High School Football

Unless your son is in physical danger, I would not talk to the coach. If you think a high school football coach is too tough, wait until he's drafted by a college team and then perhaps a professional team. Talk to your son, if he feels he's being mistreated, he should speak to his coach. Perhaps the coach sees more potential in your son's ability then other players and he's trying to draw it out. You may not like his methods, but it's up to your son to take or leave it.

Blessings.....

The JV coaches, and the other team member had your son's back. Your son received positive feedback from the JV coaches and the other team member, tell him to remember that and not the coach's yelling rampage. Everyone knew the coach made an a** of himself. I'd say let the coach yell, other people have your son's back, everyone knows what a jerk the coach is, and maybe your son will find something positive out of the coach's yelling rampage to better himself. Good luck to your son on the rest of this year's football season.

Just seeing the other side here---maybe, MAYBE the coach sees something special in your son and holds him to higher standards? Maybe he thinks he needs to adapt better to changing circumstances? I wouldn't say anything. Your son is old enough to take the other comments to heart as well as his coach's comments.

Wait until the season is over unless it happens over and over! Do talk to your son, and explain that the coach was probably taking his frustration out on him! Even though it's not right, it is a learning experience for your son. Life is not fair and never will be! Teach your son to be the bigger man, and forgive, as often as possible. It starts with you and your spouse first. Be ready to hear some not so friendly language in the bleachers, even about your kid sometimes- Remember- it's only a Game!!!!( I'm a Mom of 3 boys)

I say dont talk to the coach about yelling at your son- support your son instead that he is doing a good job. Explain teh coach being under pressure, and then buy your son a sweet football collectable from Steiner Sports to show him your proud of his effort this season. I think you cant talk the coach out of coaching, and sometimes someone takes the heat for the loss- this time it was your son. Relax, and rethink your appraoch- support your son- hes the only one you can change/influence.

Cool football gifts to get him: http://www.steinersports.com/football

I would tell you son that coaches do that sometimes, tell him to blow it off, and let it go. If it happens again, your son should talk to him after the adrenaline has went back to a normal level (like the next day before or after practice).

Do not talk to the coach! a) Your son is old enough to handle things b) the coach probably sees potential and wants to get the most out of your son and c) there will be times in life when he has to take his lumps. That being said, I'm a mama bear too, and I know it will be hard! Your son has the choice not to join the team next season.

This is a great life lesson for your son. Some people are just jerks and misdirect their anger. I would let your son approch his coach if he feels a need, but unless there is a pattern of this behavior I would chalk it up to a man having a bad day coaches are human and make errors too.

I would talk to the coach after the season is over or have your son talk to the coach to try and understand why this was occurring by providing points of what he did do right. Stay out of the way because you do not want your son to be singled out or benched for the last game. The coach may have told your son to do something different and could have thought that he wasn't paying attention to him.

Every coach has their own way of coaching. If your son didn't like it, he should talk to the coach and let him know how he thrives when he needs correction, or even just talk about the situation - what did he do wrong because he wants to improve. I would NOT talk to the coach as a parent. I had a great coach and she had her way. She did her fair share of yelling, but we were good.

Talk to him now, in private, and express your concerns. Be courteous.

Also, be aware that you only have the facts that you observed and that you have constructed a story in your mind about what happened, which iswhat you are reacting to. Before you arrive at any firm conclusions about the matter or react emotionally to him, seek to establish the facts as he understands them and his reason for his behavior. You will then be in a much more reasonable position to discuss the incident with him. Seek first to understand then to be understood. You can then determine more accurately if there is a problem and if so, how it should be dealt with.

Golly, I thought yelling was part of a coach's job description. Did he hit? Was he cussing or just being loud?

You don't mention whether your son was upset about the coach talking to him. If he isn't, then let it go. If he is, then why isn't he having a conference with the coach? You need to be encouraging him to handle such things on his own - with the coach or with any other teacher at the school who gets on his case about something. As parents, you're his cheerleaders - but you have to cheer further and further back, so to speak, as he learns to handle his own challenges.

For what it's worth, sometimes a good coach will be harder on the better players. That's because those players will understand what they're being told. The coach may not bother so much with the ones who are not expert enough to understand. But he might talk to the ones who have the capability of taking the correction and doing something with it. (I had an English teacher like that once, and I thought I never did ANYTHING right. I really resented it until I got a year older and realized what she'd actually done for me. And when some parents wanted the teacher fired for being too hard, those of us who had already been in her class rose to her defense.)

I say leave it alone. Your son is in HS now...he is gonna have to start fighting his own battles! He only has 31/2 more years until he is expected to be an adult and handle ALL his own stuff...you should let him start now!

I played several sports in HS and have had the occasional cranky coach...I have been yelled at, it didn't scar me any. IMO, your son will be fine and doesn't need his Mommy or Daddy going and talking to the coach about why he was being so mean to their son.

Let your son handle this one on his own mom. . . he doesn't need a "helicopter parent." In the big scheme of things this is just a minor life lesson. He needs to start handling these problems on his own before going away to college. My friend is a college professor and has parents calling her about issues their kid is having in her class. Can you imagine? Your son needs to learn how to handle these kind of issues by himself and this is a great opportunity!

Talk to the coach now. If you let it go on and fester it will be to late for the Head coach to handle. Glad your son is enjoying football!!

If the team is 2 and 4 the coach is dealing with bigger problems than yours. I would advise against approaching him before the end of the season. After the end of the season try just asking him what your son has been doing that bothers him and how he can imporve over the summer. I bet he won't even remember the incident. An aggresive, acusatory approach will get you and your son nowhere. Been there, done that.

I know I would've had that animal instinct to go rip that guy a new one! We are mama lions protecting our cubs. However, valuable lessons beyond our comprehnsion are being taught. Sometimes we have to sit on our hands and let him be a part of a man's world. He wasn't physically harmed he just got wrongly chewed out. DO NOT get in the middle of that. You aren't always going to be around to rescue him. These are character building times. He's going to have bosses like that one day. ANd besides, think it all the way through to the end. What is going to happen the next day. Do you think they will treat your baby boy with kid gloves because you are upset? Or is it more likely that they will ride his butt like never before for being a mammas boy.

The one thing I know is when my brother, husband, and nephews all played/play football, I had to always sit where I couldn't see the coach for this very reason. The sport is VERY amped and the coaches seem to scream, yell and carry on all the time and it drives me crazy. My brother told me just recently actually that this is part of football and that's why it's not for everyone. You just have to toughen up and suck it up.

Now that being said, it sounds like your son's coach was way out of line but it doesn't sound like it happens often. He may have just made a mistake or maybe he saw something in your son that he wanted to improve and it had nothing to do with how he was doing his job. My husband actually said that coaching the really good players is harder because you want to ride them all the time to make them better.

You didn't mention how this made your son feel or if he wants you to talk to the coach? To tell you the truth as a good JV freshman player, I think your son needs to be the one to talk to the coach about it, not mommy and daddy. He is perfectly old enough and mature enough to get to the bottom of this situation. From your post, it sounds like a one time thing, but if your son is actually being bullied from this coach then that would be different and you need to step in.

One last thing to remember is, he has one game left, and then next year to look forward too. If he is that good, he probably will move to Varsity anyways and not have to deal with the guy again.

Truly it sounds like this guy was just out of line in this instance, people make mistakes. I would let it go.

Leave it alone. Just let your son know you saw it and you figure the Coach was having a bad moment. If your son is in High School, he needs to handle these situations on his own..

My nephew is an amazing football player.. He is a sophomore and was quarter back on the Varsity team this year.. until an injury has sidelined him.. He is a good kid, that knows that Coaches are under a lot of pressure.

I have told him it takes everything in my power not to run on the field when he is injured and also not speak my mind to his Coach.. He just laughs and says "do not worry about me Aunt L... it is just a game and I am ok.."

I would NOT say anything to the coach, as he may just single out your son for more punishment later. If he- a grown man- is immature enough to blame a 16 year old kid for his own coaching failures, it sounds like he wouldn't hesitate to take it out on him again if you try to get him in trouble or confront him.

Instead I would use this as a teaching moment for your son: In life, you will always have bosses, coaches, teachers, professors,etc. who will not be pleased with you or not like you or something that you do. In many situations, there will be nothing you could do differently. You cannot change other people- you can only control how you behave- no matter if the situation is fair or not.

Praise your son for keeping his cool and showing his coach respect even if the man didn't deserve it at that moment. Let him know that he has your support always- and that if something like this happens again, you want to know about it.

Keep an eye on the situation- if it was a one-time thing and the coach just blew off his steam on YOUR kid, that's one thing. But if he continues to single your son out for negative attention, I talk to your son first and see if he thinks you should talk to the coach. You don't want to put your son in an awkward position, so find out how he feels about it first.

I wouldn't get involved in talking to the coach, if your son didn't like how he was talked to, then he needs to be the one to talk to him. If the parents get involved that would put a mark on your son and then he may not play as much and really get treated differently. If you son has a problem, he needs to pick his battles and take care of the situation, not you. Good luck.