is just about the safest place to be.
Would you like me to be there to be with you
while the siren is making noise?
Or can you be with your classmates and listen to the siren together
and know that you'll all be safe together.
Etc.
