Hey Moms

Take a breath and don't freak out. Just because there was a report to dcf doesn't mean they will find a problem. They legally have to investigate everything even though some reports don't have any substance to them. I used to work for the similar agency in my state. Your best bet is to cooperate, tell them you talked to the pediatrician, etc. They can't tell you who made the report but ask what the referral was specifically about (they can tell you that part). They will probably talk to the pediatrician and the daycare as well.

See if they can give you a referral to get an evaluation of some kind if it is about the head banging. Head banging happens often with some medical or behavior disorders but it can also happen by itself and not be part of any serious disorder as well. A pediatrician, developmental pediatrician, or psychiatrist would be a good place to to start if you want an evaluation.

Cooperate with dcf... they know how to tell if a child is being abused or not. Especially if you tell them that you already spoke to the ped. about this... give them the ped's phone # if you feel the need... and I suggest you find a new day care provider. OBVIOUSLY these people don't know much about kids if they report you over a kid banging their own head, and eating habits...

granted the banging head is not normal but not unusual either. on what grounds are they there on. time to change day cares. not sitting at the table isnt real unusual mine doesnt. but I have reasonings like lack of table. the not using fork and spoon is an age thing. ask them what the charges are and what are you supposed to do. I have been investigated twice so dont panic. both times was when he was playing tackle football and had bruises on his arms duh boys will be boys. relax mom and the worst part of me getting investigated was it was the day before my grandfathers funeral. the good part was my uncle was an attorney. the advice he gave me was get a tape recorder and record all conversations with the dcf. all of them in case it goes to court. I dont know why he told me that but he was the attorney and I sure wasnt going to argue with him.

I've known kids who bang their heads for comfort - a way to put themselves to sleep.

If they daycare did cause it, keep in mind that they are obligated by law and did so in the best interest of the child. I know it isn't easy but try not to take it personal.

I would be LIVID. Obviously cooperate w/DCF, but I would not ever bring my child back to that daycare. Ridiculous that they would call for that, especially if you have your pedi backing you up. And I would absolutely get DCF in contact with your pedi for proof that it is a normal behavior. I would also ask DCF who called, and on what grounds. So sorry you're going thru this!!

I used to babysit a little boy 20+ years ago that banged his head of the headboard of his crib to go to sleep. He eventually outgrew it and everything turned out fine. We take care of an elderly alzheimer's patient - and some genius at the hospital reported us because we called 911 and had her rushed to the hospital when we found her eating her depends and the contents one morning about 6AM. They alleged that we fed her feces! Seriously? I had 3 year old at the time, and hadn't slept through the night once in over 3 years between the old lady and the baby......but once she (the elderly one) was asleep - she would usually sleep 'till 10 ish or so - ...so it was quite a surprise to walk in @ 6 and find her chowing down. The person from DCF that came - had met her once before when she lived on her own and was stealing fruit from all of the neighbors trees - it was at that time that it was determined that she not live alone anymore - so my husband (then fiance') moved her in with him (before we lived together & were married). This DCD agent - witch looked her up and down and shook her head and said down her nose to me "she has really deteriorated ....." and was acting like I did something. I told her that "Alzheimer's is a degenerative disease - and people don't generally get better". She said RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER "these charges are very serious and I will be doing a very thorough investigation and if I find you guilty she and the baby will be taken away and you and your husband will be arrested!" I was really upset, and told her to "bring it". I gave her the home health aid's phone # (a woman who was in our home 4-5 times a week to bathe her - and who would some times care for her when we were out of town). We decided not to mention the visit to the home health aid - so it wouldn't seem as if we were trying to "Steer her" in what to say - and opted for the element of surprise for her as well. My husband also talked to her primary care physician who wrote a glowing letter in our defense - as we take her to him if she so much as has a tickle in her throat or loses 1/2 pound - for fear that she will get sick and something will get out of control before we even realize what is going on. Basically in our case it turned out to be a witch hunt - but they have to investigate all claims.......just cooperate, give references and don't warn them that they will be contacted. I don't know about switching day cares in the middle of the investigation though - it may come off as if you are trying to hide something. Good luck!