Help...marriage On the Rocks.

I have been through what you have, so I'll tell you what worked for us. I've been married 19 years (i'm 40). Talk to Him!!! let him know your concerns now and exactly how you feel. Ask him if he feels the same and what you can do to get him excited again. (don't put it on him or he'll think you're blaming him) Make dates with him when he comes home, just the two of you. (the new baby may be a reason for the lack of sparks too.. even though she's the most precious gift you could ever wish for, it does take a lot of adjustment to go from couple to family) Think of the things you and your husband used to do that made you smile and laugh, and start doing that again, a little at a time... don't give up!!!

Don't give up. Marriage takes lots of work especially when you have children. My husband works on an oil rig and is gone alot so it gets tough for us sometimes too. Every time my husband comes in from work, I always make arrangements for a sitter for a night. Every Saturday night that he is in from work, is set aside as our "date night". This is what helps us keep the fire going. Also, it helps to do little random things like surprising him with some new lingerie and things that show him that you love him. But the main thing is COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION!!! Never stop talking to each other and let your feelings known.

Hey A.,

I have been married for 6 years and have two lil ones 2 and 1! It hasn't been easy and there have been days we wanted to quit too, but you can't quit just because things get tough. You would not do that with your lil one would you. I mean, you probably wanted to, I think we all do. But, marriage is for a lifetime not just here today and gone tomorrow. Having babies changes things. You can keep things alive! Communication is the key. Men are not talkers by nature. So, you just have to share your heart. When he comes home after the baby is in bed, spice things up. Sometimes it is hard to get a sitter or have a weekend away. So you have to go the extra mile! I read something one time about what 5/6/7 year olds thought about love. One said it's when mommy gives daddy the biggest piece of chicken. When you love someone you go the extra mile for them. It will be hard, but just like one of the other ladies said. Marriage isn't a fantasy, it is real life, and to get something out of anything in life you have to work for it! You don't get the joy of your baby for free. You had pain to have her, long nights with no sleep, fussy days, and lots more to come! BUT YOU LOVE HER! Just keep loving him and nurture your relationship. I promise this, if you leave because things got tough, the next relationship will be the same. You married each other because you loved each other, for better or worse. Love is long suffering! Hope you are encouraged!

A.,

I hope you two don't call it quits over something like this. There may be other things you haven't spoken of here but my advice:

ALL relationships go through changes! Things don't stay the same forever - stagnation would definitely be the end of a relationship. Men don't always respond to things, like your text message, the way we expect them to. It's highly likely that he feels there is nothing wrong in the relationship and is perplexed by your sudden display of affection.

"That was random" sounds like something my husband would say and we've been married for over 17 years now! LOL

If you really want to put some 'spice' back into your marriage, continue to do little things like that and he will catch on eventually. Men don't usually take well to sudden changes...they are such creatures of habit.

Don't think your relationship will ever go back to being what it was before though. If you want things to stay like that forever, you will be disappointed. It can be better in new and different ways but change can be a good thing! Have an open mind and heart. Marriage is a lot of work but it can be fun!

Hope things work out!

M. :)
www.enidmg.com

Sometimes after having a baby, it becomes all about the baby or kids if they are older. Marriage requires work and does change over time. If you want a little spice in your life....try making a little romance. A quite romantic dinner, making a date and getting a sitter, or maybe a weekend get away to a bed and breakfast. Things do change when you are not a newly wed anymore but they don't have to change for the worse....talk to your husband and tell him how you feel...that you love him and want to help make things better. It might just understand! Communication is the KEY to all good marriages. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband of over 2 years....we keep open communication on daily life and about our concerns..and it seems to work. Good luck to you. I wish you a long and happy married family life.

I have been married 2 years and 3 months. My husband work all the time because he has his own company. I have two in school and 2 at home, it's hard bu I had to find sometime to do so when I feel lonely it want hurt as much.Start doing sometime fun with your baby and write in your notebook on how you feeling so that you can give more to your baby.Keep your head up and pray.

give it a while maybe he is seeing how far you will let it go

Don't just give up......you vowed to be with him thru good and bad. Marriage takes work just like everything else. You have to work to keep the spark there, it doesn't stay on it's own. Your kids need both of you. The man you feel in love with is still there...so put on something nice and go on a date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep working!!! Marriage isn't a fairy tale, it's real life!!!!!!!

Please don't just give up. People give up on marriage way too easy these days. Stick together, work together, play together and raise your kids TOGETHER!!!!!